Lost on an Island
by muzical
Summary: Boone/OC I was in that plane crash, Oceanic Flight 815. The plane they claimed crashed into the ocean with no survivors. Well, forty seven of us survived the crash and have been hoping for rescue ever since. With our hope of rescue gone, what happens now?
1. The Crash

**Chapter 1: The Crash, Day 1**

I sat up right and looked around terrified. My arm ached as did my head and when I reached my hand up to brush the hair from my eyes, I felt a warm, sticky substance on my hands. It was dark red: blood. I stared around again, this time noticing what was going on around me.

People were wandering, dazed, lost and confused. They screamed and crawled around the sand, either trying to move their bodies away from the wreckage of the plane or to find their loved ones. One blonde woman in particular was screaming someone's name, or at least that's what it sounded like. I looked around again, and then down at my arm. The brace was still wrapped around it and in fairly decent condition. I pulled at the Velcro straps and pulled it from my wrist, flexing my fingers and turning my wrist in a circle to stretch the muscles.

A backpack was lying next to me on the sand and I grabbed it, hoping that it was mine. The name on the inside confirmed it, _Kalila M. Walker_. I always wrapped the pack around my ankle. You never know who is going to fly next to you, and I don't want to take any chances. The airplane blanket that had been wrapped around me was still draped across my legs, so I folded it up and stuffed it into the backpack.

_I need to stop this bleeding._ Rummaging through the pockets, I found an old, ratty tee shirt, just in case the airplane lost my luggage, and rolled it up to wrap around my bleeding head. The wound didn't seem deep, but what do I know.

The blonde woman screamed again and I was surprised she still had enough voice to scream. _What do I do? _It seemed as if time had stopped, or was moving in slow motion. I'd only been sitting for a few minutes, but it felt like hours.

It took me a moment to stand up and I tried to brush the grit and sand from my denim cutoffs. I began to walk, unsure of where to go or what to do. People screamed around me, ran around in circles, helped pull people from beneath wreckage and out of the water. It would have been comical, had it been a movie. _What could I do? Who could I help_?

"Pen? Do you have a pen?" A young man came up to me and grabbed my hand. "Do you have a pen?" His bright blue eyes stared at me.

"Umm, yeah, hang on a moment." I dropped to my knees and rummaged through my backpack. "Here," I said and handed him the Bic ballpoint pen from my notebook.

The man nodded and took the pen without even saying thank you. He vanished back into the crowd of people, still yelling about a pen. Someone yelled, yelled for everyone to move and I looked around to see who he was talking to. _Is he talking to me_, I thought and glanced up. Above me, one of the wings flopped in the breeze, slowly moving towards the ground. Shrieking, I began running, as fast as I could away from the fuselage, away from the wing that was threatening to comply with gravity.

The wing came crashing to the ground and I dove, into the sand to protect myself from the explosion. Pieces of the plane flew across the beach and exploded into fiery pits in the sand. The smell of burning gas and metal filled the air, causing me to choke as I inhaled.

"Are you alright?" A man stood over me and held out his hand.

"Yeah," I said softly. "Yeah. Thanks." I took his hand and he pulled me up to my feet. For the third time in twenty minutes, I brushed the sand from my pants.

The man pulled his hand back and wiped it on his pants. "Yeah, sure." He wandered back off, around the wreckage, leaving me to stare after.

I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath. I needed to calm myself down. After counting to ten, I opened them again and looked around. Some people hung off to the side, trying to build a fire. The sky was growing darker by the minute and there was no sign of a plane or ship on the horizon. "Do you need help?" I called out to the men by the fire and an Arab man looked up.

"Yes, yes of course. The bigger we build it, the easier it will be to see. Help gather wood and bring it here." At least someone sounded like they knew what they were doing. I dropped my pack and went off to the trees, looking for spare wood.

The Pen man walked past me with a cell phone. "Any luck?" I asked as he walked past. He kept walking, either not hearing me or not caring to take the time to answer.

I stayed close to the edge of the forest… jungle… whatever it was. I wasn't about to go exploring by myself when darkness was just minutes away. Twigs and branches littered the jungle floor and I picked them up, carrying holding them in my arms like I'd hold an infant. I filled my arms with the twigs and began walking back to the beach.

By the time I returned, there were several fires going with people huddled around each one. I handed the collected wood to the Arab man and walked away, picking up my pack as I went.

I glanced around me as I walked around our make shift camp. Away from one of the fires, I found a young woman painting her toenails. Of all the things to do after a plane crash, she was giving herself a pedicure. "Mind if I sit here?" The woman looked up and shrugged, returning her concentration to her task. "I'll take that as a yes." I paused as I dropped my bag, "so where did you find the polish?"

"It was in my bag," she said. Her voice had an aloof tone and I glanced at her in surprise. _Excuse me for interrupting_ I thought rudely.

"Well lucky for you that you found it." I unzipped my pack and pulled out a bottle of water. After taking a small sip and showed it to the woman, offering her somee.

The woman shot me a glare and went back to her nails. Rolling my eyes, I put the water bottle back into my pack and stared out over the water.

_We were on the plane, flying from Sydney to Los Angeles, and then it crashed. I remembered the turbulence, the shaking and shuddering of the plane. The oxygen masks fell out and then the tail section separated from the rest, dropping straight down to the Earth below. Then I passed out._

Someone sat down next to them, pulling me from my memory. I glanced over and met eyes with the Pen-man. "Who are you?" He asked, staring at me with his brilliant blue eyes.

I stuttered caught off guard by his short tone, "Um Kalila. I… You can call me Kalie."

He nodded and began talking to the young woman sitting next to me. It appeared that they knew each other, boyfriend and girlfriend perhaps? "I'll eat on the rescue boat," the young woman said loudly, ending their conversation. Pen-man shook his head and opened up the candy bar, taking a large bit out of one end.

"What's your name?" I bravely asked the Pen-man. I usually avoided chatting with people I didn't know, but who knew how long we were going to be stranded on this island. It couldn't hurt to get to know a few people.

"Boone. And this pleasant ray of sunshine is my sister Shannon." Shannon looked up from her toenails and glared at her brother. _Well that through my whole 'boyfriend/girlfriend' assumption out the window_.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I mean in this general area? I have my own blanket…" I trailed off, feeling my cheeks blush bright red. Why couldn't I form a coherent sentence lately? The crash must have thrown off my brain, sure that was it.

The faint light from the nearest fire illuminated Pen-man…Boone's face. "Sure." He looked out towards the water. "Do you want a bite? I can break you off a piece."

I smiled, for the first time since getting on the fated plane. "That'd be nice. Thank you." I took the small piece of candy and took a bite, enjoying the feeling of food for the first time since that morning. "Thank you," I said again.

Turning away from the siblings, I reached into my pack and pulled out the small airplane blanket that had been wrapped around me on the plane. "You're well prepared," Boone commented. "Do you happen to have a radio in there as well?"

"No, I left it in my purse at the bottom of the ocean," I said sarcastically and flashed a small smile before turning back to my bag. Reaching up to tie my hair into a ponytail, I remembered the tee-shirt wrapped around my bleeding head. I untied it and felt around the wound. When I didn't find any fresh blood, I tucked the tee-shirt underneath my pack. Using it as a pillow, I wrapped the blanket around me and curled up tightly.

'_Yes, I'll call you as soon as we land. Yes, I'm excited to see you as well. No I can't believe it's been four months. Adam, will you give me a minute to answer with more than one sentence! No, we haven't started boarding yet.'_

_I smiled at the woman on her cell phone. Must be a long lost friend she's visiting in LA. Turing my eyes back to her book, I tuned out the sounds of the airport terminal. My plane was flying from Sydney to LA. We had a layover in Singapore for fuel before landing finally in LA some twenty hours later._

'_Is this chair empty?' A man stood in front of me in a black suit and tie, gesturing towards the empty chair next to me.._

'_Yeah, of course. Go ahead and sit.' I moved my bag underneath my knees and went back to reading my book._

'_That's a good book.' The man said, pointing to my hands._

'_Yes, I've read it once already." Not in the mood for small talk, I buried my head back in the wrinkled pages, hoping the man would get the hint to stop talking to me…_

I sat up straight as a loud growl sounded from inside the forest. "What the…?" I asked rhetorically, turning to look back at the trees. Pen-man… no, Boone stood up with several other people and they moved towards the larger fire.

It took me a second or so to react and then I also stood up, just as several trees were pulled down inside the forest. "Did anybody see that?" A young pregnant girl asked and several people nodded their heads. Everyone huddled together trying to figure out what was making the growling noise. What was on this island with us?

Trees were being pulled down all around us, but it was too dark to see what was causing the chaos. Subconsciously, I moved closer to the Pen-man, Boone. He was the only person on the island I knew -- at least -- knew his name. I wrapped my arms around my body trying not to frighten myself into a panic attack. The noise stopped after a half hour or so, and people began moving back to their own private sections of sand, still looking around nervously.

*~*~*

The next morning, I woke up and stretched, forgetting for a moment we were stranded on an island. When I sat up, I noticed that mostly everyone was already awake and moving about the beach. I folded up my blanket and packed it back into my backpack. After taking a sip of water, I walked towards the group of people gathered by the larger signal fire.

Boone and Shannon were sitting in one of the small groups, along with the Arab man who told me to collect firewood yesterday. I smiled slightly as I sat down in the group. They were chatting, idle chit-chat about the island, and the noise from the previous night. Apparently no one else could figure out what was there.

A man said after he knelt down next to the group. "We're going to look for the cockpit. There might be a radio or transceiver there we can use to send a rescue signal." The man gave Boone some instructions and I assumed they must have met the previous day, during the chaos.

"I'll come with," a guy across from me said as he stood up. He couldn't be much older than me and looked faintly familiar, like I'd seen him somewhere before.

"No, that's okay. We don't need any help," the first man said as he stood up to brush the sand from his pants.

"No, I want to help. I don't really feel like sitting around." When the older man nodded, the young one smiled, "Excellent," he said and followed them as they walked away.

I stayed with the other three, not really feeling like talking, but not wanting to be alone. "Who was that guy? The one going on the search for the cockpit?"

"That is Jack and he is a doctor. I do not know the woman with him, but the younger man who left with them is Charlie." The Arab man spoke, without looking at me. "I am Sayid. What is your name?"

I smiled, happy to chat with someone other than Boone and Shannon. "Kalila Walker…"

"Your name is Kalila?" He turned to me suddenly.

I nodded, slightly confused. He hadn't shown any interest in me until now, why? "Yes, but everyone calls me Kalie for short. Why?"

"It is Arabic, is it not?"

I nodded again. "So my mum tells me, why do you ask."

"Do you know what it means?" When I shook my head he replied, "It means 'beloved'."

"Really? My parents were Muslim, from Iraq. I tried to learn to speak the language on my own, but the only word I ever learned was in Farsi, salaam."

"It is the same in Arabic." Sayid smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well this is just great; enjoy your conversations in terrorist languages. Come on Boone," Shannon stood up and walked a few paces away. "Boone! Let's go."

Boone shrugged his shoulders at me and Sayid and stood up to follow behind his sister.

*~*~*

I had lain back in the sand, my eyes closed against the harsh sun. The group in search of the cockpit had been gone for most of the day, leaving the rest of the survivors to wander the beach and forest edge looking for fruit. The sun was still high in the sky, but it would soon be falling fast, plunging the camp into darkness again. I hoped that tonight, the strange, terrifying noise wouldn't sound from inside the jungle. I hoped that we would make it though the night.

"They're back," a voice said from above me. I opened my eyes and stared up into the blue ones of Boone.

"What?" I asked as I sat up. "I must have fallen asleep."

Boone grinned and offered a hand to help me up. "Well you couldn't have slept much last night. Come on."

I took his hand and let him help me off the sand. "Where's your sister? She's not attached at your hip right now?" I picked up my pack and followed him off towards the crowd.

Boone rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I think she's fixing her nails at the moment."

We walked up to where a small crowd had gathered by the signal fire. "What's going on?" I asked, seeing two people fighting, punches being thrown back and forth.

The Arab man, Sayid, and another man were fighting until the doctor, Jack and someone else pulled them apart. "I can't watch this," I said, walking away from the group towards the largest fire. I sat down next to the young pregnant girl and stared off into the forest, watching the leaves and branches sway with the breeze.

"I'm Kalie, what's your name?" I asked softly, offering a friendly smile to the girl.

"Claire," she said, smiling back.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry to ask, but do you know how far along you are?"

Claire smiled again. "No worries. I'm almost eight months. But I haven't felt it since yesterday after the crash." She placed her hands on her stomach, rubbing small circles around. "I don't know if it's okay or not."

I nodded, unsure of what to say to comfort Claire. "Well, at least we've got a doctor here. That's got to be a good thing." We fell into silence, awkward silence.

"Hey, we're going to try and send a rescue signal using the transceiver. Did you want to come along?" Boone stood over us, looking down.

"No, thank you. I think I'm going to stay here, but thanks for offering." I offered a smile and Boone nodded then turned to walk away, leaving us to our silence.

"He's a cutie. Do you know him?" Claire asked, breaking the silence. Her hands were still on her stomach, rubbing circles round and round.

I shook my head. "Not really. Yesterday I gave him a pen and I spent the night by him and his sister, the rude blonde painting her nails." I pointed to the blanket in the distance where Shannon was working on her fingernails.

"How long do you think it's going to take them to rescue us?" Claire's voice was a bit shaky and she looked nervous. "I don't know if I can have the baby here."

I shrugged. "I don't know," I whispered. "I heard the pilot said we'd been going in the wrong direction for hours. They're probably looking for us in the wrong place."

We lapsed into silence again, both staring off towards the trees, both with our own problems and thoughts racing through our minds.

* * *

**AN: I've edited this chapter and changed the POV. I think I can write it better from the first person :-) New chapter should be up soon! Please leave a review on your way out!**


	2. Surviving

**Chapter 2: Surviving, Day 2-4**

The transceiver group didn't return that night, so I spent it near Claire, trying to offer the girl some comfort. It was hard enough being stranded on the island, but on the island and pregnant? She must be so worried, about her baby and herself.

They returned the next day. The Arab man, Sayid, said they hadn't been able to make a transmission, but he would try to boost the signal using any salvaged electronic equipment. Sayid tried to organize us into three groups: food rationing, water and electronics. I opted to help Claire and Charlie clear the suitcases from the wreckage and sort through the clothes. If we were going to be here a while, it would be helpful to have different clothes to wear. I'm sure the deceased wouldn't mind us using their things.

Unable to find my own suitcase, I took one of the extras from the pile and threw some extra clothes inside. Claire, me and a few others managed to sort through most of the clothes and separate it into a few piles: men's, women's and kids. One by one, the survivors stopped by and picked out extra things to wear. Everyone seemed to agree, they wanted to change clothes.

It took a while, but I managed to find time to sit alone and stare off over the waves. I needed to collect my thoughts and set myself straight. "So where do you call home?" A man's voice asked and I felt someone sit down in the sand next to me. I glanced over, not really paying attention to my unwanted visitor.

I sighed, trying to convey my aggravation at being interrupted. "I don't really have a home. I was born in Iraq, moved to England shortly after, and then moved to the States when I was fifteen. I'm at University now but…" she trailed off, her gaze fixed back on the ocean waves.

"What part of England? I'm from Manchester myself." I turned to face the young man. His face was dirty and hair ragged; his clothes full of holes; but of course, none of this was any different from the rest of us. It was Charlie, Claire's new friend.

"We lived in Finchley, just outside of London. I've never been up to Manchester. My mum died in a car crash when I was fifteen and Dad made us move to Connecticut. Ever been there?" My voice became more animated as I chatted with her fellow Brit. It was nice to hear a familiar accent, to chat about familiar places. Even though she'd been in the States for almost six years, it wasn't home.

"No. My time in the States was mainly spent in LA and New York. Ever been there?" the young man asked and when I shook her head, he continued his talk about New York and LA. "I've been rude! What's your name?" He held out his hand to me and I smiled, shaking it.

"I'm Kalila, but everyone calls me Kalie. I was sitting with Claire yesterday."

"Right! Right. That's a very nice name. I'm Charlie, but you probably knew that already. It's wonderful to meet another Brit. All those bloody Yanks are driving me crazy." He shook his head and a smile crossed his face.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's nice to have you and Claire around. I like hearing the familiar accents." We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves and watching everyone rustle around the beach.

Charlie left shortly after, opting to help Claire carry some luggage across the beach to a new pile. I stayed at my spot, not feeling like socializing or helping with anything. We were going to be rescued soon. They had to know where we were, or at least have an idea.

By mid afternoon, my stomach growled and I remembered I'd barely eaten anything that day or the day before. Leaving my pack on the beach by Claire and Charlie, I went off in the direction of the trees, trying to find some that bore fruit.

"So what do you do in the real world?" A voice asked from behind me, startling me. I dropped the mango in my hand and spun quickly.

When I realized who it was, my pose relaxed and I picked the mango off the floor. "Boone right?"

"Yeah, that's me." He smiled, one corner of his lips rising higher than the other. "So, as I asked before, what do you do in the real world?"

"Here," I said, handing him my piece of fruit and reaching to grab another. "I'm a junior at Eastman Conservatory, studying music education and history." Together we picked a few more mangoes from the ground and headed back towards the beach.

"Really?" He turned and looked down at me, a look of surprise evident on his face.

"You sound genuinely surprised. Why is that? Do I not look like a music student?" I laughed, knowing exactly why he was so surprised.

He shook his head and began backpedaling fast. "No, it's just, you look like…" he trailed off, seemingly not wanting to insult me.

I laughed again, bright and cheery, and Boone smiled at me. "I know, I still look like I belong in high school. I'm 20, I swear. I'd show you my driver's license, but I believe it's at the bottom of the ocean by now. I haven't found my purse yet."

"I'll make sure they card you later, once they start serving alcohol. It's not like this is a private party you know." Boone smiled and his bright blue eyes twinkled, causing me to laugh again.

"Thanks for the warning. I'll be sure I hide before the bouncer comes around." A grin crossed my face and remained there for a few moments. "So what do you do in the real world?"

"I used to be a lifeguard, still licensed and everything. Now I run a section of my mother's company. You might have heard of it, Carlyle Weddings? I'm in charge of clothing and such."

I shook my head. "No, sorry, I don't have much use for wedding things at the moment. Though I'm sure it's a very nice company."

He nodded, not bothering to comment, though it looked like he wanted to say something. "No boyfriend worried about you at home?" His voice sounded impartial and I couldn't tell if he was interested or making small talk.

I shook my head again. "No, no boyfriends. The only person waiting for me at home is my dad, and he's back on the East Coast. How about you, any girlfriend waiting at home? Crying because she heard the plane crashed?"

"No," Boone said, his eyes fixed on the tree leaves moving in the breeze. "There was a girl, but she's not going to worry about me. Shannon's the only one aside from my mother who cares if I live or die, and that's only because…" he trailed off, leaving me to try to decipher the meaning of his words.

I didn't want to pry, but was so very curious about what he meant. "What were you doing in Australia?" Boone asked, changing the topic. The change should have shocked me, but I suppose I expected it after his abrupt end to the last conversation.

I laughed, causing Boone to stare at me confused. "It's going to sound strange. I was studying this composer in school, Percy Grainger, and I was fascinated with his music. So I decided to take the summer to see his birthplace and all the places associated with him. And of course, the Sydney Opera House."

"Of course," Boone said with a smile.

"What were you doing Down Under?" I asked as I took a bite of my mango.

The only response was a low mumble and I turned to face him, waiting for him to repeat what he said. When he didn't, I nodded and walked off towards the beach, leaving Boone to stare at the leaves again. I glanced back, to see if he was watching me, or even noticed I had left, he didn't.

*~*~*

That afternoon, I managed to drag a piece of the airplane over to where I'd been sleeping. Using one of the extra tarps, I struggled to tie the tarp to the plane. I had no rope, nothing to secure the tarp to the metal. After a few minutes of struggling, I dropped the tarp and glared at it.

"Here, let me help." An older man stood behind me, offering some vines from the jungle. He threaded one end of the vine through a hole in the tarp and quickly tied it to the end of the plane. He continued to do this with each end, until finally the tarp was tied to the plane and formed two of the three walls.

"Umm, thank you," I said with a slight blush to my cheeks.

"I'm John. John Locke." He held out his hand and I shook it tentatively.

"Thank you Mr. Locke. I'm Kalie Walker."

"It's nice to meet you Kalie. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to see if anyone else needs help." John Locke smiled down at me and gave a small wave as he walked off down the beach towards the other survivors.

I moved my backpack and suitcase into the small hut. The pack made a wonderful pillow and a couple extra seat cushions an adequate bed. It wasn't quite as nice as my apartment in Rochester, but it would do for now, until we're rescued.

*~*~*

On the third night on the island, more noises woke us from our sleep. This time, however, the noises were closer to home. They were coming from the fuselage. Several of the men walked towards the remnants of the plane, flashlights and torches lighting their way. Jack led the way, of course, with the Southerner, Sawyer, and Charlie following closely behind.

I opted to stay underneath the tarp, curled up against the piece of plane forming one of my walls. I couldn't see what was going on, but after the strange thing in the jungle the first night, I really didn't care to see. There was a few minutes of silence and then people screamed. Unable to resist my curiosity, I peered out from behind the tarp and then pulled it back just as suddenly. Animals were running around the camp.

Curling up next to the piece of plane, I hid, hoping that the animals wouldn't run towards me. It only took a few seconds, but soon the screaming stopped as did the crashes from the animals. I crawled out of the hut and walked towards the group of people.

"What were they?" Someone near me asked, unable to hide the fear in his voice.

"Boar," said the man I'd met earlier; John Locke.

*~*~*

The next morning, I opened my eyes, surprised that I'd gotten any sleep at all. After the boar terrorized the camp, the doctor, Jack, brought up the idea of burning the fuselage. He said it would cause a fire so large; passing boats and planes couldn't help but see it.

Along with several others, I spent the morning gathering firewood. We chatted, and I learned a few more names only to forget them again once they separated. There was an Ethan, who claimed he was from Canada and a Nikki from Hollywood, but that's all I could remember.

"Did you see those knives? There must have been a hundred knives in that case!"

"Who is he?"

"What does he do for a living?"

People all around were talking about knives. Who had knives? "What's going on?" I asked someone standing by the wreckage.

"That old guy, you didn't see? He had a suitcase full of knives! They're going to hunt some boar since the food ran out. He's taking a few people into the jungle."

"Old guy?" I looked around. "Oh, that's Mr. Locke. He helped me build my hut…" I trailed off after seeing that the person I was talking to wasn't listening anymore. He'd gone off to tell someone else about the knives.

I dropped off the wood I'd collected and went to find Claire. A few people were collecting the belongings from the plane. "We're going to have a memorial service tonight, after Jack lights the fire," Claire placed a passport on top of the small pile. "Would you like to help?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. What can I do?" I wiped my hands on my pants to brush off the dirt from the wood.

"Just help us collect any of the passports, licenses and anything like that. We're going to sort through them after." Claire turned back to the plane and shuffled through some papers blowing in the breeze.

So after spending the morning hunting firewood, I spent the afternoon going through passports, purses and duffle bags. We made a pile for men and for women and throughout the afternoon, people stopped by to pick through the things, seeing if any belonged to them.

Claire went through and organized the remaining items into a small pile. She read through the pile, making sure to pronounce the names as best as possible. I watched, pleased that I had at least accomplished something that day.

Mr. Locke returned just before sundown, dragging a boar behind him. I wouldn't have noticed, except I just happened to be looking in that direction. It had looked like someone I knew was standing just beyond the tree line, watching. When I shook my head and looked again, the person was gone and in his place was a tree, waving gently in the wind.

Just as the sun was beginning to set, someone brought a torch from the main fire. He tossed it into the fuselage and after a few seconds of just sitting on the ground, the wood ignited, slowly sending the plane into a blaze.

Boone stood on one side of Claire with a torch and a large man, I didn't know his name, on the other as she read names off of passports, driver's licenses and out of a scrapbook. Several people bowed their heads as if in prayer, others stared straight ahead, seemingly unaffected by the scene in front of them.

When Claire had read the last name, several people murmured "Amen" and crossed themselves. Others nodded and walked away, back to their huts and blankets. I watched Claire walk off with Charlie, Boone with Shannon and Jack with Kate.

I walked to my hut, alone. I had no one to keep me company, no one to hold me as I cried that night. I kept her gasps quiet and sobbed into my blanket. Eventually the sobs quieted, the tears dried up, and I, Kalie Walker drifted off to sleep on the quiet deserted island.

* * *

**AN: Thank you to the three people who reviewed the last chapter. I changed the POV of the last chapter and decided to do the whole thing in 1st person. Please let me know what you think!**


	3. Water

**Chapter 3: Water, Day 6**

The days passed slowly. It was already day six with no sign of rescue. No planes had been heard, no boats sighted. There was nothing in the water except us and our island. The days were dragging by. We woke up, foraged for food, and sat around staring at each other. Some people were still keeping to themselves, Boone and Shannon for instance and a Korean couple.

I had begun staying in my hut after the initial morning routine. It was easier than talking to people I didn't know. People were friendly, but cautious.

In my preliminary inventory of my supplies, I found my notebook in the backpack. It was soggy from lying in the seawater for a short while, but still useable. After it dried out, I wrote down the names of all the survivors I had met so far: Sayid, Jack, Boone, Shannon, Charlie, Locke, Claire, Arzt, Ethan and Scott.

After that, I wrote down my first impressions: what they were like – were they nice or rude – and a basic idea of what they looked like. The last one was more to help my poor memory than anything else.

I looked up as I heard a scream come from down the beach. I dropped the pen in the notebook and jumped up. Several people had already gathered at the shoreline and were pointing towards the water. Raising a hand to my eyes, I squinted and tried to look out over the water. There appeared to be someone, a woman maybe, splashing out in the distance.

Someone ran out to the water. He pulled his shirt off and dove in, it was Jack. I watched him swim out, and then he disappeared… then reappeared. A minute passed, maybe two. And then he was swimming back, pulling someone along with him. When they reached shore, Charlie and Kate were there, waiting to pull them out of the water.

Charlie and Kate pulled the person from the water and Jack jumped back in. The person was Boone and he gasped and coughed up the salty seawater. There was someone still out there, still thrashing around in the water. He swam back out, back into the cool, rough waters but it was for nothing. The woman out in the ocean had stopped thrashing around… no one was there.

*~*~*  
"Hey, are you okay?" I walked up and sat next to Boone in the sand. "You've been awfully quiet today."

Boone stared out over the waves, staring at the place where he tried to save the poor woman from drowning. "I could have made it back."

I nodded, not sure how to answer or what to say. "Jack didn't think so."

"Yeah well who made Jack our leader?" His voice was bitter as he stared. His eyes never moved, never left the crashing waves.

I nodded again and stared out across the ocean, wishing I could say something that would help him. I sat for a few more minutes, watching the waves hit the shoreline. It was peaceful; the wind blowing a warm breeze across my face, the waves crashing against the sand, the birds calling above. I said a short prayer for the drowned woman, hoping her spirit was in heaven, safe.

"Well, I'll leave you to your thoughts I suppose." I stood up and walked away, leaving Boone alone on the beach. Halfway back to my shelter, I glanced back. He was still sitting there, watching the waves crash against the beach. I thought about going to Shannon, asking her to talk to her brother but something told me she wouldn't do it.

I stopped walking a short while later. "Arg, I hate it here!" I kicked a sand dune, spraying sand into the wind.

"Don't we all, don't we all," a tall black man said as he walked past. "We all hate it here and can't wait to get off." He walked past, leaving me to watch after him. I glanced around, looking up at the trees, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to go.

*~*~*  
My morning and afternoon was spent walking the beach and the outskirts of the jungle. I chatted with Claire for a few minutes and then with Charlie. Several people went to pick fruit and I joined them, trying to help anyway I could.

Sometime that morning, I decided that I was going to give Jack my wrist brace. It wasn't doing me much good at the moment, and one of the other survivors could probably use it. Even if there was no use for it now, there might be one day. I was sure he needed all the medical supplies he could get.

The breeze was warm on my face. It pulled my hair back and twisted it around, swirling around my face. I closed my eyes and let the breeze wash over me. It was so peaceful; it was almost hard to imagine they were stranded on this island. It was hard to imagine that we weren't here on a holiday.

I walked up and down their stretch of beach, searching for our doctor, the would-be leader. I checked the medical tent, his hut and the woods surrounding the camp, but no Jack was to be found.

"Hey Kate, where did Jack go?" I asked glancing around. Kate was fiddling with her hut, tying the tarp tighter around the branches. "I found something I thought he might like to have and I can't find him anywhere." As if emphasizing my point, I held up the plastic and cloth brace for a wrist.

"I don't know. He ran off into the woods, claiming he saw something. I don't know. If you want, you can put it the medical tent. He'll see it when he gets back." Kate turned her back to me and continued doing what she was doing, thus ending our short conversation.

Rolling my eyes, I turned away and made my way back to my hut. Jack would be back later and I'd give him the brace then. No sense leaving it in the medical tent for someone to walk off with. Sawyer had been known to loot and take things that weren't his. He had gone through the fuselage before we burned it and probably had things we could use.

As I walked, I thought about stopping in to talk to Claire, but Charlie had kept up a day long vigil. He was being very protective of her and I didn't want to interfere.

After tossing my pack towards the back of the small hut, I pulled my journal from underneath the cushions. Sitting in the sand just outside the hut, I read through my entries from that morning, adding things when necessary and writing new comments. I had already described my fellow survivors, some more than others. Now I was going back through my memory of the past six days, trying to write down everything I could remember. One day, once we were all rescued, I could tell my children about this experience. I would show them the journal and they could read for themselves about the people I was stranded with. They could read about what we did for food, clothes, and water.

Water. Someone had walked away with our few water bottles that morning. No one knew, and several people suspected Sawyer. Apparently, Sayid had already 'spoken' to him and he didn't have it. Who else would take the camp's only water supply? What would we do without water? Who knew when it was going to rain again?

My hand cramped and I laid the pen down, shaking the feeling back into my fingers. As I was doing so, I caught sight of a fight starting down the beach towards the makeshift ER tent. Curious, I leaned forward, trying to see what was going on without walking all the way down there.

"It was just sitting in—it was just sitting in the tent, and Jack just took off," a familiar voice said. I tossed the journal inside the hut and stood up, making my way down towards the fight. I couldn't see anything from my spot.

"What is going on?" A female voice asked and I recognized it as Kate, Jack's friend.

I gasped as Charlie pushed Boone and the scuffle began again. Sayid stepped in as did a few other men, trying to pull the two apart.

"Leave him alone," Jack said, stepping forward in the crowd. He reached out a hand and pulled Boone to his feet. "It's been 6 days and we're all still waiting; waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning just going for a swim and he tried to save her, and now you're about to crucify him? We can't do this. Every man for himself is not going to work. It's time to start organizing. We need to figure out how we're going to survive here.

"Now, I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley. I'll take a group in at first light. If you don't want to go, come then find another way to contribute. Last week most of us were strangers, but we're all here now. And God knows how long we're going to be here. But if we can't live together, we're going to die alone."

The crowd was silent as they listened to Jack's speech. For a man who didn't want to take charge, he certainly was now. Everyone glanced around sheepishly, looking at the person next to them, to Boone, then back again.

"What happened?" I asked Charlie as he walked past. "I didn't see the beginning of the fight."

Charlie shook his head. "That wanker took the water. Claire could have died."

"I'm sure he had a reason," I said softly but Charlie shook his head again and walked away, back towards Claire.

I looked around, trying to find something to do, someone to talk to; but everyone seemed to be already occupied. Jack and Kate had walked off alone, probably to discuss the water situation, Charlie was with Claire, and the Korean couple went back to their hut.

Boone had made his way down the beach and was now sitting alone on a sand drift, sulking. I watched the Southerner, Sawyer, walk past him and knowing him, make a snide comment.

I walked down the beach, my arms wrapped around me. "May I sit here?" I asked after a moment of watching him sit alone in the sand. When I didn't get a response, I sat down anyway. "You're as rude as your sister."

Boone shot me a glare then returned his gaze to the ocean waves. "I wanted to be left alone," he said curtly.

"Then you should have said so. But I'm here now, so oops on your alone thing." I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them. My eyes moved back and forth from the water to the sad man sitting next to me. "They don't hate you, you know." I said softly. "Everyone's just scared. No one knows what's going to happen. They're just…" I trailed off, hoping he might say something.

He grunted in response and I sighed. "Fine. "I'll let you be alone. It was nice chatting with you." I stood up and left, making my way slowly down the beach to my hom… hut.

* * *

**AN: Here is Chapter 3. Anything that looks and sounds familiar is not mine. I took Jack's speech almost word-for-word from the show. I do not own _Lost, _ABC does. Please leave a reviewo n your way out. And thanks to the two people who reviewed the last chapter!**


	4. Asthma and Music

**Chapter 4: Asthma and Music, Day 8-9**

We were working on Day 8 on the island, just over a week. Ethan had stopped by with some fish Jin had caught and I ate that for lunch before taking a walk across the beach. I needed to go and fill up my water bottle.

"Hey, Jack. Glad to see you're back," I said as I walked up to the medical tent where Jack was packing medical supplies and his belongings.

Jack looked up from his kneeling position and smiled. "Thanks… what was your name again?"

"Kalila… Kalie."

"Right, Kalie. What can I do for you?" He stood up and brushed his hands together, removing the sand and grit that was so prominent on this bloody island.

"I had this on when we crashed. I'm sure someone else would be able to use it more than me." I pulled the blue and black brace from my backpack and handed it to the doctor. "If I can find my suitcase, I have another one for the other wrist."

Jack stared down at the plastic and fabric. "What do you use them for?"

"A doctor diagnosed me with weak wrists. I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting, and no violin playing. Oh well, guess I ruined that." I grinned and held out the brace again, this time Jack took it.

"You play violin? You know Charlie plays guitar? Apparently he was in a band, Driveshaft; have you heard of them?" Jack bent down and stuffed the brace into his pack then zipped it up again.

I nodded with a smile on my face. "I do, I did and I have. I'm a music major back where I go to college. My violin was on the plane, in the overhead compartment. I wonder if we could find it…" I trailed off, gazing around the forest that surrounded us. I shook my head at the thought; there was no way we could find it, undamaged. "So where are you heading?"

"The water supply is in a cavern with plenty of room. I'm moving some of the people up there. You should join us. It be much easier to get water and probably safer than being on an unexposed beach." Jack picked a few more things off the floor and stuffed them into a nearby suitcase, then turned back to me. "You should come with us Kalie."

"Thank, but I think I'll stay here. Maybe later." I smiled again and moved back from the tent.

"Well, thanks for the brace. Someone might be able to use it. But if you need it back let me know." Jack picked up his pack and tossed it onto his back.

Smiling, I nodded. "If I need it, I'll let you know. But thankfully, my wrists have been fine since the crash."

I did follow Jack to the caves, but only to fill my water bottles. I ended up staying there for most of the day, helping people move their things. There was no reason for me to be on the beach at the moment; no one wanted to talk to me. Charlie and Claire were becoming friendly, leaving no room for me and Shannon wouldn't give me the time of day. Many of the older survivors didn't care to socialize with me, think I was too young. And if they did, it was to try and care for me. I was nineteen years old, I didn't need to be watched over and babied.

I sat on a rock just by the waterfall, watching Jack clean up Sayid's injury. He had been hit in the head trying to send a distress call up on a hill. Someone didn't want us to get off this island, wanted us to stay here, and it seemed like they would do anything they could. That included injuring our only electrical person.

_His name is Sayid, the same as…_ My thoughts trailed off. It must be a coincidence, even though I didn't believe in coincidences. _I wonder what his surname is, that would definitely tell me if he's the same person. He looks like the picture I had…_

I shook my head when I realized I had been watching them for a full five minutes. I'm surprised they didn't look over here and think I was crazy. _Just ask him, it won't hurt,_ I thought. _Yeah, until he wants to know why you're asking._

"We need some help over here!" Shannon exclaimed as she half-carried Boone into the caves. Jack and Sayid raced over and took over carrying him. They sat him down by Jack's medical cart and I walked over to Shannon. "What happened?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Why do you care?" She asked as she walked away to sit on a rock by the waterfall, the same one I just vacated. Her eyes never left Boone as she sat by the waterfall, breathing heavily.

I shook my head at her and walked away, sitting just off to the side. From where I was sitting, I could faintly hear what Boone was telling Jack and I felt bad for eavesdropping. _I shouldn't be listening to this, it doesn't concern me._

I pulled my journal out from my pack and dated the entry: _Day 8 on the island and still no sign of rescue._ My pen scratched across the notebook, writing down details of my uneventful morning.

My eyes shifted, distracting my attention. "I'm so ADD," I said with a laugh. I glanced over at Boone and Shannon and saw him knelt next to her, holding her hand. I toss the notebook back into my pack and walked over to see if I could do anything. Yes, I know, I'm awfully nosy. I get it from my mother...

"Just breathe Shannon. Come on, work with me," Boone pleaded with Shannon. She was sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth while coughing.

"What's wrong?" I asked, kneeling next to him. "Is she having an asthma attack?" Boone didn't say a word, just met my eyes and nodded. "Anything I can do?"

"No, but thanks." He took her hand and I sat back, not able to help but not wanting to move away.

I turned to watch Jack as he dumped out the medical bag, searching through the items. His head snapped up and I turned to see what he was looking at: Sawyer. It only took a few seconds, a minute maybe, and Jack was up and walking over to the redneck. They talked, and I could barely make out what they were saying. Then Jack threw the first punch, and then a second.

Shannon turned her body to watch, but Boone took her hand again moving her attention away from the fight. She let herself be moved, and then started gasping again. "Help," Boone yelled. "She's not breathing!"

I jumped up and moved back, giving Jack room to crouch down beside her. "Shannon, this isn't just asthma, it's anxiety. Shannon, we can fight this. Breathe deeply, through your nose." Shannon's gasps slowed and she breathed easier now. "See, I knew you could do this. That's it, keep it up. In through your nose," Jack smiled as Shannon caught her breath.

Jack told her to keep breathing like that, in through the nose and out through the mouth and he took Boone off to the side. I stood by, not wanting to intrude, but wanting to help. "Are you all right now Shannon? Would you like some water?"

She nodded, still trying to control her breathing. I picked up an empty water cup and walked over to the pool, filling it up. When I got back to her side, Boone was back, holding her hand tightly. "Here," I said and held out the cup for her to take.

"Thank you," she whispered and brought the cup to her lips.

I offered a smile and a nod to Boone then walked away, leaving them to their sibling moment.

"That was like a Jedi moment," the larger man, Hurley, said as Jack walked past him.

"Well this is enough excitement for me today," I said to no one in particular as I walked out the cave entrance.

I made my way down the path to the beach. Thanks to my somewhat decent sense of direction, I was already beginning to find my way around our small section of land. Now I didn't dare venture out further than this, I'd be lost for sure.

"Where you headed Tinkerbelle?" I stopped and dropped my head at the sound of his voice.

"Tinkerbelle?" I turned to the voice and put my hands on my hips. "Why Tinkerbelle?"

"You know, that magical fairy, always putting her nose in places it doesn't belong." Sawyer said sarcastically with his dreamy Southern drawl… did I just think that?

My eyes narrowed and I cocked my head to the side. "I know who Tinkerbelle is. And who are you calling nosy? Whatever," I said, waving my hand to dismiss the conversation. "I'm not in the mood to listen to you."

I spun on the spot and walked off, back down the path, leaving Sawyer to do whatever it was Sawyer did. When I reached the sand, I shook my head and headed over to where Claire was sitting by her hut. "Hey Claire, how are you doing today?" I dropped my pack to the ground and sat next to her.

"I'm good. Charlie's going to find me peanut butter." She had this cheeky smile on her face and I could help but laugh.

"Peanut butter? Whatever for?"

"It's the only thing I've been craving since being pregnant. And I happened to agree that if he could find me peanut butter, I'd move with him to the caves." She brushed some of her curly hair from her eyes and smiled. "I don't really want to leave the beach, but if he finds peanut butter, I'll go anywhere."

I nodded and took a sip of from my water bottle. "I'm with you on that one. I'd go just about anywhere for some chocolate. I don't mind eating fruit and fish, but chocolate is the one thing I'd kill for."

"So you were just up at the caves right? Anything exciting going on?" She asked after a short pause.

"Shannon, the blonde who does nothing but sunbathe, had an asthma attack a few minutes ago. Boone's convinced Sawyer has her medication and tried to fight him for it." I tossed the water bottle back into my pack and zipped it shut. "That's the drama for this morning. It's getting to be like a soap opera."

Claire sat up straighter and nodded. "I saw the fight and was wondering what that was about. Boone was looking through Sawyer's things and I guess Sawyer caught him. It's too bad; Boone's too cute to be as bloody as he was leaving." She laughed and I felt my face grow a bit warm. "You like him don't you?"

"Well, he is cute I'll give you that one. But he's got an attitude, and he's way too protective of Shannon," I said, attempting to unsuccessfully avoid the question.

She wagged her finger at me and sat back against the plane piece. "Your secret is safe with me."

I looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks. Now, I think I'm going to head back to my sorry excuse for a house. Is Charlie coming back by here tonight?"

"If he finds peanut butter."

"Well, if you need me, I'm just over there." I pointed to my piece of tarp and plane wreckage then stood up. "I'll see you later. Bye Claire."

"Bye Kalie."

I spent the remainder of my day writing outside my hut. Ethan walked past and stopped to talk for a few minutes, asking me about what I did in the real world and if I'd ever been to Canada. He was one of the few 'adult' survivors that talked to me and I had a fairly decent conversation with him.

"Kalie?" A male voice called a short while later, after Ethan had left. "Kalie are you around here?"

I dropped the pen into the notebook and stood up. "Yeah Charlie, I'm over here."

Charlie appeared from over by Claire carrying a black rectangular case hidden behind his back. "I heard that you are also a musician and was wondering why you hadn't shared that fact with me."

I eyed him suspiciously, but nodded just the same. "Yeah, I'm a musician and yes, before you ask, I know you're in a band."

"Well my fellow Brit, have you by any chance lost a musical instrument?" Charlie smiled and pulled the case around in front of him and handed it to me.

It was my violin case.

My jaw dropped and I stared at it. "Where did you find it?" I whispered, taking the handle from him.

"It was out in the jungle hanging from a tree. I was looking for Claire's peanut butter and there it was." I placed it on the ground gently and jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you! Thank you!" I held tightly and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You have no idea what this means to me!"

He grinned and hugged me back. "Now, you need to start practicing and maybe we can make up a duet. We'll record it once we're rescued off this bloody island and put it on my next solo album. It'll be terrific."

"Thank you," I said again, dropping my arms from his neck. "I thought I lost this forever. My dad bought it for me when I was thirteen. I've had it ever since."

"Well make sure you're practicing. I'll start writing a song for us." He grinned again and walked away, leaving me to stare at the violin case.

Slowly, I laid it onto its side and unzipped the zippers. Pinching the clasp, I lifted the top, revealing the dark brown, wooden violin. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked down at my instrument. The strings were still attached, though they had come loosened and the bow had a few hairs unfastened. I pulled it from the case and gently ripped the hairs off and tightened the screw. Relying on my ear, I tuned the violin and fastened the shoulder rest to the back.

Placing it on my shoulder, I put the bow on the string and pulled, retuning the strings as I went. I played through a few easy songs, Twinkle Twinkle and Can Can. I then let my fingers fly across the strings, playing fast fiddle tunes moving into my pieces for my Junior Performance Recital.

I played the last chord of the first movement of Haydn's Violin Concerto in G and then laid the violin back in the case. I loosened the bow and placed it back in the case. After shutting the lid and zipping it back up, I put it in the back of my hut.

I pulled my journal out of my pack and wrote how much I adored Charlie for bringing me my violin.

"Thank you, for earlier," a voice said above me and I glanced up from my writing.

I cocked my head to the side and met his eyes. "What for? I don't recall doing anything."

Boone smiled, his left cheek rising just slightly higher than his right. "For giving Shannon water, for offering to help, for trying to be nice to her even though she can be —and has been — a total bitch. May I sit here?" He gestured to the patch of sand next to me and I nodded.

I smiled back and shrugged my shoulders. "That wasn't much. And she's not a total bitch, just a medium one."

"You don't know her very well yet," he said laughingly.

"Yes, I suppose you're right." We lapsed into silence and I went back to writing in my notebook. When I glanced up a few minutes later, Boone was watching me. "What?"

He shook his head and laughed again. "So where are you from? I know you're not American but I can't place your accent."

I placed my pen in my notebook and shut it. "I was born in Iraq, but I was adopted shortly after and brought to England. I lived there until I was fifteen when my mum was killed in a car crash. Dad moved me to the States and we've lived in Connecticut since then."

"So you're a British Iraqi transplanted to America," he said, his voice still holding a laughing tone.

"Yeah, you could say that," I laughed. "Where are you from?"

"Boone!" We both turned towards the voice and I shook my head while Boone sighed.

"I guess that's my cue." He stood up and brushed off the back of his pants. "Thanks again Kalie." He smiled what was becoming my favorite smile and turned to walk back to Shannon.

I shook my head back and forth and picked up my notebook, doodling circles and stars across the current page. My mind thought back to his smile and my own smile crossed my lips. "No Kay, he's taken," I said aloud to myself. "Maybe not by a significant other, but Shannon's got him."

Staring back down at my notebook, I shook my head yet again. I needed to get off this island.

* * *

**AN: I don't own _Lost_. Please leave a review on your way out and let me know what you think! Thanks to the 2 people who reviewed the last chapter!**


	5. Revelations

**Chapter 5: Revelations, Day 12-16**

It took days for me to gather my courage enough to talk to Sayid. This wasn't an easy subject to broach and I wasn't sure how I wanted to do it. Should I just come out and ask him? Or explain first? Finally, I decided to go looking for him. I spent the morning wandering around the camp, trying to find Sayid. I needed to talk to him; needed to confirm my suspicions.

"Jack, where did Sayid go? I've been trying to find him all morning." I walked up to Jack's cushion, glancing around the caves, checking to see if Sayid was hiding here.

Jack turned and met my eyes. "He left Kalie."

My eyes narrowed as I stared back at him. "What do you mean, he left? Where did he go? There's nothing on this bloody island, no where for him to go. Why did you let him?" My voice rose higher as I felt myself begin to have a small break-down.

"Kalie, why are you so worried? It's Sayid, he'll be fine. I'm sure he knows how to take care of himself." Jack stood up and looked straight into my eyes, apparently trying to reassure me.

"You don't know that! You don't know what's on this island," I exclaimed loudly. People turned towards me, confused as to why I was making such a scene. Hell, I was confused as to why I was making a scene.

Jack placed his arms on my shoulders and bent down to look me in the eye. "He'll be fine Kalie. Now why don't you tell me why you're really worried about Sayid?"

"No one needs to be on around this island alone. We still don't know what that thing was in the jungle that first night. There are wild boars around the island that hurt Michael. Who knows what else is there." This time I spoke softly, trying not to disturb those around us. I took a deep breath and let my eyes wander away from his face.

"_Yes, hi. My name is Kalila Walker; I received a call earlier about my adoption records. Have you really? Yes I can be there. Thank you."_

"_Who are you talking to?" My father appeared next to me so suddenly, I thought he apparated like those characters in __Harry Potter__. _

_I held up my finger, insisting that he wait a moment. "Yes, thank you." I hung up the phone and turned to face my dad. "Yes?"_

"_Who were you talking to?" My father could get an answer out of a jar of peanut butter. He had the father stare down pat._

"_No one important dad. Don't worry about it." I picked my purse up from the table and headed for the door. "I have to go meet Heather. I'll be back later. Love you." I blew him a kiss and headed out the door towards my car._

_After depositing my purse on the front seat, I started the car and backed out of the driveway. The trip to the restaurant was short and I made it within fifteen minutes. The Private Investigator was waiting at a table when I arrived and he stood up as I walked up._

"_Kalie, please have a seat." He gestured to the seat across from him and I sat down, folding my hands in front of me. "I have the records, are you sure you want to see this?"_

_I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. I've waited three years for this, I'm certain."_

_The PI, Mark Keene, slid a manila envelope across the table to me. I flipped up the metal tabs and pulled out the documents. My eyes scanned down the page, seeing names and dates. "Now, your father might not want to be found. I wouldn't recommend going to look for him, not now. Everything in Iraq is a bit tense at the moment, as I'm sure you're aware."_

_I nodded again, putting the documents back into the envelope. "Thank you Mr. Keene. I greatly appreciate this." I pulled the envelope out of my purse that contained his final check. Sliding it across the table, I slipped my purse on my arm and moved out of the booth. "Thank you again."_

"_Be careful Kalie," he said as I walked out of the restaurant. Once in my car, I pulled the papers out of the envelope again and looked over the names. Hassan was my father's name and Ameera was my mother's. I had two brothers, one eighteen years older than me, Sayid and the other twenty-one years older, Omer. Their surname was Jarrah. "Kalila Jarrah," I said aloud, liking the way the names sounded together. _

I stepped back from him, letting his hands fall to his sides. My eyes fell to the ground and I stared at the rocks and dirt. "I was adopted, right after I was born. My mother died giving birth to me and my father couldn't raise me by himself. I did some research, trying to find my birth family. I hired a PI and he tracked down the information. In the file, there were pictures of my parents and my brother. Sayid looks like, and has the same name as one of the men who's supposed to be my brother."

"And you just happened to be on the same plane with him? What kind of coincidence is that?"

"I don't believe in coincidences. There's always a reason Jack, everything… every action has a purpose. There's a reason we're here… together." I stepped closer to him, and glanced around; making sure no one had overheard me. "Do you think he'll be back?"

Jack shrugged and knelt back down by his bag. "I have no idea. He was pretty upset with himself after the incident with Sawyer. He knows how to take care of himself Kalie," Jack said again and this time I tried to believe it. Sayid was in the Republican Guard, they trained their people well, or so I had heard.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything about this to anyone else. I don't even know for sure we're related," I pleaded with him.

"Of course," Jack assured me. "I'll keep it to myself. Now why don't you go find something to eat and try to relax?" He stood up and walked away, leaving me to stare at the waterfall alone.

"Like I can relax on Mystery Island," I shot back sarcastically. "I can't even take a bloody bubble bath."

I walked away from Jack and towards my hut. Reaching inside, I pulled out a papaya and wiped it off on my tee shirt, cleaning off the dirt. I let my eyes wander around the camp. People milled about, talking and eating, keeping each other company. The Korean man was down by the water, tossing a net in to catch fish and his wife was sitting by, watching.

Jin, I think his name was, had gotten into a fight with Michael over something. Sayid had handcuffed him to a piece of the wreckage our seventh night here. I don't think we ever figured out why he attacked Michael, neither him nor his wife spoke English.

"Hey Kate, what are you doing?" I asked as I walked up to where she was standing, watching out across the beach.

"Sayid's been gone for three days. I keep thinking I might see him coming back." Kate had her hand raised to her eyes, blocking out the sun.

I followed her eyes across the sand. "Let me know if you see him, all right? I need to talk to him."

"Yeah, sure. I'll let you know." She offered a smile then turned away, walking back down the beach to do whatever it was Kate did on her private time.

I stood in her spot, keeping up her watch across the sand. I'd only spoken to Sayid a few times, but…. How many people in the world are named Sayid and look exactly like my picture? What are the odds?

"Kalie! Come here! Come with me!" Charlie raced alone the beach and took my hand, practically dragging me behind him.

"Charlie, where are we going?" I laughed as we ran, and then slowed to a walking pace.

Charlie grinned and dropped my hand. "Hurley's riled up about something. You won't believe this. I've already got Jack and Michael there…" He turned and began walking again, not as fast this time.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as we climbed up a small hill into an open valley. When I looked around, I saw Jack and Michael on one end and Hurley on another.

"He built a golf course!" I dropped my pack and laughed. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders and ran off to stand by Hurley. I watched as Jack swung while Charlie and Hurley taunted him. It didn't take long, and soon half the camp was up on the hill watching the game. Jack was smiling, Charlie was trying to help Hurley swing and everyone was laughing.

"This is pretty neat. A golf course huh?" I turned as Boone stood behind me.

A smile crossed my face when I heard his voice. _Not good Kay,_ I thought as I turned to face him. "A doctor playing golf. Of all things."

"I heard that," Jack said turning towards me, the smile still on his face.

I waved back at him and he bent down to swing. "So are you going to play?" Boone asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I never saw the point of chasing a small white ball across a field of grass. There's a course, behind my house in Connecticut. We always ended up with the balls in our swimming pool and then I'd sell them back to the golfers. My brother and I made quite a bit of money during the summers." I laughed softly to myself at the memory.

"That's a pretty nice story. 'Course it really had nothing to do with my question." Boone smiled – my favorite smile – and squeezed my arm before walking back over to Shannon.

I moved off to the side, away from the game and sat in the grass. The boys traded jokes and clubs back and forth. Charlie choked and missed Par yet again before coming to sit beside me. "Ah, so you'll keep me company when Claire's not around eh?"

Charlie's face turned slightly pink and I laughed. Of course, my laughter was a bit too loud and I received several glares from the golf patrons. "Hush now you," Charlie said, gently nudging my arm. I shook my head and stood up, picking up my pack as I went. "Where are you headed?"

"Back to my humble abode. I'm tired of being fussed at for being too noisy," I gestured towards the golf game with a smile. "I'll see you later."

I walked back, through the jungle down the path. The walk was pleasant and I was happy to at least be getting some exercise. A few weeks on this island and I might lose quite a few pounds. We'd have to market it, _Mystery Island Diet. _

As I was thinking up our business plan, a twig snapped behind me. I spun and looked around, trying to see any movement or hear anything. A shudder ran down my spine and I went back to walking down the path, as quickly as I could without running. The leaves brushed my face and legs until I was finally back on the shaky sand. I looked back into the thicket of trees, but didn't see anything, no people no animals. "You're going crazy Kalie," I said as I walked down the sand. My eyes scanned the beach for any sign of Sayid before crawling into the hut.

*~*~*

Day sixteen on the island started the same as every other day. I woke up, stretched and foraged for some mangoes, bananas or papayas. Charlie and Claire had moved up to the caves (after he found her imaginary peanut butter), leaving me with no friends on the beach.

Charlie had walked past earlier and told me how Claire had been attacked the previous night. "You haven't seen anyone strange?" He asked, his voice was filled with worry.

I shook my head. "No, no one that I don't recognize. Is she all right?"

"She's a bit shook up, but otherwise okay. I'm heading back up to sit with her now. You should come up later. Jack thinks she had another nightmare. It'd be helpful if she had someone else who believed her."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Give her a hug for me, will ya?" Charlie nodded and walked away from me, leaving me to worry about Claire.

"Hey. So did you hear about Claire? The pregnant girl," the large man asked as he walked up to me a few minutes later. I had moved down to the shore and was letting the cool ocean water rush over my bare toes. The feeling was relaxing and reminded me of family vacation at the shore.

"Yeah I heard. It's pretty strange, isn't it? You're Hurley right?"

"Yeah, that's me Hurley. Dude, it's beyond strange. So I was thinking about taking down a list of names and Jack gave me the go-ahead. I'm writing down everyone's name and where they're from."

"You're taking names? Kind of like a census?" I brushed my hands off on my pants and looked up at the larger man standing over me.

"Uh yeah. So, what's your name again?" Hurley looked down at his paper and then back up at me.

"Kalila Walker. K-a-l-i-l-a." I brushed a lock of hair from my eyes. "But you can call me Kalie for short."

Hurley scribbled on his small piece of paper then looked back up, trying to think of his next question. "So, how old are you?"

I grinned. "I'm nineteen, born 24 March, 1985. Also, I was born in Iraq, moved to Finchley, England when I was adopted, and then moved to Connecticut, USA when I was 15."

"Whoa, whoa, slow down. I can only write so fast." Hurley continued to scribble down my information, his brow furrowed in concentration. "What were you doing in Australia?"

"I was on holiday, taking a vacation."

Hurley continued scribbling then looked up again. "Umm, so where can I find you, if I need to ask you more questions?"

"I'm over there," I raised my hand and pointed to a small tarp wrapped around a pole. "Address: 15 Oceanview Road. Don't forget to ring the doorbell if you need me." I laughed at my own lame joke as I lifted my pack onto my shoulder and headed off down the beach back to my hut, my new home.

"Hey Kalie," Boone's voice called over the sand dunes. I looked up from my notebook and smiled as he walked towards me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He ran his hand through his hair and smiled at me, making my heart skip a beat. _What are you doing!_ "You left the golf game a bit suddenly the other day and you've been hanging around by your hut." He paused and looked out over the beach. "Shannon and I are going to move down to the caves, did you want to join us?"

I stared at him, "you're kidding me." Boone gave me a blank stare, confusion plain on his face. "Shannon hates me," I said bluntly.

"No… no she doesn't. She's just… she's Shannon." His hand was back up in his hair, something I've gathered he did when he was nervous.

"Right. Well, I think she hates me and no offense, but I don't really want to be around that." I leaned back against the plane. "Sorry Boone, but I really can't."

He nodded and smiled again. "However, I will walk down there with you now; I need to get some water." I stood up and picked up my water bottles.

Leaving Shannon on the beach – she refused to leave after hearing about Claire – Boone and I walked down to the caves to collect water and chat. It wasn't a long walk and not ten minutes later, we were kneeling by the waterfall, filling the bottles up with the cool water. I managed to keep my cool and not fumble over my words, which was definitely a shock to me. I was never able to chat with attractive guys and not make an idiot out of myself, especially 'popular' ones like Boone was certain to be.

"I found her… the French woman," Sayid said as he stumbled into the cave and collapsed.

"Sayid," I exclaimed stumbling to get to my feet.

"I need some water," Jack said and I grabbed a water bottle by the waterfall and raced over to Jack. Handing it to him, I knelt next to our doctor, watching him rip open Sayid's pant leg and survey the wound.

"I had to come back. We are not alone. There are others," Sayid's voice rang in my head. "We are not alone on this island."

Jack went to the medical cart and grabbed the peroxide, bandages and tape. I sat next to Kate and watched as he began cleaning and bandaging the open sore. My eyes looked over Sayid's beaten face. I searched for similar features and found some: our noses had the same curve and our hair appeared to have the same curl.

"We've got a problem! Jack!" I looked up as Hurley came running into the cave. He knelt at Jack's side, shaking papers at him.

"One of them isn't in the manifest. Jack! He wasn't on the plane!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Hurley. "Who wasn't on the plane Hurley?" Jack put the peroxide bottle and bandages down and gave Hurley his full attention.

"Ethan. Ethan Rom. He's not on the manifest." Hurley handed Jack the papers and I looked up, meeting Kate's eyes, Boone's and then finally Sayid's. Now, I was terrified.

* * *

**AN: Edited (5/13/09) to include information on Omer Jarrah (Sayid's older brother as shown in "He's Our You.")**


	6. Scared

**Chapter 6: Scared, Day 16-17**

"Where's Ethan now?" Jack jumped up from his crouched position on the cave floor. "Where's Ethan?"

No one answered at first. "He went to gather wood. Took off on the path to the beach a little while ago," Michael said running up the natural steps.

Jack turned and looked around. "Where's Charlie?" He walked down to the cave floor, away from Sayid's injured leg.

"He went after Claire." It only took a few seconds until Jack and Locke were racing out of the caves. Kate and I shared a glance and she bent down to adjust the wrapping around Sayid's leg.

Locke returned a few minutes later, packing things into a pack. "We shouldn't be gone long, but if the bandages get too bloody, unwrap them, clean it with the peroxide and rewrap it." Kate walked over to him, her pack in tow, leaving me to stay on the ground by Sayid.

"I heard you're forming a search party. Can I help?" Boone's asked, Shannon following closely behind. I hadn't even noticed her come in through all the chaos. Her eyes never left him and as he walked up to Locke.

They argued, as Shannon always did. And eventually, I watched Boone walk out behind Kate and Lock, leaving Shannon to stare after. "Shannon, did you want to help me? I've got to watch him and could use some company." Hell, it can't hurt to be nice to the girl. She was practically as alone as I was on this forsaken island.

"No," she said, flipping her hair. She grabbed her water bottles and filled them up, pointedly ignoring me. I watched her walk out, presumably back down to the beach.

I stared at the water falling into the pool. I stared at the ants crawling along the wall. And I waited. I waited for Jack, Lock, Kate and Boone to return. I waited for Sayid to wake up and for someone to talk to me. No one came near me as I waited. No one, except for Sawyer.

"Hey there Tinkerbelle. Waiting for Abdullah to wake up?" Sawyer walked up to me and knelt down.

The one person I didn't want to talk to just happened to be the only one who would. "What do you want?"

"Well, you look bored so here." He tossed a book onto my lap. "Enjoy the bunnies." He stood up and walked away.

I looked down at the book in my lap, Watership Down, the book Sawyer supposedly took out of Boone's suitcase. My brother read this in high school and I laughed at him because it was about rabbits. Now here it was again. Stupid bunnies.

After an hour of trying to read the book – the words kept blending together – I felt my stomach growling. I took a glance down at Sayid and checked his pulse – the only thing I actually remembered from my CPR training from year 10. He seemed fine, so I decided to take a minute to find some fruit.

I walked out of the caves and down the path to the beach. Just off the path I found some mangoes on the ground and picked them up to bring back with me. They weren't bruised and maybe someone back at the caves would want one.

I wasn't gone long, maybe ten minutes, and when I got back I found Sayid sitting upright, Sawyer kneeling next to him. "Sayid, you're awake. What are you doing Sawyer?" The two men stared at each other then Sawyer dropped the metal object he had in his hands.

He picked up his pack and brushed past me. "I kept your signal fire burning," he said to Sayid as he walked away, out through the exit of the caves.

"What was that all about?" I asked, taking back my seat on a rock near Sayid.

He shook his head and shifted into a more comfortable position. "You are Kalila, right?"

"Everyone calls me Kalie." I wiped a mango off on my shirt and handed it to Sayid.

"Right, Kalie. Where is Jack?" Sayid took a bit out of the mango and wiped his chin with an extra tee shirt from his pack.

I bite down and peeled a bit out of my fruit. "Claire and Charlie were taken. He went looking for them with Locke, Kate and Boone."

"What happened?" He sat up again, letting the fruit fall to his lap.

"You heard Hurley right? He came in as Jack was bandaging your leg. He said Ethan wasn't on the manifest… that he wasn't on the plane. The only thing they can figure is that Ethan kidnapped Claire and Charlie." I looked away, not wanting to meet his familiar-looking brown eyes.

Sayid moved, shifting himself to stand. "I should help."

"What are you doing? You can't do anything. Sit back down." I jumped up, dropping the mango to the floor. I gently pushed on his shoulders, forcing him to stay seated. He looked up and met my eyes. "You're hurt and the best thing for you to do is to stay here. Michael took another group out and went in the other direction from them."

"All right, all right. But would you mind getting me some water, since you won't let me stand?" His voice had a slight laughing tone and I caught a glimpse of a smile on his dirty face.

"Of course." I picked up the nearby water bottle and walked over to the pool. Waiting for it to fill up, I turned and kept my eye on him. His head had fallen back and was resting against the cave wall.

When I returned, his eyes opened and he smiled again. I handed him the bottle and sat back down. "Your surname is Jarrah, yes?"

He took a sip and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Yes, why?"

I nodded, trying to play off my sudden burst of excitement. "I thought I heard Jack say it once. I knew someone when I was little with that name."

"Ah," he said, but the suspicion never left his face.

We lapsed into uncomfortable silence. I picked up the book Sawyer had given me and began attempting to read again. Every now and then, I looked up to watch Sayid. I thought back to the picture I had lost in my suitcase, the picture of my brother the PI had found. This had to be him. How many other people are named Sayid Jarrah and have the same curl to his hair as I?

One time when I looked up from my book at Sayid, I caught Jack and Kate walking in through the entrance.

"Charlie!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my rock. I started to race over to see him, but Jack held up his hand. Stopping mid-stride, I paused. "Where's Claire?" I asked softly to Kate who had come up behind me.

"We can't find her. Are Locke and Boone back yet?" Her eyes scanned the camp, trying to answer her own question.

I shook my head, "no. Not yet. What happened Kate?"

She waved her hand and walked back over to Jack, dismissing my question. I spun around, not sure where to go or what to do. Charlie was back, injured by the looks of his neck; Boone was out in the jungle with that Locke guy; Claire was still missing; and I had no one.

"Jack, what happened?" I asked, walking up to him by the medical cart.

He gathered the peroxide and some bandages then looked up, meeting my eyes. "We found him in the jungle."

"What happened to his neck?" I glanced back at Charlie. Kate had wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and he was staring off into the flames of one of the fires.

Jack didn't answer, just walked away. He left me to sit back on the rock next to a sleeping Sayid. I wasn't going to interfere with this one; I was going to keep my nose to myself.

A short while later I walked over to the waterfall to fill my water bottle. I glanced around the cave, checking to see if Boone and Locke had returned yet, but no such luck. Sitting on a rock, I untwisted the cap of the bottle.

"They haven't come back yet, have they?" I looked up to see who belonged to the voice coming from above me. Shannon was standing in front of me, looking down. "They're not here."

"I'm sure they're fine. They probably just camped rather than get lost in the dark on their way back." I dipped my water bottle into the spring and let it fill up with the cool water.

When I glanced back up, Shannon was still standing, her fingers fiddling with her necklace. "That's what Kate said."

"Well, I'm sure Kate is right. Boone's fine." I stuffed the water bottle back into the pack and zipped it closed. Hoisting it onto my shoulder I offered Shannon one last smile before heading back down to the beach.

About ten steps away I stopped and sighed. "Did you want to walk with me? I'm heading back down to the beach."

"Yeah, sure." She fell in behind me and together we made the trek through the forest back to the shore. Upon arriving at our camp, she went her way and I went mine.

Were they fine? Did they really just make camp for the night? Or maybe what got Claire got them as well. _No, that's silly_, I thought. "Of all the people to go out with, at least Boone is with the only person with hunting experience." I laughed loudly, "and a case full of knives."

Shannon didn't comment, just followed along next to me. We walked down the path, our torch held out in front. The fires on the beach brightened the end of the path and we heard chatter from one of the huts.

"Well, good night," I said to Shannon, leaving her and walking off to my hut.

After setting up my bed for the night, I wrote in my journal about the events of the day. My pen scratched across the paper, jotting down Charlie and Claire's disappearances, Sayid's return and my revelation. The sound of the pen coupled with the sound of the crashing waves, put me right to sleep mid-sentence.

It was very dark, and late when my eyes opened. I sat up as a stick cracked right outside my hut. Crawling towards the solid wall, I pulled my legs up to my chest and waited; waited for whatever was out there to come in. _Why didn't I scream? Why didn't I call for help?_ I thought about it as the seconds ticked by. I had no weapons, nothing to help if this thing outside the tent wanting to hurt me.

"Kalie? Kalie are you awake?" A low voice whispered and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Boone? Is that you?" The tarp was pulled aside and a torch shined into my tent. His face lit up the doorway and I smiled at the sight of him. "Why are you here, in the middle of the night, giving me a heart attack?"

He climbed inside the hut and let the tarp fall back behind him. I relaxed from my curled position and stretched my legs back out, lying on my improvised bed. "We haven't found Claire yet. John and I are going out again tomorrow to look."

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "But that didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

Boone shrugged. "I guess I didn't want you to be alone."

"Well that's very sweet of you, but what about Shannon?"

"She'll be fine." He smiled sadly, not my favorite smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Are you worried about her?"

My eyebrow rose, "why would I be worried about her? I just don't want to listen to the fight you two will have tomorrow when she finds out you're not there. And even worse, when she finds out you were _here_ instead of over there."

He laughed and this time smiled my favorite smile, the one where his left cheek rose up just slightly higher than his right. "Good point. How about this, I stay here until you fall asleep then I'll head back to Shannon. That way, I know both of you are safe and sound."

"I suppose I can't argue with you, can I?" I held back a smile, silently thankful that he wanted to stay here. I always hated being alone. I heard every bump, every sound, every cricket chirp and it terrified me. In my apartment back in Rochester, I slept with a hammer under my pillow. Laugh if you must, but it made me feel safe.

"No, so don't even try." He moved further into my hut as I pulled the blanket over me. "May I join you?" His voice shook, as if he was nervous and I could help but smile.

I paused. I wasn't fond of being alone, but did I want him lying next to me? "Of course." I moved to the edge of the cushions, leaving him room enough to lie down next to me. My heart started beating faster as he lay down; his stomach rested against my back, his arm wrapped around my waist. I thought my heart would leap from my chest it was pounding so hard. At the very least, Boone must be able to hear it, but he didn't say a word.

"You know how I said Shannon was my sister? That first time we met?"

I smiled, feeling his chest rumble as he spoke. "Yes, what about it?"

"Well, she's not really my sister. Her dad married my mom when I was ten and she was eight." He spoke softly and his breath tickled my ear.

"Mm, why are you telling me this?" My eyes were closed. I was relaxed and slowly felt myself drifting off to sleep.

Boone's arm pulled me closer to him and he held me tightly. "No reason. You can go to sleep now, I'll keep you safe." He whispered in my ear, his breath tickling the back of my neck and I shivered.

My eyes slowly closed and a smile crossed my face. _Thank you_, I prayed,_ thank you for Boone_. I drifted off, listening to his breathing next to me.

When I woke the next morning, the previous night's memories came flooding back to me in flashes of feelings. I smiled and blushed as I remembered how it felt to have his arm around me. I hated to say it, but I enjoyed having company for the night. For the first time since arriving on this Mystery Island, I slept through the night.

While the events were fresh in my mind, I pulled my journal up off the floor from where it had fallen the night before. I laughed when I saw the line across the page from where I had fallen asleep.

_Boone woke me up late, scaring me half to death. They still haven't found Claire, but he said they're going back out again tomorrow. I don't know where she could be. Why would They take her? What use was she to Them? Charlie didn't speak a word last night, and I have a feeling today will be much of the same. He must think it's his fault They got her. _

_He spent the night… Boone. I slept better last night than I have any night since the crash. He loves her… that's why he told me she was his stepsister. He's in love with Shannon. So why is he being friendly with me?_

_I'm going to talk to Sayid soon; I just need to think about how to broach the subject. How do you bring something like that up? I'm so scared of what he'll say. He probably doesn't want anything to do with me… _

**AN: I don't own _Lost, _so please don't sue me. :-D**

**Also, in trying to keep Boone in character, I wrote a short Oneshot in his POV. It's Boone's view of the ending of this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

* * *


	7. Prayers Answered

**Chapter 7: Prayers Answered, Day 21-23**

The tide had come in fast again, sending our suitcases and belongings crashing into the ocean. The other survivors and I raced into the water, grabbing whatever we could and dragging it back to the beach. Everyone raced around, except Charlie. Charlie stayed in his spot by the airplane engine staring out at the water.

"Charlie?" I asked softly as I walked up him. "Charlie, are you all right?" His gaze stayed fixed on the ocean waves. "Charlie, if you decide you want to talk, I moved up the beach. I'm right over there." I pointed towards the tree branches that would soon be my tent. "I'll bring you some water later…" my voice trailed off and I walked away. I wasn't sure what to say, if saying anything really would help. Sometimes, people just wanted to be left alone.

I dragged my suitcase up to the set of trees I had pointed out to Charlie. Using some vines out of the jungle, I tied the tarp to the trees like Locke did for me during our first week. A couple guys, Paulo and Scott I think, helped me drag some bamboo stalks over and I tied the tarp to it like my old place. At least now, I had one solid-like wall to cower against if need be.

It didn't take long to set up the seat cushions and make the bed. I changed out of my wet things and into a clean pair jeans and a tank. Sitting in the hut, I stared out across the water. Now would be a good time to go talk to him. He was alone in his shelter, looking over papers he had taken from that French woman. I debated for a few minutes, and then stood up without further thought on the subject. If I were going to sit here and think, I'd be here all day.

I stood off to the side, watching him, debating internally about going to speak to him. What if he didn't want anything to do with me? Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and walked up to the tent where he was looking over the papers and looking confused.

"Sayid, do you have a minute?" I looked down at the mess of papers in his hand and then back up to his warm, brown face.

He looked up and met my eyes with a smile. "Yes," he said shuffling the papers into a pile. "What can I help you with, Kalie?"

I sat down across from him, my heart pounding from nervousness or fear I wasn't sure. It could have been both for all I knew. How do I bring this up? _Hi, so before we crashed I researched my family… I'm adopted by the way… and I'm supposed to have a brother name Sayid Jarrah. Think that might be you? _But I chickened out. "How's your leg?"

"It's healing. Now what did you real need to speak with me about?" He put his pen down and folded his arms across his chest, leaning back slightly.

Well Kay, you might as well go for it. "Why were you surprised by my name that first day here?"

"It is not a very common name outside the Muslim world," he paused. "I did not expect to encounter someone with that name on our plane. Why do you ask?"

"You're from Iraq, yes?" I knew I didn't answer his question, but I had my own to ask. I had information I needed to find out and now was the time.

"Yes," he eyed me curiously. "Again, why do you ask?"

I took a deep breath and shifted my gaze to the sand. "My birth parents are from Iraq. I…I was adopted when I was an infant." I looked up and met his eyes that were so like my own. "I hired a Private Investigator a few months ago to find my family. I got their names just before leaving for Australia."

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked, his voice soft and low. "I do not think I understand what this has to do with me."

My heart pounded against my chest and tears filled my eyes. "Apparently, my mum died giving birth to me and my father either couldn't or didn't want to raise me on his own." I took another breath and kept my gaze with his, trying to see if there was any recognition. "I have two brothers too, older by many years. Do you have any idea what their surname is?" My voice broke and tears began streaming down my cheeks landing in patches on my jeans.

"No," he said softly, not quite meeting my eyes. "What was their surname?"

"Jarrah," I said simply. "My mum's name was Ameera and my father's Hassan. Does that sound familiar?"

He didn't speak for several minutes, but I kept my eyes on his face. Was he going to tell me I was crazy? Or perhaps that my father had given me up and never wanted to hear from me again? Maybe Sayid never wanted to hear from me again. I watched as he took in a deep breath. "My mother had a daughter, when I was seventeen, just as I was getting ready to go off to University. There were complications; she died in childbirth but not before naming the little girl after her mother.

"I fought with my father over the little girl. I said we should keep her, that mother would have wanted us to. But after five days, he signed the paperwork and she was adopted. I was forbidden to speak of her again and soon I pushed her out of my mind." He finally turned his gaze to meet my eyes. I saw tears fill in their brown depths. "I am sorry Kalila."

"Did you ever try to find me? Did you ever think about me?" I wiped my tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

Sayid shook his head. "Every now and then, I would meet a young woman about your age and I would think about you. But I did not know where to look. Father forbade me from speaking of the little girl. I was not sure if the adopted family kept the name my mother had given or not. Mother named you Kalila Ameera. She always wanted a daughter," he added softly.

"My parents… my adoptive parents changed my middle name to Marie." I paused, not sure how to continue. "I understand if… if you don't want to speak with me. If you don't want…" I trailed off, unsure of what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. I was terrified he wanted nothing to do with me, that I had just bared my soul only to have it thrown back in my face.

"Now why would I want that?" He smiled and the tears in his eyes twinkled. "You have found me; this was meant to be."

I wiped my eyes again and smiled. "What are the odds of being on the same plane that crashed?" I laughed and shook my head.

"This was not a coincidence; I do not believe in them." He placed the papers back on the table and moved around to where I was sitting. I laughed and cried as his arms wrapped around me and he held me to his chest.

"I am sorry Kalila," he whispered in my hair as he hugged me. "But do not worry; we have plenty of time to get to know each other now." I felt his lips gently kiss the top of my head.

We sat for a few minutes, his arms wrapped around me as we let the tears run down our cheeks. "So what are you doing? You have a lot of papers and such," I asked, pulling myself away from him and wiping away the tears. There was no sense sitting here when things needed to be done.

"You don't by any chance know how to read French do you?" He stood up in the sand and reached out a hand to help me up.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I learned Spanish in secondary school. Though I can't even remember most of it now."

He nodded and began looking through the papers once more. "Then I believe there is only one person that can help me. Would you care to join me? Or stay here?"

"Where are you going?"

"Shannon is the only one on this island that can speak French." His eyes traveled along the sand out to a blanket where Shannon was sunbathing, now topless.

I laughed and shook my head. There was no way I was speaking to her again. "No, thank you. I think I'll go sit with Charlie. Shannon hates me."

He raised one eyebrow and looked at me curiously, a smile playing on his lips. "What have you done to make her hate you?"

"I've been talking to Boone and apparently that's not allowed. Well I'll come by later, or something. Well, bye." I smiled and waved a small wave before walked away, down the beach to where Charlie still sat.

As I walked up to him, I pulled a full water bottle from my back. I placed it next to him and sat down. I wasn't going to bother him. If he wanted to sit quietly, I would sit quietly. "You're sitting in the same place. It does have a new view," I attempted a joke, thinking I might get a commiserating smile or even a nod of acknowledgement.

"Rose made me do something," he said softly. I barely heard his voice over the crashing of the waves.

"What?" I asked, turning around to face him. His voice was so soft, I wasn't sure if he really had spoken.

"Rose. She made me help her move stuff. So I'm not sitting in the exact same place." He spoke softly, but at least he was speaking. It was a start. "She says I need to ask help. Who would help me?"

I shrugged and offered a smile. "I'd help, if I knew what you needed help with."

"Thanks," he said softly, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"Anything you need Charlie," I said as I turned towards him. "Anything you need, I'll help. I can try and do anything." I reached my arm around and hugged him tightly. "Do you want anything? Fruit? Fish?"

He shook his head. "No, thank you. I think I'm going to go up and sit with Rose for a while." Standing up, he nodded once down at me then walked up the beach. I stayed in the sand for a short while, staring out across the ocean. I prayed for a ship or a plane, something or someone we could signal for help.

The sky grew darker and I moved up to sit outside my tent. I watched the people set up their new camps and talk amongst each other. I was alone again. Charlie sat with Rose and Claire was still missing. I had started to move to sit with Sayid, but Shannon beat me too it. I watched her sit next to him, wrapped in her pink shawl. She was talking and he listened… Yet again, I was jealous of the tall, blonde popular girl… only this time it was for different reasons.

"Hey." Boone stood in front of me, looking down on me and shaking me from my thoughts. "I see you've moved."

"Hi," I said, shifting over on my cushion to give him room to sit. "I had no choice. My house was being washed away by the water. I personally don't want to live underwater. I can't breathe down there."

He sat down and my heart jumped as his arm brushed mine. We didn't speak, I wrote in my journal while he watched whatever he was watching.

"Why is Sayid so popular?" Boone asked, his voice holding a slight bitter tone. "First you, now Shannon. What's so special about that guy?"

I turned to look at him, my jaw slightly open. "You're not jealous, are you?" He shot me a glare out of the corner of his eye. "You are!" As awful as it was, I couldn't hold back my laughter. "But the question is which are you jealous of? Sayid spending time with me… or Shannon?"

He didn't speak and I almost regretted my question. "Boone, I can't speak for Shannon. Last I knew he was going to have her help him with some French translations. As for me… Boone, Sayid is my brother."

Boone turned and stared at me, our previous conversations lost. "He's your what?"

"My brother. I was adopted when I was an infant. My father… biological father… in Iraq didn't want me after my mother died giving birth to me, so he put me up for adoption. He already had two sons and didn't really want a daughter that killed her mother. I hired a PI to research my family and I found out." I offered a smile. "I didn't know he was on the plane, it's just a strange occurrence."

"So, how did you…?" He and stared at me, completely confused.

I took a deep breath and decided to start near the beginning. "And so, the PI had found pictures of my brother, from when he was in the Iraqi Army and put them in the file along with the names of my parents and some relatives. How many people do you think are in the world with the name Sayid Jarrah and were in the Iraqi Army? And just happen to look exactly like him? I talked to him about it earlier, it's him."

Not waiting for a response, I tossed the journal to the side of the tent and lay back on the cushions. I pulled the blanket up over me and shut my eyes. "You're not seriously going to sleep on that note?"

"What else do you want me to say? That's it." I sat back up and met his eyes. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," he said defensively. "I just…" He shook his head and looked back out towards Sayid and Shannon.

"Boone, if you're that worried about it, why don't you talk to him? Why don't you talk to her?"

His eyes narrowed and he turned to look at me. "She's my sister; I'm supposed to protect her. I have to protect her."

I held up my hands in surrender and laughed nervously. "You don't have to argue with me about it. Fine, go protect her. I don't know why you're sitting here with me. Or, why you've been spending the past few evenings here instead of over there by her."

"I'm sorry," he said with a sigh. He turned his gaze back out across the beach. "This isn't your matter."

There was a pause, a long dead silence. I lay back on the cushions and closed my eyes again, assuming the conversation was over. The silence filled the tent for a few more minutes, then I heard the sand shift and when I opened my eyes again, Boone was bending over me. My eyes stared up into his bright blue ones. "I've been spending evenings with you because you're always so talkative you keep my mind off other matters. I've been spending evenings with you because you don't have anyone on this island, or so I thought. I've been spending evenings with you because…" he paused and leaned down closer to me.

"Because I'd really like to get to know you a lot better than I do." He leaned down further and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

I felt my heart stop, literally stop in my chest. It took a second for the blood to start pumping again and for me to take in another breath. "Now you go to sleep, don't worry about anything." He kissed my forehead again and I shut my eyes.

Boone lay down next to me, his arm draped over my waist. Not long after, I heard a sweet voice singing down the beach. And that was the last thing I heard before drifting off, Boone's arm wrapped around my waist.

* * *

**AN: Edited (5/13/09) to include information about Omer Jarrah (Sayid's brother as shown in "He's Our You.")**


	8. Realization

**Chapter 8: Realization, Day 24**

I woke up early and changed clothes before crawling outside my hut. After making my way to our stockpile of fruit, I fished through, trying to find a couple pieces that weren't bruised or rotting. The rotten ones I through into a separate pile and walked back to the tent with the two clean pieces. I picked up one of the books I had borrowed from Sawyer. Yes, he actually let me borrow them and surprisingly didn't ask for anything in return. He's been acting a lot nicer lately, but I'm still not quite sure what his angle is.

"Reading again? That's all you do is read or write." Boone stood over me with a smile on his face.

I looked up from the book, meeting his eyes. "Well, the minute you find something else for me to do on this bloody island aside from finding fruit, let me know. I've only got so many options."

"Yeah, well you could always keep Shannon company. She could use a friend here."

"Well, that won't be me. She hates me. I've tried to be nice to her but…" My eyes shifted back down and I tried to focus on the words on the page. They all seemed to blend together when he was around; I was never able to concentrate for longer than thirty seconds.

His eyes were on me, and I tried not to notice. I had to ask, my nosiness was starting to show again. "Where do you two go? When you disappear into the jungle every morning and don't come back until late at night?" I asked looking up once again from my book.

He paused for a moment, and then met my eyes. "We're looking for Claire."

I stared up at him. "Really? I thought there was no trail, no nothing?"

"Yes, really…" he trailed off and both our gazes shifted down the beach to where Shannon was now yelling his name. "Guess I've got to go. I'll stop by later." He waved and walked down the sand towards his beauty queen sister.

"Right, see you later," I said, watching him walk away. He'd be back, to help me with my shelter and then later that night. He'd stay here, probably until I fell asleep, then he'd leave and go back over to Shannon. I wasn't sure if she'd asked where he went every night before retiring to bed, I didn't want to pry that much.

I waited, rereading the page of my book dozens of times before deciding on my next course of action. I wanted to talk to Sayid, but I didn't want to bother him. He was still working on the papers from the French woman and doing other things that Sayid did.

An hour passed before I stood up and tossed the book inside the tent. I made my way down the beach, inhaling the warm salt air and letting the breeze blow past me.

"Are you free?" I asked softly as I walked up to Sayid's hut.

He looked up with a smile. "For you, of course. What do you need?" He gestured for me to sit down and I did, crossing my legs Indian style.

"Well, I was hoping we could talk." I looked everywhere but his face, trying to keep my nerves in check.

He nodded and leaned against a bamboo pole. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Isn't there anything you want to know about me? Where I lived? Where I went to school? What do I major in at University?" I blurted out uncharacteristically.

"There are many things I would like to know about you. As I'm sure there are many things you would like to know about me and our family." He paused and I glanced up at him as he laughed lightly. "This is quite awkward."

"We can play the Question Game. I ask a question and you answer then ask your own." I paused, silently debating whether or not this was a good idea. What a stupid game. "Did he ever tell you why he gave me up?"

Sayid sighed and shook his head. "The only reason I could gather is that you caused him too much pain. He loved her, so very much." His brown eyes met mine, "why did you want to find your family?"

What a question. "I… my mother was killed in a car accident in London four years ago and… my brother died last year. I just… I thought it was time." I tried to think of a question to lighten the mood but failed miserably. "Have you ever been married?"

"No," he said softly, looking away from me. "I was at University for a few years then joined the Iraqi Army, as was expected of me. My… our father was an Army hero. He did a lot of great things for Iraq and I was expected to follow in his footsteps."

"Did you?" I asked softly, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"I thought it was my turn to ask a question?" He asked with a smile, avoiding my question very well. I nodded as he thought. "What do you major in at University? Music perhaps?"

That was the best thing about the 'Question Game,' you could change subject topics very easily as Sayid just did. "Yes, I do major in music. I play violin with the orchestra and take private lessons. I'm not very good…"

"No, no," he said shaking his head. "I have heard you play and you are far from 'not very good.'"

I laughed as a blush rose in my cheeks. "Thank you. Charlie found my violin in the jungle hanging from a tree. He says he's going to write a duet for us and then we can record it once we're rescued. Apparently he's a rock star; of course no one would ever have known that. He's only told everyone on this bloody island." I laughed and met Sayid's eyes. "Well, I suppose it's my turn to ask a question. What was mum like?"

"She… she was beautiful. You look very much like her. She was kind and caring. Even as she was dying, she wanted to make sure father and I were taken care of. I wish you could have met her." He paused with a smile. "And my question, what is between you and Boone that would cause Shannon to dislike you?"

My cheeks blushed again and I looked away. "I've been 'seeing' him I suppose. He's been staying at my tent most nights before retiring to his with Shannon."

"I am not sure I understand."

"I don't either." I looked away, down the beach at the waves crashing against the shoreline. "I just don't know…" I trailed off, unsure of where I wanted this conversation to go and what I wanted to say.

"I apologize if I am not up to par on being a brother. I was raised as an only child," he said as he stood up and moved to sit across from me. I laughed as my eyes filled with tears. "You have two younger brothers?"

I shook my head slowly. "I _had_ two younger brothers. James, my brother just younger than me… he passed away last year. Now it's just Ashton and I." The tears that had welled in my eyes threatened to fall as I spoke about my deceased brother.

Sayid nodded and took my hand in his, squeezing it gently. "May I ask what happened?"

"I don't like to talk about it," I said softly. "It's still too fresh in my memory. Maybe later…" I trailed off again and let my eyes wander away from my new brother.

We sat for a short while longer, sometimes talking and sometimes in silence. It was nice to have someone to talk to. He didn't pressure me to talk like most of my friends back in the States and he didn't seem to expect anything from me. Boone was similar, but it was always awkward when he was around.

I left Sayid on the beach a short while later and began looking for Boone. He had promised the previous night to help me make a solid wall for my shelter. I was fine while he was there with me, but once he left I woke up and I was scared once again.

"Hey John, have you seen Boone? He was supposed to come back here and help me drag some of the wreckage over for my shelter." I raised my hand to cover my eyes and looked around the beach.

"He's hunting, told me to take the afternoon off. He should be back soon. When I see him, I'll send him your way." He nodded once and smiled, walking away from me and back into the jungle. I stared after him, confused. Why would Boone… it didn't make sense.

I wandered the camp, trying to find someone to keep me company until darkness set and I had an excuse to be holed up in my hut. Our resident Science teacher was hanging around by his make-shift lab. "Good afternoon Dr. Arzt. Find any new bugs today?"

"There's this fascinating spider…" He trailed on and I let my attention wander. I hated science in school and wanted nothing to do with it now. But Dr. Arzt was always ready to talk and I needed my mind occupied.

"Dr. Arzt? You I was wondering if you could help me." A young woman walked up to us and unknowingly brushed me aside. She looked familiar, but I knew I hadn't seen her on the island before… or maybe I just missed her?

I stepped back a few steps and smiled at the science teacher. After giving a quick wave, I walked away, back down the beach. Charlie was wandering around, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

Should I walk up to the caves? No. I returned to my home (no use denying the truth) and sat in the sand outside. Shannon was sunbathing again and I debated doing the same. I was already brown, benefits of being from a middle-eastern country, but it would kill time. Only problem was, I didn't have a swimsuit.

Glancing up at the sky, I guessed that we had about another two hours left until Sundown. And Boone still had not come back from his hunt in the woods. I wondered if I should be worried about this. He was most likely fine; Locke wouldn't have let Boone go off on his own if he wasn't sure he'd be fine, right?

The darkness came slowly, setting the sky into a multitude of colors: purple, pink, blue and brown. It was beautiful. I longed to have a camera to take pictures to show my dad when we finally got rescued.

My eyes stared into the fire just outside my tent. I watched the flames shift and make funny shapes. Normally, Boone was back by now, sitting next to me. His arm might be around my shoulders as I wrote, or he my just sit next to me, staring off into the night. It was those moments I longed for, the moments that kept me sane on this stupid island.

But he wasn't back yet. A cool breeze blew across the beach and I crawled into the hut and pulled a sweater out of my suitcase. Rather than sit outside and be cold, I opted to stay inside and write. The fire gave off enough light that if I lay on my stomach towards the ocean, I could see well enough to write.

I buried my head in the notebook and scribbled about the day. Against my better thoughts, I wrote down how I felt about certain people… Sayid, Boone. After looking down at what I wrote, I decided I should probably find a better hiding place for my journal for now on. I didn't need anyone snooping around my things…Sawyer…and reading it.

A shadow crossed over my fire and I sucked in a deep breath as my heart skipped in fear. It was Boone. "Boone, you scared me. Where have you been?" I exhaled in relief as he walked up to my hut. "You've been gone all day. Locke said you were out hunting…"

"Umm, yeah," he dropped his pack and the knife onto the sand outside my hut and turned back to face me. "Yeah, I was… hunting. Guess I lost track of time."

He sat down next to me, his arm brushing against mine. He looked outside the tent towards the ocean. "While I was out, I had a revelation."

I put my pen in my notebook and closed it, placing it on the side next to the makeshift bed. Sitting up, I curled my legs underneath me like a pretzel. "What kind of revelation? And why are you all dirty and sweaty? What have you been doing?"

He moved up to a kneeling position next to me, right by my waist, his bright blue eyes staring into mine. "Well, it had to do with Shannon and you." He was whispering and I had to strain to hear him. "Like I said before, Shannon's not my real sister. Our parents got married when we were kids. You see, I've been in love with Shannon for a long while now. I always thought I could handle it and I did… until we were in Sydney.

"She's been a big part of my life for almost as long as I can remember and I will always feel something for her. My feelings for her have clouded my vision on… on a lot of subjects. I had that moment in the jungle today and I realized something."

He paused and took a deep breath. "I realized that there are better things on this island for me than her."

"What are you talking about?" I stared at him, completely confused. He was babbling, or so it seemed and I couldn't make anything of it. What did this have to do with me?

Boone took my hand and smiled down at me, my favorite smile. "I think I'd like to get to know you a lot better than I do now."

"You've said that before," I whispered, still staring into his eyes. They took my breath away and I couldn't look way. I had always laughed at girls in movies and books that were enamored with a boy. And here I was, staring into his eyes and trying to remember to breathe.

Boone's right hand came up and brushed my cheek. His eyes stared deeply into mine and I felt my self getting lost in their blue depths. He leaned in and I could feel his breath on my lips. I shut my eyes and stopped breathing. His lips came in and gently brushed mine once, then twice, pulling slightly at my bottom lip. And then he pulled away. I took a slow, deep breath and opened my eyes again. He had my favorite smile on his face and looked happy for the first time in quite a while. Probably happier than I had ever seen him.

"What brought this on?" I said after I had caught my breath and slowed my heart to a reasonable pace.

"I… I just had a moment. I realized I needed to let go of some things in order for others to start. I really like you Kalie and I like being around you. I want to be around you more than I am now, if you'll let me."

"Umm, of course," I said softly. "I'd love to have you around here more often."

He brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed the back, smiling up at me. "Sleep Kalie, I'll be here all night to watch over you."

"What about Shannon?" I couldn't help but ask the question, but I wasn't sure if he knew what I meant.

"Don't worry about Shannon." He kissed my hand again and smiled. "Go to sleep Kay. It's late."

I lay back down and smiled up at him. His fingers brushed through my locks of hair as my eyes shut. I felt his fingertips gently caress my face, as if he was memorizing every curve and line. I felt more relaxed at that moment than I had in weeks.

* * *

**AN: So, what do you think? Getting a bit too sappy? A bit too Mary-Sueish? Leave a review and let me know what you think! I love hearing your opinions!**

**Thanks to the 3 people who reviewed the last chapter. Ya'll are great!**


	9. Day 26 and 27

**Chapter 9: Day 26-27**

_Journal, _

_There's still no sign of Claire. Locke and Boone are out every day trying to find her, but no such luck. Charlie has finally realized it's not his fault she was taken. Rose got him to accept that and now he's speaking again. He's still not the same person he was before she was taken, but he's better than immediately after._

_Aside from that, the past few days had been wonderful. Boone has spent every night with me… the entire night. When I wake up in the morning, he's still there. I haven't slept this well since long before the plane crash. _

_I woke up before him yesterday and just sat there looking down at him. Yes, it's me being sort of scary. He's so peaceful, so relaxed when he's sleeping…_

Boone walked up to my tent and dropped his pack. On the side of his face was a large, red welt. "What happened? What did you do now?"

"Michael hit me."

"Michael? What did you do to him?" I couldn't hide the disbelief from my voice, but tried nonetheless.

He stopped rummaging through the pack and looked up at me. "Why do you think I did something to him?"

"Because Michael barely does anything to anyone. I forget he's here most of the time. Now come here and let me look at your cheek." I took an old tee shirt out of my backpack and dampened it with water from my water bottle. "This will have to do since we don't have any ice."

Boone sat in front of me in the sand and turned his face towards me. I smiled, looking down into his blue eyes as I pressed the cool shirt against his cheek. "John was teaching Walt to throw knives," he started, shifting his gaze away from me. "Michael came up, angry – of course – and shoved the knife in John's face. I tackled him and Michael punched me."

"Of course he did. I wouldn't want my son learning how to throw knives either." I smirked and shook my head, keeping the cool shirt against his face. "Does it hurt?"

"Just a little. Mainly right here." He pointed to the center of the red welt and I shook my head, a smile creeping across my lips.

Leaning down, I placed a small kiss on his cheek. "Does that feel better?"

"Yes, but it also hurts here. And here. And here." He pouted and pointed to a small scratch on his forehead, then his chin and a small welt on his upper lip.

I kissed his forehead, then his chin and finally I placed a small kiss on his upper lip. "I don't know what happened to you during your 'revelation', but..." I trailed off as he leaned in towards me deepened the kiss.

"But what?" He whispered, kissing my lips one last time.

"I can't remember." I leaned in and kissed him again on the cheek. "I seem to have become so distracted; I can't remember what I wanted to say."

"Boone, are you ready to go?" Locke called from just down the beach.

Sighing, Boone relaxed his arms that were wrapped around my upper body. "I'll be back later and we can continue this conversation where we left off. Try and think of what you were planning on saying." He smirked at me as he stood up and brushed sand off his pants.

I maturely stuck my tongue out at him. "Have fun," I replied with a little wave. And then he was gone. He disappeared into the jungle right behind Locke, leaving me to stare at the leaves on the trees. I stare at far too many things.

My days were so uneventful. I spent the morning getting food and talking to a few people, then wandered around the camp. When I was at University, I longed for days in which to do nothing. And now, I have them and I can't find anything to do. I spend the days waiting for nightfall and for Boone to come back. Whatever will happen when we're rescued off this island and head back home? Will he abandon me, leaving me to nurse a broken heart?

I pondered this in my journal, writing down the first thoughts that came to mind. Deep down I wanted to believe that he would come with me once we were rescued, that we would continue this strange relationship back in civilization. But the more prominent feelings were that he was going to leave me at the airport. He would head back off with Shannon and things would be like they were before we crashed.

As usual, Locke and Boone were gone far into the night. He showed up at the tent what felt like a couple hours after darkness set, not saying a word. Sitting down he kissed my forehead and lay back on the cushions. We had expanded the bed by another row of cushions, seeing as he was spending the entire night now, not just until I fell asleep.

My thoughts of the future flashed through my head as we sat in the tent. "So, I was thinking," Boone said as he sat up on the cushions, pulling me from my thoughts.

"That must have hurt; I'm surprised I didn't smell smoke." I had my eyes closed, trying to hide the smile from my face.

I felt a light slap against my arm and the smile broke free. "Aren't you the funny person tonight? Taking lessons from Shannon?"

"What were you thinking about?" I would do just about anything to avoid being compared to his lovely sister, who still hated me, possibly even more now that Boone was spending much less time with her and much more time with me.

"After we get rescued, you should come with me to Malibu and meet my mother."

My eyes snapped open and I sat up, my eyes fixed up at him. "You're kidding me, right? I don't know if we're at the right stage to be meeting each other's parents." Where did this come from? This certainly didn't fit in with my whole idea of our 'relationship'.

"What are you so worried about? It's just my mother." He played it off like it wasn't a big deal, but it was. Taking my hand in his, he squeezed it lightly. "It'll be fine. She's not that bad, honest."

That wasn't what I was worried about. "I've never met a boy's parents," I mumbled under my breath, embarrassed. I looked away and studied a small, dark patch of sand by the entrance to the hut.

"What?" He smiled and tilted my chin so that I was looking at him. "What's the problem?"

Keeping my chin still, I shifted my gaze so that it went just past him, out towards the dark water. "I've never met a guy's parents before," I said again a little louder this time.

Boone tilted his head and cocked his eyebrow. "You're serious? Have you never had a boyfriend before?"

"Primary school?" I offered, even more embarrassed by this point. "James is… _was_ two years younger than me, but so much bigger. He scared off most of the boys. And besides, I wasn't interested in most of them anyways."

"Never had a boyfriend," he said, looking away from me, the smile growing on his face. "You really are much better for me that I thought."

It was my turn to look at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

He laughed loudly and turned back to me. "My mother will love you. She's always hated everyone I brought home. Every girl was after me for my money… my name… anything but me. All the girls were sluts according to her. And here you are… as sweet and innocent as you can be." He laughed again and I felt my face getting warm.

"I'm not that innocent," I protested softly.

Leaning in, his placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "I'm sure you're not. And thankfully, I don't have to worry about any younger brothers here on this island." He squeezed my hand lightly.

"No," I said shaking my head. "No younger one. But I do have an older brother a few tents down who was in the Iraqi Army. That might be a slight problem for you."

The smile fell from his face and I knew he had forgotten about Sayid. "I'm not worried about Sayid," he boasted. "He's distracted by my sister for now. And from personal experience, Shannon can be_ very_ distracting."

"But I'm the little sister that he never met before this month. He'll protect me if you get fresh." I smirked and lay down on the cushions again, folding my hands behind my head, happy to have the upper hand at the moment. "You better watch it Mr. Carlyle."

"Oh really?" He asked in a musical voice, moving towards me very slowly. One leg came around the side of me and he was straddling me. I felt my heart pound heavily against my chest and my cheeks blushed fiery red.

"What…" I coughed, clearing my throat. "What are you doing?"

He smirked and with the speed of lightening, his hands were at my sides, tickling them relentlessly. I screamed, laughed and rolled from side to side, trying to get him to leave me alone. "St…stop! Let me go!" I managed to say through the gasps of breath and the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Kalie?" We froze in the tent, Boone still straddling my waist. "Kalie, are you all right?" The tarp was pulled aside and Sayid stuck his head in, apparently investigating why I was screaming.

His eyes widened when he saw us and if it was even possible, my cheeks burned even hotter than before. Boone moved off my stomach and cleared his throat. "I'm… I'm sorry Sayid. I didn't realize she would scream like that. I was just tick…" he trailed off as his cheeks turned faintly pink.

"We're sorry. I didn't think I was that loud… wow this conversation just gets more and more awkward." I looked away and avoided meeting my brother's eyes. How embarrassing!

"You have no idea." Sayid shook his head and pulled back out of the tent, letting the tarp fall back over the entrance. "Try to keep your voice down. We don't need to frighten anyone else in the camp."

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as we heard his footsteps sink away from us. "I thought you weren't worried about Sayid?" I couldn't help but ask as I lay back on the cushions, rolling onto my side.

"You need to learn to keep your voice down," he whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to go up my spine.

My heart skipped a beat as he lay next to me, curling his body around mine and wrapping his arm around my waist. "Why are you here?" I asked softly, not wanting to ruin the mood, but terribly curious.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No," I protested. "But I'm awfully curious as to why you stay here every night. I know… you had a revelation. I just… why me?"

He sighed next to me and placed a soft kiss on my neck, causing a shiver to run down my spine. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "I really can't say why… you just are fantastic." He kissed my neck again and I heard him smile behind me. "And you _are_ the only one other than Shannon and Claire that's close to my age. Shannon's… and Claire's already taken."

I reached behind me and swatted his leg. "Thank you," I whispered softly. "Thank you for staying with me."

His grip around my waist tightened and he pulled me closer to him. "Don't you worry about a thing. _I will stay with you until we're rescued off this Mystery Island_."

*~*~*

Later the next day, I sat in a corner of the caves, people watching. My mother… adoptive mother… loved to watch people and sometimes we'd sit in the park and just watch. People were very entertaining subjects. Right now, take Nikki for instance; she was wandering around like a lost puppy dog. It was almost pathetic to watch. Scott was trying to carry on a conversation with her, but she was either ignoring him or not paying enough attention to hear him.

Hurley had come around earlier asking about another game of golf and a couple people stood up to follow. Charlie was off on the beach, not quite sure why though. He was babbling something about a diary or journal…

Sayid and Shannon had talked to Jack about maps and some fish song. They didn't interest me much and I didn't want to eavesdrop on Sayid, especially now that we both knew he was my brother. Shannon was now wandering around the caves as well. When she walked past me, she pointedly ignored me, her eyes not even resting on me for a second.

Boone walked into the caves right behind Locke and I stood up to greet him, but Shannon reached him first. I stayed back, not wanting to hear their conversation, trying to keep some things private… that and I didn't want to be accused of anything by Shannon. "He's building a raft… why don't you help me?" I watched her plead, trying to get him to follow her, to do what she wanted again.

"No thanks," he said and handed her a water bottle. I tried to hold back the smile that wanted to escape my lips. He really had changed. Before, he would have done anything she said… anything she asked and now he just shrugged and walked away. "Hey Kay." He walked up to me and kissed my cheek, taking my hand and leading me away from Shannon who was now shooting me death glares.

"Where have you been?" I asked nonchalantly. I didn't want to anger him into helping Shannon with whatever she was going to do.

We sat down by the waterfall and he filled up his bottles, prolonging his answer. I waited patiently, knowing he would give me some answer soon, not that it would be the truth… or would it? "We were…" he trailed off as Michael stormed into the caves.

I turned towards the argument and watched with interest. It wasn't hard to follow, Michael wanted Locke to stay away from Walt, not that I blamed him. Locke was scary, with all his knives and hunting skills, but I knew Boone trusted him and that was good enough for me.

Locke took off a short while later and we followed behind, thankfully not headed to the same place. "I'm going to walk you down to the tent and head back out with John. We think we found some fresh boar tracks this morning and maybe we can catch one."

I eyed him curiously, but kept walking. "Why do I have the feeling you're lying to me?" He stopped and turned to face me, his eyebrows furrowed. "Don't worry; I'm not going to argue with you about it. I'll let you and Locke keep your secrets. I won't tell anyone, I promise." I offered a smile and we started walking again, down the path to my tent.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that rhetorical question." We arrived at my tent and I dropped my pack to the sand. "I'll be back later. Read a little, write some more." He kissed my forehead and smiled my favorite smile.

"Have fun hunting."

"Have fun doing your smart-people things," he said turning and walking back into the jungle on the path we just vacated.

I collapsed down into the sand, kicking off my sandals and stretching my toes in the sand. I sat back on my elbows and closed my eyes. Even though we were stranded here, I had to admit it was fairly peaceful. We had a decent food supply (between fruits, boar and plenty of fish), the weather was pretty good (no major storms and torrential downpours), and it was a deserted island. People spent thousands of dollars to vacation at places like there and here we were, for free.

"What did you do to him?" I opened my eyes to see Shannon standing over me. "Why is he acting so weird?"

I sat up and shrugged my shoulders. "I didn't do anything Shannon. Why don't you talk to him?"

"I've tried, but he won't talk to me. It's like he…" she shook her head and resumed glaring at me. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but he doesn't like you. He can't. He's in love with me." I was just waiting for her to stomp her foot and throw a temper tantrum. It seemed like something she would do when she didn't get her way. She reminded me of Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, rich and prissy.

"Look, I don't know what you think you're accomplishing here, but I'm sure it's not what you intended. I have nothing to do with Boone changing his attitude, so please do not accuse me of such." I paused and took a deep breath, trying to keep my temper in check. "Talk to him if that's what you want. But don't yell at me. I haven't done anything."

After throwing me another glare, she stormed off. Sayid walked past and gave me a confused look but I just shrugged my shoulders. I don't want to be in the middle of this drama. Too bad I already was.

* * *

**AN: And that was chapter 9. What did you think? Also, there's a new Poll posted on my profile to help me with the ending. If you wouldn't mind, please head over there and vote for me.**

**And finally, I wrote a OneShot about the ending of Chapter 6 from Boone's POV. Please check it out, I thought I did a pretty good job capturing his character.**

**As always, I don't own _Lost. _Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	10. Homecoming

**Chapter 10: Homecoming, Day 27-29**

Boone never came back to the tent that night. I would know because I spent most of the night with my eyes open, hearing every stick snap, every breeze blow, and every wave crash. For some reason, I could not get my mind to turn off and my eyes to close. Had I already become accustomed to his presence? Had I already grown so used to him being here, with me, that when he wasn't, I was unable to sleep? If that was the case, this was not a good thing.

"Kalie," Boone said as he walked up to my tent. I had lain back down to rest after the morning ritual. The sun had given me a headache and without the luxury of aspirin, I had to wait it out. I placed one of Boone's tee shirts over my eyes to block out the light and try to sleep. Fortunately, it was one of the ones we had cleaned recently so it didn't smell. "Kalie? Are you awake?" His voiced lowered as he neared the tent.

I sat up and uncovered my eyes, staring into his vivid blue ones. "What's going on?" I asked sleepily, letting my eyes adjust to the bright light. As the light hit my eyes, a sharp pain cut through my head and I winced slightly.

"Are you all right?" He knelt next to me and felt my forehead. "You don't look so well."

Nodding, I tossed the tee shirt off to the side of the tent. "I'm fine, just a headache is all and since there is a shortage of aspirin, I don't want to take any. I'll deal with it. So what's going on?"

"Come with me." Taking my hand, he gently pulled me out of the tent and into the brighter sun.

"Where are we going?"

A few steps away from the tent he turned and faced me with a smile. "We found Claire in the woods."

My jaw fell open and my eyes grew wide. "Is she okay? Is the baby fine? Where is she? What happened? Where has she been?" I fired off questions a mile-a-minute. She had to be okay, right?

"Jack says she seems fine and so does the baby. There's one problem though, she doesn't remember anything. She doesn't remember the plane crash, being here for almost a month, being kidnapped, nothing. The last thing she remembers is being on the plane." He took my hand again and together we began the trek through the jungle to the caves.

"Well, her memory will come back, won't it? It should, shouldn't it?" How awful, to forget everything about the past month including the people you were now living with and near.

"I have no idea Kay. I guess we'll see." We walked another few yards in silence and I worried about Claire. What would happen to her now? Would she ever regain her memory?

The caves slowly came into view and Boone dropped my hand, heading off into the caves and leaving me to stand back. I peered into the caves and heard Boone's laughter from in front of me. "Come on you chicken."

"I don't want her to…" I trailed off; unsure of what exactly I didn't want Claire to do or feel.

I ignored Boone's continued laughter and walked through the entrance of the caves. Claire was sitting by the waterfall. "Hey Claire," I said as I slowly walked up to her. "I'm Kalie."

She looked up and I had hoped her face might show recognition, but no such luck. "Do I know you too? I'm sorry, but I don't remember anyone." She looked almost apologetic; like she was sorry she couldn't remember us.

"It's all right." I sat down on a rock near her, not too close, but close enough that we could talk in normal voices. "I helped you gather names for our memorial service when we burned the fuselage and we went through the suitcases, pulling out any clothes we could use."

I smiled and glanced over at her. "And we chat about Charlie, especially when he's being protective."

"Charlie. He says… we're together."

I laughed and shook my head. "I suppose you could say that. He's practically attached to your hip. He seems like a good guy though. You could do worse." I grinned and a small smile crossed Claire's face.

"There you are Kalie. I was looking for you," Charlie's voice echoed softly through the caves. "Hi Claire. I'm going to borrow Kalie for a moment; I'll bring her right back." He flashed a smile and held out his hand.

I took it and together we walked out of the caves and into the forest. A few yards off the path, he stopped and turned to face me. "Ethan's coming back for her." Charlie's voice shook, in fear or anger I wasn't sure. His eyes were dark, and that scared me.

"What? How do you know that?"

"He… he found me and Jin, in the jungle. He knocked Jin out and… and told me that we needed to hand Claire over or he would kill one of us."

I blinked and my jaw dropped open. "What is everyone doing?"

"They're going to take shifts, and try to catch him. Locke is setting up trip wires with Sayid and Boone. Jack wants to track him, try and catch him that way, but…" he trailed off.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, Charlie was still looking at me. "They won't let him get her Charlie. Claire's fine. Jack, Sayid, Locke… she'll be all right. They'll keep her safe." I paused before asking my next question. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No," he said immediately. "I don't want to worry her. She should concentrate on getting her memory back. I'm going to go back and sit with her; did you want to come with?"

"No, I'm going to go back to the beach. Boone might be back by now; it looks like it's starting to get dark." He nodded and I forced a smile. "She'll be all right. Why wouldn't she be with so many strong men to watch over her?" I took his hand and squeezed it, offering what little comfort I could.

I walked with him to the path, and then walked off in the opposite direction towards the beach while he walked back to the caves. Boone was sitting outside our (no… my?) tent when I arrived. He smiled up at me and I sat next to him. "How's your headache?"

"Still there, but not as bad." I lay down, resting my head in his lap, his upper body blocking out most of the remaining sun. My eyes closed and I felt his fingers running through my hair, massaging my scalp. "You're going to make me fall asleep," I said with a smile.

"Good, you need to sleep." We sat for a few more minutes, his fingers running through my hair, untangling knots, braiding small sections. "I'm going to be gone again tonight," he said softly. "We're taking shifts… apparently Ethan is coming after Claire again."

"I know, Charlie told me." I opened my eyes and sat up, turning my body around to face him. "I figured you'd volunteer for a shift." I smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

He nodded and smiled sadly. "I'd feel much better if you were up at the caves. Sayid already asked Shannon to go up there and I'd like it if you would go too."

"No," I said, shaking my head back and forth. "I'm not leaving. I'll be fine right where I am."

"Kay…"

"No Boone." I gently kissed his lips, loving how soft they were against mine. "I'll be fine with such strong men protecting us." He kissed me again and pulled me close for a hug. "Be careful Boone," I whispered in his ear, holding him tightly to me.

His lips brushed my ear, "if you need anything…"

"I'll go find someone. There are still plenty of people around here." We separated and I smiled up at him again. "Go, I'll be fine right here. Maybe tonight I'll actually be able to sleep."

"Did you not sleep last night?"

I shook my head slowly, "no. I think I've grown far too used to you being here." My cheeks blushed and I looked away, embarrassed by the truth.

"I'll be back tomorrow night, I promise." He kissed my forehead and stood up. "I'll be back in the morning."

I watched him walk down the beach towards the jungle. It had been a while, but I said a silent prayer for Claire's safety, for Boone's and everyone else that was going to be keeping watch over us.

The night passed slowly as I lie awake in the tent. My eyes stayed focused on the holes in the tarp that let the moonlight though. It was so nice to see stars. Living in the city, you only saw the bright ones but here, here all the stars were visible and I could finally make out the constellations I learned about in Astronomy class.

A loud scream from down the beach jerked me awake from a sleep I hadn't realized I fell into. I yanked a tee shirt over my head, crawled out of the tent and looked around. People were gathered a short way down the beach so I walked down to them as quick as I could in the sinking sand. "How did he get past us?" I heard someone say as I got closer.

Sayid, Locke and Boone were kneeling next to a body in the sand. I stood in the small circled around them and looked down at the person. It was Scott, one of the men who helped me drag bamboo to set up my new tent after our camp had been washed away. Boone looked up and met my eyes and I held the gaze for a few seconds, but I had to look away. This was too real, too close to home. Scott's tent was only a few yards away from me. The person lying dead on the beach could have been me, it could have been any one of us.

I moved away from the crowd, up the beach towards Kate and Hurley. "I thought they had the perimeter covered?" Hurley asked staring as Boone, Locke and Sayid carried Scott's body in a tarp up the beach.

"Locke said it didn't matter. He came in through the water." I looked over at Kate, wondering why she didn't sound more frightened.

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked, but Kate only shrugged and Hurley shook his head.

"Well, I guess old Steve drew the short straw," Sawyer said unfeelingly as he walked up to our small group.

Hurley looked up, appalled. "Dude, that was Scott," he said and turned to walk away.

I walked the beach, trying to keep my mind occupied when only a short while down the beach, people were digging a grave for our first resident in the cemetery. Sayid came to get me a short while later and walked me to the gravesite.

Hurley stood at the foot of the new grave while the rest of the survivors gathered around. "Scott Jackson worked for an internet company in Santa Cruz. He won a sales prize, two week vacation to Australia, all expenses paid. He was a good guy. Sorry I kept calling you Steve." He paused, "Amen I guess. I never know how to end these…"

I moved closer to Sayid and his arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. I shut my eyes as the tears came. His hand rubbed my arm gently and I felt his lips on my forehead. "Come on Kalie. Let us go back to your shelter." I let myself be led down the beach and didn't look around to see if Boone was following us or not. "I think you need to caves today and tonight, maybe even until we catch Ethan."

"No. Boone tried that last night. I'm not going anywhere. You might be able to convince Shannon, but I'm not leaving." I sounded more confident than I felt and that scared me. I had never been very good at lying.

Sayid nodded, "all right then. I will not argue a losing battle."

"Thank you. I promise to stay here and not go wandering off. I won't leave the tent for the rest of the day or tonight."

"All right. Be safe." He kissed my forehead and left me alone. No one else had returned from the makeshift funeral yet so I was alone on the sand.

I stayed at my tent for the remainder of the day, watching people walk back and forth going about their business as normal as possible. I wrote in my journal, watched the clouds in the sky and listened to the waves crash against the shoreline. It was a very uneventful afternoon and I welcomed it gladly.

The sun had just started to set when Boone came up to the tent. "I promised I'd stay with you tonight," he said with a small smile.

I looked up from the lined pages and into his brilliant blue eyes. "I thought you would be with the search party. That's far more important than a promise to me."

"They don't need me, you do. There are five people going into the jungle to watch Claire be bait. I don't know how to fire a gun, so that leaves me out." He sat down next to me and I closed the journal, placing it to the side.

"What does knowing how to fire a gun have to do with anything? We don't have any guns."

"We do now," he said simply. Where did we get guns from?

I shook my head and leaned into him, thankful I wouldn't be sleeping alone for the third night in a row. "You don't need to be with Shannon? I'm sure she needs protecting more than I do…" I trailed off at the look he shot me.

"When will you understand that you are important to me? I don't want to be with Shannon. She's up at the caves surrounded by dozens of people. You however, refuse to leave the beach."

"I guess I'm not used to having someone care about me like that," I said softly.

His arm wrapped around me and his cheek rested on the top of my head. "Well you will just have to get used to that. Because I don't plan on leaving anytime soon."

The sky turned from red and yellow to blue and purple as the sun set in the sky. Boone held me close to his side, my breathing slowing to match his. I let my eyes close and a smile crossed my face. "Why are you smiling?" He asked softly, his fingers beginning their trailing across my arm and shoulder.

"I'm happy I suppose. Is that odd? When we crashed here, I didn't think I'd ever be happy until we were rescued. But I was certainly wrong."

"Don't worry; we'll be rescued soon. They have to find us. Michael will get the raft going and they'll sail off to wherever and send help." He kissed the top of my head and lightly squeezed my shoulder.

"What will we do once we're rescued?"

"Go back to our lives. Take a hot shower, wear clothes cleaned with soap," he said and I swatted his arm.

I shook my head and sighed. "No, I mean… what will _we_ do once we're rescued? What's going to happen to us?"

There was a pause and the only things heard were the birds in the trees and the water in the ocean. "What would you like to do once we're rescued?"

"No," I said shaking my head and sitting up. I rested my head on my arm and looked him in the eyes. "I asked you first. What's going to happen? I don't think I can live in California."

"New York is nice. I've lived there before." He kissed my nose and lay back down. "How about we worry about this once we're rescued? Let's go to sleep and talk about this tomorrow." I nodded and laid back down, inhaling deeply and stretching out.

Boone's scent filled my nostrils and relaxed me almost immediately. I let my eyes close and listened to the sounds of our current home.

I had no idea that deep in the jungle, Charlie was committing an act of horror.

* * *

**AN: I'm so sorry for the delay in updating! For some reason, this was a difficult chapter to write. This was supposed to be posted Wednesday as a birthday gift to myself, but no such luck. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	11. Terrifying Nightmares

**Chapter 11: Terrifying Nightmares, Day 32-34**

_I was walking up the front steps to our house. Daddy wasn't home from work yet and Ashton was still at school. James' car was in the driveway, but that didn't mean he was home. He tended to drop it off then head out with some of his friends._

_After turning the key in the lock, the door swung open and I stepped inside. It was a beautiful, warm spring day and I kept the storm door stay open to let the warm breeze through the house. "James! James are you home?" I called, dropping my purse onto the couch. "James!"_

_I peered up the staircase to see if a light was on in his room, but there wasn't. There were no sounds in the house, other than my footsteps on the wooden floors. I walked through the kitchen, dining room and family room and wound up at the bathroom. Oddly, the door was shut. I tapped on the door, checking to see if my brother was in there and just didn't hear me call. "James? Are you in there?" _

_When no one answered, I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. There was my brother… in the…_

"Hey, 'Li! 'Li, wake up! Kalie!" I sat up straight on my bed of plane cushions, screaming. My heart was pounding and my breathing heavy. I could feel a layer of sweat on my forehead and face.

I felt someone take my hands and turn my face so that my eyes met theirs. "Boone," I whispered and he nodded.

"Are you all right? You started screaming…" His stared at me, his eyes full of worry.

I couldn't trust my voice with speaking, so I shook my head; no, I wasn't all right. He pulled me to him, holding me close to his chest and stroking my hair. "Shh, it's okay Kalie. It was only a nightmare. Nothing's here."

"Boone? Kalie? Is everything okay? We heard screaming." I heard Sayid's voice just outside my tent and the tears welled in my eyes again.

"Yes Sayid, she just had a nightmare. I've got her." Boone kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth.

I heard a sigh of relief from outside the tent flap. "If you need me, come get me," Sayid said before walking back down the beach. I wondered how many other people had heard me scream and I was surprised more people hadn't come to check. Maybe they were just sound sleepers, or they let Sayid deal with it.

My tears fell down my cheeks and against his bare chest. Every time I shut my eyes, I saw him: James lying in the tub, a pool of blood around him. I heard a sob and it took a moment to realize that I made the sound.

"Kalie," Boone whispered, his fingers still running through my hair. "It was just a nightmare." His voice was soft and comforting. Gradually, I felt my heartbeat slow and my breathing return to normal. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head and kept it down, resting my cheek against his chest. "Come here." He gently moved me and together, we lay back down on the plane cushions. I curled up next to him, my right arm around his neck and the other clutched by my side. His fingers trailed up and down my arm, lightly grazing my skin. I held tightly onto him, letting the memory of my nightmare dull and hopefully fade away.

"It's all right. I'm here," he whispered into the top of my head.

I let him rock me back and forth, holding me tightly to him, kissing me softly. "I found my brother," I whispered after a few minutes. "He killed himself and I found him. I was on Spring Break and came home from lunch with a friend. He was in the bathtub…" I trailed off as the sobs broke free with the tears.

"Oh Kalie. I'm so sorry." He squeezed me lightly and began rubbing my back with his fingers. "I'm so sorry Kalie," he whispered. "That's what your nightmare was about?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling of his fingers running through my hair and across my back. I tried to block out the images of James' bloody…

Somehow, I drifted back off to sleep because when I awoke the next morning, Boone's arms were still wrapped around me, but there was a blanket covering us. I shifted on the cushions and lifted my head. Boone's bright blue eyes were staring at me. "Good morning," he whispered. "Feel better?" His eyes were full of concern and worry.

"Not really, but I'm okay," I whispered and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry." Sitting up, I wiped my eyes trying to get the feeling of the dried salt water out of them.

"For what?"

"For scaring you last night. I've never had a nightmare about that before." I looked away and down at the cushions that made up our bed.

Boone sat up and took my hands in his. "I was more worried than scared. You screamed and I swear I jumped three feet in the air. I tried to shake you awake, but your eyes just wouldn't open.

"Are you sure you're all right? I can stay here with you if you want. John will be fine on his own today."

I shook my head slowly. "No, go. I'll be fine. I just need to go wash up and change clothes. Once I get the cobwebs out of my head I'll be good."

"You're sure?" He eyed me warily. "I don't mind staying."

"Go. Please. I want to talk to Sayid anyway." I tried to smile, but I'm not sure how successful I was.

He nodded, the worried look not leaving his eyes. "I'll try and come back early today, so you won't be alone."

"Boone, don't. Do like you normally would. Go wander the forest with John and come back late tonight. I'll be fine, I promise." I kissed his cheek and crawled out of the tent.

I left him looking out the front of the tent and walked up the beach towards the caves. I avoided everyone's eyes, not wanting to see the concern that probably rested there. Halfway there, I stopped and turned around, walking in the opposite direction through the sand towards Sayid.

"Sayid, can I talk to you?" I asked, walking up to his shelter. Thankfully, he was alone; Shannon was off somewhere else.

He looked up from his maps and smiled. I loved how he was always happy to see me, even if I bothered him while he was working. "Of course. But before we talk," he paused, "how are you?"

I smiled, easier than I expected and sat down next to him. "I'm fine. It was just a really, really bad nightmare. I fell back to sleep and now it's just flashes. I barely remember it." _Liar,_ I thought, _you remember everything. Every step, movement, sound…_

"You scared me. I had no idea what was going on." He reached out and took my hand, gently squeezing it between his rough hands. "It was very good that Boone was there."

I nodded and tried to swallow the lump that had risen in my throat. "I'm sorry for scaring you." My voice sounded harsh and I tried to clear my throat.

"Do not worry about it." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well," I started, happy my voice sounded somewhat close to normal this time. "I was wondering if we could talk about Boone."

"What about him?" Sayid pushed the papers into a pile and moved them away from him, giving me his full attention.

I looked away, avoiding meeting his eyes. "I was wondering what you thought about it. I'm wondering if we're moving too fast. I mean, I barely know him and he's spending the night with me."

He paused, and I glanced over at him. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes, but…" I trailed off, unsure of what my point was going to be.

"Sometimes, in extreme situations, it is understandable to feel a special connection with someone. Take us for instance. You barely know me, yet are comfortable talking to me about these things. Have you spoken with him about this?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not sure how to bring up the subject…" I trailed off and took in a deep breath. "I'm scared that once we're rescued, I'll never see him again and he won't want anything to do with me. We live on separate sides of the country. I won't be comfortable in California."

"These are all things you need to talk with him about. I'm happy that you are comfortable speaking with me about this, but this is a matter between you and him. If you care about him and him about you, you can make it work."

I stayed with Sayid for much of the day, sitting in silence as he worked. He poured over the maps and documents, seeking something in their strangeness. I walked away a few hours later after kissing his cheek and telling him I'd be back.

Kate was up at the caves by Jack and I stopped to talk to them. Claire still had very little memory of her life here before she was kidnapped, but she was a bit better at conversing now. Charlie was still attached at her hip.

The sun had set, but the light from the fires was strong enough that I could still see to get back to my hut. I stared out over the ocean, watching the waves crash together and against the shore.

The nightmare from the previous night was still stuck with me. It subsided throughout the day while I talked with Sayid and Kate, but now that I was alone, it was coming back. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, salty and wet. I missed my brother. He hadn't even been gone a year yet and I missed him… so much.

I blinked as something was held in front of my gaze. I looked up and around quickly and smiled. Boone was holding a bright pink flower in front of my face. "Thank you," I whispered. Reaching up a hand, I wiped the tears from my eyes as he sat down. "It's beautiful."

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "Did you have an okay day?"

"Yes," I said nodding. "I talked with Sayid and Kate, helped Michael gather a few more things for the raft.

"That's good. It sounds like you weren't bored." We fell into silence as we watched the warm water. "Hey, let's go back to camp. You've got to be tired."

I let him take my arm and help me up. His arm stayed wrapped around my waist as we walked through the sand. He pulled the tarp aside and let me crawl in. After pulling off my tee-shirt, I lay down on the plane cushions and he did the same.

Turning towards him, I wrapped my arm around his chest. I let my head rest on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around me. I loved the feeling of being held, especially by him.

His scent hit my nostrils and I couldn't help but smile. It was a warm smell, of leaves, dirt and sweat. My eyes closed as he kissed the top of my head. I cleared my mind, thinking only of the moment at hand and let myself relax.

I awoke a short while later to yelling and running past the tent. I peered out and saw people running down the beach towards a giant fireball. The raft.

Shaking Boone's shoulders, I grabbed my tee-shirt and pulled it over my head. "Boone, wake up! Wake up!" I shook him again and this time his eyes opened slightly.

"Whas' goin' on?" He asked groggily.

"The raft is on fire! Come on!" That certainly got his attention. He pulled his tee-shirt off the top of my suitcase and followed me out of the tent.

I jumped up, tripped over my feet, and raced down to the fire. Several people were already there, tossing sand onto the flames. I joined in, digging my hands into the sand and tossing handfuls onto the flames nearest me.

"No. No, no, no!" Michael screamed, running up to the raft. He too dug his hands into the cold sand and scooped up handfuls. The sand did very little, only causing the flames to flicker before returning at full force.

He paused after a moment and turned away from the flames. "Where is he? Where is he?" He asked angrily, walking up the beach. I turned around to see who he was yelling at. Sun was standing up next to Kate, a look of horror on her face. "Where the hell is he?"

"Come on," said a voice behind me, pulling on my arm. I turned towards the voice, Boone. "You don't need to be here."

"No, the raft…" I gestured towards the fireball that had engulfed our only hope of rescue.

He shook his head and pulled my arm again. "There's nothing we can do right now. Come on." He gently pulled my arm again and this time I followed, my eyes still fixed on the hot, flaming mess of bamboo and metal. All the hope I had gathered, hoping for the raft to float away and for them to find help, all the positive thoughts vanished from my mind.

What was going to happen now? How badly was the raft burned? Could it be fixed? I let myself be led away from the flames and the ensuing argument between Michael and Sun.

Boone and I walked down the beach towards my… our (?) tent. I crawled inside, thankful for not having to deal with the fire. Yes, I was being selfish, but the day was tough enough to get though without having to deal with a fight between Michael and Jin.

After placing a kiss on my forehead, Boone went outside to help put out the closest fire. I didn't want to be alone, but I wasn't going to cling to him like a small child either. I was nineteen years old; I didn't need to act like a baby.

I drifted in and out of sleep, faintly hearing voices outside the tent. I thought I made out Boone's and possibly Sayid's.

"I was extending a courtesy, not asking your permission," I heard Sayid say. "I could give you a warning against spending time with Kalie, but I will not." I struggled to keep my eyes open, to concentrate on the voices. I didn't like hearing my name in this conversation. Sayid barely knew me and he shouldn't say a word about me and Boone. I spoke to him in confidence earlier… not for him to go off and try to interfere.

"Look, my sister likes older guys, guys that can take care of her… she'll move on. When she does, don't take it personally man." I could make out the calm in Boone's voice, and it confused me. Normally he's be arguing, getting into a fight over Shannon, but now he spoke calmly and sure of himself. Our small section of beach grew quiet and I tried to hear if anything else was being said.

When my eyes opened the next morning I glanced around the tent, I was alone. I wandered up to the caves to wash up, hoping to see Boone on the way, but no luck. He was no where to be found.

The hours melted into the next, and days blended together. I never knew what time it was or when it was. I had a basic idea; I knew we had been here for about 34 days and that it was sometime in late October. Halloween would be coming soon, and the college semester would be in full swing.

It was peaceful once again on our tropical island. The fights over for now and hopefully for good, but I knew that would be asking far too much. It seemed everyone had fought with everyone else.

I looked around, up and down the beach. Jin was helping Michael build a new raft, a better raft. Charlie and Claire were having dinner by the shore. Sun was standing in the water, letting the warm waves wash over her. Behind me, Shannon and Sayid were sharing a small pile of fruit. And I was sitting alone on the sand.

In my opinion, everything was perfect. Little did I know that in a few short days, my whole world would change… and not for the better.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter deals with the adult theme of suicide that is very near to my heart. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-TALK).

On a positive note, I have always loved the scene at the end of "...In Translation" where we see eveyone on the beach and I had to add it to this chapter. Thank you for reading and thank you to the 3 people who reviewed the last chapter!


	12. Visions and Grief

**Chapter 12: Visions and Grief, Day 39**

I crawled to the back of the tent and pulled the black cloth case from underneath a pile of clothes. I hadn't practiced in days and my violin teacher would kill me, but it was difficult to practice when I didn't want to disturb the people around me. Who really wanted to listen to a girl hack away at the same section of much for an hour? Opening the case, I gently pulled out the bow and instrument, quickly tuning the strings. The humidity was doing nothing for keeping the strings in tune.

Placing the bow on the G string, I quickly ran through a few easy scales, shifting quickly up the neck. After a few warm-ups, I pulled my current piece out of the music folder. I fumbled through the first few measures and managed to find my rhythm, flying through the remainder of the piece without stopping too many times.

I scanned over the measures to find my trouble spot, going back and playing through the sixteenth and thirty-second notes slowly, forcing my fingers to do what I wanted. "What are you doing?" A voice asked softly from behind me.

A smile formed on my face as soon as I heard the first word. "I'm practicing. How long have you been sitting there?" I turned back and my smile widened.

Boone was sitting just outside the tent, kneeling in the sand. His eyes were sparkling and I shook my head at the sight. "Long enough to know that you are amazing." My cheeks blushed bright pink and I looked away, back at my music. "Play me something," he said softly.

"What would you like to hear?" I glanced back at him, resting my bow on my leg.

"Oh, I don't know. Anything you can think of." He crawled into the tent and sat by the door, his eyes fixed on me.

Turning back to my instrument, I closed the music book and my eyes. Lifting it up to my shoulder, I placed the bow on the string and pulled it across. After playing a few random notes, I let the music turn into "Ashokan Farewell," a beautiful fiddle tune composed in 1982. I let the melody flow through me and through my fingers onto the violin.

When I finished, I lowered the violin and turned my body around to face my audience. "That was beautiful," Boone whispered.

I loosened the bow, took off the shoulder rest and placed both into the case. When I turned back, Boone was right in front of me. He took my hand, held it tightly between his and smiled. "You are…" he trailed off and I blushed again, embarrassed by the praise.

"I practice a lot at home. I avoid the parties on campus and practice. Music helps me cope, helps me deal with James and the whole situation. It lets me escape for a little while." This was something I hadn't told anyone except Valerie, my roommate. But then again, I also hadn't told many people about James either.

"Well once we're rescued, I will have to get you to socialize more." He smiled my favorite smile and pulled me towards him, holding me closet to his chest.

I laughed and shook my head. "Come on, I need to find something to eat. And don't you need to be off searching the jungle with Locke?"

"Yeah, probably. Let's go find you some fruit." He took my hand and together we crawled out of the tent.

The walk to the jungle was a short one, and my eyes scanned the tree line for any pieces of edible fruit. We had picked most of the close trees clean, and had to now venture inward to find any ripe fruit. I tried not to think about what would happen if our fruit supply ran out. What would we do?

Boone pointed up and my eyes followed his finger. Near the top of one of the closest trees was a mess of coconuts. "Do you want to climb up, or shall I?" I asked, turning to face him.

With his eyebrows raised, Boone glanced up the tree then back at me. "I'll give you a lift and you can climb. You're much smaller than me."

"Yes I'm sure that's it," I said with a smirk. He knelt down next to the tree and cupped his hands. Placing my hand on his shoulder I nestled one foot in his hands and grabbed hold of the tree. Slowly, I felt myself being raised upward.

I grabbed hold of the branch above me and pulled myself up, climbing into the tree. Little by little, I brought my legs up and began to climb up the tree towards the coconuts. I grabbed one and tossed it down to Boone waiting below. "How many do you want?" I called down to him, tossing another coconut.

"Get four, we can bring a two to Shannon and Sayid," he yelled back, holding his hands out to catch the falling fruit.

I picked two more off the tree, tossed them down, and then I swung my leg around the branch and began the climb downward. If someone had told me even six months ago that I would be climbing trees to pick coconuts I would have laughed at them without another thought. It goes to show you how quickly your life can change.

As I made my way from branch to branch, I looked out over the trees. Birds fluttered around the branches and leaves, chirping as they went. After a quick glance down, I let go of the tree and dropped down the ground below. Surprisingly, I landed on my feet, very impressive for a girl who doesn't spend much time outdoors.

Boone picked up the coconuts and handed me two. "Thanks, I'll let you drop them off with…" I trailed off, as my eyes caught sight of a figure in the trees. I stared and blinked, quite certain my eyes were playing tricks on me. But no, the person, man, was still standing there.

I let the coconuts drop to the ground and walked forwards, towards the figure. "Kalie, where are you going?" I faintly heard Boone ask, but I didn't respond.

My legs moved faster, towards the person who had turned and was now walking through the jungle. "Hey! Hey you there!" I called loudly, and the person stopped, turning around to face me.

It was my brother. "James?" I asked timidly, terrified at the sight. He looked just like he always had: messy brown hair, sparkling brown eyes and wearing his favorite jeans and shirt. "James?"

This time when I spoke, he vanished into thin air. My eyes stayed fixed on the spot where my deceased younger brother had just stood. There was no one standing in front of me when Boone finally caught up a few minutes later. "Kalie! Why did you run away?"

I walked a few steps further into the jungle, searching the spot for any trace of him, but found none. "I… I saw my brother. I know I did!" I said softly; still not believe it could be true.

"Your brother? How is that possible?" Boone's arm wrapped around me and began slowly leading me back to where we had dropped our fruit.

"It's not. He's dead. Has been for almost a year."

We walked in silence and when we arrived at the base of the tree, Boone picked up two of the coconuts and handed them to me. "Come on; let's go back to camp."

I followed him mechanically back to the tents. I saw James, I know I did. I called to him and he turned. But he vanished, like he wasn't there in the first place. How could that be possible?

But I know I saw him, I'm positive of it.

Boone sat me down by the tent and then left to give Shannon and Sayid the coconuts we picked for them. When he returned, he sat next to me while I thought.

"I saw James," I said, turning to face him. "I saw him... here!"

Boone cocked his head to one side and stared at me with a look that only showed pity. "You just think you saw him. It was probably just your eyes playing tricks on you. You've been out in the sun too long."

I was stunned. I thought of all people, Boone might believe me. "You don't believe me?" I asked rather stupidly.

"I think you wanted to see him and your mind made that image appear. But was he really there? No."

"I saw him Boone. I called out to him and he turned. It was James, I know it." I stood up and faced him.

Boone shook his head and frowned. "No you didn't."

"You didn't see," I exclaimed loudly. "You didn't see him!"

"You didn't either! You're brother is not on this island. It's impossible!" Boone yelled back at me and I cringed. He had never yelled at me before.

"I saw him. I don't care if you believe me or not." I stormed off through the trees, letting the branches and leaves scratch at my arm.

Boone yelled after me, but I ignored him. I ran, tripping over branches and rocks, catching my long hair on twigs and leaves. I'm not sure where I ended up, but it was far from where I started.

I stopped running and looked around me. Lost, dazed and confused, I collapsed onto a large boulder and tried to catch my breath. Boone didn't believe me, which wasn't that surprising. If I hadn't seen it myself, I wouldn't have believed it either.

My brother, my baby brother that I held hours after he was born, killed himself and now was appearing on Mystery Island. How can this be? Am I really going crazy? No. I wasn't crazy, I saw him as clear as I see the leaves in front of me.

Maybe he could hear me. Maybe he could hear my apology, hear the pain in my voice. Maybe he could hear the pain I feel every time I think about him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the trees and to him if he was listening. "I know it's not my fault you did it, but I can't stop thinking that it is. If only I hadn't gone to lunch with Heather, you'd still be here. If I had come home earlier… Hell, if…" my voice fell as the sobs grew louder.

"I was your sister! You could have talked to me if you were having a problem; I promise I would have listened! If you didn't want to talk to Dad, you could have talked to me! I listen to Lou's problems all the time and he's not my brother!

"I'm sorry I didn't notice anything was wrong. Maybe if I had… Why James? Why?" The tears cascaded down my cheeks and onto my filthy jeans. I needed this. After the funeral, I returned to school and practiced as hard as I could. I wrote both my papers in record time. I never grieved. After the funeral, no more tears fell; my eyes were dry.

"I'm sorry James. I'm so, so sorry." I cried and cried, salt water drying on my cheeks and in my eyes, my nose alternating between running and stopping up. But I cried like I hadn't cried since my mom was killed.

*~*~*

It was late when I returned to the camp that night and Boone was sitting outside, playing with one of Locke's knives. "You shouldn't play with knives, you might hurt yourself," I said softly, my voice rough from crying the whole afternoon.

He looked up quickly, his eyes filled with relief. "I was wondering when you were going to come back. Locke, Sayid and I were going to go looking for you in the morning if you hadn't shown up."

I nodded and sat down near him, not right next to him, but close enough. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "It was wrong of me to wander off."

"Don't apologize. I didn't believe you and I should have."

I shook my head slowly, but kept my eyes fixed on my lap. "You don't believe me… its fine. I don't want you to humor me."

"Kay," he said softly. "I want you to trust me and in order for that to happen, I have to trust you." My eyes closed and I nodded to myself. I felt his fingers wrap around mine, his rough and dirty while mine were rough and clean. "I know you saw something and whether that was your brother or not, I shouldn't have said what I did."

He moved closer to me and his hand came up. I felt my face tilted towards his and opened my eyes. "Like I've said before, we're going to be stuck here for a little while. I want to get to know you better and we have plenty of time." Boone leaned towards me and gently pressed his lips to mine.

"Come on; let's head to bed." I nodded and let myself be pulled towards the tent. He lay down on our makeshift bed and I let my head rest on his shoulder. I was content to stay in this position, in this moment forever.

* * *

**AN: And that was chapter 12. I'm not so fond of it, but that's just me. **

**I'm thinking that the 'death' chapter will be split into two chapters... possibly. I'm in the process of rewriting the chapter now as I'm not too happy with how the first draft turned out. As usual, I don't own anything you recognize. Please leave a review on your way out!**

**Oh, also: I closed the poll. The winner was: Kalie stays alive and remains on the island through Season 5. Which is good, because I started writing those chapters already! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	13. Dying Sucks Pt 1

**Chapter 13: Dying Sucks Pt. 1, Day 40-41**

I woke up the some time in the middle of the night with a smile on my face. Boone was still lying next to me, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. The images from yesterday were barely a memory in my mind and for the first time since before my brother died, I wasn't worried or scared about it. I was finally okay with myself and what happened.

I rolled over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He barely stirred so I took a moment to look down at him. My fingers brushed some dirt off his forehead as I smiled. He looked so handsome, even in his sleep. I couldn't believe he wanted me. I couldn't understand why he would want to be with me. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy to have him around. I just didn't understand why.

The next thing I knew, someone was shaking Boone's arm and in turn, mine. "Boone!" A voice whispered urgently. "Boone, wake up."

"What?" I heard Boone mumble and I cracked my eyes open to see what was going on. "What time is it?"

"It's morning." Locke was kneeling over us, trying to pull Boone to his feet. "Come on."

"All right, all right. I'm up." I sat up as Locke walked away. Boone turned to me and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. "Go back to sleep. I'll try to come back early today." He kissed me again and smiled. "Sleep 'Li."

I nodded and laid back down, smiling as I looked up at him, into his beautiful blue eyes. "Be careful."

"I'm always careful," he said, smiling my favorite smile. And then he was gone. My eyes closed and I fell right back to sleep.

*~*~*

The second time I woke up, it was bright and sunny. I smiled at the sun and at the beautiful view in front of me. I was in a good mood and today would be a good day.

I walked down the beach towards Sayid's hut where he was sitting alone, which wasn't a common occurrence as of late. "Good morning," I called cheerily.

"Good morning Kalie. You are in a bright mood this morning," he paused and the smile on his face fell slightly. "Boone found me last night, worried. I am glad to see you are back here safe and sound."

I looked down at the sand and nodded. "I… I needed to get away and deal with a few things. And it helped, a lot." I sat down next to him, peeking over at what he was doing. "What are you doing exactly?"

He laughed and picked up the two pairs of eyeglasses. "Sawyer is farsighted and needs glasses. Jack asked me to solder these two pairs together for him."

I raised my eye brow at the combination of the two pairs. One eye looked like a normal pair of glasses Sawyer might wear, plain black rims; the other was very 1970's secretary with white beads and all. "Well… it's not the greatest fashion statement."

"Yes, you are right. But if it clears up his headaches, I'm sure he will be fine." Sayid put the glasses on the table and turned to face me. "Now, we have not talked in days. Are you sure everything is all right?"

Nodding, I forced a smile that wasn't completely forced. "I'm fine, really." I paused for a moment, debating telling him about the situation yesterday. "I thought I saw my brother in the jungle yesterday. My brother killed himself almost a year ago. So needless to say, I was a bit spooked."

Sayid sat and didn't comment while I told him about my vision and why I ventured into the jungle by myself. "You are nineteen years old. I will not tell you what you should be doing. But please," he pulled my hands to his lap and held them tightly. My eyes fixed on his and I saw how worried he truly was. "Please do not do that again. Boone is not the only person on this island that cares for you. Please promise me that you will not venture into that strange jungle alone."

I smiled and nodded. "I promise. I'll only go off the path if someone else is with me. That someone of course being you or Boone."

Sayid squeezed my hands again then released them. "Good. I do not want to have to be an unpleasant older brother."

"You don't have to worry about that. You don't scare me," I teased with a laugh. And he didn't. "Well I should be off. I need to fill my water bottles up at the caves. And I should probably wash a few of Boone's shirts. They're starting to make the tent smell."

"Take care Kalie. Come by more often to talk. I miss seeing you." Sayid smiled at me and I immediately felt happy again.

"I will. Bye," I said, waving as I turned to walk away.

I made my way down the beach and back to our tent. 'Our tent' had a much nicer sound that just 'my tent.' I picked up the empty water bottles, but left the shirts. My good mood was too good to waste on washing those smelly shirts. I'd do them in the morning.

"Hey Kalie," a voice yelled from behind me.

I turned around and grinned. "Hi Charlie! How's Claire doing?"

"She's good. Slowly getting her memories back. She remembered the peanut butter." His face broke out into a large grin. "You heading up to the caves? Mind if I walk with you?"

"Oh of course not! I could definitely use some company." Charlie took a few of the water bottles out of my hands and together we journeyed into the jungle of trees.

The walk was never a long one, but when you have someone to talk to, it goes by twice as fast. "Will you need help carrying these back?" Charlie asked as he deposited the bottles by my feet at the waterfall.

"No, thank you. That's why I brought my small pack. Go talk to Claire. Tell her I said hi." I uncapped the first bottle and pressed it into the water, letting it fill up.

Charlie waved and walked away, letting me sit by the waterfall in peace. Jack and Kate were talking about Sawyer and his glasses. Julianne was down by the entrance to the caves talking with Chris. People were happy, people were safe. We didn't have any worries at the moment, nothing major anyway.

It was too bad I thought too soon.

"Jack," a voice yelled, nearly screaming. My eyes flicked up and I dropped the water bottle in my hand. Locke was carrying Boone. "There was an accident. He fell from a cliff."

My heart stopped. I couldn't move as he was laid down on extra seat cousins. It took a few minutes to force my body to move; to force my legs to carry me to his lifeless form.

"Tell me exactly what happened," Jack said, running up the stone steps to the medical cart. "Locke," Jack yelled and I pulled my eyes from Boone's mangled body. John Locke had disappeared.

Jack and Sun were racing around; Kate was holding a shirt down on his chest, trying to stop the blood while Sun rummaged through the medical cart trying to find supplies.

"Boone," I whispered, terrified at what I was seeing. His chest was ripped open, slashes cutting across from one side to the other. His face was bloody as were his arms. His right leg was broken, at least as far as I could tell. What had happened?

"Kate! Run to the beach and ransack Sawyer's stuff. I need his alcohol… rubbing, scotch. Go Kate, go!"

I knelt down next to Boone's body and took his hand carefully. "Kalie! You need to step back. Now!" Jack yelled at me and I jumped, dropping Boone's hand and stepping back a few paces.

"Why's he gasping like that? Jack what's going on?" Kate asked, her voice shaking with fear, echoing how my insides felt.

"His lung just collapsed. Okay." I stifled a scream and covered my mouth with my hand, biting down on my knuckles. Jack stabbed a needle into Boone's chest and a burst of air escaped, allowing him to breathe. "Okay, okay. Good Boone. Good, Boone, that's good. Good job. All right, a little bit of tube in that and you're going to be just fine." He rummaged through the medical cart and pulled out tubing. When he turned back, he met Kate's eyes. "What are you still doing here? The alcohol, Kate. You want him to live? Get to the beach, now!"

I stayed in my spot off to the side, watching intently, my eyes wide. A small piece of tubing was then stuck into his chest, allowing him to continue to breathe. "My leg. My leg hurts," he whispered, his lips chapped and bloody. My heart broke as he winced in pain and struggled to breathe in fresh oxygen.

Jack ripped the pants leg of Boone's right leg and examined the bruised and bloody mess. "It's a closed fracture. I can set it," Jack said softly.

"His chest. The wound, can you… sew him?" Sun's broken English pulled me from my haze, forcing my eyes to look down at his ripped and torn chest.

Jack moved up to Boone's head. "He's lost a lot of blood and we're not sure how far Locke had to carry him." He paused for a moment, taking a quick look over Boone's face. "Boone," Jack said, turning his head so that he was looking in his eyes. "Boone you are not going to die. I'm going to save you."

I stayed back, watching the scene from a few feet away. How could this be happening? How could a wonderful morning and afternoon turn into this? Boone was going to come back early. We were going to spent the evening together.

I moved back to sit by Boone's side. I took his hand as Jack threaded a needle and began sewing the gaping hole in Boone's chest. I didn't want to look as Jack stitched his chest back together, so I kept my eyes focused on Boone's closed ones.

"I'm sorry," Boone whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"Blood. He needs blood." Jack bent his head down and closed his eyes. "He needs a transfusion."

Sun looked up at the doctor, her face shocked. "How will you do that?"

Jack's shoulders shrugged. "I don't know. I'll figure it out after I set his leg."

"Let me. Go get some air." When Sun walked by, she gently squeezed one of my shoulders, offering me a small bit of comfort.

"No, I'm fine," Jack insisted, running his hands through his hair.

Sun shook her head. "No. Let me." Jack glanced back at Boone's form and nodded, walking outside the tent with Charlie following close behind.

I held tightly to Boone's hand, praying as fast as I could. _Please Lord. Please help him. Take away his pain, help him through this. Keep him safe for me._

Sun walked out of the tent, leaving me to look around nervously. What if something happened while they were away? I was a music student, not a nursing student. All I was able to do was put a band-aid on a cut, and I even messed that up at times.

Jack returned a few minutes later. "I'm going to set his leg, and it's going to hurt. You might want to let go of his hand."

I looked up at Jack, their only doctor. "I can't," I whispered, my voice unable to speak at a normal level.

He froze on the spot, and then nodded as Sun walked back into the make-shift ER, "here, give him this for the pain." In her hand she held a small stick-like object.

"I think we're beyond herbal remedies." Jack shook his head and his voice had a hint of sarcasm to it.

"This is not a remedy." She walked to the head of the makeshift cot and placed the stick between his teeth, giving him something to bite down on through the pain.

Jack nodded. "Will you hold his shoulders?" Sun leaned down, holding his shoulders down with all her weight as I continued to hold his hand. I dreaded the pain he was going to feel, the pain I was going to feel as he squeezed my hand.

"Alright, one… two… three." Jack pulled Boone's leg, setting it straight. Tears fell down my cheeks as Boone's scream filled the tent and was heard for miles around. I cringed as he squeezed my hand tightly, feeling the bones crack and pop.

It took a few minutes, but gradually he relaxed his grip and I removed my hand from his grip, rubbing the feeling back into it, checking for breaks. "I told you," Jack said rudely as he looked away.

I glared at him, taking Boone's hand with my other one. "Do you know his blood type?" Jack asked, walking to stand next to me, his sarcastic tone completely gone.

"No," I whispered. "Boone, do you know what your blood type is?" I leaned close to his face, hoping that he could hear me. "Boone, baby…"

"He's in shock," Sun said to Jack. "Boone, can you hear me? Do you know what your blood type is?"

"Damn it!" Jack exclaimed from his seat by the medical cart.

Sun glanced up. "Maybe you need a smaller piece?"

"No, what I need is a hollow needle. Veins are like wet noodles, once you get one you have to have something sharp enough to puncture it. I have bamboo." He threw the small stick of bamboo down at the ground. "But none of this matters because I don't know his blood type. Not to mention his injuries…"

"A negative," a whispered voice said from the cot.

Jack jumped up from his seat. "What was that? Boone, what did you say?"

"Shannon… the plane," the whisper continued.

"Did you hear A negative?" When both Sun and I nodded, Jack turned back to Sun. "Go, find Charlie. Ask everyone if they know what their blood type is. And find Shannon! Find his sister!" Jack tuned to me as Sun left the tent. "What's your blood type?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm AB positive. I had to find out for a blood drive at school," I started rambling, nervous and scared. "What type are you? Jack?" I looked around, but he was no where to be found. "Hey Boone. Don't worry. You're going to be just fine." I wasn't sure if this was the truth, but it made me feel better.

"I found an A," Charlie said as he burst back into the tent a few minutes later.

"Positive or negative?" Jack asked, emerging from wherever he had gone off too.

"She doesn't know. I also found two B positives and an AB negative. Or, at least he thinks so."

"Did you find any O negative?" Jack asked walking over to the supply cart.

Charlie glanced up from his notepad. "Sun said A negative?"

"Speaking of, where is she?"

Shrugging, Charlie looked around. "We split up. I thought she'd be back here by now.

"You only asked 4 people?" Jack asked, rummaging through the medical supplies.

"I asked the whole sodding camp -- no one knows their blood type. I don't know my bloody blood type."

Jack looked up as Sun walked into the camp. "Did you find Shannon?"

Sun shook her head. "I was getting you this. A hollow needle sharp enough to pierce a noodle." She held up a spine from a sea urchin.

The doctor allowed himself a small smile. "It's perfect."

"Not to rain on your proverbial parade but I thought you said we needed someone who was A negative," Charlie said, glancing from the needle back to Jack.

"Or O negative," Jack replied, piercing his fingertip with the needle.

"Right, which judging by your tantrum, no one is."

"Someone is." My head snapped up and I stared at him in shock. I may not be a science geek, but I did remember that O negative was a universal donor. Why did he have Charlie run around the camp if he had blood he could use?

"You?" Charlie asked angrily. "Why'd you make..."

"O negative is universal donor. It's in the ballpark, it's not a match. My blood could put him into anaphylactic shock…stop his heart."

Charlie stopped in his spot. "You mean he'll die." I looked up, my eyes moving from Charlie to Jack. Boone couldn't die, he just couldn't. Maybe it was selfish, but I didn't want him to leave me alone on this island.

"He's not going to die." Jack said it with such feeling; I couldn't help but believe him. My heart soared, clinging to any hope.

* * *

**AN: Wow. I can't believe we're at this part already. I did split the 'death scene' into two chapters because 1 it was too long and 2 I didn't want to overwhelm you. Please let me know what you think so far.**

**Also, all dialogue and character names that you find familiar are products of _Lost, _the producers/writers and ABC/Disney. I don't own anything except the plot and Kalie.**


	14. Dying Sucks Pt 2

**Chapter 14: Dying Sucks Pt. 2, Day 41**

Charlie stopped in his spot. "You mean he'll die." I looked up, my eyes moving from Charlie to Jack. Boone couldn't die, he just couldn't. Maybe it was selfish, but I didn't want him to leave me alone on this island.

"He's not going to die." Jack said it with such feeling; I couldn't help but believe him. My heart soared, clinging to any hope.

Even in the best of situations, Boone would be in trouble. He had severe internal injuries and a broken leg amongst other things. We most certainly were not in the best of situations.

I kept my watch over him, only taking a moment away to find one of my abandoned water bottles by the waterfall. Someone had organized them and put them in my pack. I pulled one out and walked back over to Boone's side. Taking a small cloth from the nearby cart, I soaked it with water and dabbed it on his lips. He couldn't get dehydrated now, not in his condition.

Minutes passed and suddenly, silence. I moved my eyes up from Boone and met Jin's brown ones. He started babbling in Korean and I glanced back at Sun to see if she would translate. "Claire!" He exclaimed and we all understood that one word.

"Claire?" Charlie asked. "What about Claire?"

"Claire's with Kate. She's in labor," Sun translated to Jack urgently. I took in a quick breath, wondering what Jack would think was more important, Boone or Claire. Would he leave Boone here with Sun and me to deliver Claire's baby?

Jack asked questions with Sun translating back and forth. Charlie began racing around, grabbing towels, water bottles and anything else he thought they might need. "You'll be there by then, right?" He asked Jack, but Jack just shook his head.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. I need to stay here," he said, finishing softly. His eyes fixed on Boone and a fresh wave of tears fell from my eyes. He thought Boone's condition was more important. But I wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not.

Charlie left a few minutes later with Jin, leaving us alone in silence. The sun was setting and we went around lighting torches, shedding light in the dim, dark cave. It was at times like these I missed electricity and light switches. Firelight was never bright enough.

Jack bent down to check Boone's breathing as I sat back on my rock and took his hand. I brushed a lock of hair from his eyes and placed a light kiss on his hand. I wanted Boone to wake up and laugh at me for being silly. Together we would walk back to our tent and cuddle underneath the airplane blankets.

"I screwed myself up pretty bad." My head jerked up and Jack spun on his spot to face the bed.

"Hey," I said softly, gazing into his eyes.

"My leg hurts." Boone winced as he shifted on the makeshift cot.

"It's broken, try not to move it. Can you breathe all right?" Jack asked, checking Boone's pulse and the breathing tube inserted in his chest.

"It fell. The plane. There was a plane." Boone gasped as he struggled to get the words out.

"Locke said you fell from a cliff." Jack tried to make sense of what Boone was saying.

"No… It fell, the plane." Boone whispered again through ragged breathes.

"What plane?" Jack looked up at me, confused. Was he talking about our plane?

Boone's head rolled back, away from Jack's face. "It was because of the hatch. They built a hatch… Locke said not to tell…"

"What hatch?" I asked, squeezing his hand, trying to keep him with us.

"Shannon? Shannon." Boone drifted off, in and out of consciousness.

"We need to find Shannon," I said softly. "He needs her here."

Jack looked up at me from the tubing and needle. "I know, but we have no idea where she is. And I have this feeling that you aren't going to look for her."

"You're right on that one," I said softly, shifting my gaze back down to the bruised body of my dear friend, my boyfriend.

I stared back down at Boone. When I glanced up again, Jack had wandered off, far enough away that I could whisper and he wouldn't hear me. I thought he might be letting me have some private time, but who knew. He was probably just taking a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly, not knowing if he could hear me. My fingers traced patterns on the back of his hand, circles and curl-i-cues. His fingers were bruised, covered with dirt and blood.

"What are you sorry for?" Boone asked, his eyes opening, reveling their blue depths. Every breath, every word seemed to be a struggle for him. "You didn't do anything." He gasped as a pain shot through his stomach and I cringed.

I smiled through my tears. "I don't know. It sounded like the right thing to say." Struggling to keep myself together, I forced another smile. "Is there anything I can get you? Water? Some fruit?"

"A cheeseburger sounds great," he whispered, a tiny smile turning his lips upward.

"You don't eat cheeseburgers." I said, allowing myself a small smile.

"True." Boone closed his eyes as another shot of pain seared through his arm… or leg… or both.

I brushed his hair from his face and smiled down at him. "Hey, don't forget. You promised to take me to that sushi restaurant in Malibu once we're rescued. And I'm supposed to meet your mum. You promised." I let the tears fall, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Now I'm sorry." His voice was rough and strained, causing me to struggle to hear him.

"You can't leave me damn it. You can't leave me alone on this island. I won't let you," my voice trailed off as his eyes slowly closed again. "Jack!" I screamed, unsure of whether he was merely sleeping or … well, I didn't want to entertain that thought.

"What?" Jack ran up the natural stairs and knelt next to the cot. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. Is he sleeping? Or…" My voice shook and I panicked. He couldn't leave me, not now, not after everything we'd been through so far.

Jack leaned down, placing his cheek an inch from Boone's nose and mouth. "Yes, he's just unconscious." He leaned back on his heels and checked Boone's pulse. "Why don't you go get some rest Kalie?"

"I'll rest when you rest. You can't get rid of me that easy Jack Shepard. I'm not going anywhere. If Shannon isn't here, he needs someone who lo… someone who cares about him." I looked back at his face and reached up to brush a lock of hair from his bloody face. I picked up a cloth Sun had left along with a water bottle. Wetting the cloth, I carefully wiped some of the blood and dirt from his face.

Jack shook his head and turned to fiddle with the needles Sun had gotten for him. He was going to have to give him a transfusion of his own blood, and hope that the effects weren't disastrous.

I continued to pray. I had to believe that God would grant a miracle, that he would help Boone live through this. "I'll have to take you to Connecticut so you can meet my father," I whispered to him. "Daddy'll just love you. And maybe one day, we'll go to England. I can show you my old house and neighborhood. That is, if we ever decide to get on a plane again." I paused, feeling myself get angry at him over nothing at all.

"Are you really going to leave me? Are you going to make me be alone on this island? Sayid has Shannon, Jack has Kate and Charlie and Claire have each other. Who will I have? No one if you leave me."

Jack looked up from where he was fastening the needle in his vein. "Kalie, you're never alone. All of us are here for each other." He took the other needle and stuck it into a vein in Boone's arm. "Don't worry. He's going to be fine."

Minutes passed. I squeezed Boone's hand and kept whispering things to him, hoping he could hear me. When Jack bent down to look into Boone's eyes, I forced my gaze up.

"Damn it," he exclaimed, standing back up. Sun and I glanced up at him and then down at Boone.

"It's not working," I said looking up and down Boone's battered body.

"The blood isn't the problem, it's his leg. All the blood is pooling there." He ran a hand over his hair, obviously stressed out.

I looked up, confused. "Why is that happening?"

"He didn't break this leg in a fall. It's crushed. Something crushed his leg." Jack checked the needle in his arm and leaned against the wall of the cave. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed as Sun pulled the needle from his arm.

"You have given him enough. Any more and you will get sick." Sun carefully removed the needle from Boone's arm and placed them on the small cart. Jack walked out of the caves, leaving me alone with Sun.

"Do you think he's going to make it?" I asked the young Korean woman.

Sun shrugged her shoulders and looked down at Boone's injured body. "I do not know."

We both stared down. I wasn't sure what Sun was thinking, but I had prayers flying through my head. I squeezed his hand lightly, hoping he could feel it through his pain.

Jack and Michael walked into the caves and over to the cargo hold. Michael was taking things out while Jack examined the hatch. "What are you doing?" Sun asked, walking quickly over to where they were standing. I couldn't hear everything that was being said, but I do believe I heard something about cutting off his leg.

A short while later, Michael and Jack came back with an improvised stretcher. "He's bleeding inside Jack," Sun said, holding up a cloth covered in blood.

"What are you doing?" I asked loudly, jumping up from her seat on the floor. They laid the stretcher next to Boone and were standing over him, Jack at his head Michael at his feet. "What do you think you're doing?" I backed up as they gently lifted him from the seat cushions onto the tarp.

"We have to cut the leg off. It's his only chance." They bent down again, this time to lift the tarp off the ground.

"No!" Sun exclaimed. "He's bleeding inside! You can not save him Jack!"

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" I and Sun stop, both staring at the doctor. "On three. One… two… three…" The two men lifted the tarp off the ground and moved over to the cargo hold.

"Jack, this is stupid! You can't do this Jack! It won't help him," I protested to deaf ears. Jack didn't seem to care. All he was worried about was making sure Boone survived and that meant doing whatever it took. Even if it wouldn't work.

Sun took my hand and held it tightly as the two men carried him to the cargo hold. I watched as Michael and Jack laid Boone down on the ground and shifted him into place. Jack tied a tourniquet made out of a belt and placed it around the leg. He glanced over at Michael. "You can go. You don't need to see this," he said, nodding towards the exit. "Kalie, you too."

I dropped Sun's hand and moved over to Boone's body. "No, I'm staying." I held his hand tightly as I glared up at Jack. "I'm staying with him and you can't make me go." I didn't want to watch this, didn't want to see him in that much pain; but I wouldn't leave him alone. No one should be alone during this.

"Fine, suit yourself." Jack glanced behind me then back at the cargo hold. He readjusted the towel on Boone's leg then lifted the door. It took all his courage, all his effort to hold onto the door and prepare to drop it, severing Boone's leg from his body. I could see the fear in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it.

I turned back to stare into Boone's face, still seeing his handsome features. I ignored the blood, cuts and scrapes, seeing only his beautiful pale skin. "Remember, you promised you wouldn't leave. You said you'd take care of Shannon… and me. You promised to stay until we were rescued," I whispered into his ear. I lightly kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand gently.

I nodded to Jack then looked away again, terrified of the pain Boone was about to feel. Jack lifted the door and prepared to drop it. "Wait," a strained voice whispered from the cot. "Wait. Don't do it."

Jack turned towards the voice as did I. "I have to. I can save you if…"

"I'm all mashed up inside. You know it." Boone's eyes found mine and the tears began to stream down my face. I didn't want him to die.

"No," Jack started, "I'm not going to let you give up that easy."

"No. You have to let me go. I know you made a promise, but I'm letting you off the hook." Boone whispered with his eyes focused on Jack's. His head turned so that his eyes met mine again. "You'll be okay." I smiled, nodding as my tears dropped onto his bare chest.

I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand. "I'm going to miss you, so much," I said softly.

"I'm sorry," Jack said, looking away from us.

"Don't be," Boone whispered.

We moved him from underneath the cargo hold back to the makeshift bed of first-class plane cushions. Jack, Sun, Michael and I carried him as gently as we could across the cave.

The only sound heard in the cave was the staggered breathing of an injured Boone. I held tight to his hand, still praying silently in my mind. This time, however, I was praying for his quick death. He was in so much pain; all I wanted at the moment was for it to go away. "I love you," I whispered into his ear. "I love you so much."

"Tell Shannon… tell Shannon… tell…," Boone whispered, his breath all but gone. His last breath gasped through the cave and I broke.

"No!" I screamed through my tears. "I'm not ready for him to go yet." The tears gushed from my eyes and my breathing gasped. "You can't leave me." I stared down, holding tightly to his lifeless hand. "Please God no."

Jack leaned down and closed Boone's still beautiful blue eyes. His eyes that showed all his emotions had now lost their spark. He was gone.

* * *

**AN: All I can say is..... :-( He's gone.**

**Oh, and I took the chapter title "Dying Sucks" from the season 2 episode "Abandon." It's what Boone says to Shannon at her father's wake.**

**All dialogue and characters that seem familiar are property of _Lost_, the writers/producers and ABC/Disney. I only own the plot and Kalie.**


	15. The After Effects

**Chapter 15: The After Effects, Day 42**

I sat outside our…my hut, not feeling or noticing the tears I knew must be sliding down my cheeks. He was gone. Boone had died. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out and shredded, only to be put back inside me. I was broken.

I didn't sleep that night. My eyes wouldn't close for long because every time I tried, I saw his bloody and bruised face. I heard his voice in the breeze, his straggled breaths. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't fall. They stayed welled in my eyes, the salt stinging.

The sun rose the next morning and I faintly heard happy voices from the path to the caves. People were happy, why? Who could be happy today of all days? "I'm sorry Kalie," a rough voice said from above me. I glanced up and saw Jack's bloodshot eyes that I'm sure matched my own.

"I know," I whispered. "Why is everyone so happy?"

"Claire had her baby. It's a boy." I nodded, but didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what to say. "Shannon's back. She and Sayid returned a few minutes ago. She's over at the…" he trailed off and I looked up to see why he had stopped talking.

Sayid stood in front of us. "I'll leave you two," Jack said standing up. He walked back down the beach towards the path up over to the caves. I watched him walk then shifted my gaze towards the water. I watched the birds fly overhead and fish jump up out of the sea.

"I am so sorry Kalila." Sayid's voice was soft and comforting. I felt the sand shift next to me as Sayid sat down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hands fold in his lap and he looked down at them, apparently as uncomfortable as I.

"Locke said he fell from a cliff," I whispered, not moving my eyes from the blue water. "But Jack says his leg was crushed. Why would he lie?"

I heard him sigh next to me and his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I leaned against him, letting him hold me close. "I do not know. But for you and Shannon, I will find out. She's in the caves, sitting with him. Would you like to come with me? I am going to go check on her."

"I can't go back there," I whispered as I sat upright. "I can't see him like that any more; can't see him battered like that…" I trailed off, and then shook my head. "I'll come."

Sayid stood up and held out his hand, which I took. Together we traveled through the woods and back to the caves, traversing the same path I took the previous night to go back to our… my tent. Alone.

Shannon was kneeling on the ground next to Boone's body…corpse. I shivered as I thought the word, corpse. She was playing with his hair, moving it off his forehead then back again. He looked as if he was sleeping. That any moment he would wake up and kiss me. Sayid squeezed my hand before dropping it and walking over to where Shannon was seated.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I heard Sayid ask after he had knelt down next to her. His voice was so soft, so caring. "Sun said he wouldn't let Jack take his leg. She said he knew what was happening, that he was brave."

I sobbed softly, not wanting to disrupt the quiet scene in front of me. I had to leave, but I couldn't tear my eyes from the tarp, from my boyfriend. "Kalie?" A soft voice called from behind me.

Forcing my eyes off the tarp, I turned and met Sun's eyes. I shook my head and I walked away, out the caves' exit and down the path. Several yards away, I collapsed onto the dirt.

I'm not sure how long I stayed there, alone on the path. No one came to talk to me, nothing disrupted my train of thought as I recounted all the good moments of the past forty-one days. I remembered our first night stranded here on the island, the first time he smiled at me with my favorite smile, the first night he stayed in my tent with his arm wrapped around me, our first kiss and every one after that, telling me I'd see him later that day after Locke woke us up at the crack of dawn. I never thought that when I saw him next, he'd be bruised, covered in blood and struggling for every breath.

"Kalie?" I faintly heard Charlie's voice calling to me from far away. I shook my head and looked around, startled to find him sitting right next to me. "Are you all right? I've been calling you for a few minutes now."

"I'm sorry," I said softly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands and noticing that there were no tear marks. How was I not crying? "I guess I was zoned out."

He nodded and held out his hand for me to take. "We're going to bury him in a few minutes. I volunteered to come get you."

I slid my hand in his and he gently pulled me up from the sand. "I don't think I can do this."

"Yes you can. We're all with you. Don't forget about Shannon, she's lost him too. We all have." His voice was low, soft and comforting. Three things I had never experienced with Charlie Pace.

"I know. I just… I don't do well at funerals." He held my hand tightly as we walked up the beach and to the area Jack had designated our cemetery. I did never figure out who dug the grave.

We fell in behind the procession, Jack and Hurley carrying Boone's lifeless body on our makeshift stretcher. We had no coffins, and he was wrapped up in one of our old tarps. Everyone was quiet; this was our second funeral since we burned the fuselage. He was the second one… the second body we had to bury.

I stood on one side of Sayid and Shannon stood on the other. My arms were crossed in front of me as I stared at the blue plastic tarp.

"Shannon, do you want to say something?" Jack asked nearly out of breath and close to tears.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

He turned to me, "Kalie?"

I looked up at Jack through my blurry eyes. Did I want to say something? Could I say something? "Boone is…" I started then shook my head. "I'm sorry," I whispered and turned away, fighting to hold the tears in.

Sayid spoke next, his warm voice breaking through the deafening silence. "I did not know Boone very well, and for that I am sorry. On our sixth day here, a woman named Joanna died. She drowned and Boone was the first one into the water. I did not know him, but I will remember his courage and I know he will be missed." The salty tears wouldn't fall; they wouldn't leave my eyes even through Sayid's speech. Now, I wanted them to drop, to hit the sand and be gone from my eyes, but they wouldn't fall.

We stood in awkward silence for a moment. Everyone shifted from foot to foot and looked around. A few people laid flowers on the tarp and around the hole. "It was my fault," a voice called from down the beach. I turned, as did the rest of the group, to where John Locke was standing by a tree, his shirt and pants still covered in Boone's blood. "We found a plane… a beach-craft in the jungle. It was lodged in the canopy so… I would have gone up. But… my leg was hurt so he… there was a radio inside and he thought he could…

"His weight must have made the plane shift and it fell and… It happened because he was trying to help us. He was a hero." I wanted to hurt him, to scream at him, to do whatever I could think of. It was his fault, his fault Shannon lost her brother, his fault that I lost him too.

"Where were you? Where the hell were you, you son-of-a-bitch." I stepped back as Jack walked forward, tackling Locke and throwing a few punches. Jin, Sawyer and Charlie raced forward and pulled Jack up. "Where were you?" He kept screaming, fighting against the group surrounding him. "You left him to die!"

I turned my face away, but I couldn't find a place to look. One way was the fight another was Boone's body, the tarp covering his once handsome face. I shut my eyes, blocking out the images but not the sounds. Jack screamed, yelling at Locke and when I opened my eyes, he had face-planted in the sand.

Sawyer, Charlie and Kate carried him off to the side while I walked away. I couldn't stand to stay one more moment by the gravesite. I didn't need to watch them lower his body into the ground and fill the hole with the dark brown, cold dirt.

I walked the beach, up and down. People offered sad, sympathetic smiles and nods as I walked past. Eventually, I just avoided meeting people's eyes. On my third pass, I finally noticed Shannon sitting alone by the waves, a green pack in front of her.

"May I sit here?" I asked, gesturing to the patch of sand next to her. When I didn't receive a response, I sat down quietly. We stared off at the waves crashing against the shore. Birds flew over head, squawking and squalling. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

Shannon didn't respond, and her eyes continued to stare unfocused at the water. Her fingers intertwined together and she picked at her nails. "I know how you're feeling; I lost my younger brother last year, different circumstances though. The pain doesn't go away, but it does lessen after a while. Or so I've been told."

This time, Shannon turned her head and looked into my eyes. "I know," she whispered. "My father died in a car crash two years ago. Boone was the last person left who still cared about me." Shannon's eyes filled with tears. "Why are you being nice to me? I've been nothing but rude to you this entire time."

I shrugged. "He kept telling me to be nice to you, that you had your reasons for how you acted. I guess I'm finally trying."

Shannon nodded and looked back out to the water. "He really liked you, you know."

"Oh really?" I asked offhandedly. This was not the direction I thought our conversation would be going, but she was talking to me, so I'll take it.

"Yes. You made him happy. Something I could never do." I wasn't sure how to respond and waited for Shannon to continue, but she didn't. Time passed slowly as we sat on the beach. I wasn't sure what Shannon's thoughts were, but mine drifted from Boone to my brother and back again.

I left Shannon sitting on the beach and wandered down the sand to where we had all gathered earlier that morning. I forced a smile at the wooden cross that someone had placed over the newly dug grave. They had scratched his name into the wood: Boone Carlyle.

Jack had picked a good place for the cemetery; it overlooked the water and had a beautiful view. I sat on a nearby rock and stared down at the freshly dug dirt. I tried to think about something different… take my mind off him. I couldn't.

"I miss you," I whispered to the wind. "I'm sorry we couldn't…" My voice trailed off as I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't let the tears fall down my cheeks.

A warm breeze blew through the cemetery and I shivered in spite of it. I stared down at the wooden cross, wishing it would disappear and Boone would be standing in front of me, laughing because I wouldn't cry.

*~*~*

"He didn't mean for this to happen," Sayid said, standing in front of me. I glanced up, squinting against the harsh sun. "I believe it was an accident. Locke didn't mean for Boone to be hurt."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," I said softly.

He nodded and sat next to me. "I know."

Sayid left me a short while later. He left me to sit alone again. I was tired of being alone, but no one would talk to me. Everyone wanted to avoid the girlfriend of the dead guy. Shannon had gone off somewhere, my only companion had left.

I looked up as Jack stormed out of his tent with Kate, yelling about Locke and guns. Jumping up, I followed Sayid to where he was standing with Kate and Jack. "Jack, I don't think it was Locke."

"Sayid," I whispered, knowing exactly who he was referring to. Shannon took the key.

We raced through the rain and trees. I followed immediately behind Sayid while Kate and Jack were behind us. We had to reach her before she did something she would regret later. I wanted Locke dead as much as she did, but I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't let her either.

I tripped over a rock and landed on the ground, scraping the heels of my hands. Jumping up again, I ran to catch up. A few more steps and I found Sayid, stopped in the middle of some trees. "She doesn't believe me Sayid," Locke said, kneeling on the ground. I looked over at Shannon, holding the gun pointed directly at Locke.

"Shannon. Shannon," Sayid started, inching closer and closer to her.

"He did it. I know it," she protested, still holding the gun pointed at our fearless hunter.

"You're not thinking rationally. You've never fired a gun before." With that sentence, Shannon fired a shot into the trees behind Locke's head. I jumped a foot in the air, terrified. "Shannon, you don't want to do this."

"Yes I do."

Sayid held out his hands toward her. "If you do it, you can never take it back." He moved a few more steps closer as Jack and Kate emerged from the mess of trees. I looked back and forth between Locke and Shannon. Locke looked terrified, the first time I'd ever seen him look that way.

"Stay back," she exclaimed to Jack and Kate. "What did you do to him?"

"I told you it was an accident," Locke said, his voice shaky. I almost felt sorry for the man. Almost.

"Shannon, please don't," I whispered.

"You want him dead too! It's his fault Boone's gone!" She yelled and I nodded, unable to stop myself from doing so. I couldn't argue with her.

Jack surveyed the scene, looking from Sayid to Locke, to Shannon then me. "Shannon," he started softly, as if to talk her out of it.

"Jack, you told me he was a liar!" Shannon held steady, her hand only shaking slightly from the weight of the gun.

I caught Sayid out of the corner of my eye. He lunged for Shannon and as he did so, she pulled the trigger, firing a shot that knocked Locke backwards. They fell to the ground and Shannon screamed, struggling to get up.

"Shannon, I'm sorry," Sayid said as she climbed up from the wet dirt.

"Don't. Get away." She walked away, into the jungle, leaving us to stand around awkwardly.

Locke sat up and pressed his fingers to his temple. The bullet grazed his scalp, leaving behind a small trail of blood.

"Sayid," I whispered, but he walked away. I glanced back at Jack and Kate, but they too left the grove of trees.

*~*~*  
Later that night, I lay underneath my tarp on the beach. I opted to stay on the beach, even though Charlie and Jack had tried to get me to move to the caves with them. They said I'd be safer there, it was more secluded, closer to the water supply, but I didn't listen. Boone was on the beach, in our make-shift cemetery, as was Shannon and Locke. And for some reason, the strange older man gave me a sense of comfort on the island… even if he was the reason Boone was dead.

I lay in the same spot, my mind racing with thoughts: the island, Boone, my violin. Everything jumbled together as I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a short while later to what felt like someone playing with my hair. My eyes flew open and I sat up straight, moving quickly to the side of the tarp. As my eyes focused in the darkness, I was able to make out a figure sitting cross-legged above where my head had been. "Who are you?" I whispered to the figure. Even as the words left my mouth, I knew. "Boone?" I asked, my voice shaking.

The figure laughed softly, "yes. It's me. I'm sorry I startled you."

"But… how…" I couldn't finish a sentence, couldn't comprehend what I wanted to say. He was here, in my tent. Was my wish granted? Had he not died?

"You're dreaming. This is only a dream, 'Li." My eyes had adjusted to the dim light and I could just make out his figure in the darkness. His bright blue eyes twinkled and I felt my heart break again.

"Why did you leave? Why did you have to die?" I cried, the tears falling down my cheeks. I sobbed, fully crying for the first time since he died. I didn't cry at the funeral, didn't cry when they placed his body in the ground, and didn't even cry when I went back to our makeshift tent that night, alone. I had gotten used to his presence in the tent: falling asleep next to me and holding me tight in his strong arms. I longed to inhale the smell I had begun to associate with him, leaves and wet earth.

Boone knelt down next to me and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. "Shh, don't cry 'Li. It was my time. I should have died on the plane, but Shannon's fight with the check-in clerk bought us more time. It bought me time to know you."

He held me close, running his fingers through my hair. My tears landed on his shirt and jeans. He looked like he did when I first saw him the day of the crash. His dark blue shirt and jeans were clean and pressed. "I miss you," I whispered through my tears.

"I miss you too Kalie. I didn't want to leave. I promise you I didn't. If I had the choice, I would have stayed with you." He kissed the top of my head softly and the tears came again. "Shh, Shh."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, the flow of tears beginning to slow.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I felt his heart beating through his shirt and it brought a smile to my face. He had to be real, why else would I feel a heartbeat?

Shifting me around, he stretched out his legs and rested me next to him. I curled up against his chest and he rocked me back and forth. "I wanted to say good bye. I didn't get to and this was as best as I could do." He kissed the top of my head and rested his chin there. "I love you. I should have told you before, but I couldn't. I didn't want to fall in love with you so quickly, but I did."

I looked up into his eyes and nodded. "I love you too, and I'm not just saying it back, I really do love you. I've known for a while, but I didn't want to admit it."

"You'll be okay 'Li. Sayid will take care of you." His lips brushed my cheek and I laid my head against his chest again. "Go to sleep Kalie. You'll be fine in the morning."

I let my eyes close and concentrated on committing the moment to memory. The way his hands felt around me, the way his lips brushed against me so softly, the way he would run his fingers over my arm and back again. These were the things I wanted to remember about him, the way I wanted to remember him. I didn't want to remember him bruised and bloody, but whole and safe. The way he was right now with me.

"I love you," he whispered softly, as if he couldn't hear it enough. "I love you." His voice relaxed my mind and I let myself slowly drift away, off towards sleep.

When I woke the next morning, I was holding tightly to his pillow. Salty tears were dried to my cheeks and in my eyes. But I felt peaceful, calmer than I had felt yesterday. "I miss you so much," I whispered into the cool morning air.

I smiled through the fresh tears in my eyes as a warm breeze blew past my cheek. Odd, considering I was still sitting inside the tent. "I love you," I whispered and let the tears fall.

* * *

**AN: Yes, so the ending was rather weird, but I've always had a thing for the supernatural (ghosts and such). Besides, on this island, anything is possible. **

**This might be the last chapter update for a few days. My spring break is over as of Monday and I need to get ready for a huge concert with my students. Thanks for reading and enjoying my story. Happy Easter!**

**Also: I do not own any dialogue or characters. All are property of _Lost_, the writers/producers and ABC/Disney. I only own the plot and Kalie.**


	16. Exodus

****

Chapter 16: Exodus, Day 44

I stared down at my notebook, my journal. I hadn't written in days, but couldn't bring myself to pick it up and put pen to paper. There was no way I could relive the experiences of the past few days.

Picking up the notebook, I slowly opened it to the most recent entry, October 31st, when I wrote about seeing James in the jungle. _Boone held me so close last night and I felt so safe and happy when I woke up this morning. How did I let myself get so dependent on him?_

The tears welled in my eyes. He's gone now, and I'm alone. My rock, my dearest friend on this Godforsaken island is gone.

I lay down on my side of the mattress, closing the notebook and putting it back under the pillow. I forced my eyes to close and tried to think of all the happy moments I could from the past forty-odd days. My first kiss with Boone, the first time he spent the night, the feeling of his arms around me that last night. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep, my dreams full of happy thoughts.

A short while later, I rubbed my eyes to clear the sleepiness and was unsure of why I had woken up from such a sound sleep. Hearing voices outside my tent, I pulled the tarp aside and crawled out to investigate. Many people were up and milling around, odd because the sun had barely risen over the mountains. I followed their gazes out and saw a ragged and dirty woman walking through the camp.

"Calm down everyone. It's all right," Sayid said, his hands rising in a calming gesture. "Danielle. Danielle? What are you doing here?" Danielle? She was the French woman from the transmission, wasn't she?

"The others are coming." She spoke forcefully and with what sounded like fear in her voice. Who was coming? I stood up and walked down to where a group was huddled, hoping to hear more about what was going on.

She paused as my fellow survivors whispered amongst themselves. "Our ship went aground on this island 16 years ago. There were 6 of us. At that time I was already 7 months pregnant. I delivered the infant myself. The baby and I were together for only one week when I saw black smoke… a pillar of black smoke 5 kilometers inland. That night they came and took her…Alex. They took my baby. And now, they're coming again. They're coming for all of you."

We all glanced at each other, unsure of whether or not to believe her. Others, what others? I moved closer to Sayid, the only one I felt safe near.

"Who's coming?" Jack asked, trying to keep the group calm, not very successfully if you ask me.

"The others. You have three choices: run, hide or die." I met eyes with Claire as she held the baby close to her chest. Her eyes echoed what I was sure mine held: terror.

No one could go to sleep again after Rousseau's visit. We milled around, foraging for breakfast, washing clothes, conversing about what happened that morning. I talked with Sayid for a few minutes before wandering off to look for fruit. As promised, I didn't wander far from our path.

As I was foraging, Jack pulled me back to the beach to help lay the rails so that we could move the raft from the beach and into the water. The more people who help Jack said, the faster we would get the raft into the water and the faster we would be rescued. It was hard work. The wood was heavy and the sand didn't help in carrying the heavy poles.

It took over an hour to lay the rails to get the raft into the water. By the time we were done, I was sweaty, hot and dirty. All I could think about was taking a nice, long, hot cool shower.

We pushed, lifted and pushed, maneuvering the raft on the bamboo and palm tree rails. It was more work that I had done in months. I pushed my small section of the raft and jumped back when it fell free. The raft slid down the beach until we heard a loud crack. Michael yelled and soon, he was charging back to where we were standing, glaring at Sawyer and me.

"It wasn't my section that broke, so don't you glare at me," I yelled back at him, but it was to deaf ears. He stormed up the beach with Jin, leaving me to stand with Sawyer, something I certainly did not want to do.

I left; left the group to fix the raft and wandered up the beach. Claire was in her tent with the baby, but didn't look like chatting. I waved as I walked passed, but she either didn't see me or ignored me.

"Hey! Kalie!" I turned and saw Charlie walking up the beach towards me. "Do you have a message? This is going on the boat and when they're rescued they can contact our families."

For the first time in days I managed a small smile. "Do you have an extra piece of paper that I can write on? Maybe a pen?"

Charlie reached into his pocket and pulled out both items while I knelt down in the sand and wrote my message:

_Daddy, I'm all right. We're on an island in the South Pacific and hope that we can be rescued soon. Love both you and Ashton._

_~Kalie_

I folded the note and wrote Daddy's address on the front. Charlie was standing in front of me holding the bottle and I rolled the note, tucking it in through the mouth. "Thank you Charlie," I said softly. He didn't know how much this meant to me, how much hope it gave me that we might be rescued and I could return home.

Charlie walked away, asking the remainder of the survivors for their notes. I walked down the beach again, this time knowing exactly where I was headed. "Sayid," I called as I approached his tent.

His head appeared with a smile on his face. "Yes Kalie, what can I help you with?" He walked out of the tent with his pack on his back and I cocked my head, confused.

"What are you doing?"

My brother sighed and shook his head, causing me to become even more confused. He took my hands in his and smiled sadly. "I have to go out to the beach craft. There might be some items we can salvage to help the raft."

"The beach craft?" My voice was so soft I barely heard it. Why would he want to go out there? Even if it could help the raft.

Sayid offered a small smile. "Do not worry Kalila. I will be back before you even realize I'm gone. Go help with the raft."

"I don't want to help with the damn raft," I protested, pulling away from him. "No one will talk to me and they barely even look at me!" I stepped back and shook my head. "Fine, go on your trek into the jungle. I'll see you when you get back."

I stormed off down the beach, ignoring Sayid's calls to come back to him. I was tired of not being included in anything. I wasn't included, wasn't informed, hell like I said to Sayid, no one even bothered to talk to me anymore. Maybe I was overreacting, but at the moment, I didn't care.

I walked through the sand to where Shannon was folding clothes. She hated me, but maybe she would talk to me. "Shannon?" I asked softly, walking up to where she was standing outside her tent. "Do you need any help?" I recognized the clothes she was constantly folding, Boone's. She was going through Boone's clothes, folding, unfolding then folding again before placing them in a suitcase.

She looked up and I was met with her bloodshot blue eyes. "If you want to," she replied softly.

I stood next to her and pulled a few shirts off the pile. We worked in silence for several minutes. I wasn't sure what to say or how to comfort her. When James died, I hated hearing people tell me it would be all right, that I would see him again some day. "Shannon, do you mind if I take a few of his shirts? I… I don't really have much to remember him…" I trailed off softly; already know the answer to the question before I asked it. Why would Shannon give me anything?

"Sure, you can them. I don't know why I'm holding on to them anyway. I'm sure someone else could use them." She placed the recently folded shirts into the suitcase and reached for more. I was shocked, but managed to recover quickly.

"No one really minds Shannon," I said softly at a small attempt to comfort her. In the back of my mind, I highly doubted anyone would want clothes from a dead man.

"Why are you folding the clothes?" I glanced up quickly at the voice right behind us. It was Walt and Vincent.

Shannon didn't make eye contact with the boy, but continued to fold and unfold the pair of jeans in her hand. "Because I'm anal. Is there something you wanted?"

"I think you should take Vincent."

She turned and looked down at Walt. "You serious?" Shannon asked softly, her low voice betraying her emotions.

"He'll take care of you."

Kneeling down next to the dog, she reached her hand up and gently petted his head. "What makes you think I need a dog to take care of me?"

Walt shrugged, "Vincent took care of me after my mom died and nobody would talk to me; they'd pretend like nothing happened. So I'd talk to Vincent. He's a good listener. You could talk to him about Boone if you want." I glanced down at Shannon, her eyes glistening with tears.

"All right," she said with a small smile. "But only until you get us rescued, all right?" Walt handed Shannon Vincent's leash and I turned away, picking up the nearest shirt and refolding it. Shannon had a companion now, but what did I have?

*~*~*

We all stood around the raft, saying good bye to Michael, Walt, Sawyer and Jin. We hugged and kissed, cheered and grinned. "Safe trip Sawyer," I said holding out my hand for him to shake.

"Take care Tinkerbelle," he said with a grin and took my hand. But in a shocking move, he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around my torso, hugging me tightly. "Take care."

Stepping back, I nodded and smiled. We gave the raft one final push and then it was off. I cheered along with everyone else, and smiled as Vincent pulled free of Shannon's grasp, swimming out into the water after Walt. The sail was hoisted and we cheered again, clapping and waving.

I stood back from the crowd, barely noticing when Sayid's arms wrapped around me from behind and pulled me close to his chest. "Do not worry Kalie. They'll succeed and we'll all be rescued."

Nodding, I turned to face him, placing my cheek into his chest. My arms wrapped around his waist and I interlocked my fingers behind his back, holding tightly. I let the tears fall, spilling onto his shirt and making small damp spots on the material. "We will be fine," he said, tilting my chin so that my eyes met his.

"Everyone keeps telling me that," I said with a laugh. My hand came up and I wiped the tears off my cheeks and from my eyes. "I got your shirt all wet."

Sayid smiled and shook his head at me. "You're worried about that?"

I shrugged with a small smile. "I don't want to be alone," I whispered, looking up into his deep brown eyes. "I feel so alone now that Boone's gone."

"Do not feel alone." Sayid pulled me back to his chest and hugged me tightly. "I am here for you, as are everyone else. Never feel alone here." I smiled again through my tears as his lips softly pressed against the top of my head.

I was tired of being the older one, the one who watches out for everyone else. I always took care of James and Ashton, which is why his death came as such a shock. Now, I had an older brother to take care of me, to help me when things got rough.

Sayid took my hand and together we walked up the beach to our camp. I followed him to his tent to pack and then went off to mine by myself. I threw a few items of clothing (most were mine, but a few of Boone's shirts I had gotten from Shannon) into my large pack along with some water bottles and my notebook. No matter what happened, I needed the journal with me.

We took off through the jungle to the caves, leading the procession with Shannon and Vincent following behind. The walk was silent as our procession of thirty people marched through the trees along the path.

"Sayid!" Someone yelled from behind us. Charlie came running up to us, panting and out of breath. "Rousseau, she needs you."

"Did she say what for?" Sayid asked, placing a suitcase on the ground.

A woman screamed down the beach, back at our camp. "Claire," I whispered as Charlie and Sayid raced down the path, back to camp. After a quick glance at Shannon, I followed them through trees.

Sun was kneeling on the ground, holding Claire, a white cloth placed against her forehead. Claire sat up, crying, screaming about Aaron. "What happened?" Sayid asked, kneeling down next to the two women.

"Her head," Sun said, holding up the white cloth, stained with blood.

"My baby!" Claire screamed, tears streaming down her face. "Did she take my baby?"

Sayid took her hand tightly in his. "Did you see which way she went? Claire? Which was did she go?"

"I don't know," the young mother screamed. "She took my baby." I knelt next to Claire, taking her hand as Sayid stood up and looked around.

"This is your fault," he exclaimed, hooking his right fist and catching Sayid's jaw. "You brought her into the camp. If you had just given me a gun. "

Shannon and I gasped as Charlie tried a second time to hit Sayid, but this time, he was ready. Sayid grabbed Charlie's throat and held tightly. "Do not hit me again. You want to waste time assigning blame? There's plenty to go around. She has a head start. If we leave now we can catch her."

"How are you going to do that?" I asked softly from my seat in the sand.

"Because I know where she's going," Sayid glanced at Charlie and the two walked away, leaving Sun, Shannon and I to attempt to comfort a screaming Claire.

We took turns holding her hand and trying to calm her down. It took a few minutes, but she eventually stopped screaming and crying. What shocked me was her standing up, calm and collected, and walking to where Sayid and Charlie had ventured into the jungle. "I'll follow her," Sun said. "I'll bring her back and we will head to the caves."

Sun disappeared into the trees. "Do you think we should…?" I asked Shannon softly, still uncomfortable around her.

"Yeah, I left Vincent with Tracy and Steve. I should probably get him." We stood up and together walked back down the path to the caves. Minutes behind us, Claire and Sun returned and we finished our journey to the caves.

My eyes found the spot where Boone had taken his final breath. I couldn't shift my eyes away, couldn't move them from the spot. "Are you all right?" I heard Shannon's voice from behind me and managed to pull my eyes away from the cold, gray stone.

I turned to face her, my eyes blurry with tears. "I can't believe he's gone," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is…"

She nodded and turned away, leaving me alone to let my eyes wander back to the stone. I slowly walked towards it, not fully aware of what I was doing. My legs carried me to the stone steps and I sat down, letting the tears fall from my eyes and onto my jeans.

Hours passed. Time moved slowly as we tried to make the best of our situation. People were on edge, wondering when 'The Others' were going to come, wondering if Jack, Kate, Locke and Hurley managed to do whatever it was they were doing in the jungle, wondering if Sayid and Charlie were all right and if they managed to get the baby back.

Sometime near dark, part of my silent prayers was answered. Sayid and Charlie walked into the caves, and Charlie was carrying the baby. I grinned as Claire ran to Charlie, kissing his cheek and holding her baby close to her chest.

Shannon ran to Sayid, her arms outstretched, but I held back. Yes, I was thankful to see Sayid and Charlie back safe with Aaron. But these scenes before my eyes only further convinced me that I was alone on this bloody island.

* * *

**AN: And that is the end of Season 1. The start to Season 2 will be up shortly. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**P.S. I don't own any of the characters or dialogue. All are property of _Lost_, the writers/producers and ABC/Disney. I only own Kalie and the plot.**


	17. Numbers and Letters

**Chapter 17: Numbers and Letters, Day 45-47**

We hid. We hid in the caves until the sun came up, and we were fine. Sayid and Shannon returned without Vincent and Jack returned to wait with us. Apparently, his plan didn't work as planned.

The next morning we returned to our beach to set up our camp again. I tossed my pack into the tent and made my way back down the beach to Sayid. I'd organize my clothing and belongings later. Right now, I wasn't in the mood.

"Dude, I have to say, I didn't think we were going to make it through the night. And I wasn't even here for the baby-napping thing," Hurley said, lifting the back end off a heavy trunk Sayid was dragging. I walked along with them, breathing a thankful sigh that we were still alive.

"I can assure you, it was very exciting." Sayid winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

Hurley shot me a look of confusion then shook his head. "It's about time that things are finally going to return back to some sort of normalness."

"Sayid! Sayid!" I turned as Kate came running up the beach. "We need your help."

"With what?" My brother asked, dropping his pack and dusting his hands off on his pants.

"The hatch."

I turned, my jaw dropping slightly. "What hatch?" I asked, pieces fitting together in my mind. Boone mentioned a hatch; he said that he and Locke found a hatch in the jungle when he was delirious with pain.

Sayid sighed, "Come with us."

We raced through the jungle, Kate and Sayid in the lead with me following as close behind as I could, and Hurley bringing up the rear. We went through sections of jungle I had never seen and I tried to pay attention, in case I was ever out here again.

And then it was there. A large door swung open from the side of what looked like a large boulder covered in ivy and leaves. Sayid took my hand and we followed Kate through the door.

It was like an apartment, once you got past the submarine-style hatchway. We walked through a living room complete with ping-pong table and finally into what looked like an office room. Locke was curled up on the floor in front of a table, crying from the looks of it.

"Dude," Hurley said, summing up my thoughts in a single word.

I looked around in awe. "What is this place?" Locke stood up meeting our eyes.

"John, where's Jack?" Kate asked, looking around and in cabinets. As if Jack was hiding in the pantry.

"Jack's gone. I need your help." I glanced over at Sayid; my brother was staring at Locke, emotion bright in his eyes and a blank stare on his face.

"What do you need help with?" He asked softly, gazing around the room once more.

Locke nodded a slight smile on his lips. "I need you to fix the computer."

"A computer? What is the computer for?" Sayid glanced warily at the electronic box on the desk.

"To save the world," John said simply.

I had to force myself not to laugh. "Save the world? Locke, you're joshing us."

"I don't have time to explain it. So please, Sayid would you just fix the computer?"

I looked from Sayid to Locke and then back again. Sayid nodded and walked quickly to the computer. He examined the power cords, circuit wires and other things I didn't know the name of. "First things first, we need to find the main power system." He looked around at us in turn. "Try to find it. It should be somewhere close by, in a side room possibly."

I walked towards the door way, following Kate and Hurley, but was called back almost immediately. "Not you Kalie, I want you here. Hurley and Kate can do it."

Cocking my head sideways, I walked back to where Sayid was now sitting at the desk. What could he want me for?

"What does it look like?" I heard Kate call from back in another room.

"It's a breaker box. There has to be one. Follow the conduit lines," Sayid called back.

I moved to stand next to my brother and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Can you fix it?"

"As long as they find the correct things, yes." I looked into his eyes, hoping he actually could. John didn't tell us the exact purpose for the computer, but I gathered it was fairly important, otherwise what would be the point of fixing it?

Locke walked back and forth across the floor, his eyes flicking up to the timer on the wall. Sayid put his head in his hands. "This man, who ever he was, replaced the motherboard." He stood up and walked to the back of the desk, studying the wires and cables. "The power transformer is blown."

"Don't you need to know why?" Locke asked, his lips turned up in a small smile.

"All I need to know is that the timer is counting down to something. And that this computer needs to be repaired. I'm sure you'll tell me why once I've done so." My brother stood up and walked back to sit in the chair. As soon as he did so, a generator kicked in and the lights came back on, bright and glowing.

"Found it," Kate yelled and then I heard footsteps racing down the hallway.

The timer on the wall began beeping and I couldn't tear my eyes off it. What was going to happen when the timer reached zero? "Uh, what's that?" Hurley asked and I pulled my eyes away to look over at him. I hadn't even heard him and Kate come back in.

"Sayid," Locke said, his eyes fixing on the timer as mine had.

"I'm working on it."

"You have to…"

"I know what I have to do." His fingers flew over the keyboard, putting pieces back together and connecting wires.

Kate and Hurley's stared at the timer, watching the numbers tick down, listening to the incessant beeping.

"Reconnecting the processor, replace the transformer…" He put the lid back and took a breath before clicking the power button. The screen lit up and I let out a breath I hadn't' realized I'd been holding.

"It's on."

"Okay, so what now?" Kate stood beside Locke, looking down at the screen.

Locke sat behind the desk, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. "There was a code. He made me enter it."

Hurley turned to face us, "what code?"

"Do you remember what it is?" Sayid stood behind Locke and me next to him. I slipped my fingers through my brother's and held tight.

"4…8…" Locke keyed in the first two numbers. How many were there? Did he remember them all?

"Wait a minute…" Hurley walked towards us.

"15…16…"

Hurley walked another step. "Dude, I'm serious! Stop"

"Hugo!" Locke held up a finger. "This is not the time or the place."

"Yeah well I think this is!"

Locke keyed in the next number. "23…"

"What is this thing? You don't even know what it does!" Hurley was behind the desk now, gesturing at the wall. "I mean we need…"

"Hurley, I'm sure there's a reason…" I trailed off when he shot me a death glare.

"32." Locke keyed in the next number and stopped.

Hurley stopped. "You know what dude? Go ahead. Do you thing." He stepped back, Locke's finger hovering over a final key.

"It's not 32," a voice said from the doorway. I looked up and saw Jack standing in front of us. So he decided to join the party again. "It's 42. He just told me. Desmond. The last number's 42." Jack turned and walked away, down the hallway towards the door out.

Locke hit the backspace, deleting the 32 and reentering the 42. His finger hovered over a key and I looked down. Execute. Time froze. I squeezed Sayid's hand, trying to keep myself calm. He gently squeezed back as we watched the scene before us. "You do it Jack."

"What?" Jack said, turning back around and walking a few steps towards us.

"You have to do it." Locke stood up and moved away from the computer, towards Jack.

Jack shook his head. "No. You do it yourself John."

"You saw the film. This is a two person job, at least." Jack shook his head and my eyes flickered back up to the ticking timer. The numbers were getting closer and closer to zero, and I had no idea what would happen once we hit that number.

Sayid moved forward, dropping my hand and taking the place in front of the computer. "This argument is irrelevant."

"Sayid, don't," Jack said, shaking his head.

"Jack…"

"Don't. It's not real. Look, you want to push the button, you're going to do it yourself." Jack and Locke faced off, each staring down, arguing, back and forth about the button.

"Look! Someone press the damn button," I yelled and everyone froze. Eyes were suddenly fixed on me for a moment. I felt my cheeks blush brilliant red. "I don't want to die."

Locke turned away from me and faced Jack again. "I can't do this alone, Jack," Locke said softly, his voice sounded close to breaking. "I don't want to."

The timer hit one minute and a buzzer sounded every second. I shut my eyes tightly, not knowing what was going to happen, if anything. I wanted to believe Jack, to say that the button wasn't real, but would Locke be this passionate about something that wasn't real? He and Boone found the hatch to begin with.

Jack walked around the desk and stared down at the button. The buzzing became more frequent as the numbers began rapidly ticking down to zero. 10…9…8…7… My eyes stayed fixed.

Jack tapped the button with his index finger just as the timer hit zero. The numbers clicked back up to 108 only to begin counting down again. The breath I had been holding quickly escaped my lungs and I closed my eyes in a silent prayer. Whatever crisis we had been on the brink of was now averted.

"I'll take the first shift," Locke said, sitting down at the desk. He folded his hands and stared at the blank computer screen, the green cursor flashing.

Sayid took my arm and slowly pulled me away from the computer. "We will be back."

We emerged from the hatch and I squinted my eyes in the brilliant light as the sun set behind the trees. "Come, I need to get you back to the camp."

I let Sayid lead me back to my tent. He kissed my forehead and left me alone, my mind a blank slate for the moment. I couldn't think of anything except what might have happened if Jack hadn't pressed the button. We might have blown up; the world might have ended… I had no idea.

Reaching into my tent, I pulled out my notebook and pen. The possibly near-death experience gave me the ambition to do what I needed to do.

_Dear Mrs. Rutherford,_

_You don't know me, but I knew your son. I was on Oceanic Flight 815 when it crashed on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The middle section of the plane was thrown onto a secluded beach, and at the time of writing this, we've been here for 45 days._

_Boone and I met on the beach the first day, he was racing around and I found out later, he was trying to save a woman's life. This was my first of many encounters with your son. That evening, he offered me some of his candy bar and days later helped me pick fruit for the group. He stayed with me when I was frightened and made me laugh when I was down._

_We spent forty-one days together, only apart for hours at a time. I became very good friends with him and your stepdaughter Shannon. Without him, I might not be here today. _

_Boone had a very influential experience on this island and after it, he was a completely changed person. He stayed with me during the night, leaving Shannon by herself. I've always been terrified of being alone, and Boone helped me. He kept me safe at night and helped me during a very difficult time here._

_When one of our people was kidnapped, taken away from our camp into the jungle, Boone helped one of the search parties. She was found, though she wandered out of the jungle on her own. He was also the first one in the water to attempt to rescue a drowning woman and nearly succeeded._

_I love…loved your son, very much. I couldn't admit it at the time, not after only knowing him for just over a month, but I realize it now. Boone was a brave, caring, terrific man and not a minute goes by that I don't think of him, that I don't miss him. We've buried him nearby and I've visited him every day._

_Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of Boone. He promised me that once we were rescued he would take me to Malibu and introduce me to you. I hope that one day I might be able to meet you and deliver this letter myself. _

_Again, I am so, deeply sorry. He will forever be loved and missed._

_Sincerely,_

_Kalila M. Walker_

I stared down at the paper of my notebook. This was the hardest letter I had ever written, and I had no way of knowing if I would ever be able to send it. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes and I brushed them away, hoping they wouldn't land on the letter.

Sticking the letter near the back of my journal, I hoped that one day we would be rescued and I could deliver it personally to Boone's mother. The back half of my notebook should have been empty, only it wasn't. Tucked in between two pages was a folded piece of paper. I pulled it out and unfolded it.

_Dear Kalie,_

_I wonder if you will ever read this. You disappeared on me tonight, ran off into the jungle to chase after an apparition. I tried to follow you, I yelled after you, but you wouldn't stop and come back. Will you come back? I certainly hope so. John, Sayid and I are going out at first light to find you. I only hope it's soon enough. You don't know what's out there, what can hurt you._

_While I'm sitting here at the tent, waiting for you to return, I ripped paper out of your notebook. I hope you don't mind. I didn't read any of your journal, I promise. Though I was very tempted: do you write about me?_

_When I first met you, I was so confused. I didn't know why I felt the way I did. You were… are beautiful and shy. I was drawn to you, and I didn't know why. I felt like I had to protect you. That first night I spent with you, I knew. I almost didn't leave; I must have debated it for hours. But I did, I went back to Shannon and sat with her until morning when John came to get me. _

_In the woods, John gave me this paste… some hallucinogenic drug. I saw things; things that made me change my thinking. I don't think it turned out the way John wanted, but I'm happy. For the first time in months, years maybe, I'm happy. And it's because of you. _

_Sometimes I wake up before you and just watch you sleep. You're so beautiful. You cheer me up when I'm upset…_

_I'm sorry I didn't believe you 'Li. I should have at least listened to you. After everything that's happened on this island, I should have listened. I'm sorry._

_When we get off this island, I'm going to take you home with me. We can figure out what we're going to do then. But trust me on this, we will make this work. I'm not with you out of convenience. I really do care about you, truly._

_I'm going to put this in your notebook, maybe you'll find it one day when I'm off with John. I really like you Kalie. _

_Yours always,_

_Boone_

I stared down at the letter in my hands, tears running down my cheeks. He wrote this days ago, his fingers traced across this very page only days ago. I carefully folded the paper back and put it into the journal.

What would I have done had I found this and he was still alive? Would I have shown him the letter? Ignored it? Would I have sat next to him, kissed his cheek and smiled?

"I miss you," I whispered into the cool night air. My arms wrapped around my torso and I let the tears fall. "I miss you so much Boone it hurts. It feels like there's a huge hole in my heart that won't heal. I'm empty without you here."

* * *

**AN: I think this is a good start to Season 2. I'm still adding to my basic outline, but we're up to 28 chapters total at the moment before we move on to Season 5 in a different story (which I've already started writing :-D). However 28 is just an estimate, there are quite a few parts I need to elaborate on as I go. So thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think on your way out!**


	18. Social Again

**Chapter 18: Social Again, Day 47-48**

I woke up on the morning of November 7th with a smile on my face. In Connecticut, we had freezing temperatures and sometimes, snow flurries. But here we were, in the beginning of November and it was still 80 degrees during the day. My mind couldn't wrap about the concept.

I took a sip from my water bottle and pulled a piece of fruit from the side of my tent. This morning's breakfast would be water and papaya. My stomach growled and I longed for even just a bowl of cereal. Or French toast, bacon and eggs with strawberries on the side and a glass of cranberry juice. My mouth watered at the thought and I couldn't hold back a grin. Someday soon we'd be rescued and I'd get my favorite breakfast, but until then, Papaya and water it was.

Sitting outside the tent, I let the sun warm my legs while I ate. The waves were calm and a slightly breeze blew in from the ocean. It was beautiful.

"Kalie?" I looked up and grinned at Sayid who was walking up the beach to me. "I'm trying to build Shannon a new shelter and she has been snooping around. Would you be willing to do me a favor?"

I looked up into his brown eyes and nodded. "What would you like me to do?"

Kneeling down, he smiled at me. "I would like for you to keep her occupied if she starts looking for me. It is going to be a surprise and…" The smile on his face grew and I couldn't help but smile with him.

"Of course. She's been a lot nicer to me lately, and I'm sure I could find something to occupy her. Good luck." He patted my leg before standing up and walking away.

I let my eyes follow my brother back up the beach. I was happy that he and Shannon were getting along so well. Shannon needed a companion, someone to be with, and it wouldn't do him any harm either.

This was how I spent my entire morning, sitting outside the tent and reading. I knew that I should have walked up to the caves or even down the beach, but the rest of the survivors still looked at me strangely.

I was lying on my back with my eyes closed when someone stood over me, blocking out the sun. I opened my eyes quickly. "Shannon. You scared me."

"Sorry," she said as she kneeled in the sand next to me. "What are you doing this morning?"

I was in shock, she was talking to me? Without me initiating the conversation first? What did I do to deserve this honor? "I'm just sitting here. Not much to do."

She nodded and glanced off towards the ocean. "Do you know where Sayid is? I've been looking for him all morning."

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to keep the smile off my face. "I haven't seen him." My mind raced, trying to find some reason to keep her from wandering along the beach. "Did you want to walk with me? I need to refill my water bottles back at the caves." Mentally crossing my fingers, I hoped she say yes.

"Sure. I need to fill mine as well. I'll be right back." Shannon stood up and walked off towards the tent she used to share with Boone.

She returned a few minutes later and we left, walking on the path through the jungle to the caves. We walked in near silence, only talking to comment on a flower or something of that nature. Thankfully, it wasn't an awkward silence.

After filling up our water bottles, we walked back down to the beach. I made sure we walked straight to her tent. We didn't spend the afternoon gossiping like girls often did. We didn't even talk about Boone, much to my appreciation. She asked me questions about Sayid, and how I found out that he was my brother.

"I think he's a great guy Shannon," I replied. "And he seems to really like you."

"Do you think so?"

I tried to hide the excited smile from my face, and forced one that was thoughtful, or so I hoped. "Yes, I really think so."

We stayed together, chatting until the sun began to set down behind the trees. I bid her goodbye and walked past my tent to drop off my water bottles and pick up my blanket. The night grew cool once the sun set. The usual large fire was lit and several people were gathered around, talking quietly.

I sat beside Rose, watching Shannon and with Vincent. She poured water from her freshly filled water bottle into an old lunch box we had found. I said a silent prayer for Michael, Walt, Jin and Sawyer on their raft. Hopefully they were okay, maybe even rescued by now.

"How are you doing sweetie?" Rose asked, placing her hand over mine.

I forced a smile, "I'm okay, I suppose. I keep thinking he's going to come back at night and I find myself waiting."

"It'll pass," she said with a smile. "You'll get used to being alone." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her hand reach up to caress her necklace.

"That's your husband's wedding ring, right?"

Rose nodded and twisted the ring between her fingers. "His fingers swell when we fly so I always wear it on a chain."

"How do you know he's still alive?" I couldn't imagine having that feeling.

"It's just a feeling. I know he's still here. He's on this island somewhere, and we'll find him." Rose smiled and patted my hand again, lapsing into silence.

I stared out at the flames, watching them flicker and dancing in the warm breeze. A chill ran through my body and I pulled my blanket closer around me.

"Take care tonight," a soft voice said from behind me. I felt Sayid kneel in the sand beside me and place his hand on my back.

I smiled and turned around, meeting Sayid's brown eyes with my own. "Have you finished?"

He nodded, the smile growing across his lips. "Take care," he said again and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

I watched him stand up and walk over passed Shannon. "Come on," I heard him say.

"Where are we going?" She asked and I grinned. She turned to look at me and I waved, gesturing that she needed to follow him.

"What was that about?" Rose asked me and I laughed as Shannon gathered her things and followed my brother.

"Sayid built her a new shelter. I had to keep her occupied for most of the day so she wouldn't go find him." I looked back at the flames and continued to smile to myself. At least someone was happy, even if it wasn't me.

Rose and I fell into silence and after another half hour or so, I said goodnight and went to my tent for bed. I laid the blanket over the cushions and collapsed onto it. After saying a quick prayer, I stared up at the roof and waited until sleep took over. I managed to go through most of the day without worrying and thinking about Boone. Quite an improvement from days passed.

Sometime in the night, I woke up to the sound of screaming. I crawled out of the tent and walked down the beach to where Sayid and Shannon were standing. "Hey Kalie!" I glanced over and saw Charlie walking towards them as well. "Did you hear screaming?"

"That's what woke me up. Sayid! Shannon! What's going on?" I asked as we walked up to them.

"Nothing. It was just a bad dream." Sayid replied as Shannon glared at him.

"Are you all right Shannon?" I asked softly and she shot Sayid another glare before storming off, completely ignoring my question. I glanced at Sayid and he shrugged his shoulders, following after her. I wanted to go with her, to talk, but I didn't. I wasn't going to get involved.

*~*~*

The sun rose over the trees, bringing yet another morning to the island. Unlike the previous morning, I did not wake up with a smile on my face. I crawled out of the tent and walked down to the ocean. The water was cool and after splashing a few handfuls on my face, I was wide awake.

I walked down to where Hurley and Rose were hanging clothes on an improvised clothesline. "Good morning," I called to them as I approached. Hurley was laughing and I couldn't help but smile with him, even though I had no clue what was funny.

"Good morning Kalie," Rose said with a smile. She was always so nice, always friendly.

"Hey, do you guys know where Michael and Walt left their stuff that they didn't take with them on the raft?" Shannon asked, running her hand through her hair as she walked up to us. She was clean and her hair was pulled back in a rumpled pony tail. But she looked exhausted.

"What kind of stuff?" Hurley asked.

She shrugged, "clothes?"

"I think they're stuff's still on the beach." Hurley pointed out towards the camp and Shannon nodded. "Thanks," she said before walking away.

I moved to follow her, but Rose pulled my hand back. "Let her go. She's obviously trying to find something. Let her do it on her own. If she needs help she'll come find you."

"All right," I said with a slow nod of my head. "I'll be around if anyone's looking for me." I slowly walked across the beach and through the jungle, letting the tree branches scratch my arms.

I wasn't sure where I was going, but I needed to be alone. Making sure not to go too far into the trees, I kept the sand from the beach in my sights. That would be all I would need to do, get lost and have to be found by a search party. I stopped here and there, picking a few wildflowers and bunching them into a makeshift bouquet.

After brushing a few more branches aside, I stepped into the small meadow that was our cemetery. This hadn't been my intended destination, but I think my subconscious was leading me here. I looked up in shock when I saw Shannon sitting on a rock, staring at the wooden cross thrust into the ground.

"Hey Shannon," I said softly. "What are you doing here?" I stood off to the side, not wanting to interfere with her moment.

"I was looking for Walt. I saw him in my tent last night," she explained when I stared at her questioningly.

I sat on the ground, watching her. "You saw Walt? But he's on the raft." I was confused, beyond confused.

Shannon shook her head and looked down at the ground. "I'm not sure about that," she said softly and I looked up questioningly. "Claire found the bottle on the beach, the bottle with the messages."

"What?"

"Claire found the bottle on the beach and showed it to me and Sun. It's the one from the raft." She looked away from me as I continued to stare.

What happened to our raft? Were the men all right? Sawyer? Jin? Michael and Walt? "So you were looking for Walt? Why did you end up here?" I spoke quietly, trying not to upset her, but I was genuinely curious.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Shannon?" We both looked up at the sound of Sayid's voice. He walked through the trees and a look of shock crossed his face.

I stood up and brushed the dirt off my pants. "I'll leave you two alone." I quickly walked towards Boone's grave. Placing the bouquet of wildflowers on the mound of dirt by the cross headstone, I crossed myself and offered a final smile at Shannon.

As I walked through the trees into the jungle, I heard Sayid's voice carry across the cemetery. "I know what it is like to lose someone you care deeply about." I turned back towards the cemetery and watched the interaction between my brother and Shannon.

"Just go back, Sayid! Let me alone." Shannon stood up and began to walk away and Sayid followed her. I felt guilty for eavesdropping, but at the same time… No, I felt guilty. There was no excuse.

Shannon stormed off a few minutes later and Sayid trailed behind her. I stepped out from behind the trees and stared off after them. Should I get involved? "No Tinkerbelle," I said out loud. "You need to keep your nose to yourself. This isn't your problem."

I stood for a few minutes, watching the leaves blow in the gentle breeze. It was quiet here, just like a cemetery should be. I turned and knelt by the fresher of the two graves. "Hey," I whispered, the tears already welling in my eyes.

"We've gotten into your hatch, the one you and Locke found. There was a man down there, and now we have to press a button every 108 minutes to save the world. Locke has us on shifts. I haven't had to do one yet; I think people are still a bit wary of me." I brushed a stray tear from my cheek and smiled. "No one knows what to do with me. They either give me looks of pity or ignore me completely.

"Shannon's doing all right. I've managed to have a few decent conversations with her over the past few days, especially after we nearly died." A breeze blew through the cemetery and I couldn't help but smile.

I started humming and it took me a moment to realize what song was running through my head. "I never pictured every minute without you in it oh you left so fast." The new Leann Rimes song flowed through my head and I it was strange to think of how closely the chorus fit my situation. "You ought to see the way these people look at me. When they see me 'round here talking to this stone…" I let my voice trail off.

Shaking my head, I laughed once to myself and brushed the salt water tears from my cheeks. "I'm going to go now and not come back for a while. I need to deal with this and coming here all the time isn't going to help. I miss you," I said and stood up, brushing the dirt and twigs from my shorts.

"It is beautiful here," I turned and looked out over the water, watching the waves crest and swell. "This is the way a cemetery should look, green grass, beautiful trees…"

I glanced up at the sky and started walking out of the cemetery. Dark storm clouds were moving quickly across the island and I had to get back before the rain storm. I'd be lost in the trees for sure if that happened.

A loud boom of thunder caused me to jump a foot in the air. I forced myself to walk faster through the trees. I stopped and looked up towards the sky again as the rain began pounding down through the trees.

My legs moved faster and faster through the trees. Another crash of thunder, this time accompanied by a flash of lightening. I hate lightening.

Finally, I made it to the edge of the trees. I held on to the nearest one, watching the waves grow and crash onto the sand. A crack echoed through the trees and I spun on my spot. That noise was not thunder.

* * *

**AN: I apologize for the wait. But here's the newest chapter. Hope you like it. Please leave a review on the way out!**


	19. Another Death

**Chapter 19: Another Death, Day 48-52**

The loud crack startled me and I spun on my heel, turning to face the swaying trees. I knew the sound wasn't thunder, it wasn't 'booming' enough, just simply a loud crack. I was terrified that the noise was a gunshot. Sayid and Shannon were in the jungle along with whomever else. Were the 'others' finally coming to get us?

I took a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to find out what happened. I wasn't thrilled about going back into the woods, but someone might be hurt. The rain fell diagonally, hitting my face with an immense intensity.

Tripping over rocks, roots and stone, I walked as fast as I could towards the loud crack. I heard a twig snap near me and I stopped, my heart pounding in my chest. I turned in a slow circle, checking my surrounding area. Standing in the trees a short way off was a tall, black man carrying someone. Oh goodness it was Sawyer.

I met the man's eyes and stared in shock. What should I do? Run away? Run forward? The man seemed to be in the same predicament, unsure of how to react.

"Who are you?" He called out after a few moments of staring.

"Ka... Kalie Walker," I replied after a moment's hesitation. "I'm a survivor of Oceanic Flight 815."

The man moved a step closer and I a step backward. "I too was on that plane, but in the tail end."

"What happened to Sawyer?" I asked loudly, impressed with my false bravado.

"Are you with his camp?" The man asked, walking slowly towards me again.

I nodded slowly and this time, remained fixed to my spot. "Yes. What happened?"

"He has been shot. I'm taking him back to your camp, to your doctor. Can you show me the way?" The man spoke in heavily accented English.

My mind raced a mile a minute, trying to decide what to do. Should I take him? If Sawyer was truly hurt, he needed medical attention; he needed to be brought to Jack. But this man might be an 'Other', and he might have shot Sawyer on his own. "Sure," I heard myself saying. "It's back this way."

I turned and began walking quickly towards the hatch. I wasn't exactly sure where Jack was at the moment, but someone at the hatch would know. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I do not know," the man said softly. Our conversation died and we walked in complete silence. Every so often, I looked back, just making sure he was still behind me and still had Sawyer.

We walked through the jungle, stepping over rocks and roots. I tripped several more times, but thankfully the rain had stopped and the mud was slowly drying. Light began breaking through the tree branches and I knew we were getting close to the edge. Which edge of the forest, I wasn't completely sure, but it was definitely near our camp.

"Jack," I said breathlessly. He was standing with Kate, holding a golf club.

The man interrupted me before I could even explain. "Where is the doctor?"

Kate gasped and Jack stared. All was silent for thirty seconds before the man handed Sawyer to Jack and we all raced to the hatch. Kate and I pulled the door open, letting Jack walk in first and head down the hall.

"Where are we headed?" Kate asked, following Jack through the maze of hallways.

"Bathroom," he said simply. "We have to get his fever down."

I stood back, letting Kate and Jack take over. The man stayed behind me, and when I glanced back, he was looking around the hatch in interest.

"Kate, in the medical stash there's a bottle of Ofloxacin…"

"Ofloxacin?"

Jack laid Sawyer in the shower, pulling his shirt aside to see the gunshot wound. "Ofloxacin, little white pills. Bring alcohol and gauze, and then put clean sheets on the bed. Kate, can you do that?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Kate nodded and went off, a dazed, concerned look on her face.

"What happened?" I jumped as Locke spoke; I hadn't even noticed him walk in.

The beep from the timer sounded and I turned to where the computer was. "Locke, the button," Jack said, turning on the shower to try and cool Sawyer.

I watched Locke disappear again and the man stared at a Dharma logo on the wall. "Jack, is he going to be all right?" I asked softly, knowing it was a stupid question before it even left my mouth.

He shrugged and turned back to me. "If we can get his fever down…"

I nodded and backed away, walking down the hall to where Locke was standing with the man. "I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name." I crossed my arms across my chest and stood with my back to the bathroom.

"My name is Eko. I was in the tail section of the plane," Eko said, his eyes still scanning the room.

"The tail section?" Locke asked, obviously interested. "How many of you survived? Where have you been this whole time?"

"There are four of us. We had a camp on the other side of the island, on the beach." He didn't seem to want to elaborate, so Locke asked more questions.

"What happened? Out there?"

The man took in a deep breath and sighed. "There was an accident."

"An accident?" I asked softly. Obviously there was an accident, Sawyer was shot.

"What kind of accident?"

"A girl was shot. And killed."

I inhaled quickly. Someone else had been shot? A girl? "What did she look like?" Locke asked, taking a step closer to me.

"Tall, with blonde hair. And there was an Arab man."

Tears welled in my eyes as Locke placed a hand on my shoulder. "Shannon," I said softly. "Is he all right? The Arab man?"

"He is… not well at the moment. Ana Lucia overreacted after shooting the girl. He, your friend, tried to shoot her. Ana tied him up."

"You said there were four of you in the tail section. Why didn't they come back?" Locke gently squeezed my shoulder as I let the tears fall. Shannon was gone. Oh Sayid!

"They can not come right now." Eko looked directly at Locke, ignoring me completely as it seemed.

"Can you take me to them?"

Eko turned and looked at the guns in the vault. "No," he said with a shake of his head.

We stepped aside, letting Jack carry Sawyer into the sleeping area. I followed slowly, leaving Locke to talk to Eko in the computer room. Kate hurried passed with a glass of water.

"Why is he shaking?" Kate asked, after placing the glass on the bedside table.

"The infection got in his bloodstream. If the antibiotics don't bring his fever down…" Jack trailed off and I finished the rest of his sentence in my head,_ he wouldn't make it._

Kate and Jack tried to get Sawyer to swallow the antibiotics and I stepped back again, retreating to the living area. I pulled a book off the shelf and sat down, but I didn't read. The letters on the page blurred as I stared at them. All I wanted to do was go to Sayid. If Shannon was dead… my poor brother.

Eko and Locke followed me a few minutes later, sitting in chairs in silence. "Where are they?" I looked up as Jack walked into the room, trying to make contact with Eko. "I said where are they?"

"Jack," Locke interrupted. "It's not his fault…"

"Shannon's dead! I'm not…" Jack trailed off, pacing in a small line.

I watched him walk and I tried to keep the tears from resurfacing. They argued, rather Jack argued, Locke tried to pacify the situation and Eko sat in silence. I tended to agree with Locke, it wasn't this man's fault Shannon was dead, or was it? We really didn't know what happened in the jungle, how Sawyer was shot or how exactly Shannon was killed.

"Jack!" A voice echoed through the hall and Sun appeared with Michael trailing behind.

Jack turned to the hall. "Hey Michael," The two men clasped hands.

"We've got a problem," Michael said, looking into the living room, directly at Eko. The tall man had stood up and was watching the scene carefully.

"Jack, what are you doing?" I exclaimed, jumping up and following him down the hall. "Jack!"

He loaded the rifles, "you remember how to get out there, right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Jack, I really think we need to think about this." Locke appeared behind me and for the first time in a while I agreed with him. I thought we needed to think about it, before acting, but I wasn't involved, as usual.

"Shannon's dead and Sayid's been tied up. If you want to wait around and see if this situation resolves itself, be my guest?" Jack walked out of the vault and handed Michael a rifle. "Do you know how to use this?"

"Yes," Michael said and followed behind Jack.

"Stop!" I spun, as did the three men, spun to face Eko. Walking forward a few paces, Eko held out his hand. "Please. What do you want?"

"Excuse me?" Jack stepped forward a few steps.

"Peace? Revenge? Justice? What do you want?"

Jack closed the gap between him and Eko. "I want all my people back here safe. You're friend…"

"Ana Lucia made a mistake."

"What did you say?" Jack asked softly.

"Ana Lucia made a mistake.

Shaking his head, Jack looked downward. "Ana Lucia," he said again. There was silence, no one spoke nor moved.

"I will take you," Eko said. "But only you."

I stepped back and took a deep breath. "Jack? What do you want me to do?" I asked, unsure of if he knew what I meant.

Jack turned, meeting my eyes and I knew he understood what I meant. "Kalie, stay here. We'll bring him back."

I watched Jack and Eko walk out, leaving me with Sun, Michael and Locke. Sun took my hand in hers and squeezed it lightly. I forced a smile and whispered, "thank you."

"Kalie, what happened? Michael only told me we had to hurry." Sun gently pulled me away from the men, out towards the door of the hatch. Kate had gone back to sit with Sawyer.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes with my free hand. "I met that man, Eko, in the jungle and he was carrying Sawyer. He told Locke and me that a woman was shot and killed. It was Shannon. And that Sayid was tied up and being held at gunpoint. That's all I know. Did Michael say where Jin was?"

"He said that my husband was fine." Sun smiled, "he should be back here soon."

"Come, let's go to the beach. That will be the first place Jin goes to look for you." Sun smiled and we walked through the trees to the hot sand.

I followed Sun to her tent and we gathered a few things to clean in the ocean. We sat by the shore. And I let the water rush over my legs. We didn't speak, just went about our business.

A noise caught my attention and I turned to look up the beach. People were gathering in a large crowd. "Sun," I whispered. She looked up and I pointed across the sand to the crowd. Jin began running towards us and Sun dropped the shirt she was washing to run towards him. I couldn't hold back the grin that crossed my face as they embraced. It is so nice to see a happy ending.

I stood up and brushed the sand off my pants. Rose was hugging a man off to the side and I smiled again. People were happy all around me.

The cheering and laughing people were much too happy for me, so I left. I walked away to my tent and crawled inside. Reaching under my mattress, the mattress built for two people, I pulled out the battered journal and old pen.

_Dear Journal, __November 8, 2005: Day 52_

_I haven't written since Oct. 30__th__ when I wrote about seeing James in the jungle. So much has happened since then and I don't know where to begin. I suppose starting at the beginning would be a smart idea, even if it tears me to pieces. Boone and I were woken up from a sound sleep by none other than John Locke the other morning (Nov. 1__st__). Boone went off into the jungle with Locke, but not before kissing me good-bye and saying he'd be back early._

_He did come back early, Locke carried him into the caves on his back. Boone's stomach ripped open and his leg broke with scratches and bruises all over his body. His face was bloody and he was gasping in pain. I was nearly sick to my stomach. To his credit, Jack tried his hardest. He sewed up Boone's chest and set his leg while Sun and I cleaned up the scratches. Jack even gave Boone a blood transfusion of his own blood. I sat with him for hours on end. _

_But in the end, nothing was enough. He died in our makeshift infirmary after telling Jack to stop. I held his hand as he took his last breath. I broke. My heart broke into pieces and I don't know if they'll ever be put back together. At the time, I didn't realize how much he meant to me. I don't know if it's because he was my first 'real' boyfriend or if it's because he's gone now. But I loved him and I think we might have been able to make this work, even off this island._

_Shannon tried to kill him, Locke. She stole the key to the gun case from around Jack's neck and went into the jungle to find him. Sayid, Kate, Jack and I raced after her and thankfully, Sayid managed to stop her. It may be his fault Boone's dead, but I wouldn't want him to be killed, especially by Shannon. _

_And now Shannon's dead as well, murdered by one of the tail section survivors. She thought Shannon was an 'Other' and shot before asking questions. I haven't seen Sayid, the woman had him tied up but supposedly he's back now. _

I looked down at the notebook in my lap, stained with fresh tear drops. The ache in my heart was so strong, especially now while I sat in the tent alone. After a quick glance down at a watch I found in the wreckage, I closed the notebook and hid it under the mattress. It was time to sleep, if I could.

We had lost five people since the crash: the U.S. Marshall, Joanna, Scott, Boone and Shannon. How many more would die before we were rescued?

* * *

**AN: Rather quick update, but I've had this chapter written for a while. **

**Now this will be my own little rant: I hate begging for reviews, absolutely hate it. But I know people are reading this (or just repeatedly looking at the chapter). Is it really difficult to leave a few words on what you thought? I have 3 very dedicated reviewers (kobrakai-vs-dragonninja, Jac Danvers and the werewolf girl), but I would love to hear from more of you. I take everything from positive feedback to constructive criticism.**

**Thank you so much for reading! Lots of love.**


	20. Realities of Life

**Chapter 20: Realities of Life, Day 49-52**

I crawled out of my tent the next morning, slightly confused about the events of the previous day. I kept telling myself that it didn't really happen.

After changing shirts and eating breakfast, I went walking around the beach. Sun and Jin were awake and smiling. I waved as I walked past and they both waved back. I continued following the trail and walked to our cemetery. Stopping mid-stride, I felt my throat constrict. My brother was in a hole, a growing hole, digging Shannon's grave. "Sayid," I whispered, tears filling my eyes again.

He didn't look up, just kept shoveling the hole with a tree branch. "Sayid," I whispered again, a bit louder this time. My brother looked up, his eyes red and bloodshot. "I'm so sorry." I took a step closer, then another. "Can I help?"

Sayid shook his head. "Thank you, but I can do it."

I sat in the dirt near the grave, watching him dig. He finished about thirty minutes later, tossing the branch into the nearby trees. He climbed out of the hole and I stood up, walking towards him. My arms wrapped around his waist and held him tightly. His chin rested on the top of my head and his arms wrapped around me. We held each other; and I tried to offer as much comfort as I could.

"Come with me. I need to change clothes." We walked down the beach with our hands held together. I saw him visibly cringe when he walked into the tent he had built for Shannon.

I stood off to the side, away from the tent. When Sayid emerged, he had changed from his black tank into a grey polo. He had a small object in his hand, beads it appeared to be, but I didn't mention it. I didn't want to intrude on the moment more than I already was.

We walked back to the cemetery in silence, holding hands tightly. We were both alone again on the island, but we had each other. That had to count for something.

Sayid, Adam and Paulo gently lowered Shannon's body into the shallow grave and I felt the tears well in my eyes once again. Shannon may not have been my favorite person on the island, but she wasn't awful. After Boone's death, she even became personable and had we had more time, we possibly could have been friends.

Everyone gathered by the grave and I held Sayid's hand tightly. I remembered what he did for me during Boone's funeral and I wanted to do the same for him. My eyes flickered over to the cross next to Shannon's grave. I forced myself to focus on the moment at hand. Sayid dropped my hand and began fingering the beads. Finally he took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Shannon and I were strangers here. We never would have met if… we wouldn't even have spoken if… but we did meet and we did speak. At least…" Sayid trailed off, tears streaming down his face. "I loved her," he said, looking away from the grave.

I raised my hand to place on his back, but pulled it away. I wasn't sure if he would want comfort or to be left alone. He walked away a few seconds later and I fought with myself to follow him. Instead I stayed, staring down into the grave, staring at the grey tarp.

Everyone looked around at one another, no one moving, no one saying a word. I took a step forward and filled my lungs with fresh air. "My first memory of Shannon was the night of the crash. She was sitting on a blanket, giving herself a pedicure." There were a few chuckles of people remembering. "I wasn't fond of her in the beginning and up until quite recently she wasn't my biggest fan either." I took a deep breath, "She will be missed, not only by Sayid but us all."

Jack walked up and reached down, grabbing a handful of dirt from the pile. "May she rest in peace," Jack said, crumbling the handful of dirt into the hole.

The rest of the survivors followed suit, reaching down to grab a handful of dirt then dropping it into the hole. I led the line after Jack, and then went off to find my brother. He might want company, but then maybe not.

I looked everyone, the caves, the beach, his tent. I asked several people if they had seen him after the funeral and no one could say they had. Sayid Jarrah was no where to be found.

I refused to go to back to the cemetery; I had spent far too much time there. So I went back to my tent and sat outside, people watching. The mood of the camp was somber; everyone was seemed to still be thinking about the funeral.

The day passed slowly and late that evening, I wandered the beach, stopping to talk to people gathered by the fires. People weren't as wary as me as they were before and I found myself comforted. Rose introduced me to her husband, Bernard. He had been in the tail section bathroom and survived with the three others, Libby, Eko and Ana Lucia.

Libby seemed all right, as did Eko. Ana Lucia on the other hand, I wasn't sure how I felt about her. Putting aside the fact that she murdered Shannon, it was an awful accident after all, she seemed to have a heavy chip on her shoulder. She hadn't come to the funeral and was sitting alone up the beach. I watched Jack go talk to her, but she didn't join us once darkness fell.

I waited until many people retreated to their tents before looking again for Sayid. This time, I found him. He was sitting outside the tent he built for Shannon, just sitting. I sat next to him and took his left hand in mine.

We didn't speak, simply sat in silence. He cried, so softly I barely knew he was, aside from the sniffle every once in a while. "We are both alone now," he said quietly. I nearly didn't hear him.

"I'm so sorry Sayid." I squeezed his hand.

"I know Kalila. I too am sorry. For both you and for me."

Sayid lapsed into silence and I followed. I didn't want to interrupt whatever thoughts he was having. If his were anything like mine when Boone died, he wouldn't want to be interrupted.

I fell asleep a short while later and when I woke up, my head was in Sayid's lap and I was still holding his hand. "Did you sleep well?" Sayid asked after I had sat up and he removed his hand from my grasp.

"No," I replied, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"You screamed. Did you have a nightmare?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes."

He didn't ask and I didn't tell. The nightmare shook me and I could still see the images in my mind. Shannon and Boone appeared to me, battered, bloody and bruised. They told me more people were going to die and pointed at me. I screamed in the nightmare and apparently screamed in real life as well. But I didn't wake up and the nightmare faded away.

I shivered and Sayid wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking my head, I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "No, thank you. I need to get breakfast and bathe…" I trailed off and looked at my surroundings. "I'll be back."

I stood up and walked down the beach to my tent. Grabbing a blanket and fresh clothes, I headed down to the caves to wash up. I soaked the blanket in the cool, clean water and ran it over my arms and legs, getting rid of the sweat and sand. I wiped my face and splashed cool water on it. The visions of the previous night's nightmare were slowly fading away. But I could still see Boone and Shannon's faces when I closed my eyes.

After folding my blanket and changing into my fresh clothes, I walked back down the path to the beach. The day was starting off warm, but a cool breeze blew past every once in a while. It lifted my hair off my neck and blew fly-aways into my eyes.

I reached the sand and scanned the area. Sun was standing outside her tent. Tracey was laughing with Steve. Charlie and Claire were arguing with Eko standing in the background. I walked up to them, hoping to talk to someone that wasn't my brother. "Someone's waiting for you," Claire said, turning away from Charlie

"Charlie?" I asked as I walked up to the tent he shared with Claire.

"Not now Kalie." He glanced up at Eko, "I have to go. I'll be back." He walked off into the trees, followed closely behind by Eko.

I watched them walk away, and then turned to Claire. "What's going on?"

She adjusted the blanket around a sleeping Aaron. "It's a long story."

"I'm a good listener," I offered, shrugging my shoulders.

Claire looked up from her baby and smile. "Thanks, maybe some other time."

I nodded and watched Claire attend to baby Aaron. To think, just a month ago she wanted nothing to do with the baby. That was why she was on the plane, to give him up for adoption. And now she loved him.

"If you need me, I'm around." I smiled and walked away, leaving Claire with Aaron, like she wanted.

I dropped my belongings back at my tent then ventured back into the jungle towards the Hatch. There were bookcases in the living room and I had run out of things to read. Sawyer had always lent me a few when I asked him, but I needed new material. I know, strange for Sawyer to lend anyone anything.

"Anyone here?" I called loudly, hearing my voice echo through the halls. "Hello?" No one answered and I retreated to the living room, glancing through the bookshelves. I pulled out a few book, glancing at their back covers. Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six caught my eye and I pulled it out, collapsing into a cushy chair by the faux window.

I let myself get lost in the story, keeping one ear open to listen for the beeping timer. Twenty minutes after I came in, I heard footsteps in the hallway. I looked up, "hey Michael. What are you doing in here?"

He looked up, seemingly surprised to see me. "Hey, uh… I took Kate's shift in the hatch, to keep my mind off things." Michael looked around the living room. "So are you going to be here for a while?"

My eyebrows narrowed and I dog-eared the book, closing it slowly. "I was planning on it. There's not much for me to do at the beach. Why do you ask?"

He smiled, "good. I'll have someone to keep me company. I'd imagine it gets pretty lonely here alone. I don't know how that guy survived so long."

"Yeah, it must be lonely." I opened the book and went back to reading, looking up a few minutes later to find Michael gone.

I stayed for a few more minutes, listening for the timer to start going off. I wasn't sure how much time was left, but I figured Michael could handle it. It wasn't my shift, but I was still worried. If what I was told is true, if we didn't press the button, we'd all die. And personally, dying wasn't on my list of things to do.

"Hey Kalie," Jack said walking into the living room. "It's not your shift, is it?"

I picked up my book. "No, Michael's in with the computer. I was just leaving." I walked out of the room with a small wave. Where could I go to have some peace and quite? Obviously not here, and not at the beach either.

My only option, wander though the trees. I let myself walk away from the Hatch and into the trees. I wasn't headed in any specific direction, just away from people.

I walked through the trees, taking care to step over rocks and tree roots. I didn't want to break any bones here. No where in the forefront of my mind did I think about being rescued. We'd been here for just over a month and by this point, I just wanted to survive. Yes, I still had dreams of being rescued, hope and wishes, but I didn't really believe it.

A twig snapped behind me and I spun, looking around carefully. I ducked behind a tall bush a short distance from the path I had been following and watched. Seconds melted into minutes as I watched and waited. I thought I might have been hearing things, and almost stood back up. Then finally, people emerged, walking through the trees along the path. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. They were barefoot and wearing long dirty clothing. I didn't look up, but kept my eyes level with the path. A child carried a ragged teddy bear.

My breath hitched in my throat and I tried to keep myself calm. Who were these people? Were they 'Others?'

They walked passed and I waited a few more minutes until I was sure they were gone. Slowly, my heart rate returned to normal and my breathing slowed. I stood up and quickly shook out my leg, which had fallen asleep during my crouching. The path led right back to where I started and I traveled quickly, hoping to avoid the strange people. I was terrified, but forced myself to keep that buried within me.

I started at the Hatch. It was the last place I had seen Jack, so I figured he might still be there. No one but Locke was there, Michael and Jack long gone. The caves were my next stop, but no success there either.

"Charlie, I don't want you sleeping anywhere near us, okay?" Claire's voice was the first thing I heard when I emerged from the jungle of trees. I stood back, startled by the scene before me. But I couldn't worry about that now, I had to find Jack.

I shook my head and ventured on. Claire and Charlie's 'marital' problems couldn't be my concern, not right now. "Hey Sun," I called, walking up the shore. "Have you seen Jack recently?"

"Kalie. He was down the beach with Sawyer and Kate. But I haven't seen him since," she pointed down the sand.

"Thank you." I followed her direction and walked down the beach. "Jack!" I called, running by the point. He turned and waited for me to reach him. "Jack, you're not going to believe what I just saw."

"What?" He turned to me, his eyes fixed in disbelief.

I took a deep breath and tried to slow my heart. I wasn't a runner and even this short run had taken its toll. "I was in the jungle, further out from the hatch. I know, I know, I shouldn't be out that far," I added after seeing his face. "But I needed sometime alone. I saw a group of people walking in the jungle. I think it was them… the 'Others.'

I couldn't recognize the look on his face, but it wasn't pleasant. "Were they headed towards camp, or away from camp?"

"Away. They were going further into the jungle, but I don't think they came from here either." I felt much better now, now that I had told someone what I had seen. Jack would know what to do, considering he was our 'unofficial' leader.

"Thanks Kalie. Try not to go that far into the jungle again. Sayid won't be happy if something happens to you." Jack didn't need to add the last part. I knew how mad Sayid would be if he found out, especially after he just lost Shannon.

I nodded at Jack and walked back down the sand. "Charlie," I said softly, walking up to him. He was sitting in the sand, his suitcase on one side and his guitar on the other. "Charlie," I tried again. I sat in the sand next to him and placed my hand around his. "Want to talk about it?"

He sighed, "She thinks I'm using again."

"What would give her that idea?" I kept my hand on his and watched the sun set over the ocean.

"I found a statue in the jungle, by the beach craft. It had heroin in it." I nodded, but didn't say anything. "I'm not using," he said forcefully. "I'm clean. It was just… it was comforting to have it near I guess."

I nodded and looked over at him. "I believe you. You haven't given me any reason to think otherwise." I dropped his hand and stood up. "Do you need a place to stay? I've got room…" I trailed off.

Charlie turned, a sad smile on his face. "You don't mind?"

"No, I don't. Come on." I picked up his guitar case while he picked up his suitcase and together we walked up to my tent.

I crawled in and separated the two groups of airplane cushions, making two separate beds. After draping one blanket over Charlie's cushions, I called him in. He crawled through the door and set his suitcase on the side. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Yes Charlie, I'm sure. Get some sleep and we'll figure it out in the morning." Charlie smiled and lay on the cushions, his head resting on my extra pillow. I lay my head on my pillow and shut my eyes. It was nice having someone around, someone here, and I fell asleep almost immediately.

When my eyes opened the next morning, Charlie was gone. The blankets were folded up nicely and the suitcase resting on top. I stretched my arms out, my fingers touching the top of the tarp. Another morning, another day was starting. Another day where we had to survive.

* * *

**AN: Hello! This is somewhat of a 'fluffy' chapter, but it will have significance later. I added a few things ot the storyline (i.e. Charlie staying with Kalie and the "Others" sighting. Well, let me know what you think! Thank you to my 3 faithful reviewers!**


	21. Soap Opera Island

**Chapter 21: Soap Opera Island, Day 52-53**

Day fifty-two started off without any major problems. Charlie was gone when I woke up, off to somewhere unknown and the island was quiet. I stretched and crawled out of the tent, dragging my small backpack with me. Today would be a good day to sit and write.

"Hey Sawyer," I called as I walked up to where he was resting. "How are you feeling?"

He cracked a smile and opened his eyes, looking up at me. "I feel as good as a guy can after having an infected bullet wound. How about you Tinkerbelle?"

"I'm doing all right." I leaned back, a sad smile on my face. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Thanks but I'm good right here." He leaned back in the seat, stretching his hands behind his head. "Especially now with Freckles here."

I turned and saw Kate had appeared behind me. "Well," I said with a smile. "I'll leave you two alone." Kate moved over to Sawyer as I backed away. Shaking my head, I turned and walked down the beach to where Sayid was seated.

Today he wasn't sulking or sitting sullenly while staring out over the ocean. He was still sitting alone, but he looked comfortable. Not content, not distraught, but comfortable. "Hey big brother," I said softly, walking up to him.

Sayid looked up, his bloodshot eyes not as red. "Hello Kalie. How are you this morning?"

"I'm well." I sat down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Charlie stayed with you last night?" It wasn't quite a question, but I felt I had to give an explanation.

'He had a fight with Claire," I paused. "And I don't like staying alone. "

Sayid nodded, "which is one reason Boone stayed with you."

"Yes," I whispered.

"You miss him?" Another statement disguised as a question.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Every day," I managed to whisper.

"That is how I feel about Shannon…" Sayid picked up a stick from the sand and began breaking it into tiny pieces.

I nodded again, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry," I said softly. I knew how I felt, but I still didn't know my brother very well. Who knows what he was feeling and if it was anything like what I was.

"It's fine. This is not something I share quite often." Sayid fell into silence and I followed. "I have done many things in my life I am not proud of, and I know I will do a great many more."

I cocked my head sideways and turned to look at him, but his eyes never left the water. What was he talking about? I shook my head and looked back out over the water. "Do you need anything? Water? Fruit?"

"No, thank you Kalila."

"Okay, well I'm going to go see if I can find Charlie. I'll stop by later." Standing up, I placed a soft kiss on the top of his head and lightly squeezed his shoulder.

Taking off my shoes, I walked barefoot through the sand. Growing up, I always wanted to go to the beach, but Daddy didn't like the sand. Now I understand why; it's gritty and gets everywhere.

I walked slowly to the hatch after checking the camp for Charlie. Sun said Hurley had come up here, maybe Charlie had as well. He was.

"Have you been hiding out here all day?" I asked, sitting on the armrest of Charlie's chair.

"Nearly. Hey, have you ever heard of Geronimo Jackson?" Charlie asked, pointing to the record sleeve on the bookshelf.

I glanced over at the sleeve, looking at the bright picture on the front. "No, looks like something from the 1970's though, with those clothes." The music from the record player flowed through the living room.

"Think Claire's missed me yet?" Charlie asked, looking up at Hurley.

"Dude, it's been a day." Hurley responded as I struggled to hold back a smile. It wasn't very nice of me to make fun of Charlie's pain, but I had to agree with Hurley. It had only been a day.

Standing up, I walked over and sat in one of the chairs in a far corner with a book from the shelf. The three of us sat in relative silence; the only sound being the music from the record player.

"This music is quite depressing." I turned and looked up at my brother. He had changed into grey pants and a brown tank. I wasn't sure what to make of him anymore. He loved a woman, but became involved with Shannon? What awful things had he done in the past?

Hurley sat forward, "we can change it dude. Did you ever hear of Geronimo Jackson?"

"I'm afraid not. Where are Jack and Locke?" Sayid's hands were in his pockets and his voice low, but he wasn't crying anymore.

"Oh, they went after Michael."

"Michael?" I closed the book and leaned forward. "Where did Michael go?"

"Yeah," Charlie started. "He ran off after Walt again. Everyone's gone after him."

I left a short while later. Sayid disappeared, leaving Charlie and Hurley to continue their conversation about girls. As much fun as that topic of conversation was, I didn't need to hear it. Besides, Charlie was pining over Claire and it was starting to get irritating.

I brushed leaves aside on the path back to our beach camp. Grinning, I knelt next to Claire in the sand and watched her with baby Aaron.

"Did you want to hold him?" Claire asked, holding Aaron up.

I leaned back nervously. "No… no thanks. I don't do well with babies. My father swears I dropped my little brother when he was a baby."

Claire chuckled but continued to hand the baby to me. "Here, sit here," she said, gesturing to a log by the cradle. I sat and she handed Aaron over. I gently cradled his head and smiled down at him. He was a cute baby, I had to admit that. "See, not that bad, is it?"

"No," I said softly, looking down at the small baby in my arms. "So what's going on with you and Charlie?" I asked after a moment's pause. I didn't want to intrude, but I wanted to hear her side of the story.

Claire shook her head and fiddled with the blankets in Aaron's crib. "It's a long story, that I'm sure he's already told you." She spoke curtly, not meeting my eyes.

"Yes, he did. But I wanted to hear your side. I consider both of you my friends…" I trailed off, jiggling Aaron.

"As much as I appreciate it, I don't think I should talk about this with you. Charlie's your friend as much as I am and I don't want you to get in the middle of this. We'll be fine and if not… then it wasn't meant to be."

I nodded, smiling down at the baby in my arms. This was beginning to be like the soap operas my girlfriends watched. Drama, romance… our island had it all!

*~*~*

Day fifty-three. I'm almost ready to stop counting. There's no hope that we're going to be rescued, everyone has basically forgotten. No, that's not true. Many people hold hope, but not many actually believe it. Charlie was gone again, possibly long before I had even awoken.

I changed clothes, ate a mango, drank some water and pulled out my journal. I wrote about the new people, our Tail survivors. After flipping back a few pages, I realized I never went into any detail on their appearance or behavior. So far, I liked Libby the best. She was nice and she seemed ready to help with whatever we needed. Libby was quite the opposite of Ana, who was stand-offish and stayed by herself. Eko had become attached to Locke and depending on how you looked at it, Charlie. Bernard seemed like he'd been here the whole time. He fit in so well with Rose I had to consciously think that he wasn't with us the whole time.

I was at an impasse. I was tired, had a sunburn, and sick of eating fruit. It was November 13th, and I should be taking midterm exams and preparing for my performance jury. I should be worrying about Music History, World Music and my method classes. I should be worrying about going home for the Thanksgiving and winter holidays. I should not be worrying about whether or not I would have enough food or whether we would survive long enough to get rescued.

Shaking my head, I tossed the journal into a corner and crawled out of the tent. The sun was high in the sky and I couldn't figure out what time it was. Sometime around noon I figured.

As I walked down the beach, I waved at people I passed. Jin was fishing off-shore and Sun was watching, Libby and Hurley were fixing her tent, Steve was reading with Tracey and Nikki was fighting with Paulo. I shook my head as I walked passed. Everyone had something to do, someone to be with.

I crawled into my tent and lay back on my cushions. Charlie hadn't returned yet and I couldn't help but wonder where he had gone off to. Hopefully, he hadn't gone to talk to Claire.

My eyes slowly closed and I focused on listening to the waves lightly crash against the shoreline. I fell asleep.

"Kalie?" My eyes opened and I reached up to rub the sleepiness from my eyes. Charlie was kneeling over me, a smile on his face. "Wake up Kalie."

I sat up and blinked at him. "Yes? What's going on?"

"Jack and the rest are back. And Sayid was looking for you." Charlie leaned back on his heels and looked down at me. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I had a strange dream is all." I forced a smile that I hope was realistic and laughed. "I just need to wash my face. I'm fine, Charlie." I repeated, seeing the look on his face.

"Long as you say so. I'm heading to see what Hurley's up too. Maybe we can play a round of golf." Charlie crawled out of the tent, leaving me to stare after him.

I had had a strange dream. _James grinned at me while Boone stood behind him, my favorite smile on his face. "There's something I want you to have," Boone said. "You'll see it when you wake up."_

"_I love you Kalie," James whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, I did try. Love you sis."_

They faded away once Charlie woke up me up and here I was, looking around to figure out what Boone wanted me to have. I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair. What I wouldn't give for a hairbrush right now! My hair kept growing, but thankfully the curls had started to diminish and were just heavy waves.

After rubbing my face quickly with my hands, I slowly crawled out of the tent. "What the…?" I asked, stopping mid-crawl. Something had fallen off my stomach when I sat up. I picked up the object and gasped. It was the necklace Boone always wore. The last time I saw it, someone had draped it over the cross above his grave. And now, here it was.

I placed it around my neck and crawled out of the tent. "Charlie!" I called, stumbling as I tried to run before I had fully stood. "Charlie!"

He turned and cocked his head sideways. "What are you yelling for?"

"Did you put this in my tent?" I held up the necklace. "This was on Boone's cross. Did you put it there?"

"No. Why do you think I would do that? I'm cruel Kalie." He turned and walked away. What? If Charlie didn't, then who did?

I don't believe in ghosts, spirits maybe but definitely not ghosts. Could Boone have put it there? I shivered in the warm sun and put it around my neck again. I would bring it back to the cemetery later.

* * *

**AN: Rather short chapter. Not too happy with it but let me know what you think!**

**On a side note... did you see the finale?! OMG I screamed at my tv! Anyway, I've already planned out (and written) the Season 5 section. I can't wait to post it and let you all read it! I love it! **

**Thanks for reading and please leave a quick review on your way out!**


	22. Fire and Water

**Chapter 22: Fire and Water, Day 54-57**

After everyone had been pushing the button for days now, I had my first shift in the hatch. I did my usual morning routine, washed up, ate breakfast and went for a walk before heading down to the hatch.

I stopped off in the living area to pick up a book, Dirty Work by Stuart Woods, to give me something to do while waiting for the few seconds I would have something important to accomplish. No one else was going to be around and I didn't want to stare at the wall for the next four hours. Nor did I want John Locke to stay and keep me company.

"You're sure you're ready for this?" Locke leaned against the doorframe and watched me. I walked into the computer room and took a quick glance around.

I rolled my eyes, "yes John."

"Now you remember the code?" Locke asked for the tenth time as I sat down in front of the computer.

"Yes John. 4-8-15-16-23-42, I remember." I opened the book and leaned back in the chair. I kept my eyes focused on the book, but could feel Locke's eyes boring into me.

Locke stood over me, looking down. He stayed there for a few minutes, just watching. "Kate is supposed to have the shift with you, so she should be here in a few minutes." He paused and this time, I looked up. "I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. _Any _of it."

I met his eyes and nodded. "I know." I shut the book and glared up at him. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. And now we all have to deal with the consequences. If you had just left this damn hatch alone, Boone would still be alive and we wouldn't be pressing a button to save the world."

Locke nodded, "true. But we there was a reason for this… one we just haven't found out yet." He turned and I watched him walk away, finally leaving me alone.

I looked back down at the book, but the words began blurring together. A solitary tear dripped from my eye and landed on the book, smudging the words. "Grr," I mumbled and wiped it away with my finger then proceeded to wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Hey Kalie, what are you doing in here?" I wiped my eyes again and turned with a smile.

"I'm on button duty today. I've forty minutes before I actually need to do anything." I grinned, but Charlie's face still showed concern. "I'm fine Charlie. Now, what are you doing up here?"

He sighed and sat in the chair by the wall. "Claire's still furious with me. I was talking to her earlier. She says she needs some space."

I dog-eared the page and shut my book, giving my new friend my full attention. "Well, you probably should."

"Yeah, I knew you'd say that."

Sighing, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Charlie, you lied to her and not a little white lie either. It's going to take her time to trust you again. You're not helping by continuously pestering her." I rolled the chair over to where he was and took his hands in mine. "Give her space. She'll come around, I know she will."

Charlie didn't reply, just nodded slightly. "Well I'm going to head out, unless you want company?"

I smiled at his abrupt subject change. "No, thank you. Kate's supposed to be on shift with me and she should be here any minute. Take care Charlie." I rolled back to the desk and when I glanced up again, he was gone.

My first shift in the hatch was long, boring and uneventful. Kate came and went, barely hanging around for ten minutes. Sawyer needed help with his exercises was the excuse she gave me. Well weren't they just the happy couple. So I sat, pushed the button every 108 minutes and finished the book just as my shift was ending.

"Kalie," Sayid said, walking into the computer room. "Any problems?"

Shaking my head, I stood up and stretched. "No, nothing eventful. Have fun." I returned the book to the shelf and left my brother to sit alone. There was nothing I could say to him that I hadn't' said already. Shannon had been gone for days now, as had Boone. We were both alone, and used to it.

I went back to my tent later that evening and fell right to sleep. I'm not sure how I got so tired, but I didn't hear a sound. Not even Claire's screaming woke me when she found Aaron gone, which I found out about the next day.

Charlie woke me up the next morning but cursing outside the tent. "What are you fussing about?" I asked once I had gotten up and changed.

"None of your business," he retorted and I my eyes grew wide. "Well, go on." He gestured away from the tent and rather than argue, I left.

Another dull and boring day passed on the island. I talked to Libby for a few minutes then Sawyer. His arm was healing nicely, according to Jack, and he had almost full use of it now.

When the sun set for the night, I sat in the sand to write in my journal by the large campfire. This entry summed up my feelings for the island and everyone on it. I wasn't happy here and I wanted to go home. But then again, who didn't.

"Fire!" My head snapped up and I looked around. Sayid was running through the camp, yelling about a fire. "Grab tools, containers for sand, anything you have!"

I tossed the journal aside and grabbed the nearest thing to me, a bucket from the hatch. Jumping up, I followed the crowd of people and began racing towards the burning flames. "We need to cut a break line, here. Some of you get down to the water."

I opted to go to the water. I ran with several others down to the ocean and filled my bucket, running back and forth between the flames and water. On my second trip to the ocean, I heard screaming and deviated from my course to see what was going on. Yes, I'm nosy, but if someone was in trouble, I wanted to help.

"Charlie!" I heard Claire yell. He was standing two feet from the ocean, Aaron in his arms. "Charlie, give me my baby," Claire cried.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, my bucket falling out of my hands.

"He has to be baptized! Tell them Eko!" I glanced back at the group that had now formed on the beach, watching the scene before us.

Charlie pleaded with Claire and Locke. Aaron needed to be baptized… he was only trying to save the baby. I blinked, and lost what was happening. Charlie finally gained some sense and handed Locke the baby then Locke handed him to Claire. I gasped as Locke turned to punch Charlie not once, but three times, sending him into the cold ocean waters.

He looked up at me, tears in his eyes and blood running down his cheeks. "I was only trying to help," I heard him say.

Shaking my head, I turned and walked up the beach with everyone else, away from my friend. When I got back to my tent, I pulled Charlie's guitar case and bag from inside and placed them just outside the door. I then covered up with my blanket and tried to fall asleep.

The next morning came almost immediately after my head hit the pillow. I crawled out of the tent and stretched, gazing out over the bright blue waters. I walked the beach, back and forth, to the shore and back.

I nearly turned around when I saw Charlie heading for me. "Kalie…" he started, but I shook my head, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"No. I don't want to hear it. You could have killed Aaron. I don't want you here anymore Charlie."

"You were supposed to be my friend."

I stared at him, eyebrows raised. "I am your friend. But you can't expect me to be okay with you kidnapping Aaron! Yes, you thought you were saving him, but you weren't! You have issues you need to be dealing with…"

"I'm not on drugs." He spoke softly, his eyes lowered to the ground.

"Charlie I didn't say you were. Look," I took his hand in mine and looked up into his eyes. "You're my friend and if you need help, I'm here for you. But you didn't realize what you were doing was wrong. Think about it for a while, then come find me." I dropped his hand and turned to walk back to my tent.

I crawled through the tarp and pulled out my journal. I needed a moment to think, to write down what I was feeling.

_When you're stuck on an island, you become very close friends with those around you. It doesn't take long to form a close bond, which also means it doesn't take much to destroy it either. Ask me three days ago and I would have told you Charlie was one of my closest friends here. Now, I don't know how I feel about him. _

_It's funny how your opinion of someone can change so swiftly. Take Shannon. We bickered and had our moments in the beginning but after Boone's death, we bonded. If she had just a bit more time, we probably could have become friends. And now with Charlie, I don't know how I can ever think of him the same way again. He doesn't realise what he did was wrong. He could have killed Aaron…_

I reread what I had just written in my journal, debating crossing it out and starting over. But no, these were my thoughts and it wasn't fair to erase them just because they weren't pleasant. Charlie would realize what happened, and he'd come back. I would laugh about this later, once we were rescued and everything was fine again.

* * *

**AN: Sorry about the short chapter. I promise a longer chapter for the next one, and a bit more action as well. Thanks so much for reading! Leave a review and let me know what you thought!**

**And on an unrelated note: have you seen the promos for the CW's new series _Vampire Diaries?_ Ian Somerhalder is playing Damon! I'm excited!**


	23. Shocking Moments

**Chapter 23: Shocking Moments, Day 57-58**

I walked through the jungle, trying to clear my mind. Sixteen days. I had been alone for sixteen days. I was dealing. The feeling of grief lessened as the days passed. My mind kept telling me, _you didn't know him long enough to be this distraught. You were only with him for twenty-something days._

I stopped in the path and closed my eyes, filling my lungs with fresh, clean air. The sun broke through the trees and warmed my face. I still couldn't get over the fact that it was the middle of November and still warm. Maybe I could find a house on an island that still had modern conveniences, but was warm all year round. That would be beautiful.

A smile crossed my face as I thought about it. I could swim in the ocean and take a shower. How lovely would that be? I opened my eyes and resumed walking along the path. Fruit littered the ground and I picked up a mango, wiping it off on my shirt and taking a bite. The juice ran down my chin and I wiped it away with the edge of my tank.

I came to a small clearing and smiled at the sun streaming down through the leaves. The jungle was so peaceful and quiet, I couldn't imagine… "Ouch!" I tripped over an upturned root and feel to the ground. I lay there, in the dirt, feeling very glad I was alone. How embarrassing would that be, tripping over a root I should have seen?

I pushed myself up and sat Indian-style on the ground. The heels of my hands were covered in dirt and scratches, as were the knees of my jeans. I brushed my hands off on my pants and examined the scratches. None were too deep and they would heal on their own.

As I moved to stand, a twig snapped in front of me and I froze. I glanced up and gasped, falling back to the ground. A woman was standing in front of me, looking down. Her long blonde hair fell past her shoulders and her clothes were drab colors, brown and tan. "Kalie Walker?"

I was still frozen and could only nod in response. Who was this woman and how did she know my name?

"Do not come this far into the jungle again. Others of my kind will not be so generous. Stay away from here Kalie." I nodded again, looking up at the blonde woman. She waved her hands and I assumed she wanted me to leave, but I was still in shock.

"How… how do you know my name?" I managed to stutter, my eyes still fixed on her.

A small smile crossed her lips. "We have our ways. Now, go away from here. Back to your camp and you will be safe. But be warned, if you venture this far again, others will find you and you will not get away so lucky. Now go Kalila. Return to your camp and your brother."

I stared and the woman motioned again, gesturing that I stand up and leave. This time, I took her warning and stood up quickly, practically running away from her and the small clearing.

I tripped again, this time over a root that wasn't so visible. Down I went, scratching the same places on my hands and knees that I had scratched before. I sat up and kicked at the ground, angry at myself for not paying more attention to where I was running.

"You shouldn't be here," a male voice said from behind me.

"I know that," I replied, sounding much braver than I felt. I stood up and brushed my hands on my pants, turning to face the voice. "I'll be leaving now." The man standing before me was tall and in clean clothes, opposed to the woman I had just met. He wasn't terrifying by sight, but I was sure he would be if provoked.

"You're Kalie, right?" He asked, sounding as if he already knew the answer.

I nodded, my mind reeling as I tried to figure out how these people knew my name. Then it hit me… Ethan. These were the others that Sayid mentioned, that Ethan was a part of. I was in trouble.

"She's on the list," he said softly. I could tell I wasn't supposed to be hearing what he was saying. His head shook quickly and he looked up, meeting my eyes. "Go back to your camp. Now Kalie."

"Who are you? What list?" I stood my ground, surprised at my sudden boldness.

"My name is Richard. You'll find out all about us soon enough. Now go back to your camp." He, Richard, crossed his arms across his chest and watched me, waiting for me to walk away. "And don't mention this encounter, or you will regret it."

I turned and walked away, slowly so I wouldn't trip. I found the path and continued walking. These were the people that kidnapped Claire, scared the French woman and terrified us into hiding in the jungle. I needed to stay out of the jungle, and this time I would listen to myself. I was just threatened; at least that's how I took it. How else could a sentence like that be taken?

When Richard was out of sight, I jogged, not as fast as before. I emerged from the leaves and dropped to the ground, panting heavily with a cramp in my side. What list was he talking about?

Several yards down the beach, I stopped, noticing for the first time that someone was sitting on this patch of beach.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." I stepped back a few paces, embarrassed at barging in on Ana Lucia. "I got lost in the jungle and was thankful…" I trailed off, feeling my cheek glow warmly.

"It's fine," she said, motioning me to come out of the trees. "What's your name again?"

"Kalie. Kalie Walker."

She brushed her hand on her pants and held it out to me. "I'm Ana Lucia."

"Nice to meet you. "Umm, I'll just be going now." I walked a few steps, and then turned back to her. "Do you want any company? You sit out here by yourself a lot."

Ana Lucia nodded. "Well people at your camp aren't too fond of me, especially the Arab man, Sayid."

"He's my brother," I said softly, sitting in the sand. I thought of how upset he was after Shannon… after she was killed.

"Really? That makes sense. You two look a bit alike." She went back to fiddling with her knife, but paused after a few seconds. "You knew that girl, Shannon."

I nodded, trying to decide how to answer. "Yes. I was seeing her step-brother, Boone."

"Oh, where is he now?" She asked offhandedly, barely paying attention to me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "He died, about sixteen days ago. There was a plane, a beach craft and he climbed in and tried to get a radio signal. Locke said he reached someone but…"

"Us," she said softly, meeting my eyes for the first time in minutes. "We heard him on the shortwave radio."

"The plane fell, his leg was crushed. Jack tried to save him, but…" I trailed off, images of Boone's bloody and bruised face streaming through my consciousness.

"I'm sorry, for your boyfriend. If we had known who was trying to contact us, we might have met up sooner and a lot of this heartache would have been avoided." Ana Lucia actually sounded sincere in her apology. She sounded like she meant it and it shocked me.

I forced a smile, "thank you. All right, I'll let you get back to what you were doing." I left Ana Lucia and walked down to where my brother was taking apart coconuts. Hurley was standing by him, babbling about a radio.

"I was just trying to cheer you up dude," Hurley said, putting the radio down on the ground.

"I don't need cheering up." I looked down at Sayid, almost in shock. Sure, he was grieving, but was that any reason to be short with Hurley? The guy who is friendly to everyone?

"Okay man, sorry. No problem." I smiled up at Hurley, trying to apologize for Sayid's behavior.

Hurley left and I shook my head. "Care for some company?" I asked, dropping my bag to the ground.

Sayid looked over at the radio and then up at me. "I would rather be alone."

Stunned, I stared down at him with my eyebrows raised. "Well today is certainly not my day. Fine," I picked up my bag and stepped back a step. "When Boone died, you tried to get me to talk. You kept me company and forced me to continue life. Doesn't that apply to you? We're family and damnit, you're the only person I have on this bloody island." I knelt down next to him and forced him to meet my eyes. "Yes, you have to grieve, but don't separate from everyone. Hurley just wanted to help, and so do I."

With that, I stood back up and walked away, leaving Sayid to do whatever. I wanted to talk to him about what happened in the jungle. I wanted him to fuss at me and tell me not to go that far again, just like last time I got lost. But Sayid wasn't the same. Losing Shannon had changed hi, differently from the way losing Boone had changed me.

The closer I got to the camp, the more I became concerned. Almost everyone was crowded around Sun and Jin's tent. "What happened?" I asked Rose when I finally reached the crowd.

"Someone hit her and knocked her unconscious. She seems to be okay, but Jack and Jin went off to the hatch." Rose smiled at me and went to stand with Bernard. As they embraced, I felt a pain in my heart. I wanted someone to hold me, to keep me safe.

I shivered despite the warm air. Someone was in our camp and tried to take Sun. But I just met two of them and they left me alone. Wouldn't I have been easier to grab than Sun?

Leaving the crowd, I went to my tent to sit and think. I pulled out my journal and began writing to help clear my mind. _I should tell someone what happened. I wanted to tell Sayid, but he wouldn't talk to me. There's always Jack… but he's busy being leader. I'm not close to anyone else. I really should start being closer to people. Who knows when I might need someone? _

The sun set and I moved to sit with Claire and Aaron. I watched Charlie, who was sitting by himself and felt awful. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't. He needed time to think and my talking to him, wouldn't be beneficial.

Jack broke the quietness by storming across the sand and yelling at Locke. They screamed for a minute or so, until gunshots ran through the camp. I jumped up along with everyone around me and turned to face the trees.

Sawyer came walking through the trees, a gun in his hands. "So how 'bout you listen up. Cause I'm only gonna say this once. Took my stuff, while I was off trying to get us help, get us rescued. You found my stash and took it. Divided it up.

"Well I'm done taking orders. And I don't want my stuff back, shaving cream don't matter. Only thing that matters now are guns." He swung the gun over his shoulder, "there's a new sheriff in town boys. And ya'll better get used to it."

I cringed and felt Claire take my hand. Meeting her eyes, I whispered, "We're in trouble now." She nodded and we sat back down on the log. Sawyer wandered off while everyone else murmured and whispered to themselves and others around them.

She held Aaron tight to her chest and we both sat in silence. "Kalie, come with me." Sayid stood in front of us, and I hadn't even noticed him approach.

"Why?"

A small, sad smile crossed his face. "Because I would like you to."

"Will you be okay here by yourself?" I asked, turning to face Claire.

When she nodded, I took Sayid's proffered hand and stood up. He handed me a pile of wires and together, we walked down the sand to Hurley. It was then that I knew what he did and I grinned over at him.

"Hey, check this out. I found a manuscript in one of the suitcases. It's like a mystery book." Hurley looked back down at the pages and I nudged Sayid in the side.

"I want to show you something." He held out the radio and Hurley looked up in surprise.

"Cool! You fixed it!"

"We'll see." I stood off to the side as Hurley and Sayid set up the tower in the sand. "Don't expect anything. The chances of getting a signal are slim at best."

I sat in the sand slightly away from Hurley and Sayid sat in between. He took the radio, pulled out the antenna and switched it on. "Static is good right?"

"No," Sayid said plainly. "Reception is good."

I tried to hold back a grin and Sayid played with the radio tuner. A voice came across the radio and Hurley snapped his head up. "Wait, what's that?"

"That's Rousseau's signal."

Seconds passed and all we heard was static. And then, "wait! What's that?"

A male voice came over the radio. The Glenn Miller Orchestra! Soft jazz music began playing and I smiled, closing my eyes and reveling in the sound. We hadn't heard music in so long!

"Woah, do you hear how clear that is? It's got to be close right?" Hurley looked so excited, my grin spread across my face.

"It could be coming from anywhere."

"Or any time," Hurley said and I turned to face him, confused.

"Why would you say that?" I asked softly, completely confused.

"Just kidding dude," he chuckled and turned to face the water. I shook my head slightly and leaned into Sayid's shoulder.

My brother was back, or so I hoped. He may not be back fully, but he was here now and that's all that mattered to me.

I fell asleep listening to the soft jazz. The next morning when I woke up, I was back in my tent, completely unsure of how I got there. I stretched before crawling out and walking to the caves to wash my face.

"Hey Kalie." I exhaled quickly when I heard Charlie's voice behind me. I really wasn't looking forward to talking to him.

"Hey Charlie. How are you this morning?" I forced a smile and turned towards him.

"I'm all right. Haven't seen you around." Charlie walked with me to the waterfall and waited while I washed my face of the dirt and grime.

I wiped the excess water off my face with an old shirt, hesitating to answer. "Yeah, I've been around." I stood up, "well I have to get going. I'll see you later."

Charlie didn't answer and I walked away quickly. Charlie was a good friend, but I still wasn't sure how I feel about him. After the escapade with Aaron, he didn't seem like the same person.

"Jack," I called, jogging to catch up with him on the path. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm not going anywhere in a hurry."

I cocked an eyebrow and looked up at him. "Really? Because you certainly look like you're in a hurry."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "Well there's no getting past you."

"All right, I won't press for details. Have you seen Sayid? I think he put me in my tent last night, but I'm not sure. I wanted to make sure he was okay." I kept pace with our doctor as we walked along the path.

"I think he's at the hatch. If I see him, I'll let him know you're looking for him." Jack quickened his walk, leaving me to walk behind, much slower.

What was going on around here? Thankfully, Sayid was somewhat back to normal, at least last night. But Sawyer had all the guns and that terrified me. Jack was acting strange, and Charlie was trying to get back to normal.

We had guns, well Sawyer had guns, and the odds were in the favor of us shooting and killing each other rather than the bad guys. Or, what if we were the bad guys? And what was the list that Richard was talking about? What would I find out about later? I didn't want to know.

* * *

**AN: So, what did you think? Kalie met two "Others," Sawyer has all the guns and Henry Gale is locked in the hatch (not that Kalie knows that). Kind of exciting, right?**

**There are two chapters left in Season 2 and then it's on to Season 3. Both Season 3 & 4 will be rather short, then on to Season 5. I'm excited! Thanks again and please leave a review on your way out!**


	24. A Hunting We Will Go

**Chapter 24: A Hunting We Will Go, Day 59-61**

"Sayid?" I walked into the hatch and looked around. No one was visible. "Sayid, are you in here?"

"What are you doing here?" Ana Lucia appeared from in the computer room. She leaned against the doorway, blocking my entrance.

"Looking for Sayid. Have you seen him?" I remained firmly planted, not letting her scare me, even thought she did terrify me.

She nodded and motioned for me to follow her. I turned and we walked through the hatch and out the door. "He's down by the beach. I was just headed there if you want to walk with me."

"Um, sure," I said, slightly confused. I followed her down the path we had created and onto the sandy beach. Charlie and Sayid were doing something with bamboo sticks. I waved at Sayid and offered a small smile to Charlie.

"Could you give me a minute? I need to talk to him about something, and then he's all yours." She was actually being sincere, so I nodded and hung back.

"Sayid," Ana Lucia started. "Can I talk to you?" I stepped back a few steps and watched the scene, far enough away that I couldn't hear their conversation.

Sitting on a large rock, I pulled my water bottle out of my bag and took a swig. How I wanted a cool glass of iced tea! Anything would be better than drinking plain water all the time.

"Hey Kalie," Charlie's voice cause me to look up suddenly, spilling water on my jeans.

"Hey, you startled me." I capped the bottle and tossed it back in my bag, zipping it closed. "Weren't you talking with Sayid and Ana?"

"We're done. Care to come on a walk with us?" Charlie held out a hand but I shook my head.

"I shouldn't. I'm not invited."

He pulled his hand back and glanced over his shoulder. "I wasn't invited either and besides, I just invited you. So are you coming or not?"

I looked behind him at Sayid and Ana, still deep in conversation. "Are you coming?" My friend asked again and this time, I took his offered hand.

"Sayid isn't going to be happy about this." I took in the glare on my brother's face as we walked up to him.

"Well then, he'll just have to get over it." Charlie smiled at me and squeezed my hand before letting go. "Kalie's coming with us," he said to Ana and Sayid.

"Absolutely not." Sayid crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me. I told Charlie this would happen, but did he listen, no.

I stepped back and nodded. "Have a nice walk." I turned and walked away feeling miserable and sorrier for myself than I had any right. Fingering the charm on Boone's necklace, I sat on a rock a few yards away.

What could I do instead? I had no where to go, nothing to do. The hatch was apparently off-limits and I had no friends left. Sun was arguing with Jin, Claire was watching Aaron and my brother was off on another trek through the jungle.

"Kalie?" I looked up and met Ana Lucia's eyes. "Come on."

"Sayid said no."

"Since when do you have to listen to what he says? Aren't you over eighteen?" Ana knelt down next to me and I was shocked by her uncharacteristic niceness.

"Ha-ha. Not here. Here I'm the kid. The youngest one stranded here aside from Walt and people ignore him for the most part, and now everyone's ignoring me as well." I shrugged and smiled sadly. "I'm not going to piss Sayid off today."

"Come on," she said again, standing up and holding her hand out.

I shook my head and took it, shaking my head. We walked back to where Sayid and Charlie were standing. "Excellent," Charlie said with a smile once he saw me.

Sayid didn't speak to me; just shot a glare at Ana Lucia. "We should get moving. This is more than a day's walk from here."

So we started. We walked along the path and through the trees. I tripped over upturned roots and rocks, scratching my hands the few times I fell. Charlie helped pull me to my feet several and I nodded my thanks.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly the third or fourth time he helped me to my feet.

"We're on an adventure to find a balloon."

I looked over at him and burst out laughing. Sayid and Ana glanced back at us, Sayid casting a glare in my direction. "A balloon? Like a hot air balloon or a helium balloon?"

"Like a hot air balloon. That bloke we have in the hatch drew a map to where his balloon crashed here."

"Wait, there's a guy in the hatch?" This was news to me. But then again, I definitely wasn't on the Island Newspaper circulation route.

We hung back a few steps, away from Ana Lucia and Sayid, so that we could talk in private. "Yeah. The French woman brought Sayid to him and he's been locked in the hatch ever since. He says he was riding around the world in his hot air balloon with his wife."

"And we're searching for the balloon, so that we'll believe him?"

"That's the general idea."

We came through a clearing and Sayid pulled out a folded piece of paper, a map. "That cliff there, it appears to be this." I walked up to his shoulder and looked down at the map.

"Score one for Henry." Ana had a sly smile on her face and I looked away, keeping my own smile hidden.

"Pointing out the geographical touchstone does not mean he's leading us to a balloon."

"Maybe not, but at least were on the right island." Sayid folded up the map and stuffed it in his pocket. He started walking again, he was ignoring me.

"Humor is not his strong suit. And I'm saying this to you." I slapped Charlie's arm and began walking again, trying to catch up to my brother inconspicuously.

As much as I disliked Charlie at the moment, he seemed to be the only one on this little hike that wanted me here. Sayid was upset with me for some known reason and Ana was just being Ana. "You looking at my bum?" I stopped and turned to look back at Charlie and Ana, who were standing amidst the tall grass.

"No, I'm looking at your gun. Maybe you should give it to someone who knows how to use it?"

"Maybe I will. But as I recall, the last time you had a gun you murdered someone."

"Charlie!" I exclaimed loudly the same time Sayid said, "That's enough." Sayid's voice was much softer and got to the point.

Charlie pulled the gun from his pants and handed it to Sayid. "We'll go as far as the base of the cliff and we'll camp there." My brother put the gun away and began walking again.

I looked back and forth between my Charlie and Ana Lucia before following Sayid across the field. A few yards away, someone took my hand and when I looked up, it was Charlie. "I'm sorry about that, back there. I didn't realize you and Sayid were standing so close."

"It's nothing," I said softly, trying to pull my hand away, but Charlie held it firmly in his grasp.

"It's not nothing. I'm sorry for a lot of things Kalie. But especially for hurting you and Claire." He squeezed my hand before letting it go.

I nodded and continued walking, hoping to be left in silence for the remainder of our hike. Did he have to bring up Shannon? I had managed to go almost two days without thinking of both her and Boone.

The sky was a mixture of pinks and reds by the time we reached the base of the cliff. The next hour was spent making a fire, setting up sleeping areas and eating. I set up my bag and blanket next to Charlie and attempted to sleep. My dear friend was already out, and I had to laugh at his light snores. Now would have been a perfect time to talk to my brother about what was bothering him, but Ana Lucia beat me to it.

"Do you mind?" I heard her ask softly. They probably thought I was asleep, I should be. Ana talked for a short while, and I dozed in and out until one sentence caught my attention. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did."

Silence. There was silence for a few minutes and all that I heard was the crackling of the twigs and leaves in the fire. "You were trying to protect your people. It wasn't you who killed Shannon, it was them." Sayid's low voice carried through our camp. "And once we find out he is one of them, then something will have to be done."

I cringed and forced myself to roll over, keeping up with the sleeping charade. Sayid would kill this man, he had killed before and something told me he would do it again.

When I woke up, the sky was grey and the sun had yet to rise over the horizon, if it was even going to that day. "Morning," I mumbled to my brother, but I don't think he heard me. He was staring down at a sleeping Ana Lucia.

"What?" She asked, sitting up and pulling on her shirt over her black tank.

"Nothing," Sayid replied.

I looked around for Charlie and smiled when I heard his voice through the trees. "Who wants breakfast? I've got papayas and papayas."

"Let's go." Sayid had hoisted his pack onto his back and was already moving out through the trees.

"I'll take one Charlie," I said as I picked up my bag from the ground.

He smiled and tossed me one before tossing his own pack onto his back. We weren't even a quarter kilometer away from where we spent the night when the rain came pouring down. So we walked through the rain, taking care not to slip on wet rocks. I fell of course, this time Sayid pulled me up before Charlie could. I murmured a thanks but he had dropped my arm before the words even left my mouth.

"This is it," he said finally and we all stopped, looking around.

"This balloon would be rather large, right?" Charlie asked, rain running rivers down his face.

"Why am I not surprised?" Sayid said, a small smile spreading across his lips.

I looked up in the trees and through the trees, following what Ana and Charlie were doing. "We need to look more," she said, lifting a hand to cover her eyes from the water downpour.

"This is where he said it would be!"

"I'm going to back your play on this one Sayid, we need to be sure." Sayid split the area into grids and we each searched. I even went as far as to lift rocks and peer under small bushes, but there was no sign of the balloon in my section.

"Charlie!" I heard Sayid yell twice and I slowly made my way towards his voice.

"Over here!" Charlie yelled and I turned my path towards him, towards his voice rather than my brother's.

I reached him first, followed closely by Ana Lucia and Sayid. Stuck in the dirt was a crude wooden cross, similar to the ones we had made for our departed friends. "He said he buried her right? His wife?"

I brushed the wet hair from my face and looked down at the grave and then up at my friend. Could we have possibly found what we came out here looking for?

"Why isn't it raining here?" Ana Lucia looked at her drying hands and then stood up. One quick glance above us told it all. Staring down at us was a red balloon with a yellow smiley face. Oh the irony.

"That's it, isn't it?" I said softly, not knowing how Sayid would react.

"Yeah, that's it." It was Charlie who replied, not my brother.

"Well, we'd better head back, now that we've found it." Ana tossed a rock back onto the grave and started back into the jungle.

"No," Sayid said, kneeling back in the dirt. "I don't believe him."

"What?" Ana turned around and stormed back to the grave. "It's all here; everything is as he said it would be."

"It's too perfect." Sayid began pulling rocks off the mound, tossing them into the bushes. I said a quick prayer and dropped to my knees, helping him toss rocks and then dig dirt. Charlie helped as well, and finally Ana joined us. My finger nails were filthy, caked with dirt and bleeding by the time we reached the body.

"Oh goodness," I said as I rocked back on my heels while Sayid pulled at the decaying clothes. He pulled out a wallet and brushed the dirt off the person's face. This was not a woman.

"Here is your Henry Gale," he said, tossing the wallet at Ana Lucia.

We covered him with the dirt and then rocks before heading back into the jungle. Ana had given Sayid the wallet and he shoved it in his pocket. She charged through the jungle. Sayid followed then Charlie took my hand, dragging me along with them.

Thankfully, the rain stopped after we had been walking for a few hours. Rather than camping for the night, we opted to continue, knowing we were rather close to our camp. Charlie and Sayid carried torches while Ana Lucia and I followed along. I wasn't excited about being stuck in the jungle at night, but with Sayid, Charlie and Ana with me, those 'Others' wouldn't be able to get me.

We didn't talk. I didn't know what to say that wouldn't upset someone and I was quite glad to be left to my thoughts. Every once in a while, my fingers would twirl the charm around on the necklace I wore on my neck, Boone's necklace.

We were close, we had to be. I stepped through the trees and noticed everyone stopped. Looking up, I gasped. Jack and Kate were standing by a pile with a blinking light and a parachute.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Charlie asked, echoing my thoughts.

"What'd you find?" Jack asked back, ignoring our question either because he felt like it, or because he didn't have an answer.

"It's there," Ana said softly.

"He is not who he says he is

Jack sighed and nodded. "All right, let's go tell Locke."

I longed for my bed and a good night's sleep. Charlie's snoring had kept me awake for most of the previous night and I didn't have my mattress of ferns to keep me cushioned on the hard ground. But the sleeping would have to wait, we had to tell Locke.

Jack led the way into the hatch. "Get away from him!" I heard him yell and we all rushed forward.

"Step back, right now." Sayid pulled the gun from his pants and had it pointed by the time I had entered the living area. There was the man, he was bruised, battered and bleeding, but he was here.

"Sayid, it's okay. I let him out." Locke was lying on the couch and Jack had the man pressed up against the wall. "There was some kind of lockdown or something. He was helping me."

"Couldn't you find my balloon?" Jack had released his hold on the man slightly, allowing him to breathe and speak.

"Yes, we found it, exactly how you described. We also found your wife's grave, the grave you said you dug with your own bare hands." Sayid lowered the gun slightly and I looked around. Kate looked stricken; Charlie angry and Ana looked like herself.

He walked up to where Jack had the man pinned to the wall. "It was all there. Your whole story, your alibi, it was true. But still I did not believe it to be true. So I dug up that grave and found that there was not a woman in it, but a man named Henry Gale."

Jack through the man formerly known as Henry Gale back into the Armory and I left with Charlie to get some sleep. This wasn't our problem any more, and I opted to let 'the adults' deal with it.

So I slept, with Charlie beside me, in my tent and I wished for Boone. I wished for him to hold me close as the nightmares faded away. But all I got was a snoring Charlie, which did little more than make me smile.

* * *

**AN: I'm so sorry for the delay in updates! I'm blaming it on my husband, who has come back home and decides he wants my computer to look up silly videos on YouTube. :-(**

**Anywho: there are two chapters left in Season 2 and I hope to have that finished if not posted by the Sunday. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. Please leave a review on your way out!**


	25. Trust Issues

**Chapter 25: Trust Issues, Day 62-64**

Day sixty-two and sixty-three dawned, as usual, bright and sunny. By the time I was fully awake that morning, Charlie was gone and the pallet of food was nearly decimated. All that was left was a few bags of cereal and boxes of crackers. I grabbed one of each and made my way back to my tent.

Waving to Sun and Jin, I tossed the food inside and walked again into the trees. We had been here for two months already and look how much had changed. Not even just the visible signs, like weight loss and the status of our dwellings, but we started off trusting everyone and now… now it was like we couldn't trust anyone, even our family.

I walked down to the hatch, knowing I would just be sent away again. I wasn't old enough to play with the big kids. As I opened the door, a loud crack sounded and I ducked, looking around scared. What on Earth…

"Hello?" I called, walking a few steps into the hatch. I peered around a corner and then flattened myself against a wall. Sayid was storming down the hall. "Sayid? What's going on?"

"Get out of my way." He blew past me and I looked on with my jaw open.

Shaking my head in utter confusion, I walked into the living area and looked around. Ana was sitting on the couch flipping through a book. "What happened? I heard a gun shot and then Sayid…"

"You're his sister, right?" When I nodded she shook her head. "He needs to talk to someone, but he won't. He tried to shoot him, Henry."

That news didn't surprise me. "I some how knew it was him," I said softly. "What do you want me to do?"

"Talk to him?" She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Though at the moment, I doubt he'd listen to you either."

"He won't. Didn't you see the glares he shot me yesterday and the day before, when we were looking for the balloon?" I sighed and shook my head. "Fine. I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything."

"Thanks." Ana turned back to her book and I stood awkwardly off to the side. I waited for a few moments, but opted to head out and down to the beach. Maybe I would get lucky and run into Sayid on the way.

By the time I reached the beach, I was soaked through we sweat. It's nearly Thanksgiving and still hot and humid. England was cool and rainy, even in the summer time and New England was just as bad. Sure, Connecticut gets to the nineties and gets humid, but nothing like this.

"Kalie? What are you doing right now?" Bernard came walking up to me and I stopped in the path, startled.

"Bernard! Umm, I'm walking back to the beach at the moment. Why?"

"Could you meet me at the edge of the tree line? In say five minutes?" He looked giddy, excited.

"Uh, sure. What's going on?"

He grinned, "I've got a plan. Remember, five minutes."

"Uh, sure Bernard. I'll be there." I smiled up at him and continued down the sand to my tent. After tossing my bag inside, I took a swig of water and looked around. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on, here at the beach that is. At the hatch, we still had the man locked in the armory.

I waited a few minutes and then walked up to the edge of the tree line. Bernard and Rose were already gathered, along with Sun, Jin, Hurley and a few other people. I waved at Sun before standing near Claire.

"Okay, two months we've been on this island…two months! And already we have a water trough, and we've got a food pantry. And people are taking showers in the hatch. Have you forgotten that we all crashed on this island? It's like none of you want to go home again," said Bernard animatedly.

I glanced at Claire besides me and shook my head lightly. "How can you say that? Of course we want to go home," she said as she jiggled Aaron.

"Well, then why aren't we doing anything about it?"

"Dude, we, like, built a raft. But it got blown up." Hurley shrugged and a few people nodded.

"Okay, so what are we doing now? That pallet of food had a parachute which means a plane dropped it here which means there are other planes that fly over the island. So, we are going to build a sign, a massive sign along the beach. So that way if a plane flies over or a satellite takes pictures from up there, we want to make damn sure that they know we're here, that they know about us."

Rose looked skeptical. "Maybe we should speak to Jack about this first."

"Well, do we have to run everything by Jack? I mean, he's not the president. He's a doctor."

"You're a dentist," Rose said and a few people, including myself chuckled.

"Rose, can I speak to you for a minute?" Bernard gently pulled his wife aside and the gathered crowd began whisper.

After a quick smile at Claire and a kiss on Aaron's forehead, I walked away. If Bernard wanted to build an SOS, go for it, but I wasn't in the mood. I needed to go find Sayid and find out why he was so angry at me.

He wasn't in our group by the trees, and after a quick scan along the beach, he wasn't there either. That left a few options, the two main ones being his tent and the cemetery. I opted for the latter, and walked the familiar path to where our few casualties had been buried. To my surprise, he was sitting on the fallen log, staring at Shannon's cross, where his prayer beads hung.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked softly, walking into the clearing.

My older brother shook his head and I sat on the ground near his shoes. I hugged my legs close to my chest and stared at Boone's cross. Reaching up, I fingered his necklace that I had been wearing around my neck for days. It was times like these that I wished he was still with us.

"Why are you so angry at me?" I asked, surprising myself at my boldness.

He didn't respond and for a moment I thought he hadn't heard me. "I am not angry with you, Kalila."

I raised an eyebrow and glanced over at him. "Well you sure could have fooled me the past two days." I turned and faced him, gathering my courage. "I know we're not close… If it hadn't been for this plane crash, we never would have met because I certainly wasn't going to go looking for you and your family. But you're all I have here…" I trailed off, hoping he would say something, anything.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've interrupted your life and tried to put myself in a place I don't belong. If you want, you can just forget about me." When I still didn't receive a response, I stood up and began walking away. I kissed my fingers and laid them on the top of Boone's cross. "I love you," I said softly to the wooden cross.

"Kalie," Sayid said, causing me to stop in my tracks. "I am not angry at you. I don't want to explain, but do know that it's not you I'm angry with."

I slowly turned to face my brother and the look on his face broke my heart. He looked so sad, broken even and I wanted to help, but I knew I couldn't. "Why did you try to kill him?"

He looked up and I instantly regretted asking. "Who told you that? Ana Lucia?"

"I heard the shot and you ran past me. I put two and two together." Sayid hated Ana as it was – not that I blamed him – and I figured he didn't need any other reason.

"He is the reason she's gone. He is why we are still trapped here, fearful for our lives. He doesn't deserve to live."

"You can kill someone that easily? Don't you have any remorse?" I couldn't even imagine, couldn't even think about him doing that.

"I've done worse," he said softly. "I've done things you couldn't even imagine." When he looked up at me, his eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks stained with tears. "So dear sister, if you would like, you may forget about me. We may chat in passing, but once we are rescued, we can go our separate ways."

I stood for what felt like forever and thought. What else could he have done in his life? Did I want to know? Of course not. The picture in my mind of the person that was my brother was forever changed now. He tried to murder this Henry person in cold blood and I didn't think that was possible.

I remembered so many days ago when I told Sayid he didn't scare me. How wrong I had been! He may not have scared me then, but he certainly scared me now.

"All my life I've known I didn't belong with my parents and brothers. My skin was tanned while theirs was white, but I knew I was loved. But I found you, my real family. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you, the only person I still have on this island."

He nodded, but didn't speak. So I gave up waiting and I left, leaving my brother behind with our loves. I found a place just inside the trees; I could still see the water from the ocean. I sat in the trees and cried. I let the tears slide down my cheeks and onto my jeans, drying in the creases of my eyes and stinging as I blinked.

When my tears subsided, I stayed in my spot, my hiding place and waited for the sun to set. It finally went down some odd hours later and I went back to my tent. I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to explain where I had been all afternoon and why I had been crying.

*~*~*

When I woke up the next morning, my eyes were crusty from dried tears. I sat and wiped them, picking away the dried pieces and wiping my face with a damp tee shirt. I waited for almost a half an hour, gathering my thoughts and debating leaving the comfort of my tent.

I crawled out, the sun was bright and the clouds fluffy and white. It would have been perfect, except for the argument with Sayid the day before, still looming over my thoughts. How could he do such things? I had put my brother in such high esteem… never thinking of what he had done in the past. I knew he was in the Republican Guard, but didn't think about what that meant.

"Kalie?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up. Charlie was standing over me, waving a hand in front of my face. "Are you all right? I've been calling your name for almost five minutes now."

"You have not!" I said with a laugh, shaking my head and clearing my brain. "Yeah I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm all right. What's going on with the man in the armory? Have they figured out what to do with him?" He took a seat beside me in the sand and picked up a nearby twig, twirling it between his fingers.

Shrugging, I looked out towards the water. "I have no idea. Sayid stormed out of there yesterday and Ana Lucia didn't mention anything to me. We're not in the 'in-crowd.'"

"You're right on that one. Hey, I wanted to thank you." He tossed the twig aside and turned to face me. "You were an awful lot nicer to me over the past few days than I deserve. I know you're still upset with me, and it must have taken a lot."

"Charlie," I said, taking his hand between mine. "You're a good friend and I don't want to be angry with you. So don't do any more stupid things, got it?"

He laughed as he squeezed my hands. "Sure, I'll get right on that. Well I have to go and help Eko. We're building a church." Charlie stood up and brushed the sand from his pants.

"You're what? A church? Why a church?" Here, on the island where we were stranded, Charlie and Eko were building a church. Bernard must love that, more reason to believe we didn't want to be rescued.

"Why not?" He replied. "I'll see you around!" And with a short wave, he was off, walking up the beach towards the tree line.

I stood up and scanned the area. Two men were down the beach and I identified one as Bernard, probably working on his signal.

I wasn't sure where to go. The hatch was probably still off limits, Sayid was definitely not an option, Charlie was building his church and Claire was most likely still sleeping. Where was Heather when I needed her? Not on the plane with me and still in Connecticut, probably up to her eyeballs in homework. I really did have no one here to be near. I put all my faith in Boone and Sayid, and look how both those ended up. Boone's dead and Sayid is depressed.

So I wandered. I wandered around the beach, waving at people as I walked and stopping to chat if they spoke. Steve and Tracey were talkative this morning and Sawyer was not. "Go stick your nose in someone else's business Tinkerbelle!" He exclaimed when I asked him how he was.

There were some people I would miss once we were rescued; he was certainly not one of them.

So I sat just inside the tree line, writing in my journal. I wrote about Sayid and Charlie mostly, about how my opinions of them were changing once again. Charlie was working hard to be normal again, letting Claire stay by herself and not pushing her to talk. Sayid was… was frightening. I was scared of my brother.

The longer we stayed here, the more I wanted to go home. There were times when I thought that being here was better than being at home. I liked the warm weather, the abundant supply of fruit and the fresh air. But then I would find out something I didn't want to know, Sayid's past life for instance, and the aching to go home increased. I just had to keep up hope that someone would find us; that one day we would be rescued.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the delay. I was at my in-laws last weekend and didn't get a chance to finish and update. One more chapter left in Season 2 and then it's on to Season 3. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	26. Thoughts of Rescue Thwarted

**Chapter 26: Thoughts of Rescue Thwarted, Day 65-67**

The camp was unusually quiet that morning, and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. The waves barely made a sound as they crashed against the sand and the wind blew silently through the trees. People wandered the beach camp and I sat staring down at my notebook that was filled with my life here on this bloody island.

I flipped through the pages smiling at some of my entries. My heart ached as I longed for how things were when we first crashed here. We were all so trusting; everyone took care of everyone else. Now we were at each others throats, we already had to bury three people and everything was going downhill. And before… I had Boone and Sayid.

"Did you hear?" Sun came up to me, shaking me from my memories.

"Hear what?" I asked, closing the notebook and looking up at her. Interesting news perhaps? _Maybe an airplane had landed and we were all rescued _by brain thought wildly.

"Libby and Ana Lucia…" she trailed off, her eyes filling with tears. "He killed them. The man in the hatch…"

My jaw dropped and I gasped. "What?" I whispered, my hand flying to my mouth in shock.

"There was a man in the hatch, he escaped and shot Libby and Ana. Michael is back, he got shot as well." Sun looked horrified and I felt like she looked.

I couldn't speak, but glanced over at where Sun was pointing. Kate was digging a hole in our cemetery, two bodies wrapped in blankets near her. Jumping up from my seat in the sand, I ignored Sun's continued worrying and walked quickly across the beach to Kate. "Need any help?" I asked softly.

Kate looked up, sweat and dirt covering her face. "That would be great." She handed the shovel over and I took her place in digging the grave.

I worked in silence, tossing dirt into a pile, pausing every few minutes to wipe the sweat from my brow. Hurley came and began digging the second grave, presumably for Libby. No one spoke, we only shoveled dirt. I wanted to say something to Hurley, but nothing sounded right.

"Jack fill you in on the plan?" I looked up and saw Kate had stopped shoveling while Michael started. I hadn't even heard him walk up.

"What plan?" Kate asked, echoing my thoughts. Hurley hadn't stopped shoveling, and I was wondering if he even heard the conversation.

Michael tossed a shovelful of dirt onto the pile. "We're leaving first thing in the morning. Back across the island to there camp."

I continued shoveling dirt and didn't hear Kate's response. "How about you two? Kalie, Hurley?"

"Why would I want to go?" Hurley asked, pausing in his digging to look up at Michael. I had stopped as well, confused as to why he was mentioning me.

"Because they killed her!"

"Michael," Kate interrupted. "Come on."

Ignoring Kate, Michael persisted. "What do you say Hugo?"

"I'm sorry about Walt dude, but I'm not coming." I offered Hurley a sad smile and patted his shoulder. Returning to the task at hand, I began digging once again, trying to ignore the pressing silence.

"You're sorry…"

"Michael!" Kate and I interrupted. "He doesn't have to go," I said as I stared into Michael's eyes. "Neither do I."

He nodded and shoved the makeshift shovel into the dirt and began digging. After another thirty minutes, I tossed my shovel off to the side of the grave and walked away. I couldn't stay in that cemetery, couldn't stay in that heavy silence.

I wandered up the beach, watching out over the water. A cool breeze blew across the sand and I wrapped my arms around my chest. It seemed like every day I stood on the beach and stared out over the water. It seemed like every day I wished for someone to rescue us. And every day I wished that Boone was here and that I had my family.

A short while later, Charlie came up behind me and took my hand, gently pulling me down the beach. "Where are we going?" I asked softly, holding his hand tightly.

"The funerals."

The crowd of people had already arrived at the gravesite, Charlie and I falling in behind Sun and Jin and eventually standing next to Claire. Jack and Sayid arrived shortly after we did, both avoiding my eyes.

"Ana Lucia Cortez… Before we crashed, she was a police officer. I don't think it was easy for her, being here, but I think she did the best she could. Rest in peace, Ana." Jack's eulogy was short and sweet. We were getting better at this; more comfortable now that we were when we buried Scott and Boone and that was a painful thought.

I forced my eyes to focus on the bodies laid down in the grave, avoiding Boone's cross. Jack stepped back and Hurley stepped forward. Everyone around the gravesites shifted uncomfortably in the silence.

"Libby was… She was…" Hurley broke off, his face scrunched up trying to stop the tears. "Libby was a psychologist or psychiatrist, one of those. She probably helped a lot of people. She helped me." The tears streamed down his cheeks. "She was my friend. It's not fair that this happened to her."

Squeezing Charlie's hand tightly, I brushed a stray tear with my other hand. My heart ached for Hurley and I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know how. Jack and Sawyer seemed upset as well, though I didn't worry about them.

"I'm going with you," Hurley said as he turned to face Michael. "Goodbye Libby," he said softly, ending his eulogy.

Silence fell across the cemetery; several people sniffled and brushed away tears. I smiled when I looked up and saw Charlie's other hand being held by Claire. Maybe she had finally forgiven him, I had.

"Boat," Sun said and we all turned. "Boat!" She pointed out towards the water and there it was. A boat, sailing towards our island. We crowded around the overlook, in shock and disbelief. Could we be rescued? Could someone finally be coming for us?

"Are we going to be rescued?" Charlie said, pulling me towards the water.

I don't know who yelled first, but soon, all the survivors were yelling, waving our arms back and forth. We whistled and called to the boat while Jack, Sawyer and Sayid raced ahead to the water. They pulled off their shoes and shirts and dove into the water, swimming towards the boat.

"Maybe it's a trap," Charlie said, still holding my hand.

"What do you mean a trap?" Hurley responded.

I reached a hand up, fingering the charm of my necklace. Could we finally be saved? My heart pounded in my chest with hope. I watched the men swim out to the boat and it looked like they finally made it. What would they find?

We waited with bated breath, whispering amongst ourselves. Everyone had a different theory on what they would find. Someone said no one was there and a few people agreed. Someone else said that it was the Others, coming to torture us more. I wasn't sure what I believed.

It was a major letdown. The only person on the boat was Desmond, the man who was originally in the hatch. After abandoning us with the button, he sailed off, apparently in circles. I tried to feel sorry for him, but at the same time I wasn't.

Jack gave him some food, which he ignored preferring to drink his bottle of booze, and tried to talk to him. I watched from across one of the fires, sitting between Charlie and Claire, listening to the murmured whispers around us.

I watched Sayid walk over to where Jack and Desmond were sitting. I wanted to talk to him. It had been days since he spoke a word to me and I missed him. He avoided my eyes every time we came near each other and I wasn't completely sure why.

"I'm going to go to sleep," I said as I stood up, brushing the sand off my Capri's. "I'll see you two in the morning."

"'Bye Kalie," Charlie replied. Claire nodded, rocking Aaron slightly so he would sleep.

I left the group and walked down to my tent. After crawling inside, I pulled the blanket over me and tried to sleep. We had been so close, so close to rescue. The hope had returned for the first time in days, weeks even. But we had been let down, broken once again.

I lay in bed for hours, my eyes focused on the rip in the tarp. Sleep wouldn't come and my eyes wouldn't close. The darkness slowly turned into day and I crawled out just after dawn. People were already moving around and I had the feeling that like me, they couldn't sleep. The let down from the hope of rescue kept everyone's thoughts occupied.

Unable to stop myself, I walked over to where Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley and Michael were standing. "You're all leaving?"

"Last chance to come Kalie," Michael said, hoisting his pack on his shoulder.

"Wait just one minute here, you said it was just the five of us," Sawyer said looking over at me. "Tinkerbelle ain't comin'."

I shot the annoying man a glare and turned back to Michael. "I don't think so. There is no way I'm going any where near those people. I've had enough experience…" I trailed off; remembering I never told anyone about my encounter with 'Richard.'

Jack shot me a concerned look and I shrugged my shoulders. "Have a safe trip. Good luck," I said with a wave.

Stepping back, I watched the five of them walk away down the beach. "Please protect them," I whispered to whatever God was listening.

Sayid brushed passed me, barely glancing my way. "Sayid!" I yelled, following him quickly over the sand. "Sayid where are you going?"

"Not now Kalie." I stopped in the sand, watching him walk down to the shore where Desmond was pulling things from the water. What had I done to him?

I went back to my tent and pulled out my journal. Counting on my fingers, I tried to figure out the date, day 66 on the island and that made it November 26. Yesterday was Thanksgiving. We missed Thanksgiving. Seeing as how I wasn't born in America, I wasn't used to celebrating Turkey Day. But over the past few years, I had grown accustomed to celebrating the day.

Day turned in the night and once again, we were huddled around fires. My thoughts kept drifting to Michael's group and then to Sayid, Sun and Jin. Were they all right? Why did they sail off? Why the rest of the group wasn't informed about what was going on I had no idea. It wasn't fair.

I actually managed to sleep that night, though my dreams were plagued with visions of Boone and Shannon, being tormented by Sayid and Michael. Libby wove in and out while Hurley laughed in a corner. I woke up in confusion.

The sound of a guitar blew along with the breeze and I fingered my violin case. I should practice, but I couldn't bring myself to pull the instrument from the case. Instead, I crawled out and went to sit by Charlie. He smiled when he saw me and kept strumming his guitar.

"Charlie! Do you know how they got the hatch door open?" Eko burst onto the beach and knelt in the sand.

"No, but if you hum it, I can probably play it." I nudged his side, not sure if he was joking or being serious. He looked serious.

Eko shook his head, "no, the door with quarantine written on it."

"We blew it up, why?" Charlie resumed playing, but I couldn't dismiss the priest that easy. "Why do you want to know Eko?"

"Charlie, I need your help," Eko said, ignoring my question.

Rolling my eyes, I lay back in the sand, absentmindedly scratching at a bite on my leg. I wasn't included, what else was new.

"Oh now I'm back in your good graces, Father?"

"Locke is going to stop pushing the button. And I can guarantee that in ninety minutes, everyone on this island is going to die."

Locke not push the button? It didn't make sense.

"All right, I'm in."

"What?" I sat up and turned to Charlie. "What are you talking about? You're not serious?"

"Stay here Kalie. We'll be back."

They got up and left me sitting in the sand. What now? I went back to the tent and pulled out my violin, plucking easy kid songs, entertaining a few fellow survivors. I couldn't bear to bring the bow to the string. The last time I had played was when Boone was alive. He listened from behind me… I brushed a tear from my cheek and forced a smile.

Why was I still thinking like this? It had been almost a month since his death. He'd been gone longer than I'd known him.

As I sat, the earth started shaking. The leaves in the trees shook and several fell to the sand, pulled by gravity. I placed the violin back in the case and stood up with everyone else, looking around in confusion. What was going on?

"What's happening? Is it an earthquake?" Everyone was huddling close together. Claire held Aaron tight to her chest, Tracey and Steve held hands and I looked around wildly, wondering where everyone was and if they were safe.

And then, a hum penetrated the atmosphere and a brilliant flash of light lit up the sky. I collapsed in the sand, covering my ears with my hands, wishing and hoping it would stop. The noise and the light lasted thirty seconds, maybe forty and then stopped. There was nothing.

I looked up in shock. Something was crashing towards us. Bernard and Claire turned and ran as the object crashed to the sand. It was the hatch door.

It took a few minutes, but eventually everyone began picking up. All the food in the pantry was littered on the sand, tents had collapsed – including my own – and we quickly went to work, making our home again.

Charlie emerged from the jungle minutes later and I raced towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck as Bernard asked him questions. "I was so worried," I whispered, realizing he couldn't hear me.

I took his hand and we walked back towards the camp, stopping along the way for Charlie to kiss Aaron's forehead and hug Claire. If Charlie was back, where were Eko, Locke and Desmond? I hadn't seen them since early that morning. Why was I worried?

That night, I sat by Claire and Charlie, quickly realizing I wasn't welcome. Claire was hinting she wanted alone time with him and I wasn't going to ruin that, not when they were on good terms again.

Where was my brother? I thought as I walked back to my tent. What happened to Kate and the rest of them? Where were Locke and Eko? What about Desmond?

I was now left with more questions than I had answers.

* * *

**AN: And that's the end of Season 2. Thank you to everyone who's been reading and an extra special thanks to the 2 people who reviewed the last chapter: the werewolf gal and Jac Danvers. And thanks to Raine44354 who's been reviewing chapters as she reads. Thanks so much, and please leave a review on the way out. I love them and it's always good to give encouragement!**


	27. Unexpected Trouble

**Chapter 27: Unexpected Trouble, Day 68-70**

I woke up the next morning and everything was unusually quiet. The birds sang in the trees, but it seemed muted, almost as if the hum from the previous afternoon had silenced their happiness. I sat up and looked around, forgetting that I had fallen asleep outside my tent that night, fearful it would come crashing down on me in the middle of the night.

After pulling a bottle of water out of the tent and rummaging around for a leftover piece of fruit, I walked up the beach and towards the jungle. "Hey Kalie." I smiled and turned towards Charlie's voice. He was with Claire in her shelter. It was a struggle, but I managed to hold back my grin. I needed girl time with Claire later, to find out what happened after I left them last night.

"How are you two?" I asked politely, shooting a quick smile to Claire. She blushed and looked away towards the forest.

"We're good, and yourself?"

"When did John get back?" Claire asked and I turned to where she was looking. John was tearing down his shelter and began dragging the wooden poles and tarps down the beach.

"What's he doing? Where's he been? Where's everyone else? Don't you think you should go find out?" Claire asked, firing questions off quickly.

Charlie looked at me and shrugged. "I suppose I'll go ask him. Back later." He squeezed my shoulder as he walked passed.

Where was everyone else? Desmond and Eko were in the hatch with him last I knew. And where were Kate, Sawyer, Hurley and Jack? What about Sayid, Sun and Jin? They hadn't shown up and who knew what might have happened to them during the weird noise and flash of light yesterday.

"Kalie?" I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry, I'm still worried about Sayid. He isn't back yet."

Claire nodded, a sympathetic look on her face. "I'm sure he's fine. They went out in the boat right? They'll be back in no time."

"I'm sure you're right." I sat down and looked down into Aaron's crib. "Hard to believe he's almost a month old."

"You're telling me," Claire said, sitting down next to me. I tickled the baby's stomach, aware that his mother was watching me. "Are you okay? I know it's almost one month since…" she trailed off.

I nodded, smiling down at the infant boy. "I'm fine. I might not be in a couple days, but I'm fine right now." Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled at my friend. "So what happened with you and Charlie last night?"

"Nothing," she said a little too quickly, her cheeks turning bright pink.

"Really? Because you certainly looked cozy this morning." Claire glared at me and I started laughing. "All right, well I have to get some vines to fix my tent. I didn't get a chance to finish yesterday. I'll see you around."

Still laughing to myself, I walked to the jungle edge and began picking up vines, tossing them over my shoulder. When I had a pile, I dragged them back to my shelter and stared. Where to start?

I shifted the long sticks I had used to hold up the tarp, and some of the vines away. After unraveling the fresh vines from the jungle, I threaded them through the holes in the tarp and tied them to the sticks.

My eyes flicked over to a fallen tarp and it took me almost a minute to remember who it belonged to. Boone and Shannon. No one had been in it since Shannon moved over with Sayid. I struggled to ignore the grey tarp and concentrate on the action at hand.

But I couldn't tear my eyes away from what used to be Boone and Shannon's tent. Every time I glanced at it, I was hit with a flush of memories. I missed him, more so now that we were close to the one month mark. Only a few more days. I tied a vine through the last hole in my tarp and stood back, glancing over my work. I wasn't proud of it, but it would hold out the rain and that's all I needed it to do.

After a few minutes thought, I shrugged and walked over to the collapsed tent of my former boyfriend. I lifted up the tarp and shoved a pole under it, lifting if up off the sand. Crawling inside, I gazed around. Shannon had taken most of her things with her when Sayid built her new shelter. A lot of Boone's shirts were still left behind, clustered in piles and covered in sand.

I sifted through, pulling shirts and folding them. I'd wash them later, and find someone who needed them. Charlie was about the same size as Boone, maybe he would want one. My favorite shirt was on the bottom of the pile, it had Chinese letters on it. I pulled it to my chest, holding it tightly to me. I placed it aside, vowing to take it back to my tent.

It took nearly ten minutes to separate the clothes and fold them. There wasn't much else in the tent aside from the clothes. A pair of sunglasses had been tossed in the corner and I reached for them, placing them on my face. The bridge was cracked, nothing a piece of tape wouldn't fix. I tossed it on top of the tee shirt I planned to keep.

"Kay?" I turned around, surprised anyone had noticed me come over here. "What are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning out their tent. No one else has done it yet, and I highly doubt anyone will." I rocked back on my heels and looked up at Steve. He was smiling sadly down at me and I hated the look on his face.

"Do you need help?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm almost done. I'll see you later," I said, hoping he'd take the hint and leave. Thankfully he did, back down the beach towards Tracey.

After another quick look around, I piled the clothes, stuck the sunglasses on my head and walked back to my tent, carrying the load in front of me. I ignored the questionable looks I got and kept walking, holding my head high.

I dropped the pile in front of my tent and collapsed next to it. I wasn't tired; it was just so bloody hot. It was the end of November, and the temperature still had to be near the high 80's. Bloody insane.

A walk. I needed to take a walk and clear my head. Maybe I would go up to the caves. No one had been there in a while and I needed to clean these clothes. It wasn't too far of a walk and I knew the way, so I wasn't in risk of being caught by the Others.

Pulling my pack from the back of the tent, I emptied it out and stuffed the clothes inside along with a bottle of water and a few pieces of fruit. I hoisted the pack on my back and took off for the jungle. No one stopped me and I walked in peace, my thoughts constantly on the group Michael took and the group on the boat. I hoped they were okay.

I stopped once during my hike to pick a few flowers. I figured I would stop by Boone and Shannon's graves and leave them on my way back. It had been a while since I'd visited.

The caves loomed ahead of me and I quickened my pace, happy to finally be here. It was quiet save the trickling water and the waterfall and I realized how much I missed it. I had never lived here, but it was a nice, quiet place to come and think.

I walked through the entrance and looked around. Everything was as we left it; a few plane cushions tossed in a corner and rotted pieces of fruit in another. My eyes caught sight of the former infirmary and I closed them quickly, an image of Boone's broken body flashing before my eyes.

When I opened them, nothing was before me. I walked over to the waterfall and sat down on a rock, opening my pack and pulling out the shirts. Without soap, all I could do was rinse them in the water, which is what I did. I laid them in a patch of sun on the rocks and sat, waiting for them to dry.

I wandered the cave, content to sit here all afternoon. It was quiet, peaceful and all I heard was the rushing water. Since I didn't live here, I had few memories. Of course, the ones I did have were painful. Boone being carried in, moaning in pain and then dying. An image of his lifeless body flashed in my mind and I turned away from the former infirmary.

A stick cracked beyond the entrance and I spun, waiting for whomever to appear. When no one came forward, I took a few steps, looking around the cave. No one was there.

I walked a few more steps and paused, my eyes adjusted to the dim light. "Hello?" I called softly, scared for the first time since arriving at the caves. "Is anyone there?"

My feet moved subconsciously, and I soon found myself at the mouth of the cave. I looked around, trying to see who or what had made the noise. A stick cracked again and I spun towards the noise, gasping as a bag was brought over my head, covering my eyes. I screamed and was promptly kicked in the ankles, forcing me to drop to my knees.

No one spoke. I screamed again and was once again kicked, this time in the side. I rolled over onto my side, curling into a ball. The bag was lifted from my face slightly, and a cloth was placed over my mouth and lips. I tried not to breath, but was soon gasping, inhaling whatever was on the…

When I woke up I looked around and was not surprised to find the bag off my head. I sat up quickly and instantly regretted it. My head felt dizzy, probably from whatever they drugged me with to get me here.

I looked slowly around the dreary room. It looked like a cabin of sorts, similar to the one my uncle had in northern England. The walls were wooden planks, decorated with nothing but cobwebs and dirt and there were no windows, the only light coming from a small lamp on the bedside table. There was little furniture in the room, the bed I was sitting on occupied most of the space along with a small table and chair.

There was a door, and I knew without even walking over to check it, it would be locked. But I had to check. Bracing my hands on the bed, I slowly stood up, my head still swimming from the drug. I walked slowly over to the door and jiggled the doorknob. It was locked, just as I suspected.

Running my hands along the doorframe, I searched for something, anything. I didn't even know what I was looking for. My fingers ran along the border and I pulled back suddenly, cursing a splinter.

"Get back!" I heard shouted from the other side of the door. "I'm coming in."

I raced to the bed and sat down, cradling my head in my hands. The sudden movement sent my head swimming.

The lock clicked and the door was pushed open. I shut my eyes at the startling burst of light. When I opened my eyes, I made out a faint black figure in the doorway. "Are you all right?" The figure asked softly.

"I've juts been kidnapped. How do you think I feel?" Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I could finally make out what the figure looked like. She had blonde hair down past her shoulders and was wearing jeans with a white blouse over a pink tank top. I recognized her. She was the woman in the woods who warned me to stay away.

"Here." She walked into the cabin, leaving the door wide open, and handed me a plate. "I thought you might be hungry so I brought you a sandwich and tea."

I looked down at the plate and cup and suppressed the urge to throw it and run. Instead, I took a bite and placed the plate onto the bed. "Why am I here? I wasn't far in the woods and I wasn't bothering anyone."

"You were on the list. And you didn't come before…" she trailed off and I was confused, not to mention that my head still hurt from being dizzy for so long.

"what list? When before?"

She shook her head and stood up. "Finish your lunch."

"Lunch? How long have I been here?"

"Just over a day. It took a while for you two wake up."

"Over a day? I've been out for over a day!" My hands began to shake as I got angrier. "Let me go!" I screamed loudly, hoping someone could hear me outside the cabin.

The blonde woman shrugged and offered me a sad smile. "I wish I could. I'll be back later to get your plate." She smiled again and walked out the door, locking it behind her. I heard the lock click, but I still had to get up and check.

Once I made sure the lock was clicked, I paced the small space. Back and forth I walked. If this had been a movie, I would have worn a hole in the floor. Every few steps, I glanced at the sandwich sitting on the bed. My stomach growled and I gave up boycotting the sandwich, opting to eat it and keep my strength up. Who knew when I would have a chance to escape?

Without a window, I wasn't able to tell how much time had passed since the blonde woman brought my lunch. So I waited, taking comfort in the table lamp and the bed. I waited, and strangely wondered if anyone would notice I was missing. Charlie and Claire might, but they probably weren't paying attention. Last I knew, Charlie was off with Locke and Claire was taking care of Aaron. Sayid would have noticed me missing, but he still wasn't back yet as far as I knew. Would he even care now?

What about Jack and that group? Were they here? Where was here?

The lock clicked once again and I jumped, waiting to see if the blonde woman would emerge once again. Instead, a man appeared. He didn't speak, and it took my eyes several minutes to adjust to the brightness. When they did, I looked at the man, still standing silently in the doorway.

"Kalie, we must go. Now!" He gestured for me to move and quickly. His voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place where I had heard it before.

"Who are you? Where am I going?" I was terrified to move, but at the same time wanted to run out the door. Who was this man and where was he taking me?

The man took a step into the room and I realized why his voice sounded familiar. He was the man I ran into in the woods, after meeting the blonde woman, Richard. "Move Kalie. You're going to go back to your camp. Go."

I jumped up from the bed and ran the few steps to the door. "Why are you letting me go?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I refuse to be part of this. Now go; run Kalie!"

With a quick glance up at him, I ran out the door and down the sidewalk. It was dark and the moon was high in the sky. I wasn't sure what time it was or if I could even find my way back. "Here," Richard said and took my arm, leading me away from the cabin and onto a path. "Follow this path. It will lead you right back to the cave where you were taken from. I trust you can find your way back to the camp from there. Take this torch," he pulled a torch from the cabin and handed it to me. "Go straight on the path and do not stop. Go!"

I looked up at my rescuer one last time and ran. I went down the path as quickly as I could, taking care not to trip on upturned roots and rocks. Only three times did I fall, scraping the palms of my hands and nearly putting my torch out.

Finally, after what felt like hours – and probably was – I reached the caves. The moon had fallen down behind the mountain and the sun was just beginning to rise. I collapsed on a flat rock by the waterfall, surprised to still find the shirts from yesterday. Or was it two days?

When the sun had finally risen in the sky I gathered up the shirts and my pack, and walked down the path back to the camp. I struggled to ignore the clicks and snaps that echoed through the trees. Noises always seemed louder in the jungle than they did on the beach. More things for the sound to bounce off of I suppose.

I finally arrived at my tent, shaking and scared. Not too many people were up yet, and I assumed it was still early. I dropped my pack inside the tent along with the shirts and collapsed just out side the door.

I was now terrified to go anywhere on my own. The first time I was further into the woods than I should have been. But this time, I was at the caves, not far from camp at all… only two miles! Could I tell anyone? Who could I get to stay with me? I was terrified in a place I once felt safe.

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**AN: What a great start to Season 3. Thanks so much to the two people who reviewed the previous chapter: Jac Danvers and the werewolf gal. Your both awesome! Please, please leave a review on your way out. I will love you forever :-) Thanks for reading!**


	28. Friendship is a Sheltering Tree'

**Chapter 28: 'Friendship is a Sheltering Tree,' Day 70-72**

"Kalie?" I looked up quickly, terrified, my heart pounding rapidly. When I realized it was just Charlie, I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. When I opened them again, he was kneeling beside me and holding my hand. "Kalie, what's wrong?" "Tell me," he said, his voice strong.

I shook my head and avoided looking at him. If I did, I knew I would tell him everything and I wasn't sure how well that would go over or what he would do. So instead, I forced a smile. "I'm fine. You scared me is all."

He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you since yesterday morning."

"Well, I cleaned out Boone and Shannon's tent." A look of pity crossed my friend's face, but I ignored it. I didn't need that, not now. "The clothes had been sitting there for a while, so I figured I'd wash them and find out if someone needed them. I went to the caves, and spent the afternoon and night washing them. By the time I was done, it was too late to walk back by myself so I stayed in the caves." It killed me how easily I just lied to him. I never used to lie, but now it seemed I was doing it more and more easily.

Charlie nodded, but I could tell he didn't believe me. Should I tell him? Could I tell him? What would he say? What would he do?

"Okay, that's not completely true," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"So what is the truth?" He asked patiently.

I took another deep breath and started to talk. "I did clean out the tent and I did go to the caves, but I didn't spend all afternoon and night washing and it wasn't yesterday, it was the day before. I was in the caves and I heard a noise, so I went to investigate and the next thing I knew, I was locked up in a cabin."

He started to interrupt, but I held up my hand. Now that I had started, I needed to get this out. "It was them, the Others. A blonde woman brought me lunch and later that night, a man let me go." I paused and took another breath. "I've seen both of them before, in the woods last month. They let me go then too."

"Kalie," he whispered, a sad look on his face that I couldn't place. "Come on," he said and stood up, holding out his hand for me to take. "You're coming with me."

I took his offered hand and stood up. "Where are we going?"

"To sit with Claire. You don't have to tell her, but I want you near us, not alone." He held my hand tightly while we walked over to his and Claire's tent.

I wasn't alone here. For the past few weeks I had been thinking I was alone here and that I had no one to talk to. But I did. Even if Boone was gone and Sayid not speaking to me, I had Charlie and Claire, my first friends here. I was a third wheel in their strange relationship, or maybe fourth if you counted Aaron.

When we came to their tent, Desmond was standing outside talking to Claire. "What are you doing there, brother?" Charlie asked as we walked up.

"I was just offering to fix this roof." Desmond smiled at me and I smiled back before letting go of Charlie's hand and walking over to sit by Aaron's bassinet.

"If there's a problem, I can fix it. I was building a church before Eko exploded." I spun to face him, forgetting for a moment that the hatch exploded and the island shook.

Desmond nodded, "all right. Well, just trying to help."

"Yeah, thanks," Claire said as Desmond walked away. "What was that about?"

"We need to get that guy another button to push." Charlie said, putting his arm around Claire and smiling at me. "Kalie's going to be joining us for a while. She's been alone too much."

Claire grinned and nodded. "Definitely. You're more than welcome to stay around here."

"Thanks. I'm just going to run back to my tent and get my journal and a tee shirt. I'm feeling a bit chilly." I left them and walked back down the beach towards my shelter. The clothes were where I had left them earlier, so I grabbed one of Boone's tee shirts and pulled it over my head. It didn't smell like him anymore, but the feeling of comfort was still there.

As I reached under my mattress of plane cushions to find my journal, I realized the date. Today was November 30th, James' birthday, or at least it would be if he were still alive. He'd be seventeen today. I wonder if Dad and Ashton were having a birthday remembrance or if they were going to ignore it.

What could he be thinking? Dad lost Mum, then James and now me. They had to think we were all dead. No wreckage from the plane could have been found, it was all right here.

"You all right?" I turned, surprised to find Rose standing behind me. She smiled down at me and I couldn't help but smile back. To me, Rose always personified happiness and strength. Even before Bernard returned, she always knew he was alive.

"Yes, thank you. I'm fine. Just a bit chilly." I gestured to the tee shirt I was now wearing and smiled. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm all right. I'll see you later. I need to check on Bernard. He's probably planning another SOS or something." She shook her head and I laughed.

I grabbed the journal from under the mattress and walked back down the beach to Charlie and Claire. Halfway there the sky darkened and a loud crack of thunder sounded through the sky. I ran underneath the nearest tent, which happened to be our pantry, and hid as the rain started to downpour. It hit the sand and was soaked up immediately and the breeze that blew whipped the tarp and sent the rain hitting me, soaking my hair and clothes. So much for trying to be warm. I heard Aaron crying the short distance up the beach and screamed as a bright crack of lightning hit somewhere near Charlie and Claire's tent.

I wanted to run down to where they were, but I wasn't going to tempt fate. Lightning could and would strike the same place twice and I'd rather not get hit. I couldn't see if they were okay, but no one screamed. They had to be fine.

The rain came down fast and heavy for another ten minutes or so before letting up almost as quickly as it started. As soon as it trickled to a drizzle and no more thunder sounded in the sky, I ran down the beach to Claire, Charlie and Aaron.

"What happened?" I shrieked when I reached them. Claire was holding Aaron to her chest and Charlie's arm was around them both.

"The lightning didn't hit us," he said with his voice unusually calm. "Desmond built that… that thing." He pointed towards where the Scotsman was sitting. I looked down at the ground and saw the remnants of whatever Charlie was talking about. He smiled and waved at me before I turned back to my friends.

I sat in the sand next to them, waiting for someone to speak. When no one did, I opened up the ragged notebook and skimmed through. I know I'd done this numerous times, but I still couldn't get over how long we'd been here and how much everyone changed. How much my feelings towards people changed as well.

"Oh dear," I said aloud without meaning to.

"What?" Claire asked, putting Aaron into his bassinet.

"Aaron turns one month tomorrow, doesn't he?" I whispered without looking up and meeting Claire's eyes.

"Yes, he…" she trailed off and I knew what she was thinking.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I glanced over, it was Charlie. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I replied, not believing it for a moment. My mind struggled to wrap around the idea that he had been gone for a month. I knew it and my heart knew it, but it still wasn't real to me.

"Can I talk to you Kay?"

I turned and looked up at Charlie. "Sure."

"Come on," he said and held out his hand. For the second time that day, I took it and walked with him down the beach, leaving Claire to tend to Aaron.

We walked down the beach in silence, my arms crossed in front of me as I concentrated on walking through the sand. One month had passed since my world had been flipped upside down.

"Locke built this… sweat lodge where we were building the church," Charlie said as we stopped by the water's edge. "He made me keep watch while he was in there. Bloody crazy if you ask me, but I did it. After we saved Eko, I asked him what he saw in his lodge thing."

When he paused, I looked over at him, waiting for him to continue. "What did Locke see?"

"Boone."

My heart stopped and I looked up into my friend's eyes, feeling my own fill with tears. "What?"

"He said he saw Boone in his vision. Boone told him to clean up his own mess." I looked at him with a questioning look and Charlie smiled slightly. "If Locke had never stopped pushing the button, Eko wouldn't have needed saving and all that lot."

"Would you believe me if I said Boone's appeared to me in one of my dreams?"

Charlie laughed and again I was confused. "Kalie, we're trapped on an island with a smoke monster, where a hatch exploded because we stopped pushing a button and there are island natives who want to kill us. I'll believe nearly anything right now."

"Right after the funeral, when I went to sleep that night. He told me he loved me. It was so real…" I trailed off and struggled to blink the tears away.

Charlie wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let the tears fall. "Hey," he said softly, tilting my chin up so I met his eyes. "We're going to be rescued and we'll get off this sodding island. Then you can leave all this behind and go back to school. I'll work on writing that duet and we can record it, becoming rich and famous."

I laughed through my tears, wiping them away with my fingers. "Thanks Charlie. You really are a good friend."

"I try. Come on. I'm hungry, how about you?"

"Yeah, there should be some fish left in the pantry."

We ate dinner with Claire and Aaron before settling in for the night. I stared up at the stars, cuddled under the airplane blanket from my tent. Eventually I drifted off to sleep, the sounds of the ocean relaxing me.

I woke up the morning of December 1st confused. I knew it was December, but the weather… I was weirded out by the weather. Once my brain wrapped around that, I realized the other significance of the date. One month. Sure, on the positive side Aaron was one month old. But on the flip side, Boone had been gone for one month.

First thing that morning, I walked the short distance from my tent to the cemetery. I ignored Charlie's snores and Tracey's wave**.** I had dreamed of it last night, Boone's death. My dream was so strange, yet so real. Everything happened as it had in real life; Locke carried Boone into the caves when I was getting water. My heart stopped, just as it had that day and I when I woke up, my pillow was stained with wet, salty tears.

Along my short walk to the cemetery, I picked wildflowers, separating them into two piles, one for Shannon's grave and the other for Boone's. I placed the first bouquet on Shannon's grave and bent down, smiling at Sayid's prayer beads that were draped over the crudely cut cross marking the grave. "Hey Shannon," I said softly. "I actually miss you. When we crashed here, I definitely didn't think that would happen. I wanted nothing to do with you and you thought the same of me. Well, I hope wherever you are you're at peace. Miss you." I smiled down at the mound of dirt, now covered with the beginnings of grass and weeds.

Standing up and stretching my legs, I looked over at the other grave, Boone's. "Hi," I whispered, walking the few steps over to his mound of dirt also covered with the beginnings of grass. I knelt down and placed the flowers on the dirt, tossing the previous bunch to the side. "I miss you. I miss you so much. Nights are lonely and I get scared far too easily. They got me. The Others. They dragged me off to a cabin in the woods and then one of them set me free. I told Charlie, but no one else…not even Sayid, which worries me. I should be able to talk to him; he's all I have left**. **But he doesn't talk much anymore, at least not to me. Ever since Shannon died, it's like a part of him is gone as well, which I understand completely."

I moved from a kneeling position to sit in the grass, my fingers twisting the charm on what used to be Boone's necklace. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at the name carved on the wood. "You've been gone for a month and all I want is to have you back. I want to hear your voice again, telling me that it's okay to go to sleep, that you'll be with me. I want to feel your arms around me, holding me so close to your chest that I can hear your heart beat.

"I try to hear your voice in my head, but all I get out is a couple words." I paused, wiping a few stray tears from my cheek. "I miss you, so very much. I'm trying really hard to move on, but then something will happen and I think about you. I love you so much."

I let the tears fall on my jeans, staring down at the dirt. I had to leave, needed to leave the cemetery. We'd been here for seventy one days. Who would have thought that we'd last this long? We all assumed we'd be rescued after a few hours, days at the most. Now we were working on months.

Christmas was coming up. I wonder if Daddy still had hope that I was alive. My death would have killed him after losing Mum and James. And who knew how it would affect Ashton. He didn't talk about James and Mum much, at least not to me.

Standing up, I brushed the dirt and grass from my pants and shirt. I kissed my fingers and laid them on Boone's cross. "I love you," I whispered softly as a warm breeze blew through the cemetery.

I walked passed Ana Lucia, Libby and Scott's graves, saying a quiet prayer to keep their souls safe. Hopefully we wouldn't have to add any more of our friends to this cemetery. We didn't need to lose anyone else.

I kicked at sand as I walked back to our beach, sending dust and debris flying around me. I felt like Pigpen from Peanuts, surrounded by a cloud of dirt. The beach was quiet and lacking the usual people milling about. Sayid was standing outside his tent; I hadn't even realized he'd come back. Did I want to stop and talk to him?

Before I could stop myself, I walked over to him and sat outside the doorway to his tent. I didn't talk, but stared out over the water. Our silence was deafening and it was a struggle not to break it. So I waited for him to speak first.

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly, breaking into my train of thought. His voice was harsh, rough with what I was assuming to be sleep. It was still early in the morning.

"I don't know," I whispered back, being completely honest. "Do you know what today it?"

"December 1st."

I nodded, not bothering to elaborate. Carefully I watched his face, looking for some sign that he realized the significance. Nothing crossed his face and my heart fell. "All right. Bye." I walked away, wondering what I did to upset my brother so much.

"Kalie."

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I turned in the sand to face him. "I am sorry," he said softly. "I didn't realize what today was.

"That's fine. I'll leave you alone."

"Don't you want to know why I have been so angry?"

I did, more than anything. "Yes," I said but I shook my head. "Tell me later. I need to be alone."

I walked away again, and this time he didn't call me back. I wandered the beach, feeling strange that Sawyer wasn't around to call me Tinkerbelle. Where were they? Jack's group had been gone for five days. According to Charlie, Hurley returned to the beach two days ago, warning everyone to stay away from _them. _They let him go to warn us, _how nice of them_, I thought sarcastically. I didn't certainly need to be told twice. I had more than my fair share of run-ins with The Others and I didn't want to have anymore if I could help it.

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**AN: Wow this chapter took forever to write! Thanks to the three people who reviewed: the werewolf gal, Jac Danvers and SleeplessRiverStorm.**

**The chapter title is a quote from ****Samuel Taylor Coleridge, not mine.**


	29. Healing

**Chapter 29: Healing, Day 76-79**

Sayid had disappeared again, gone off on another trek into the jungle. I looked for him the course of a few days, but every time I stopped by his tent, he was gone. Now that the one month anniversary of Boone's death had passed, I was concentrating on moving on. I needed to leave him behind. There was no way he was coming back, so there was no point in longing for it. Sure, I would think about him and wish, but I wouldn't let it control my life like it had. I had Charlie and Claire, and I needed to be with them.

It was now December 6th and we had been on this bloody island for seventy six days. Jack's group hadn't returned from their trek across the island and we had lost Mr. Eko.

"Kalie?" I looked up from my journal, into Sayid's deep brown eyes. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

My lips pulled back into a thin smile and I nodded, shutting my notebook and putting aside. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I haven't been around enough later and I am sorry. I should talk to you, but it's difficult." He knelt down in the sand next to me. "After losing Nadia and then Shannon…" he trailed off, but now had my interest.

"Nadia? Who is Nadia?" He sighed loudly and I quickly backpedaled. "Never mind, forget I asked."I felt my cheeks blush brilliant pink and immediately looked down, avoiding his eyes.

"Nadia is the only other woman I have loved. We grew up together, in Iraq. She used to torment me, because I was so much smaller than her and my brother." His voice lightened, and I could hear a smile. "She moved away and I went into the military. We met again, when I was an interrogator." He paused and I sat up again. "She was in custody and I brought her food and water. I let her escape."

I now looked up at him and into his eyes that were so like my own. "Nadia was the reason I was on the plane. I thought she was dead for many years, she may be now. But I had reason to believe she is in California. I was going to find her. I'm torn between grieving for Shannon and hoping to be rescued so that I may find Nadia."

I nodded, unsure of what he wanted me to say or what I should say. "I'm sorry Kalie, I am. I don't mean to hurt you and I should be there for you, that is what brothers are supposed to do, or so I'm told." I forced a smile and nodded. "If you need me, please don't hesitate to find me. I can't promise that I will be much easier to talk to, but I will try."**  
**

"I will," I said softly. He kissed my forehead and stood up, leaving me alone in the sand.

My eyes watched him walk down the beach and disappear. I shook my head before standing up and walking away from my tent. Charlie was down by the water, sitting and staring, the same as he'd been doing lately.

"Hey," I said, sitting next to him in the sand. "What's going on? You've been awfully down lately."

He glanced up at me for a moment before returning his gaze to the water. "Yeah, I've uh… not been having the greatest few days."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Thanks, but I think I'm good." He picked up a rock from by his side and tossed it out towards the water.

"Okay, well you know you can tell me anything. You're the only one who knows about what happened to me in the jungle, so I feel like that means I owe you."

Charlie turned to me, a small smile on his face that didn't quite meet his eyes. "I guess you might be right. If I decide I want to talk about it, I'll let you know."

"Do you want to be alone?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

I patted his arm before standing up and walking away. About twenty feet away, I turned back. He was still tossing small rocks into the water, staring out over the horizon. I wanted to go back and force him to tell me what was wrong, but I didn't. Instead, I turned away from him and continued up the beach towards the forest. I waved to Sun and Jin, paused to talk to Rose and helped Nikki and Paulo gather bananas.

Sometime in mid afternoon, I took a break, lying back in the sand and letting the sun wash over me. It felt wonderful on my arms and legs, and warmed me completely."Hey look!" I heard someone call out. Sitting up, I held my hand over my eyes to block out the sun. Walking across the sand towards us was Kate and Sawyer.

I jumped up and walked quickly over to them, standing in line to hug them both. "Hey Kate," I said as I wrapped my arms around her in a quick hug.

Everyone around me milled about, asking question in rapid fire. "Hey there Tinkerbelle," Sawyer said and I rolled my eyes.

"Hi Sawyer, welcome back." I gave him a quick hug before pulling back and walking away from him. I didn't like him, and that would never change. But I was happy to see that he was back safe and sound.

It was a long day and by the time I got back to my tent that night, it was late. The moon was high in the sky and I collapsed onto my mattress without even pulling the blanket over me. I stared up at the tarp in the darkness, not being able to tell the different between the entrance and wall.

"Kalie?" A torch shined in through what I now realized was the entrance.

"Charlie? Is that you?" I sat up on my elbows and tried to make out the face of the person in my doorway.

"Yeah, were you sleeping?"

"No. What are you doing here? It's late."

Sticking the torch in the sand outside my tent, Charlie crawled inside and sat in front of me. "I'm going to die."

My head dropped as I stared at him. "We're all going to die," I managed to say softly, shocked by his blunt statement.

"Yeah, but I'm going to die soon. Desmond says he can see the future, and he has visions of me and I always die."

"That's… but no. Charlie you aren't going to die." I shook my head back and forth, willing myself not to believe it. This was outrageous. "This is outrageous," I said softly, suddenly very angry. "Who is Desmond to say that? How can you even believe that he's telling the truth?"

"I just do. I can't explain it but I know he's telling the truth." He sighed and looked over at me in the flickering light. "I'm not telling you this to upset you, it's just… you said I could tell you anything."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. How am I supposed to deal with this? How many more people were we going to lose? "You aren't going anywhere. You'll still be here when we get rescued, whenever that is. Who's going to take care of Claire and Aaron if something happens to you?"

"Claire can take care of herself and Aaron. Besides there are other people here who can help her, you for instance." He smiled at me, but I didn't respond. "Kalie?" He reached out, took my hand and tilted my chin up so he looked into my eyes.

"Does she know? Have you told her yet?"

His hand dropped from my chin and he shook his head. "No, and I don't plan on it."

"So… you're just going to not say goodbye?"

"What do you want me to tell her? How do you want me to tell her? 'I'm sorry Claire, but I'm going to die soon. Guess we won't be able to do everything we've talked about.' I don't know if that will go over all that well."

"Yeah, you're right," I agreed softly, with a small nod. "She'll either think your crazy or overreact."

"And I don't need her worried, not right now." I lay back on my mattress and stared up at the ceiling. "Are you okay?"

My lips pulled back in a thin line and I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Yeah, you've just got me worried now."

"Hey," he said, patting my leg. "Don't worry about me. Desmond said he's saved my life a few times now and he'll keep trying. I'll be around for a little while at least."

"I'd rather you were around for a bit longer than that."

"Yeah, so would I, but I'll take what I can get for right now. I'll see you later though; I should get over to Claire before she worries about me." Charlie patted my leg once again before crawling out of the tent and taking his torch with him.

Once again I was plunged into darkness. I heard the waves crash against the sand and the wind blow through the trees. It was nearly silent on our little island and I as I drifted off to sleep, I wondered what my father and Ashton were doing. Were they okay? Did they think I was dead, or did they still hold out hope that I would turn up alive?

The sun shone brightly through the tears in my tarp, waking me up far earlier than I wanted. I crawled out of the tent, stretching as I looked up at the sun. It wasn't very high in the sky, and I figured it was somewhere around seven or eight in the morning.

I changed tank tops and pulled one of Boone's tee shirts over top before grabbing my rag and water bottle and head to the water trough. "Good morning Rose!" I called brightly, pouring water over the rag and wiping it across my face.

"Morning Kalie. How are you? I haven't seen much of you lately." She puttered about the kitchen area and I watched her with a smile on my face.

"Yeah, I've been around. It's been a rough few weeks."

She paused in her movement, and turned to me with a sad smile. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm much better than I was." I played with the hem of Boone's shirt as I waited for my water bottle to fill. "Well I'll see you later Rose." I twisted the top on the bottle and walked away with the damp rag dripping from my hand. "Hey Rose, have you seen Sayid? I need to talk to him."

"He left yesterday with Kate and Locke. I think they were going to look for Jack."

Rolling my eyes, I walked away, dropping my things off at the tent. I looked down the beach to a group of people gathered. I made out Hurley and what looked like Nikki. To give me something to do, I wandered down the sand to see what they were doing.

"What's going on?" I asked Nikki, watching them tie a rope to a table. Hurley and Charlie started hitting a ball back and forth and I finally realized what was happening. "Where did we get a ping pong table?"

"Jin found it in the jungle."

"Hurley is going to play Sawyer for his things. If Sawyer wins, we have to give him everything from his stash, but if Hurley wins no nicknames for a week," Sun said, smiling over at me.

"That's wonderful. Will Hurley win?"

"Dude, I will totally win," Hurley said, serving the ball so fast, Charlie barely noticed it went passed him.

"You're the number one draft pick, Grimace?" Sawyer asked a few minutes later, picking up the paddle and ball.

"Yep. Are we playing with the mercy rule?" Hurley asked, an innocent look on his face.

"Mercy rule?"

"Yeah, if I'm up eleven to zero, I automatically win." Charlie stood next to me and I shot him a quick grin. This might be good.

"You're going to go up eleven zero?"

"Well, either one of us."

"Sure, we can have a mercy rule." I fought to hide my grin as I looked up at Sawyer. How nice it would be when he stopped calling everyone by a nickname.

"You wanna volley for serve?"

With a quick eye roll, Sawyer tossed the ball across the table. "I'll tell ya what, be my guest." He smirked and Hurley twirled the ball in his fingers.

"Zero serving zero," Hurley said, tossing the ball onto the table and hitting it. Sawyer shifted quickly to the right, shot it back but Hurley was too quick. By the time Sawyer looked up again, the ball shot passed his left shoulder and landed in the sand. Our group cheered loudly, clapping and jumping up and down. "One nothing," Hurley said successfully hiding the smirk I just knew he wanted to show.

The game continued and soon Hurley was up, fourteen to three. Hurley served the last shot, and the volley lasted maybe twenty seconds, culminating in one last hit from Hurley, hitting Sawyer square on the forehead.

"Damnit!" He yelled, collapsing to the ground clutching his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Nikki moved forward quickly, but Sawyer stood before she made it to him.

"I'm fine. Good job, you win. I'm outta here." He stormed off down the sand, leaving us to cheer at his loss.

"It'll be interesting to actually be called our names for a while," I said to Charlie. "I'm tired of being called Tinkerbelle."

"Yes well, at least he only has one name for you. The rest of us have several, sometimes all in the same sentence."

I nodded with a smile. "Charlie, come walk with me please?"

"Uh, yeah sure," he said, his voice sounding confused. But he followed me anyway. I led him down the sand and a few steps into the trees.

Taking his hand, I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "What was that for?" He asked, his eyebrows narrowed, but he still held my hand.

"It's your birthday tomorrow. Happy early birthday. Your birthday is tomorrow right?"

"How did you know…?" He asked, still obviously confused.

Laughing, I squeezed his hand before letting it go. "The census Hurley took a few months ago, I found it in the cave. I'm trying to remember everyone's birthday. Well, at least the people I care about."

"So me, Claire and Sayid?" Charlie asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, pretty much. We've already passed Claire's, October 27th, and Sayid's isn't until June, the 7th."

"Well thank you for the birthday gift, I haven't gotten one that good in a while." I slapped his arm with a small laugh. "I should get back to Claire. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you." He walked away, but I remained hidden in the trees.

Seventy eight days we had been stranded here. I've stopped hoping for someone to come. I've given up hope of rescue. Now, all I want is to survive.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the lack of updates. It's been a stressed two months with starting my new job. But, hopefully I'll be back to writing this regularly. Thanks so much for reading, and please leave a review if you're still reading and let me know what you think!**


	30. Hope, in More Ways than One

**Chapter 30: Hope, in More Ways than One, Day 80-84**

The day was bright and sunny, something I had grown accustomed to on this tropical island. I wouldn't keep much hope that it would stay this way, the weather on the island tended to change quickly from bright and sunny to dark and rainy in a matter of minutes, sometimes less.

The morning of Day 80 dawned the same as usual, sunny with a warm breeze blowing across the sand. I did my usual stretches, changed clothes and searched the tent for my water bottle tossed aside the previous night. Breakfast was eaten up by the food pantry, a bowl of Dharma Cheerios and stale water. It might not be much, but it was better than dried fruit and fish.

I took a walk across the beach; calling hellos to everyone I passed. I was in a great mood, which shocked me completely. It was a beautiful day and I wasn't going to spend it in a foul mood.

"Claire? What are you doing?" I asked, walking over to where she was standing in the water. It looked like she was helping Jin with a net, but the net was on some sort of tent.

"Would you like to help me?" She put down the net and nodded to Jin, a large smile on her face. "We're going to catch a bird."

I cocked my head to one side, confused. "Why are we catching a bird?"

"A flock of birds flew over my head this morning. They're tagged," she added with another large grin.

"You're going to try to send a message? That's… How ever did you think of that?" I dropped my pack to the sand and kicked off my shoes, rolling up my pant legs so they wouldn't get wet.

"I dunno, it just came to me. Charlie thinks it's a stupid idea."

Instead of responding like I wanted, I opted to keep my mouth shut. "Well, what can I do to help?"

The grin spread across Claire's face as she wiped her hands together. "Could you help Sun and I spread the chum around in the water? The birds'll land and we'll have a better shot at catching one."

I picked up one of the buckets and followed Claire out to the water. We dumped the disgusting, smelly fish into the water and spread it around. Of all the things I thought I'd be doing, spreading fish chum was definitely not one of them.

While we spread the mutilated fish around, Jin hooked up a long rope to the nets, stretching it all the way out to a nearby dune. "All right," Claire said after nearly ten minutes of working. "I say we sit by and watch. With any luck, we'll catch one and we can attach this note." She pulled a small, folded paper out of her pocket with a shy smile.

"Good idea," Sun said, placing her hands on her hips.

We walked over and sat in a cluster on one of the sand dunes. Jin held the rope while we women watched with baited breath. Finally, the flock landed. I struggled to hold my grin back; I didn't want to jinx our luck. "One, two," Jin said, pulling the rope back.

Just as he was going to pull it fully, trapping some birds in the cage, a gunshot sounded across the beach, causing all the birds to quickly take flight. "Oh no," Claire screamed, jumping up and running towards the water. Jin, Sun and I stood up slowly. Jin crept around the dune and I looked up, suddenly very angry.

Jin started yelling in Korean and I looked over to see who he was yelling at. Desmond came walking over the sand dunes with a shotgun in his hand. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" Claire screamed, storming off towards him, Sun and me behind her. "What were you doing?"

"I'm sorry! I was shooting at a boar. I had no idea you were out here," Desmond said in a very believable tone.

"Where's Charlie? Isn't he out here with you?"

"He's back at the camp. Look I'm really sorry." I rolled my eyes, angrily placing my hands on my hips.

"So it's just you?"

Desmond nodded, "Aye, it's just me."

"You don't want me to catch the birds, do you?" She asked, after a few minutes of sarcastic comments thrown at Desmond.

"Claire, I'm sure that's not what happened. It was just an accident, right?" I looked expectantly up at Desmond and he nodded.

"Why wouldn't I want you to catch the birds?"

"Claire!" I called, as she started to walk off. Doubling back, I picked up my pack and quickly hurried to catch up with her. As I passed Jin and Sun, I shrugged and smiled, hurrying to walk with Claire. "Wait up."

"Leave me alone," she said loudly, causing me to stop in my tracks. Pissed off Claire, not good to follow. Rather than anger her anymore, I held back, watching her storm up to Charlie and yell at him.

I stood off to the side, hearing her faint yelling. Her last words, "get out," rang through out the camp.

"Charlie," I said softly as he stormed passed me. He ignored me, as I figured he would, and continued down the beach. I stood rooted to the sand, running over my three options. I could go to Claire, try and talk some sense into her about Charlie; I could go to Charlie and try to get him to talk with Claire; or I could just stay to myself and keep my nose out of their business. I opted for the third option.

Letting my feet sink into the sand, I walked over and sat in front of my tent. I pulled out my journal and began writing about our almost chance at hope for rescue.

_I don't normal think about it anymore, at least I'm trying not to. We've been here for almost three months and seen no ships, no planes. It's easy to forget we have families outside the island. It's not easy to forget that we have enemies here. _

_Sayid, Kate and Locke haven't returned yet, and it's been almost four days. I'm finding myself actually longing for him to return. Maybe we can mend our relationship… maybe I can have a chance at a family here._

A short while later, voices carried over the sand and I looked up from my journal. Claire and Charlie were standing by the water's edge, Claire was holding a bird. Putting my journal aside, I stood up and slowly walked closer to where they were standing.

"To Whom It May Concern, we are survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. We have survived on this island for 80 days. We were 6 hours into the flight when the pilot said we were off course and turned back towards Fiji. We hit turbulence and crashed. We've been waiting here, all this time, waiting for rescue that has not come. We do not know where we are, we only know you have not found us. We've done our best to live on this island. Some of us have come to accept that we may never leave it. Not all of us have survived since the crash, but there is new life too, and with it, there is hope. We are alive. Please don't give up on us."

I watched Charlie as he tied the letter to the bird's leg and Claire released it out over the water. They held hands and I turned to watch the bird fly away. Maybe, just maybe it was enough to give us hope of rescue. Someone might find the bird, find our letter and continue searching. We might still be rescued; we might still be able to go home.

A few hours later, whether it actually was or not, I'm not sure, I heard my name called softly and then louder until it was right in front of me. The light had dimmed and the sun already set in the sky, sending bright pinks, yellows and reds across the sky and over the water.

"Kalie?" I looked up at the sound of my name. Claire was standing in front of me, her hands crossed over her chest. "Do you have a minute?"

"Umm, yeah." I marked my place in the book and shut the cover, placing it by my side. Standing up, I walked the few feet to her. "What's going on?" I asked when I reached her.

"You know, don't you?"

"Know what?" I asked softly, having a slight idea on what I supposedly knew.

"About Charlie." Two words and I felt my heart sink.

Closing my eyes I nodded. When I opened them, I took a deep breath, "yeah. He told me a few days ago. I'm sorry. I would have told you, but I didn't think it was my place.

"I just wanted to know if you knew also. Good night," she said as she turned and walked away.

I watched her go, confused by the quick exchange we just had and suddenly very sad. What would happen to her and Aaron if something happened to Charlie? Sure, she's very independent and could definitely take care of herself, but she'd be lonely. In the worst case scenarios, she'd turn out like Sayid and the best like me. Both of us were lonely and dealing with loss, but going about it in two totally different ways.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face. For the first time in a while, I woke up from a beautiful dream that I actually remembered. I was home, in Connecticut and Boone was there. We were happy, and I woke up happy.

Day eighty one ended up being a fairly decent day, until Nikki died and then we found Paulo dead in the forest. Not much of a great day when you look back on it. A few men dug their graves, placing them side by side and covered them with dirt. Someone else tied sticks together to make crosses and hammered them into the dirt. There were now two more residents in our depressing cemetery. We were up to eight by my count, not including the marshal.

Every time we held a funeral, I hoped it would be the last one. I prayed that no more of our friends would die and that when we were rescued, everyone would be there. But then, something else would happen, and someone else would die.

"Hey there Tin… Wait, what's your real name again?" I glanced up at Sawyer, shaking my head slowly back and forth.

"After nearly three months, how do you not know my name?" Laughing softly, I tossed the notebook into my tent and stood up. "It's Kalie. Kalie Walker."

"Right, Kalie. So, how are you?" My jaw dropped as I looked up at him. Of all the things to have him ask, 'how are you' was not even near the top of my list.

Putting one hand on my hip and the other up by my forehead to shield my eyes, I stared at him. "What do you want?"

"I just came by to see how you were doing. You're just a kid, and you're alone…"

"Stop right there. I'm nineteen. Just because Walt is gone and I'm the youngest, doesn't mean everyone can start treating me different. I'm fine."

"Whoa," Sawyer said, holding his hands out in front of him. "I'm sorry for calling you a kid. I just… is there anything you need? Extra blanket? Company?"

"Company? From who, you? Thanks, but I'm just fine right now." Leaving him standing behind me, I walked off towards the cemetery. It wasn't the first place I wanted to go, but it was where my feet took me.

Instead of stopping and talking to the grave, I walked around the outskirts and sat on a rock that overlooked the water. It was peaceful here, with a great view. I scanned the horizon, looking for a boat or plane, something we could signal.

The wind blew through the trees, sending a cool shiver up my spine. It wasn't a cold wind, but it certainly wasn't as warm as it had been.

I don't know how long I stayed there until I fell asleep, but I do know that when I woke up, it was bright and sunny, and the sun was shining down. Stretching my arms up, I climbed to my feet and looked out across the water. Another beautiful day on Mystery Island.

"Hey," I said, walking over to the cross nearest the rock. I knelt down, reaching a hand up to finger the charm on the necklace I now always wore. "I miss you still. But I think I'm getting better. You were in my dream the other night; we were happy.

"I still think about you every day, even though I know you're never coming back. Love you Boone." Placing a quick kiss on the wooden cross, I stood up and walked out of the cemetery. My eyes avoided the fresh graves and I left the cemetery.

When I finally made it back to our camp, the fresh smell of meat grilling hit my nose and caused my mouth to water. I looked around, confused as to where the meat came from. "What's going on?" I asked, walking up to the nearest person, who happened to be Sawyer.

"Well there Tin… Kalie," he said with a small nod of his head. "Fresh boar meat. Desmond and I caught it this morning. Enjoy darlin'." He gestured to the table that held a pile of Dharma beer before walking away.

"There you are." I turned around to find Charlie grinning at me, holding a plate pile with meat and fruit. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Hey," I said, picking up a bowl of fruit salad. "I accidentally fell asleep in the cemetery last night."

Charlie's head dropped, shaking slowly back and forth. "You can't do that. Not with those people on this island. Jack, Kate, Locke and Sayid aren't even back yet. You can't…"

"I know what I can't do Charlie. It was an accident. I don't plan on doing half the things I do." I sighed, shifting my weight from foot to foot and keeping my eyes away from his.

"I'm sorry. Come with me." He put his hand under my elbow and began leading me away from the tables piled with food.

"Can't I eat first? Or at least grab food?"

"Yeah, sure." He let go of my arm and I walked to the tables, grabbing a makeshift plate and filling it with boar and my fruit salad.

I grabbed a bottle of water off the table and let Charlie lead me over to sit with Claire. "Kalie," she said with a smile.

"Hey." I sat in the sand next to her and began picking at the food on my plate, simultaneously tickling Aaron's small toes.

We ate boar, talked and laughed. Everyone was happy; everyone felt safe. I had my friends around me and for the first time in days I managed to not worry about myself or Sayid.

The day faded slowly into night and everyone went back to their tents. The food was packed away, fires were started and the camp smelled of burning wood. It was quiet, peaceful and I lay back in the sand, looking up at the stars.

People were talking and laughing a little way down the beach from me. Others were sleeping. I sat up and looked around, happy to see everyone else smiling.I smiled at Claire and Charlie sitting under their tent. They were smiling, and happy. Could I ever have something like that? Would I ever be happy like that again?

* * *

**AN: Thanks to the_werewolf_gal for reviewing the previous chapter. Thanks to everyone for reading. Please leave a review on your way out to let me know what you thought!**


	31. Helping Friends

**Chapter 31: Helping Friends, ****Day 83-84**

I ran into Sawyer at the pantry the next morning, still surprised to hear my given name come out of his mouth. I almost began to miss hearing him call me Tinkerbelle. But then I thought about it… and changed my mind.

As much as I hated it, he was beginning to grow on me. Over the past few days, he kept most of his sarcastic comments to himself and he really tried to be a good person. It was a refreshing change. Of course, I wasn't sure how long this would last. Once Jack or Kate came back, he'd probably revert to his old self and once again I would despise him.

After grabbing a papaya from the shelf, I wandered away from the crowd. I decided to head down to the water and walk in the waves for a bit. The water was still warm, and a warm breeze blew lightly through the camp. It was definitely going to be a beautiful day.

"Hey Charlie," I said, walking up the sand and sitting next to him. "Where's Claire?"

"Sleeping. She said she wasn't feeling well. I told her I'd take care of him while she rested."

"Do you want me to hold him? Your arm must be getting tired."

Charlie nodded, "that would be great. Little turnip head gets heavy."

"He has a name, for over a month now," I said with a grin, reaching over to take Aaron in my arms. His eyes fluttered and he giggled as he looked up at me. I tickled his stomach and he reached out to take my finger, pulling it towards his mouth.

"I know. Turnip head is just my nickname for him. Will you be okay with him for a minute? I need to use the loo." Charlie stood up, stretching his arms over his head.

Rolling my eyes, I nodded. "Sure. We'll be fine here." I smiled down at the baby, ticking his stomach and listening to him laugh. "You're such a cute baby, you know? And you have a mommy that loves you and a Charlie that loves you."

I quietly entertained the baby until Charlie returned. "What's wrong with Claire?" I asked when Charlie had taken Aaron back.

"She just said she wasn't feeling right. She should be fine if she gets a bit more sleep." Charlie spoke so nonchalantly, I almost believed he was apathetic about the entire matter. But the look on his face told me different, he was worried.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'm sure she'll be fine. Come on; let's get you something for breakfast."

Charlie and I made our way up the beach to the pantry. I held Aaron while he picked out things to eat. "Don't you look cute with the munchkin," Sawyer said, pouring cereal into a bowl.

I rolled my eyes and shot him a look, handing Aaron back to Charlie.

"Hey, does anyone know where there's some aspirin?" I turned around to find Claire behind me. Her hair was knotted and frizzy and she was squinting, just like I did if I had a bad headache.

"Claire, you don't look so good," Desmond said, stating the obvious.

"You shouldn't be up; you should still be in bed."

She nodded, bringing a hand up to her head. "Yeah, no, I know. My head is just pounding…"

"Two aspirin, coming up," Sawyer said, taking a spoonful of cereal. He walked off and I took a step closer to Claire.

"Let's get you to bed. We'll get Sawyer to bring the aspirin over to you." I smiled reassuringly at Charlie and began slowly leading Claire away and back towards her tent.

"Thanks. I don't know what it is, I just feel awful."

"You've probably just caught a cold. Sleep and fluids will fix you right up." She sat on the bed and I covered her up with a blanket. "Just lie here and we'll get you the aspirin and some juice."

"Thanks Kalie." She closed her eyes and I walked off, glancing back at her every few steps. She was worrying me. We had no doctor, not with Jack still gone. What would we do if she was really sick?

"Jack! It's Jack!" I heard Sun call. I turned forward and sure enough, Jack came walking around the sand dunes. Wish for him hard enough and apparently he shows him were Kate, and then finally Sayid.

"Sayid!" I called, running down the beach. When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. The first thing I noticed when pulling away, was a fresh wound in his shoulder. It was wrapped in a bandage, but bleeding through. "What happened?" I asked, running my fingers up his arm.

"A story for another time," he said quietly, pulling away from me.

I dropped my arms to my sides, feeling suddenly very awkward. Saving myself from too much embarrassment, I went over to hug Jack and Kate, welcoming them back.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Sawyer said, pulling away from Kate. I turned to look down where he was looking. Standing several feet away was a blonde woman who looked so familiar, but I couldn't place face was filthy and she was wearing drab brown clothes, similar to the Others I had seen walking through the woods.

"Sawyer…" Jack said with a warning tone.

I went back to stand by Sayid, sliding my hand into his. I knew this woman; how did I know her? Why did I know her?

"Let's go talk," Jack said, gesturing up the beach to our kitchen. He went to talk to the woman while the rest of us went up to the kitchen to wait.

"Will you at least let me change the bandage? You're bleeding through." Sayid and I walked together, and I was silently thankful that he was back. Even if he wasn't the same person he was when we crashed, he still was my brother. Weren't you supposed to love your family, no matter what they do?

"Kalie, I am fine. Now sit down and do not worry about me."

When Jack came back, he dropped his pack and looked over at me then Hurley. "Kalie, Hurley? Would you go sit with her?"

I glanced from Jack to Sayid and back again. "Sure." Dropping my brother's hand, I followed Hurley away from the kitchen.

"Hey," I said, sitting down in the sand near her.

"You're one of them, huh?" Hurley asked bluntly. I rolled my eyes and smiled, but waited for her answer.

"I'm Juliet."

"I don't remember you from the dock, where you put bags over our heads after you shocked us." I looked over at Hurley, not having heard that part of the story.

"It was my day off."

Suddenly, it clicked. "You were the woman in the jungle," I said loudly. I turned to face her, noticing the look of shock that crossed her face. "You brought me food when I was locked in that bloody room!"

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Hurley tried to interrupt, but now that I had it figured out, I wanted to know.

"Why was I brought there? Why did that man, Richard**,** let me go?"

"I… I don't know. They didn't tell me." She shrugged her shoulders and offered a small smile, but I wasn't buying it.

"They sent you over here to keep an eye on me, didn't they?" I nodded, as did Hurley."Okay," she said softly, turning back towards the water.

She ignored me and nodded to Hurley. "Kalie? Would you come up here please?"

Thankfully, I jumped up and left the two sitting in the sand. "Yes?"

"I heard you say that was one of the people who took you**.** So that's the woman huh?" Charlie looked down at me with pity.

"Yeah. Did anyone else hear?" I asked, ignoring Charlie's look.

"No, I just happened to be walking down to get you two. Jack's going to meet with everyone tonight to discuss her."

"That sounds good. I'm going to take a walk. I'll see you later."

***~*~***

"You want us to trust her? She's one of them." Sun said, echoing my thoughts. I had plenty to say on that subject, but no one but Charlie knew. I didn't want to face the looks of pity and questions.

"Not any more. They left her behind."

"Oh yeah? Where'd they go?" Charlie asked, leaning against one of the trees supporting the tent.

Jack shrugged, looking over his shoulder at Charlie. "I told you, I don't know."

Wrapping my arms around myself, I pulled the blanket tight around me. I wasn't comfortable having her here… with us.

"I think we better ask her."

"She doesn't know either."

"Here's a wacky idea," Sawyer said, his arms crossed across his chest. "Let's sick our resident Iraqi on her. Let him do what he does and then see what she says."

I inhaled sharply, suddenly not liking Sawyer as much as I had. "No, I don't do that anymore," Sayid replied, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Well ain't that convenient."

Biting my lip, I leaned against my brother. If this conversation didn't move on, I would end up saying something I would regret. "I don't trust her Jack," Sayid said. "If she's so innocent, why won't she answer my question?"

Claire appeared, rubbing her head and brushing her hair out of her face. Even though she napped for most of the day, she still looked crossed across the circle and wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean against him. "Just give her some time," Jack insisted.

"How much time?"

"The fact that I trust her should be enough."

"It's not," Sayid said, and I agreed with him.

I don't care how much Jack trusts her, she is one of them. They've kidnapped us, tried to kill us and succeeded in killing us. "Where did Locke go?" Desmond asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"He went with them. Right after he destroyed the sub. The sub that was going to take me off this island."

What? Jack was going to leave? Go off the island and leave us here? That was a low move. I tuned out their argument, Sawyer and Jack going back and forth. My thoughts going back and forth.

"Jack!" Charlie's yell pulled me out of my thoughts. "Something's wrong with Claire!"

"Oh God," I whispered. She had a nosebleed, blood pouring out over Charlie's hand.

Jack rushed over, helping Charlie pick her up and carry her over to her bed. I clasped my hands together, walking slowly behind the crowd. Jack was here now, he would save Claire. _He tried to save Boone, and he couldn't. What makes you think he can save her?_ I shook my head, biting my lip and trying to rid my mind of the negative thoughts.

"Please, Lord, please help Jack save her," I prayed softly. Mum would be so proud of me, so thankful that I was praying. "Excuse me," I said to Sayid, pulling away from him and walking down the beach.

"Hey, do you need anything?" I asked Charlie when I walked up to him. "Can I get you water? Something?"

He shook his head, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. "If you want anything, let me know." I stood around, waiting for a few more minutes before leaving Charlie alone. If I were in his position, I'd want to be alone with her.

"Come Kalie," Sayid appeared next to me, turning my shoulders and gently pushing me forward. "Let's get you to bed."

"Yes mum," I whispered with half a smile as we walked across the sand to my tent. Before crawling inside, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He hesitated, but soon his arms were around me as well. "I'm glad you're back safely."

"Me too," he said, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "Now sleep Kalila."

I crawled into the tent, pulling the blanket over top of me. Before falling asleep, I worried about Claire. What was happening? Would she be okay? Could Jack fix her?

Somehow, my mind slowed enough for sleep to take over, and when I woke up, the sun was shining brightly. Tossing the blanket off my legs, I changed my shirt and crawled out. Raising a hand to my eyes, I caught sight of Charlie walking across the beach. "Charlie!" I called out, running up the beach to him. "How's Claire?"

"Jack's with her now, him and that woman, Juliet. Apparently she knows what's going on with Claire and can help."

"Should we trust her?"

Charlie shrugged. "Jack does. I trust Jack, even if I don't trust her."

"All right," I said with a small smile. "I'll hold judgment on her until after Claire is better."

"Charlie," Jack said, crossing the sand towards us with Juliet. "She should be all right in a few hours. Let us know when she wakes up."

"I can go sit with her?"

"Yes, keep an eye on her."

Charlie nodded with a smile, "Thanks Jack."

I stood off to the side, staring at her. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her blue eyes were dull. I wanted to hate her. She helped them keep me locked up, helped them keep Jack, Kate and Sawyer locked up, so why didn't Jack hate her?

A few hours later when the sun was high in the sky, Claire emerged from her tent, looking much better than she had only hours before. She was smiling, carrying Aaron and holding hands with Charlie.

I looked around our camp. Jack had given Juliet supplies out of our community stash and she was now setting up camp in one of our shade areas. She had saved Claire's life and it looked like she was one of us, for now. I still didn't trust her, still didn't know if I wanted her around. But she had won Jack, Charlie and Claire's trust and they carried a lot of weight.

It would take a lot more than that to get her in my good graces. Saving Claire's life knocked her up a few spots on my list, but I couldn't completely accept her into our group. I couldn't just forget everything her and her people did to us, to me.

* * *

**AN: I have no comments. Thanks for reading and please leave a review on your way out.**


	32. Running Away Again

**Chapter 32: Running Away Again, Day 89-90**

The blank pages of my journal were staring up at me, intimidating me. I always had something to write about, except today. Nothing exciting had happened to me lately and I didn't want to babble about the randomness I usually wrote about. It was rather boring to write, and I was sure it would be even more boring to read.

I had thought that if we got rescued (wasn't it awful I now thought in 'if' rather than 'when?'), I could publish the journal. I'd be able to tell everyone what happened to us on the island, how we forged friendships, relationships and how we all survived. Someone might want to read it; it might be interesting after editing.

After staring at the page for another few minutes, I tried to figure out what I should do. Nothing needed to be done in the kitchen, Claire was fine with Aaron and everyone else was going about their business. I didn't want to wander around too much on my own. I was still terrified that I would be captured again by the Others.

Rather than hang around my tent all day like I had been doing since yesterday, I tossed my journal and water bottle through the hole and stood up. After brushing the sand from the back of my pants, I took off down the beach. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my denim capris and trudged through the sand.

I waved at Jack and Juliet who were sitting down by the water. Jack waved back, but Juliet merely smiled. I didn't want to be friendly with her, but Jack wanted us to like her. She still angered me, and I was terrified of her.

'Hey Charlie,' I called, waving as I walked up to where he was standing.

'Hey,' he said with a smile. He was sitting outside Hurley's tent, his arms crossed and his back leaning against one of the bamboo poles. 'What are you up to today?'

'I'm not sure, wandering at the moment. I think I've run out of things to do.' I knelt next to him in the sand and sighed, my gaze moving out towards the water. 'What are you doing?'

He glanced around nervously, as if checking to see who was around. 'Not much right now.'

I raised an eyebrow and looked over at him. 'Sure,' I said softly. As I opened my mouth to speak, a low moan sounded from inside the tent. 'What was that?' I asked, looking from Charlie to the tent and back again. 'Who's in there?'

'Uh, Hurley,' he said with a complete lack of believability.

'Sure. If you can't say, just tell me that, I'll understand.'

He nodded. 'Can you keep a secret?'

'Sure,' I said, completely confused. Charlie stood up and took my hand, leading me across the sand towards a group of logs by the forest edge. 'There's a woman in there,' he said once I had sat down.

I turned to him, my mind searching who could be in the tent. 'A woman? Who?'

'Jin, Hurley, Desmond and I went camping last night and a helicopter crashed into the ocean. This woman parachuted out and we found her in the jungle. She said she was on a rescue mission.'

'Was she looking for us?' I couldn't help but ask. The thought of rescue, though very small, jumped to the forefront of my consciousness. To be rescued would be amazing, marvelous, fantastic even.

Charlie's head shook back and forth slowly. 'No, she was looking for Desmond. She had his picture and everything. She's injured at the moment, but we don't want to tell Jack. He's not the same…' he trailed off and I understood completely. Ever since he had gotten back from his stay over in Otherville, he wasn't the same.

'So, how is she going to get back? How is she going to rescue Desmond?'

'Apparently there's a freighter about 80 miles off shore. She had a satellite phone that Sayid's trying to fix, but Rousseau's signal is still interfering. And Kalie, she said they found our plane.'

'What?'

Charlie shrugged. 'The plane, she said it was found, intact, on the bottom of the ocean. All the bodies were inside.'

I bit my lip and took a deep breath. "What do you mean? They found our plane? How is that possible? It's there," I pointed to the charred remains of the fuselage. "And there and on the other side of the island."

'I know,' he said softly. 'Something's going on and it doesn't make sense. But until we're back home, I guess we won't know.' He shrugged again and I had nothing else to add. 'Come on. I'm supposed to be on watch duty.'

He stood up and I followed him, walking down the beach back to the tent. 'I'll see you later. I'm going to continue on my walk.'

'All right,' he said with a nod. 'Are you okay?'

'Sure,' I said with a forced smile. 'I'll see you later.'

I waved back at him and slowly walked away down the beach. When I couldn't see him any longer, I stopped and sat in the sand. They found our plane. How was that possible? Our plane was right there! I could still see some of the wreckage from here. We weren't dead, not all of us at least.

I'm not sure how long I stayed sitting in the sand, but the sun was fading into the ocean by the time I got up and wandered back to my tent. A group of people were gathered up by the pantry, and I saw them all talking. I didn't want to intrude, I wasn't invited to the little pow-wow.

When I got back to the tent, I crawled inside and lie back in the darkness. What was my dad doing now? It was almost Christmas if I had kept count correctly, six more days. Were they getting ready for Christmas dinner? Or maybe they were forgetting the holiday all together after James' death and then mine.

If our plane had been found, even if it wasn't the correct one, Daddy thought I was dead. Maybe it wasn't worth being rescued, not if our lives were completely changed. Not if our families and friends thought we were dead.

I drifted off to sleep sometime after, my thoughts jumbled into clusters that made their way into my dreams. I slept fitfully, tossing and turning, getting caught up in my blankets. When I finally woke up, the sun was just coming up over the ocean.

Stretching my arms and legs, I crawled out of the tent, squinting at the bright sun. I changed shirts and walked up the beach towards the pantry to get breakfast. 'Good morning, Bernard,' I said with a smile. I pulled the box of Dharma Cheerios off the shelf and poured some into a small bowl.

'Morning, Kalie.' Rose came up and squeezed my arm before leading Bernard away.

'Hey Kalie,' Claire called, walking up to me with Aaron in her arms. 'Would you mind watching Aaron? We're going on a quick hike with Jack and I don't want to bring him.'

'Sure,' I said, placing my bowl of cereal down and holding out my arms to take the baby. 'I'd love to watch him. I'll stay around here.'

'Thanks.' Claire placed a soft kiss on Aaron's forehead before taking off with Charlie, who waved from his spot up the beach.

I sat in the sand with Aaron nestled in my arm and ate my cereal. He giggled and reached out for my face as I rocked him back and forth. 'You are such a cute kid.' I smiled down at him and he grabbed my finger, holding it tightly in his small fist.

Carefully, I stood up and made my way back over to the pantry. I put my bowl into the makeshift sink and carried Aaron back across the beach. We walked up and down the sand, and I hummed random songs to him.

When I got back to the kitchen, Jack's hiking group had returned. I handed Aaron off to Claire, avoided Jack and Juliet, and tried to talk to Sayid. 'What are you doing?' I asked when I walked up to him.

'I am attempting to fix Naomi's satellite phone. I need to eliminate Rousseau's signal in order to get hers to broadcast. I need to talk to Jack. I will see you later?' I pulled my lips tight and nodded. Sayid patted my shoulder and walked off, leaving me along in the sand.

I turned on my spot, unsure which way to go. Up the beach, Charlie was sitting with Desmond, Claire was with Aaron, Sayid was talking to Jack and Juliet. Somewhere behind me, Rose and Bernard were talking to Steve and Tracy. Everyone had someone to talk to, to be with, except me. You'd think that after so many months of behind here alone, I'd be over it. Apparently not.

My eye caught sight of a boat coming to shore. I ran with everyone else towards the shoreline. Sayid knocked him down and Sawyer picked him back up. By the time I got there, they were all talking.

'They're coming… my people,' he said breathlessly. I looked up in shock, glancing around at everyone near me. No one but me looked surprised by this information.

'Sorry you made the trip all the way over here, but we know that already.'

'Then why are you still here?' The kid practically screamed.

Sawyer sighed. 'Because when your people show up here tomorrow night we're going to be ready for them.' What on Earth did they have planned now? And why didn't they consult the entire camp, not just the A team?

'Tomorrow? No! They're coming tonight! They're coming now!' I gasped as did several people around me.

'Come on, let's go talk to Jack.' James took the boy's arm and we all walked up the sand to where Jack and Juliet were standing.

The entire camp gathered and I stood next to Sayid, sitting on an old crate. The boy, Karl, told us how Ben had changed this plan at the last minute, opting to attack tonight rather than wait to tomorrow. My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn't remember if I had been this scared the last time they attacked.

'So is that everything?' Jack asked and Karl nodded. 'Do you trust him?' He turned to Kate, who merely shrugged her shoulders.

'If you don't trust me, what about her? She's a spy! She's supposed to make the tents of the pregnant woman with white rocks so they can take them.'

Juliet shrugged, 'they know, Karl. But thanks.'

I looked back and forth from Juliet to Karl, then over to Sawyer. Was I the only person who didn't know about this? No one else appeared shocked and I wish I could have been surprised by this, but I was used to being left out.

The group organized their plans, shooting piles of dynamite from a tree line while everyone else goes up to the radio tower. Jack asked Charlie something about going for a swim and I looked over at him, confused. I'd ask him later, once everything quieted down.

While the group wandered about, checking dynamite and arranging guns, I left. I took off my shoes and let my toes sink in the sand. It was hot beneath my feet and I hopped a little before walking down to the waterline. The sand was cooler there and it slipped between my toes. I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath of cool, salty air. Something was weird, different. Something was going to happen, I could feel it, I just didn't know what.

"Kalie?" I looked up and grinned as Charlie walked up to me. "Are you busy?"

Shaking my head I motioned for him to sit down. I walked up the sand a short way, sitting in the dry sand next to Charlie. "What's wrong? You don't look right."

"I'm fine," he said with a smile. "Look I'm taking off, going for a swim down to some station underwater."

My jaw dropped and I started to protest. "No, don't Charlie…" My heart jumped in my chest and I was suddenly terrified.

"It'll be fine. I just need to flip some switch and then we can be rescued." He stood up and held out his hand for me.

Taking it, I stood next to him. "Take care," he said softly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "No, you take care. Make sure you come back, all right? Claire needs someone to help her with Aaron."

"You're a good friend Kalie," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead. "You've kicked me when I've needed it and picked me up when I'm down. I don't know what I would have done without you. I'll see ya." He squeezed my hand lightly and walked off, down to the water where Desmond was setting up a raft.

I watched him walk away, a strange feeling in my heart. Why would he tell me those things? Maybe he's just being nostalgic now that we're going to be rescued. Sure, that's it.

'Kalie!' I turned towards the sound of my name, smiling as Claire waved at me. 'Come on! We're going to the radio tower,' she called. 'Go gather your stuff!'

I waved back and walked quickly up to my tent. After unburying my backpack from the back of the tent, I quickly stuffed some clothes, my journal, a few pieces of fruit and my water bottle into the pack and zipped it up. I glanced one last time back at my tent before turning and followed Claire and Hurley up towards the meeting place.

We were going to be rescued. We were going to get off this bloody island once and for all. Charlie would flip the switch, Sayid would get the satellite phone to work and we would be rescued.

'Here we go again,' I heard Jack say to Kate.

Yeah, here we go again. Hiding from the Others, running away. It seemed like all we ever did was run away.

* * *

**AN: Yikes! Far too long between updates, I'm so sorry! I know that no one is reading this anymore, but I want to finish it. There are about 4 more chapters left, and hopefully I'll be able to get this finished before the end of 2010. I've already got the second part mostly written and ready to be posted. If you're still reading, please leave a review to let me know! Thanks!**


	33. Hope of Rescue

**Chapter 33: Hope of Rescue, Day 90-91**

As we stood there, waiting for Jack to lead us off, I looked around our group. Sun and Jin were hugging goodbye, Hurley and Claire were standing next to each other and everyone else was chatting nervously amongst themselves. I forced a smile at Sun when she walked up next to me. Jin had gone to stand next to Bernard and Sayid. It figures that Sayid would be staying. Dropping my pack to the ground, I walked over to where he was standing.

"So you're staying?" I asked rhetorically, walking up to Sayid. I had already assumed he would, having been in the Iraqi army, but I wanted to make sure.

He stood in front of me, the rifle clutched in his hand. I wanted to hug him, to tell him I loved him, but I couldn't make the words come out. We had been strangers for so long now; I couldn't bring myself to say what I needed to say. "Yes, I will be staying behind. Go on, Kalila. Jack is calling for everyone." Sayid turned away from me and I took it as a request to leave.

I stepped a few steps away from him before turning back. "Take care please," I said softly, tears filling my eyes. "Please stay safe."

Sayid's shoulders slumped and he faced me. "Go on with Jack. I will be fine."

Closing the gap between us, I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his shoulder. "I love you," I said softly. "We haven't had the greatest relationship lately, but I still love you. You're my brother, no matter what happened before."

I heard him sigh and felt his exhale of breath on the top of my head. "I love you too, Kalie, but you need not worry. Everything is going to be fine. Now you need to go. We will meet up with you later."

"Okay," I said quietly, pulling back and wiping my eyes with my fingers. Stepping back, I looked up into his dark brown eyes that were so much like my own. "I'm sorry for anything I have done to upset you and I hope that if or when we're rescued, you can forgive me. Be safe," I added quietly before turning and walking away. This time, I didn't stop and I listen for him to call out to me.

Quietly, I walked down the sand to where the group had gathered. I stood next to Julie and Adam, crossing my arms across my chest. The rumbling of everyone's voices kept me distracted. I needed to not look back at Sayid.

"All right," Jack said, walking up to our group. "Let's do this."

I shifted my pack on my shoulders and followed the group. After one quick glance back at the camp, I took a deep breath and marched ahead. If this worked, we would be rescued. We'd be off this bloody island for good. I could sleep in my real bed, eat real food, see my family and friends.

We marched along the shoreline and through the trees. I tripped over rocks and raised roots, scraping my hands and knees on the ground. Adam helped pull me up a few times, smiling shyly as he shook his head.

"You should be more careful."

"If I could keep an eye on my feet and look forward at the same time, I would be." I wasn't in the mood to flirt with him, even if he was cute. Claire and I had commented on him a few times during our girl-chat conversations. He was more muscular than Boone, with blonde hair and green eyes.

I rolled my eyes and trudged forward, suddenly aware of the ever growing darkness in the forest. "We'll stop here," I heard Jack say a few minutes later. We all took positions on the outskirts of the trees, looking out towards the ocean. If all went well, we should be able to see the explosions.

We stood anxiously. My heart was pounding in my chest and I reached up, fingering the charm on Boone's necklace. Claire stood next to me, rocking Aaron quietly back and forth. I glanced over to find his eyes closed. "At least he gets to sleep through this," I said softly with a smile.

"Must be nice," she agreed softly.

An explosion from the beach pulled me away from our short-lived conversation. A second one caused me to gasp and I waited with baited breath for the third. When it didn't happen, I looked around the group with everyone else.

"There were supposed to be three explosions!" Rose exclaimed and I looked at her, my eyes wide with fear.

"It didn't work," Kate said to Jack.

I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath. "Why were there only two explosions?" Sun asked, her voice shaking.

"Maybe they didn't have to blow the third." Jack was trying to be positive, to not worry the group. I had to at least give him that, he was good at keeping people calm.

Rose shook her head. "But those gunshots, what was that…?"

"It's okay, Rose."

"Do you really believe that?" Sun asked from behind me.

Were they okay? Did something happen to them and it didn't work? Was Sayid okay? Jin? Bernard?

"Listen," Jack said, taking charge again. "They had no idea we were waiting for them. Sayid's with your husbands, they're fine. They'll be behind us in a couple of hours." He met my eyes and nodded. All I wanted was to believe him, but after our previous track record with the Others, I wasn't sure.

"Then we should wait for them here. If you go on…" Sun trailed off, seeing Jack's head shake back and forth.

"No, no one gets left behind."

"If you say "Life together, die alone to me Jack, I'm going to punch you in the face," Rose said warningly. I had to admire her spunk, and a small smile crossed my lips, as did Jack's.

"Fair enough. But we have a plan and for all we know it worked. We have to keep going. Everything's fine and it's going to be all right. Let's just keep moving, okay?"

I glanced over at Rose, tears filling her eyes. Reaching out, I took her hand and together we followed the group, trudging through the darkness and trees once again. Adam took my free hand, and Sun took Rose's and together, we walking in a near straight line over rocks and roots.

"I'm sure Sayid is fine," Adam said softly. "I just don't picture him being attacked and taken prisoner."

Looking down at my feet, I nodded. "Me either."

When daylight dawned, we stopped at a stream to fill up our bottles. "Take a five minute break, and then we'll keep moving," Jack said, pulling his bottle out of his pack.

I did the same and knelt by the water, unscrewing the cap and dipping it into the cold stream. Claire sat next to me, tightening Aaron in his carrier. "Charlie's fine," I said softly.

"I know," she replied. "He has to be."

That was the extent of our conversation. I wanted to say more, but I wasn't sure what to say. My prayers were going in two different directions and I wasn't sure who I was more worried about, Sayid or Charlie.

When our five minute rest period was over, we all rose and followed Jack through the trees again. It was nearly silent; the only sounds were our feet crunching leaves and sticks. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering, worrying about the four men who were supposed to be trying to save our lives.

"I'm going back," Sawyer said a few minutes after we started. I turned quickly and looked back at him, shocked and stunned. Of all the people to volunteer to go back and check on Sayid, Bernard and Jin, he was not the first I thought of.

"What? No."

"I'm going back to the beach."

"No way," Jack said, his head shaking back and forth. "We keep moving."

I watched Sawyer and Jack walk up to each other, but didn't stay to find out what happened. I wanted to go too; I needed to see if Sayid was all right, but it was stupid. We had no guns, no way of protecting ourselves.

"Sawyer's an idiot. Why would he want to go back there? It's not like he can do anything." Julie asked our small group. I shot her a glare but kept walking.

"He just wants to make sure they're fine. They should have caught up with us by now." Adam met my eyes and smiled, walking quicker so that he was in time with me. I fell silent and continued walking, taking care not to trip over the rocks.

The group stopped and I looked up to see what was happening. We couldn't be there yet, could we? Two people were standing in the pathway. "Hello, Jack," the man said. "We need to talk."

Jack walked over and Kate followed, circling around behind him. "Hi, I'm Benjamin. I don't believe we've had the pleasure," the man said to the group. I looked around; no one else seemed to know what was going on.

"Don't talk to him," Jack warned. He walked up close to the man, Benjamin and they started talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, so I quietly moved up to the front of the group, standing next to Claire instead of Adam.

They stood there, talking for what felt like a long time. Finally, Jack and Benjamin went off into a section of trees, and Kate walked back to us.

"What's going on?" I asked Kate, but was promptly ignored. It figures, I'm not one of the in crowd.

"Would you like to hold Aaron?" Claire asked, turning towards me. "He's getting heavy."

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "I'd love to."

She took him out of the carrier and handed him over. Cradling him in my arms, I smiled down at the baby and tickled his stomach.

"Oh my," I heard someone gasp from near me. When I looked up, I saw Jack push Benjamin to the ground. "Tie him up, he's coming with us."

Jack walked away, leaving the rest of us to stare after him. The young girl who had walked up with Benjamin walked over to his side and knelt down. Rousseau followed and I glanced at Claire completely confused.

We were walking again and then we weren't. Hurley's voice came over the walkie-talkie and said everyone was fine. Hurley saved them. Everyone cheered and I shut my eyes, thanking God for keeping them all safe. Now, if only Charlie was fine…

Jack and Rousseau led us onward. They figured we had maybe a half hour walk left, which was good, because my feet were tired of walking.

"Jack! Your friend did it! He bloody did it! The light, it's green." Naomi walked quickly passed us and up to the front of the group.

"Well use it then," Jack said, a grin spreading across his face.

I glanced back at Adam, unable to hide the smile that was spreading across my face. She turned on the phone and we heard a woman's voice come across the phone. "What's this?" Naomi asked, looking up at Jack.

"Rousseau's signal, it's still blocking the transmission."

I looked up at the French woman. "It does not matter; we're here."

Jack took off almost in jog, walking quickly over the hill. Sure enough, when we hit the top of the hill, a large radio tower stood in front of us. "Can you believe it?" I asked excitedly, turning towards Claire. "We're finally here!"

"I know," she said softly, a sad smile on her lips.

"I'm sure Charlie's fine." I said dutifully, reaching over to tickle Aaron. He smiled up at me, waving his chubby fingers back and forth.

Sitting down on a nearby fallen log, I sighed, wrapping my arms around my knees. I rested my chin against my knee and watched the people mill around. Some day in the grass, others walked back and forth, talking. Claire jiggled Aaron and paced back and forth obviously worried about Charlie. I wanted to say something to her, but I didn't know what.

Naomi emerged from radio tower, the satellite phone clutched in her hand. She punched in a few numbers and Benjamin yelled from his placed tied to the tree. "Don't do this, Jack! I know you're trying to save your people, but it's a mistake. You're making a mistake, Jack."

"I've got a signal," she exclaimed, her eyes wide as she looked at the phone.

I watched her hit the buttons on the phone, my hands clenched together tightly. This was it. We were going to be rescued!

Everyone was smiling, grinning, laughing and joking. And then, everything changed. A knife flew through the air and hit Naomi in the back. The phone dropped to the ground and blood sputtered out of her mouth. People gasped and she collapsed. I quickly scanned the area, finding Locke standing just a slight ways away. For some odd reason, I wasn't the least bit surprised.

"John!" Jack yelled, quickly crossing the distance between him and Naomi.

"Stand back, Jack," Locke said, pulling a gun out from his pants.

"What did you do?" Jack asked, breathlessly.

"What I had to."

I looked back and forth, still shocked at what just happened. "Stay away from the phone."

Rather than listen, Jack moved towards it, hidden in the grass. The gunshot rang out and I shut my eyes, ducking my head into my lap. "I don't want to shoot you, Jack."

"Do it! Shoot him. Ow!" Benjamin yelled and my eyes just caught Rousseau hitting him with her elbow. Any other time I would have laughed, but now I was just too scared.

"Please, put the phone down. I will kill you if I have to."

"Oh God," I whispered, shutting my eyes.

Jack took a step forward, "then do it."

Everyone held their breath as Locke held the gun up to Jack. He paused for a moment before sighing and lowering the weapon. "You're not supposed to do this," Locke said softly.

I stared, my heart slowly beginning to slow. _"Hello?"_ My jaw dropped as everyone's eyes flicked down to the phone in Jack's hand. Someone answered.

"Who is this?" Jack asked, holding the phone up to his face.

"_Who is this?"_

"My name is Jack Shepherd. Are you on the boat, the freighter?" I watched a smile break out across Kate's face. Adam walked up to me and slipped his hand into mine.

"_How did you get this channel?" _

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Locke limp away from our camp. "Naomi told us about your boat, about the search team."

"_Naomi? Where is she? Who are you?"_

Jack looked down at Naomi's body lying in the dirt. "I'm one of the survivors of Oceanic flight 815. Can you get a fix on our location?"

I bit my lip and held my breath, tightening my hold on Adam's hand. Could they find us? Would we be able to go home? _"Hell yeah I can. Sit tight, we'll be right there." _

The group erupted in cheers. I grinned and felt Adam pull me tight, hugging my shoulders. Everyone was hugging, cheering, and laughing. They were going to come for us and we were going to go home!

* * *

**AN: Thank you to the three people who reviewed: JacDanvers, the_werewolf_gal, and CaptJessicaSparrow. I'm glad there are still a few people reading. ****And, the first person to review (it will make review #100) will get a character named after them in the continuation with Seasons 5 & 6. **

**The new character, Adam, has been mentioned before and I gave him a few lines here. Maybe there will be more of him? We shall wait and see!**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You've been amazing!**


	34. On to the Barracks

**Chapter 34: On to the Barracks, Day 91-92**

We were going to be rescued. They were coming. Rather, someone was coming. Locke said they weren't coming for us, but Jack did. I wasn't sure who I believed; all I knew was that I wanted to be rescued. I wanted to go home and leave this bloody island forever.

I heard the phone beep and watched Jack answer, his face going from happy to worried in the span of thirty seconds. 'All right,' he called and everyone gathered around him. 'I want you all to head back down towards the beach. We want to make it real easy for them to find us.'

We walked back through the trees, down to the beach. I followed quietly behind Claire, Sun and Rose, wishing Boone and Shannon were here. I almost stopped in the middle of the path. It had been days if not weeks since I consciously wished for Boone to be here, why now? Was it because we were about to be rescued?

'Are you okay?' Adam's voice from behind me shook me from my thoughts.

Forcing a smile, I looked up at him. 'Yes, I'm fine. We better get moving and catch up.'

'As long as you're sure,' he said softly, still looking down at me with a worried look. His hand reached out and took mine, and surprisingly I didn't pull back. It was nice to have someone with me. I'd gotten so used to being alone; I'd forgotten how nice it was tohave company.

I listened to the conversations around us, smiling at everyone's happy thoughts about being rescued. Tracy was babbling on about her children and Steve was talking about how he'd tell Scott's fiancée about his death. 'What is the first thing you're going to do when you get home?' Adam asked as we walked.

Thinking for a moment, I smiled. 'Take a long, hot shower.'

'Okay, after the shower. I think that's top on everyone's list.'

'Well then, I think I'd like to eat my favorite breakfast and sleep in my own bed. What's the first thing you'd like to do?' I found myself smiling, happy thoughts taking over my mind.

'Call my mother and let her know I'm alive, shower, sleep in my own bed.' He smiled, 'probably the same things everyone wants to do. Why were you flying into LA? Don't you live in Connecticut?'

Nodding, I looked around at the trees and leaves blowing in the breeze. 'I was visiting a friend who moved out to LA. We were going to visit and I was planning on flying out two days later.'

'That sounds like it might have been fun,' Adam said with a smile. 'Too bad it didn't work out like that.'

'Yeah, too bad.' I trailed off and fell into silence.

The sun began to set and Adam, Steve and a few others went around lighting torches to help us see. We kept walking, not stopping for rest or anything else. The faster we got to the beach, the faster we could be rescued.

After turning a corner on the path, I heard Sun call out. Walking faster, I looked up. 'Sayid,' I said softly, practically running up to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. 'I was so worried.'

'I told you not to worry,' he said into my hair, hugging me tightly.

Pulling back, I looked around. Desmond was standing to the side and I scanned the crowd for Charlie. 'Where's Charlie?' I asked, looking up into my brother's face.

He tried to pull me close once again, but I wouldn't let him. I looked back at Claire and saw both her and Hurley crying. 'I am so sorry, Kalie,' Sayid whispered, hugging me tightly. 'Charlie didn't make it.'

I let him hold me, shocked by the news. 'Charlie's… dead?' I whispered, biting my lip. Tears filled my eyes and I shut them, letting the salt water run down my cheeks. He was gone. Charlie was gone.

The sound of a punch jerked me from my sobbing. When I pulled back, there was a large wet spot on Sayid's shirt from my tears. Locke was on the ground and Jack was standing over him, a gun pointed at Locke's head. 'Jack,' Juliet said, her voice holding a warning tone.

'You're not gonna shoot me, Jack,' Locke said shaking his head. 'Any more than I was gonna…'

I gasped as Jack pulled the trigger and the gun clicked. 'It's not loaded,' Locke said.

Exhaling slowly, I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Sayid pulled away from me, rushing forward. Jack was punching Locke, getting in as many hits as he could before Sawyer and Sayid pulled him off. 'Do you know what he did?'

'Yes, I know what he did,' Sayid yelled back.

'All I did… all I have ever done has been in the best interest of all of us.' Locke struggled to his feet.

'Are you insane?' Jack asked, and at the moment I had to agree with him.

'I know, I have a lot of explaining to do. But I have never done anything to hurt any of you. I have even risked my life to tell you there was a traitor in your midst.' He pointed to Juliet.

'She helped us, John. All you've ever done is blow up any chance we had to get off this island. You killed Naomi.'

'Well, technically, he didn't kill Naomi,' Benjamin interrupted and I waited for Rousseau to hit him again.

'Yes, he did,' Kate said, emerging from the trees. I hadn't even realized she had left our group, shows how much I was paying attention. 'She just died. She covered for us and she fixed this.' Kate walked forward and handed the satellite phone to Jack.

I crossed my arms over my chest and shut my eyes for a few seconds."She wants her people to come here! I'm going to the Barracks. Anyone that wants to join me is more than welcome. If you want to live, come with me," Locke said, looking out across the mass of people.

"No one's going anywhere with you John. They're not crazy."

Hurley stepped forward, still visibly distraught over Charlie's death. "He's not crazy. What about Charlie? He must have heard something before he… I don't know why, but he changed his mind." There was a long pause and I thought for a moment that Hurley might break down crying. His eyes were filled with tears and he struggled to continue speaking."Because the last thing he did was warn us that the people on the boat weren't who they said they were. So I'm not listening to you; I'm listening to my friend. I'm listening to Charlie." Hurley moved to stand next to Locke.

I wanted to be rescued, that was certain. But Hurley had a point; Charlie did say these people weren't who we thought they were. I needed to trust Charlie.

Without another thought, I walked to stand next to Locke and Hurley. "Anyone else? There isn't much time." Locke caught my eye and nodded, apparently happy with my choice. Claire joined us with Aaron, as did Jerome and a few other people.

"Kalie! What are you doing?" Sayid took my arm and looked down into my eyes. "You can not go with him!"

"I have to go with him. I just… I have to," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Sayid sighed and dropped my arm. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them, fixing his gaze back on me. "You will not get rescued," he said softly.

"I trust Charlie. Definitely not Locke, but I trust Charlie. He said _they_ weren't who we thought they were. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong. But I'm going with Locke." I spoke softly, a lump rising in my throat and tears filling my eyes. I stepped back from my brother, suddenly terrified that I made the wrong decision.

"Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John," Ben said, still handcuffed.

"He's all yours," Jack said to Locke. Ben stood with us, as did Adam, Alex, Karl and Rousseau. And then, what shocked me the most, Sawyer joined us as well.

Someone handed me Vincent's leash and I bent down, rubbing the dog's ears. Raindrops began falling in steady intervals and we all glanced up at the sky. "Well, you know where to find us if you change your mind." Locke began walking away and we all followed, like children playing 'follow-the-leader.'

As we walked through the jungle, off to places I had never been, I felt some semblance of safety. I may be walking through the jungle, but I was with a dozen or more people including Claire, Adam and Sawyer.

"You're Kalie, right?" I turned to the sound of the voice surprised. Ben was speaking to me.

"What do you want?" I asked rather rudely. I didn't want to talk to him especially since his people kidnapped me.

"You've been wondering why Richard let you go. Why you were only with us for a day while the others for over a week."

I stopped on the path and stared at him. "What about it?" I was curious, had been since I made it back to my tent. Only Charlie knew that I had been taken, I didn't tell a soul other than him. Thinking of him made my heart ache and I felt the tears well in my eyes.

"Richard is a bit more…sentimental that I. The reason is simple, you look like his sister. She died many, many years ago and he still misses her."

"His sister?" I asked, slightly confused. From what I remembered, Richard looks nothing like me. Though, our skin is a similar tone and our hair is black. Who knows? Ben was probably playing mind games with me; maybe thinking I'd let him free if he was nice enough.

"You should ask him about her." He hobbled away, up towards the front of the line.

Sawyer came up behind me, gently nudging my shoulder as he passed. "Come on, Tinkerbelle. Get a move on." He smiled back at me as I started walking and I was shocked. He hadn't said more than a few words to me since he took up the role as leader while Jack was gone. I wasn't sure if I like it, or not. Strangely, I actually missed being called Tinkerbelle. Hearing my name come out of his mouth was weird and I certainly wasn't used to it.

So we walked, through the jungle, pausing every hour or so to rest. The branches cut at our arms and the wind blew through the leaves, causing creepy sounds. Every so often, I'd find myself looking back, checking to see if we were being followed. Crazy, but I was nervous.I avoided Ben like the plague and tried to stay close to Claire. She wouldn't talk about Charlie, wouldn't say much at allreally. She handed Aaron to me after two hours and I held him as he slept. I wanted to say something, anything, but I knew it wouldn't help. When Boone died, I was content to be left alone and Claire probably felt the same way.

About four hours in, we came across a woman in a pond. 'Hi,' she said when she saw us.

'Hi yourself,' Locke replied.

We helped her out and took a break, sitting around in a circle. I gave Vincent water and rubbed his neck, letting him rest his head on my legs. 'I can't believe you're alive. How many are there of you?'

I glanced around, waiting for someone to answer. To my surprise, Hurley responded. 'About forty-eight of us survived the crash, but that's not including the tail section. Most of them are dead now,' he added with a small shrug.

'Hugo,' Locke said, his voice warning.

'So you've all been living here this entire time? Is that your baby?' She asked Claire.

'Yeah, this is Aaron.'

She picked up her pack. 'I've got so many more questions to ask you, but that can all wait until we're on the freighter. We've all got one of these transponders, so if we just sit tight, they'll find us, all right?'

Locke asked her a few questions, and I thought he was being rather impolite. Sure, she was on a boat with people that may or may not want to rescue us, but did that give him the right to be rude to her. 'Get up,' he said as he stood. 'You're coming with us.'

'What? No, we need to stay where we are so they can find us.' The woman protested, but it looked as if Locke's mind was made up.

I stood and helped Claire gather her things. 'See, there's your problem. We don't want to be found. Where's Vincent?'

Looking around in surprise, I walked Vincent's leash over and handed it to Locke. 'What do you need Vincent for?'

'You'll see.' He walked over and pulled the transponder off the woman's pack. After pulling some vines from the jungle, he tied the transponder to Vincent's neck. 'Go find Jack,' he said softly.

'Locke,' I started to protest but Vincent was already off and running.

The woman protested, Ben shot her, Sawyer punched him and Locke nearly killed him. Locke, Benjamin and Sawyer argued about what to do with Benjamin. Sawyer and Locke wanted to kill him, but Benjamin was protesting. 'Because I know what they're doing there. Because I know what they want.'

'What do they want?'

'Me, James. They want me.'

'How do you know all this?' Locke asked and for the first time in a while, I was actually curious of the answers.

Benjamin almost smirked. 'Because I have a man on their boat.'

We started walking again, Rousseau holding onto Benjamin's rope. Locke stopped us in a clearing, looking for a cabin. Whatever he needed a cabin for was beyond me. 'Doesn't matter,' Locke said after a few minutes of staring into blank space. 'We continue onward with the plan.'

I sighed and followed the line through the jungle. The trip through the trees was long, hot and tiring, but finally we made it to the Barracks. For lack of a better word, it was lovely. It was like a little town, complete with town center. Houses were scattered about, set along sidewalks and paths. Gardens flourished and trees surrounded the outskirts. It was beautiful! Under other circumstances, I would love to be living here.

"All right," Locke started and we all crowded into a group. I was still holding Aaron and jiggled him slightly, to keep him quiet. "We'll split up into houses. Take whichever one you want expect that one," he pointed to a two story house and then the one next to it, "and that one. Have dinner and sleep. We'll meet tomorrow."

I looked at Claire. "Did you want to room together? I'm sure there are houses with two bedrooms."

"Well," she said softly, looking around sheepishly and avoiding my eyes. "I think I'd rather live by myself if you don't mind."

It took a few seconds for her words to register. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you around."

She disappeared into a house and I stood rooted to the spot. Where would I go? Shaking my head quickly, I walked along the sidewalk to an empty house a few away from the two-story one. The front door was unlocked, and when I opened it, I was shocked to find a fully furnished home. The living room was full of furniture, paintings on the walls, bookcases filled with books. The kitchen held a small table, cabinets and all the appliances we could dream off. If I checked, I was almost positive the fridge would be full of food.

Walking back, I found a beautiful bathroom, complete with shower and tub. Next to that were two bedrooms, both with what looked like Queen sized beds and dressers to match. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.

The first thing I did was strip out of my dirty, grimy clothes and take a shower. It was pure heaven, letting the hot water wash away the dirt and relax my tense muscles. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and grinned. The smell of soap filled my lungs. Never before had I enjoyed a shower this much. It had been months since I took an actual shower, not since I had left my hotel room in Sydney. I never felt comfortable taking one in the hatch. It felt like someone would walk in on me at any moment.

There were piles of clothes in the closets, and thankfully most were almost my size. After dressing, I pulled food from the fridge and cabinets, making a better meal than I had had in months. The hamburger cooked in the frying pan while I sliced onions and lettuce, browned the bun and squirted mustard on it. It was hot, juicy and the best tasting cheeseburger I ever ate.

The thought of a cheeseburger stuck in my mind, triggering a memory I had struggled to forget. The image of Boone's broken, bloody, bruised body flashed through my mind. His whispered words about a cheeseburger floated through my mind.I placed the burger down and took a deep breath. I was okay. It was okay to feel this way, but I needed to move on. I couldn't think of him all the time. I couldn't mourn him for the rest of my life.

After finishing the burger, I washed the dishes and made tea. There were several different flavors in the pantry, along with several different mugs. Iboiled the water,steeped the teabags and sat on the porch. What was Sayid doing? I wondered, listening to the breeze blow through the trees.

"Kalie?" I looked up, surprised to see John Locke standing in the kitchen. 'I need you to stay here. Don't leave the house, just stay here.'

'Why?' I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. 'Why do I need to stay here?'

'Because I told you to.' I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth to argue. 'Our friends are on their way here and we're going to catch them. Stay here.'

He disappeared out the door and I dropped my head. Why did I come here? Why did I go with Locke when I should have stayed with Sayid?

* * *

**AN: Here's chapter 34. 3 chapters left, maybe, that's the plan at least. I hope this wasn't too choppy, I tried to clump a lot of things in this chapter and I hope it worked.**

**Thanks to JacDanvers, the_werewolf_gal and CaptJessicaSparrow for reviewing!**


	35. At the Barracks

**Chapter 35: At the Barracks, Day 92-95**

I did what Locke told me to. I stayed in my house and waited for someone to tell me what to do. If only Claire had wanted to share a house, I wouldn't have been alone. "No, don't feel sorry for yourself," I said to myself, shaking my head.

I wandered the house, wondering who had lived here before we arrived. There were no family pictures, just generic paintings, and I assumed whoever they were, they took their personal effects with them. I scanned the bookshelf, picking a random book and carrying it to the couch. With my legs curled under me, I pulled a blanket from the back of the couch over me and settled down to read.

It was sometime around two when I heard a knock on the front door. I dog-eared the page, shut the book and stood up to answer the door. Expecting to see Locke, I couldn't hold back my scowl. When I opened the door however, I wasn't greeted with Locke.

"Kalie," Sayid said softly. "May I come in?"

I was stunned to see him on my doorstep, when he was supposed to be on the beach getting rescued. "Um, sure." I stepped aside and let him enter before shutting the door behind him. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on the freighter getting rescued?"

He turned and smiled sadly before sitting on the couch. "In order to be rescued, we needed Charlotte. Kate, Miles and I came to ask John for her."

"I'm betting he didn't agree." I sat next to him, feeling awkward in our current situation.

"No, no, he did not agree. However, I managed a trade. I will be taking Charlotte back with me and he will keep Miles." He turned towards me, reaching out and taking my hands in his. "Please, Kalie, come with me. Come back to the beach and we will be rescued. We'll get off this island once and for all. We can go home."

Biting my lip, I shook my head. "Are you positive they're going to let us go home?" I whispered fearfully. "I want nothing more to get off this island, but Locke and Ben say they're here to kill us."

"And you believe them?" Sayid asked loudly, dropping my hands and standing up. "I will make sure they do not hurt you. I will do all I can to keep you safe. Now please, come with me." He pleaded, which was so unlike him**.**

I weighed the options. I could go with him, be rid of Locke and get off this island, probably today. Or I could stay and pray Locke knows what he's doing. "I'm sorry. I can't."

Sayid sighed and nodded. "Hopefully, we will meet again one day." He held out his hand and I took it, letting him pull me to my feet.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, looking up at him. "I want to go, I do. I just… I don"t trust them. I don't trust Locke either, but…" I shrugged. Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Be careful. I'll see you soon."

He hesitated for a moment, before hugging me back. "I am always careful. If you change your mind, we will be at the beach."

"Okay." Standing on my toes, I kissed his cheek and pulled back. "Bye Sayid." I walked to the front door and pulled it open.

"Good bye, Kalila." He walked out and I watched him leave. I forced myself to stay rooted to the spot and not follow him. What if Locke was wrong? What if they really were going to rescue us and we were going to be rescued?

"Hey Kalie." I looked up and watched Adam skip up the porch steps. "What are you doing?"

I forced a smile and walked out of the house, sitting in one of the chairs on the porch. "Trying to figure out if I made the right choice."

"Which choice was that?" Adam sat in the chair opposite me and leaned forward.

"On staying here. Sayid wanted me to go back with him."

"Why didn't you?"

Shrugging I leaned back in the chair and crossed my legs. "Charlie said they weren't who we thought they were. I trust Charlie."

"Then don't worry about it. I'm going for a walk around this place, did you want to come?" He stood up and held out his hand.

"Thanks, but I think I might go to bed early. It'll be nice to sleep in a bed and not on the ground."

"That it will. All right, well I'll see you later." He jumped off the porch and left, walking down the sidewalk towards the town center.

"Bye, Adam," I said softly, waving at his retreating form. Again I debated my decision. I could go with him. It would be nice to walk with a boy again. "Hey Adam," I called, pulling the front door shut and jumping off the porch. "I think I will come for that walk with you, if you don't mind."

A large grin spread across his face and he nodded. "I'd like that very much. Where would you like to walk?"

"Oh, anywhere around is fine."

Adam reached his hand over and took mine in his. "Okay, let's go this way and circle around. We can get a general layout of the land."

"Sounds good." I liked the feeling of Adam's hand in mine. It wasn't quite the same as Boone's had been, but it was close. The skin wasn't as rough, the nails not quite as chipped.

We walked hand in hand around the outskirts of the neighborhood. We passed a gym, playground, pool and what looked like a community center. I wanted to look inside, but Adam gently dragged me away. "We can peek later," he said with a smile.

Our walk was short and before I knew it, we were back in front of my new home. He walked me up the steps and we stood on the front step in an awkward silence. "Have a good night, Kalie," he said softly.

I shifted my weight and looked up at him, wondering if he was going to try and kiss me. I wasn't sure if this counted as a date and I wasn't sure if I wanted a three months enough time? Considering I barely knew Boone for a month before he died, and we hadn't proceeded too far when he was alive.

Adam leaned forward and brushed his lips against my cheek. "Have a nice night." I stood on the steps and watched him leave, unable to hide the grin that was slowly spreading across my lips.

I opened the front door and stepped inside, shutting it and clicking the lock behind me. It was dark, but I left the lights out, sitting instead on the couch, staring at the wall. It was the first time I'd been alone and able to think. I had worked so hard at staying active, not pausing to think, but now I was alone. Charlie's face appeared in my mind and I bit my lip, taking a deep breath.

I missed him. I wanted to hear his voice, to listen to him play his guitar. I wanted to record that song with him, even if I knew it probably wouldn't have happened. A tear slipped down my cheek and I reached up to brush it away. "Why do I keep losing people?" I asked the air. "Why does everyone I love have to die?"

*~*~*

When I woke the next morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows. I stretched out, reaching my arms over my head. This bed was heavenly. The sheets were soft and the comforter was made of down. Even my bed at home wasn't this comfortable. I didn't want to get up and face the day.

Finally, I couldn't put it off any longer. I threw the covers off my legs and swung them over the side of the bed. Making my way to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and hair before pulling an outfit from the closet. It was strange being in someone else's house, wearing someone else's clothes. But I refused to wear the same tee shirt I was wearing the day before. It was filthy.

In the kitchen, I fixed a pot of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table, sipping slowly. What would today bring? More fighting probably, arguments and shouting.

Carrying my cup, I walked outside and sat on the front step. Kate and Sawyer were on Claire's front porch and I waved hello, sitting down in one of the chairs. Dharmaville was so peaceful and I couldn't hold back a smile as a warm breeze blew across the porch.

"Kalie, would you do me a favor?" I looked up, rolling my eyes as Locke walked up the front steps.

"That depends. What is it?" I rested the coffee cup on my knee and waited for the explanation.

"Would you bring breakfast down to Miles? I would do it myself, but I need to speak with Ben." He leaned on the railing, waiting for my response.

Did I feel like visiting with this Miles person? Although he was on the freighter, maybe he could help me deal with my decision. "Sure. Where is he?"

"He's in the Rec. room, right over there." He pointed to the building Adam had pulled me from the day before during our walk. "Just bring him some cereal or toast, nothing fancy." He stood up straight and walked a few steps before turning back. "Oh and Kalie, don't pay much attention to what he has to say."

I narrowed my eyebrows slightly, confused by his direction. What did it matter what he said? It was up to me whether not I wanted to listen, not John Locke. "Yeah, sure," I agreed, standing up and heading into the kitchen to fix his breakfast.

I searched through the cupboards, pulling out a tray, glass, bowl and plate, and placing them on the counter. There was a box of Dharma-Oos and bread in the pantry. I added orange juice to the tray and set out across the town centre towards the Rec. room.

Knocking softly on the door, I shook my head, realizing Locke had handed me the key. I balanced the tray on my knee and pulled the key from my pocket. Sticking it in the lock, I turned the knob and pushed the door open, stepping into the dimly lit room.

"Hey," I said softly. "You're Miles, right?"

"Aren't you the brilliant one? Who are you? The Welcome Wagon?" He rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair.

I was speechless, frozen for a moment before pulling the door behind me. "Umm, no, sorry, no Welcome Wagon. I'm Kalie." Forcing a smile, I placed the tray on a table near him and stepped back.

"How wonderful," he said sarcastically.

How rude. "Look, here's your breakfast. Eat it, don't eat it, I really could care less. I'm untying your hands from the chair legs so you can eat. Don't try anything." Kneeling down, I carefully untied the large knot. My heart was pounding and I hoped he wouldn't do anything. He wouldn't hurt a girl, would he?

"Like I'm scared of a fifteen year old."

I bit my lip and took a deep breath, trying to calm my annoyance. "I'm nineteen." Standing up, I crossed the room and sat in a chair near the door, ready to run if he tried anything.

"You look fifteen." He turned to the table and picked at his cereal, sipping slowly at the juice.

Crossing my arms across my chest, I leaned back, trying not to watch him eat. He was of Asian descent, with tan skin and brown eyes. If he stood, he couldn't be much more than two-three inches taller than me. I might have thought he was cute, if he hadn't shown his attitude.

"Are you going to sit and watch me eat?"

"Do you ever close your mouth?" I rolled my eyes and shifted in my seat.

"Sometimes," he said with a cocky grin.

Heaving a sigh, I stood and walked across the room. "Give me your hand; I need to tie them back up." Miles dropped the spoon into his cereal bowl and dropped his hand down next to the other one. "Thank you," I said softly, tying the rope around his hands.

Without meaning to, I looked up as I finished, meeting his eyes. Okay, so he was cute, even if he was a jerk. "Nice visiting with you," he said sarcastically.

"Can't say I agree." I picked up his tray and crossed the room, resting it on my knee to open the door. After walking through, I pulled the door closed and locked it tight before returning the key to my pocket.

I returned the key to Locke and wasted the next day and a half doing nothing productive. I talked to Claire, walked with Adam, wondered why Kate had disappeared and Ben had moved into a house. There was so much drama on this island; everyone had something to say about Locke's decisions. I wish I could say I cared, but I really didn't.

We had Christmas dinner in Locke's house. I sat by Claire, alternating between holding Aaron and eating. It was quiet and peaceful, the only issue being Ben. Locke let him move back into his house, though none of us could figure out why.

Sometime after nine, I stood and made my way to the door. I needed to sleep and I was too homesick to be around everyone. I missed my Dad and Ashton. It was Christmas; I should have been home opening presents, going to church and eating dinner with them. Not having rabbit with people who were strangers two months ago.

"Kalie." I turned at the sound of my name, smiling as Adam walked up to me. "May I walk you back to your house?"

"Sure," I said softly, smiling up at him.

He reached out; taking my hand and holding open the front door. We walked in near silence, our hands swinging back and forth. "Well, here we are." I stepped up the porch and turned to face him, leaning against the door.

The air smelled like flowers and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and committing the smell to memory. "Have a good night." Adam leaned down, his lips brushing mine. "Bye, Kalie."

I watched as he walked down the steps, my fingers on my lips as I remembered the short kiss. Grinning, I turned and walked into the house, shutting and locking the door behind me.

As happy as I was, my heart still ached. Was I ready to be over Boone? Could I move on after only two months?

* * *

**AN: I had wanted to get this finished before the end of 2009, but that obviously didn't happen. But it WILL be finished by Tuesday. I've already finished the next chapter and there's one more after that before season 5. All chapters will be posted by Tuesday morning (I need to keep myself from peeking at spoilers for the premiere!)**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a review on the way out! Oh, and thanks to: the_werewolf_gal, ArticCascade and SimplyMarvy for reviewing the previous chapter!**


	36. Changing the Rules

**Chapter 36: Changing the Rules, Day 96-98**

Locke called a meeting. We had no idea why, only that he wanted us in his living room in fifteen minutes. So we all arrived, Claire and Aaron, Alex, Karl and the French woman, Sawyer and Ben, me and Adam, along with everyone else. It was late and all I wanted was to be back in my house, curled up with a book.

Sawyer and Ben were glaring at each other and Claire kept giving me sly smiles across the room, glancing from Adam back to me. I shook my head, smiling and feeling my cheeks blush bright pink. Charlie would have been able to keep her from teasing me about the situation.

As soon as the thought finished, I bit my lip. I missed Charlie. It had only been a few days, and I hadn't thought about him much. When Boone died, he occupied my every thought for days. Had we grown so accustomed to death that we barely paid it any mind?

I looked around the room again, taking note of everyone's facial expressions. Karl and Sawyer looked angry while Alex looked sad. No one was speaking and the silence echoed through the room.

The door opened and everyone's eyes looked up as Miles walked in with John Locke right behind him. "Thank you for your patience," he said as he shut the door behind him.

I glanced around the room and everyone's eyes were focused on Miles. He looked sweaty and actually surprised to be joining our little pow-wow. "I know it's taken me a few days to figure out our next move, but I didn't want to do anything until I knew more about our situation. You deserve to know everything I do… so no more secrets."

What secrets were there before? Oh yeah, why the people on the freighter were actually here. After thinking about it for a few days, I wasn't sure what I thought anymore. Charlie said one thing while Sayid said another.

"As you all know, Miles here and three of his people came to the island about a week ago." I glanced over at Miles and I couldn't tell his facial expression. He was either indifferent or annoyed. "I brought him up from the boathouse to share with us their purpose for coming here."

Miles looked over at Ben, "we're here for him."

"Umm, we kinda like knew that from forever ago," Hurley said, and I couldn't help but smile at his candor.

"Well all right then, problem solved. How soon do we turn him over?" Sawyer leaned against the door and for once I actually agreed with him. If we turned Ben in, maybe they would take us home.

"We can't turn him over," John said softly.

"Well, why the hell not?"

"Because once they have me, they have orders to destroy every living person on this island."

I gasped softly and Adam rested his hand on my shoulder. A few people looked as surprised as I did and when I glanced at Miles, he gave a small nod. "So what, he's one of us now? You're going to protect him? He tried to kill you, John," Claire said. I think she was the only person who still called him by his first name.

"Yeah, he won't even tell us who is spy on the boat is."

"It's Michael," Ben said to everyone's surprise.

"What?"

"My spy on the freighter. It's Michael."

Michael. He killed Ana Lucia and Libby, and turned in our friends to the Others. "Wait, you mean the same guy who killed two women in cold blood to set this little bastard free? And sold all of us out so he could get off this island? That Michael?" Apparently Sawyer's thoughts were echoing mine.

"Yes, James. That Michael."

Everyone was stunned, even though we probably shouldn't be. Ben let Michael off the island; it only made sense he would want payment for that, more than just selling everyone out.

The meeting dispersed a few minutes later and I walked back to my house alone. Adam had offered, but after our kiss the previous night, no matter how quick it was, I wasn't sure how I felt about him. My thoughts and feelings were so jumbled; I couldn't make sense of any of it.

Once back inside the house, I locked the door and curled up on the couch. I was tired and my eyes ached, but I couldn't go to sleep, I was too antsy. I wanted a friend, and I really didn't have anyone I could talk to. Charlie and Boone were gone, Claire was acting strange towards me and I wasn't sure how I felt about Adam.

This was a moment I wanted Boone. I needed his comfort, just like after I had seen James. Tears filled my eyes and I hastily wiped them away. I couldn't cry anymore for him. It had been almost two months since he died, twice as long as I had known him.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, my sleep plagued by nightmares. I woke up screaming once; sweat pouring out of my body. The nightmare scared me, more than any I had had since coming to the island.

I sat on the porch for most of the morning, sipping at my coffee and watching people roam around. Bryan and Julie waved, taking a walk around the main area; Claire dropped Aaron off at Locke's house before roaming around by herself.

After washing the dishes from breakfast and dinner the night before, I returned to the porch. It was quiet and peaceful, very good for my strange mood. I was relaxed, the nightmare slowly fading from my memory.

"Kalie, get to John's house." I looked up to find Sawyer running up to my porch with a gun. "Now!"

"What's going on?" I jumped up, knocking over my chair.

"Just go, now." He ran off and I stood there for a second before racing down the steps and sidewalk. I made it to the house just as they were locking the door.

"Sawyer told me to come over here," I said breathlessly. "What's going on?"

Locke took my arm, pulling me into the house. "Get in and sit down."

I collapsed onto a couch and watched as Ben pulled bookcases and furniture over to barricade the door. "What's going on?" Hurley asked, carrying Aaron into the living room.

"Get away from the window, Hugo," Locke said, helping Ben move the bookcase. Hurley moved quickly to stand by next to me, rocking Aaron back and forth to stop him from crying.

"How's Sawyer going to get back in?" I looked up at Locke, now wondering the same thing.

"He's not," Ben answered.

Hurley looked down at me and I shrugged. Now I was worried. What was going on? "Locke, what's happening?"

No one answered and thirty seconds later, I jumped as gunshots echoed through the barracks. "Oh God," I said, clenching my hands together.

I wanted to look out the window, but was terrified of stray gunshots. Instead I stayed on the couch, staring straight ahead and not moving. What could I do? What about Sawyer, Julie or Adam? Where were they? Were they okay?

Outside, I heard yelling and then an explosion, screaming as the house shook. Ben pulled guns from places I didn't know you could hide guns and disappeared with Locke down the hallway. "Open the front door!" Sawyer's voice sounded through neighborhood and Hurley looked out the window.

"Watch Aaron," he said, placing him in a makeshift cradle and racing out of the room.

"Hey baby," I said, trying to quiet him down unsuccessfully.

I heard a crash of glass and raced into the living room, leaving Aaron alone in his crib. "Oh my goodness, Claire! Is she okay?"

"Kalie, get back," Sawyer shouted, after handing Claire off to Hurley and climbing through the window.

Rather than hang around the living room with the 'warriors,' I followed Hurley back to the bedroom with Claire. He laid her on the bed and I picked up Aaron, trying to calm his crying again. "Easy baby," I whispered, rocking him back and forth. "You're mummy's going to be just fine. Don't worry."

All this commotion was getting to me and I wanted to scream and cry just like Aaron. The front door slamming jerked me from my thoughts and I tip-toed down the hallway and into the living room. "…they want to talk." Miles held out a walkie-talkie to Ben and I leaned against the doorframe.

"How many of them are there?" I watched Sawyer pat down Miles, checking for weapons or something.

They argued back and forth, commenting and Ben walked around with a rifle in his hands. "They have a hostage," Miles said, shaking the walkie-talkie at Ben. "It's your daughter."

Ben looked shocked and I stared at the walkie-talkie. They had Alex. I barely talked to the girl in the past few days, but she was close to my age and on an island where everyone was at least five to ten years older than me, that meant something.

"Hello," Ben said into the receiver.

"_Am I speaking to Benjamin Linus?" _The voice on the other end asked.

"That's right."

"_My name is Martin Keamy. I'm an employee of Charles Widmore."_

That name seemed to mean something to Ben and Miles, but the rest of us were confused. "Who the hell is Charles Widmore?"

"Later," Locke whispered.

"_I want you to go look out your East window. That way we can talk face to face."_ Ben glanced at the window before walking over and pulling aside the curtains. _"See me?"_

"Yeah, I see you." I wanted to know what was going on, but I stayed frozen in my spot, terrified. Aaron was quiet in my arms and when I looked down, I noticed he was sleeping. How nice it would be to be able to sleep though this.

"_All right Mr. Linus, these are my terms. You're going to step out the front door, put your hands above your head and walk straight to me. Once I have you in my custody, I promise no one else in that house will be harmed."_

"You and I both know that once you have me, there's nothing to stop you from killing everyone else on this island." I looked from Sawyer to Miles, who had taken a seat. After surviving on a tropical island for nearly one hundred days, now we were going to die.

"_What kind of guy do you think I am?"_

One that was going to kill us was my answer, but I didn't think anyone wanted my opinion. Ben rattled off some facts about this Keamy person and I was shocked, even though I knew I shouldn't be. Ben knew things about people, and I couldn't help but wonder how, even if I didn't want to know.

"_Get your ass out here right now, or I'm going to kill your daughter, Ben."_

I gasped, shaking Aaron just enough that he woke for a moment before shifting in my arms and falling back to sleep. He was going to kill her.

Ben paused for a moment and he actually looked worried, which surprised me. "I'd like to present a counterproposal."

"_I'm listening."_

"You and your friends turn around and walk back to your helicopter. You fly away and forget you ever heard of this island."

"_Tell your Daddy goodbye."_

"_Dad, they're serious." _Alex's voice shook and I could hear the fear in her voice. My heart pounding in my chest and I shut my eyes, praying quickly. _"They killed Karl and my mother."_

"Alex, I have this under control. Everything's going to be okay."

"_Please Dad,"_ she screamed. _"Daddy! Please…"_

"_You have ten seconds, Ben."_

"She's not my daughter."

My jaw dropped and Sawyer looked at Ben with a look that was indescribable. I couldn't believe he would say something like that, especially with her sitting right there. Keamy started counting down. "She means nothing to me," Ben said, staring out the window. "I'm not coming out of this house. So if you want to kill her, go ahead and…"

I shrieked as a gunshot sounded from outside, a hand flying to my mouth. Miles and Sawyer stood to look out the window and Ben's jaw dropped. They killed her. He actually killed her.

Ben sat down hard, his mouth still open and his eyes wide. He didn't think they'd actually do it and yet… I stood up, still holding Aaron in my arms and placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. There was nothing I could say, nothing I could do for him. Sawyer and Locke discussed things, what to do, where to go. I squeezed his shoulder before moving to sit on the couch, rocking Aaron slowly.

"He changed the rules," Ben said with a flat voice as he stood up. He walked over to a bookcase and pulled it aside, stepping through.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Sawyer followed him just as a metal door descended from the ceiling, blocking him off. "Open this door!"

I glanced at Miles, the two of us just sitting still, nice and quiet. "What's going on?" Claire walked into the room followed closely by Hurley. I stood up and handed her Aaron who had just woken up.

"You all right, sweetheart?" Sawyer asked and I looked up in surprise. How much he had changed from when we first crashed.

"Yeah, I'm a bit wobbly, but I'll live."

"Well, I wouldn't be too sure of that," Miles interjected and I slapped his shoulder as I walked passed. He glared at me and I simply rolled my eyes.

The metal door opened and Ben stepped out. "Excuse me, James."

"Excuse you? What were you doing in there?"

Ben picked up the walkie-talkie and turned to address us. "Listen very carefully. I need all of you to do exactly as I say. In a minute we have to run from this house as fast as we can. At that moment, when I give the order, I want you to head straight for the tree line."

"You mean towards the guys with guns."

"No, we want to be as far away from them as possible."

The house started shaking and my heart pounded. An earthquake… we were going to die in an earthquake. Ben looked out the window, "okay, outside! Get outside now."

The men moved the furniture from in front of the door and headed out, Claire and I following closely behind. In front of us was a giant cloud of smoke. "What is that?" I whispered, hearing the screams from the jungle.

"What did you do?" Locke asked as trees were uprooted and the screams grew louder.

"Did you call that thing?"

A man ran from the jungle and Sawyer raised his rifle, aiming to shoot. Before he could fire, the cloud of smoke grabbed the man and pulled him back towards the jungle. "Oh my God," I whispered, my hands covering my mouth.

Someone grabbed my hand, pulling me back and when I looked, I found Miles dragging me away from the monster. "Fall back!" Locke yelled and soon we were all running away.

Once we reached the tree line, we stopped and Miles dropped my hand. I had to admit, I was a bit surprised to find him helping me. Locke lit a torch, lighting our small area of darkness and Sawyer stood guard. I stood next to Claire, not sure what to do or where to go. In my time on the island, I had never been this close to danger. I wasn't counting my short time with the Others, I wasn't there long enough to be worried.

A twig snapped and Sawyer raised his rifle, aiming to shoot. We waited in anticipation before Ben stepped through the tree line. Sawyer lowered his weapon, and we all relaxed, for a moment of course. "I'm sorry about your daughter, Ben."

"Thank you, John."

"That being said, you lied to me. You told me you didn't know what the smoke monster was."

"You can ask Jacob all about it when we go to the cabin."

I met Sawyer's eyes, completely confused. Who was Jacob? And what cabin were they talking about? "Hang on, Jacob? Who the hell's Jacob?"

"He's the man who's going to tell us what to do next," Ben replied.

"You know what? I'm done with all this. Never should have followed you wackos in the first place. I'm going back to the beach and Claire and the kid are coming with me. You good with that?"

"Yeah, I'm good with that," Claire replied trying to calm Aaron's crying once more.

"Kalie, you in?" I looked up in surprise at being addressed, my by given name no less.

I nodded, moving closer to Sawyer. "I'm coming with you." Turning, I nodded at Miles. He had lit a second torch and moved closer to us, ready to leave.

"Let's go," Sawyer said, turning and leading us away. "You too, Hurley."

We had walked no more than five steps when a gun clicked behind us. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Hugo stays with us," Locke said, and Sawyer spun quickly, pulling his gun on Locke.

They argued and I braced for gunfire. "Put your guns down, I'll stay. Please." I looked up at Sawyer and then Hurley, wishing he could come with us, away from this place.

"Come on," Sawyer said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading us onward.

I glanced back at Hurley before we cleared the trees and he was gone.

* * *

**AN: Here's chapter 36. Only one more until the end of season 4. Seasons 5 & 6 will be posted in a separate story _Lost in Time, _which will go up tomorrow afternoon. Season premiere is tomorrow night (SQUEE!) in the USA, so I hope you all watch.**

**Please leave a review on your way out and let me know what you thought.**


	37. All Hope Shattered

**Chapter 37: All Hope Shattered, Day 98-100**

The sun came up and we continued our trek through the jungle. I stumbled over raised roots and rocks, falling twice and scraping my palms. Miles helped me up both times, to my complete surprise. Maybe he wasn't such a jerk after all.

"Are you feeling okay, Claire?" I asked, walking quickly to catch up with her.

"Yeah, just a bit woozy."

"How's your head?"

Claire held Aaron close to her chest, covering his head with a blanket. "It's better, just got a bit of a headache. At least I'm not seeing things anymore."

"Yeah? What'd you see?"

"Back off," Sawyer warned.

"Just making conversation."

"Let's make some time. I want to get a bit farther before we camp for the night." Claire and Sawyer brushed passed Miles and me, walking quickly. "We hope we can make it to the beach by tomorrow morning."

I stepped carefully over roots, walking passed Miles, who had stopped in a small clearing. "Are you okay?" I asked, pausing and turning to face him. "Miles?"

Sawyer and Claire turned back to us. "What. Hey," Sawyer said, standing close.

"Who are Danielle and Karl?" Miles asked, snapping out of whatever trace he had been in.

Claire looked from Sawyer to Miles. "You mean Rousseau? The French woman?"

I looked from Claire to Miles, confused. "What about them?"

Miles dropped to the ground, moving dirt and branches. "Oh my God," Claire said, turning away from the clearing. I looked down, seeing a face buried in the dirt. Feeling bile rise in my throat, I closed my eyes, trying to rid the images from my mind.

"Is this your French woman?"

There was a pause and I heard more rustling."Karl,"Sawyer said softly. I opened my eyes to see Karl's face in the dirt. I said a short prayer for their souls before turning away. "How'd you know they were there? Your buddies do this?"

"They're not my buddies," Miles said, standing up and brushing the dirt off his hands. "I didn't sign up for this."

"Can we just get out of here, please? Can we just go?" Claire asked and I agreed wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, sure. Once we get back to the beach, everything's going to be fine." Sawyer placed his hand on Claire's back and led her away from the bodies.

I couldn't move, my eyes wouldn't leave the bodies. After so much death on the island, I shouldn't be this distressed. But this time, it seemed saw them just hours ago, and now they were lying in the dirt, dead. "Come on," Miles said, grabbing my arm and gently pulling me away from the bodies.

Once we were moving again, he dropped his hand and stepped away, letting me walk alone. I lagged behind the rest of the group, keeping them in sight. How did I wind up here? I just wanted to be safe, to get home, and here I was, trekking through the jungle for the hundredth time.

"Let's take a break. Grab some water, sit down…" Sawyer said when we came to a small stream. I sat on a fallen log, resting my feet. Pulling my water bottle from my pack, I unscrewed the cap and took a drink, making a face at the warm water.

"Mind if I sit here?" Claire gestured towards the other half of my log and I nodded. "Good. I don't think I could walk another step."

Nodding, I smiled over at her, not wanting to say anything. I took another sip of water and leaned back on the log. "I'll be happy when we get back to the beach, even if it was nice to sleep in a real bed for a change."

"Yeah, I agree."

I looked around the clearing, not sure how I was feeling. Adam and Julie were dead, they had to be. "Sawyer, what happened to everyone else at the Barracks? They're all dead, aren't they?"

Sawyer looked up from his water bottle and nodded. "Yeah, they're all dead."

"Okay," I said softly, feeling tears well in my eyes. Everyone I cared about seemed to die. I need to stop caring about people; my heart can't take my more loss.

Five minutes later, Sawyer had us moving again, through the trees, over rocks and roots, across streams. Sawyer led the line and I came in second, Claire and Miles behind us. We were quiet; the only sounds were the sticks breaking beneath our feet. "Hey, do you need some help with the baby?" I glanced back, seeing Miles walking close to Claire.

"No, I'm fine, thanks though."

"Are you sure? I'm good with kids." I rolled my eyes, Miles would not give up.

Bushes rustled ahead of us and we all stopped, turning towards the sound. James cocked the rifle and aimed, moving Claire and me behind him. Someone burst through the trees. "Who the hell are you?" Sawyer asked as the man held up his hands in surrender.

Miles stepped forward, his face showing recognition of the ragged looking man."Lapidus?"

"Miles?" The man said, obviously in shock.

"You two know each other?"

Claire and I stepped forward, peering at the man. "You guys gotta hide. Right now. Keamy's coming back. If he see's you, he'll kill all of ya."

"Oh no, not again," I whispered. Keamy was the man who shot Alex and killed Karl and Danielle.

"He's close. Go, no! Hide! Just hide!" Sawyer took my arm and Miles took Claire's, leading us away and into the trees. We ducked down, Sawyer in front, Claire, me and Miles behind him. Claire held Aaron close to her chest, hoping to keep him quiet until after the mercenaries were gone.

The leaves rustled again and four men walked through the trees. "Do you have the kit?" The larger man asked, and I recognized his voice. This was Keamy. I could barely see through the trees, only making out the figures of five men.

Aaron gurgled in Claire's arms and we all froze. I held my breath as the man who warned us began talking, trying to draw the murderers away. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was sure everyone around me could hear it. "We need to leave now," he said forcefully.

We all heaved a sigh of relief as they walked away through the trees, my heartbeat slowly returning to normal. "Oh thank God," I whispered, bringing a hand to my chest and closing my eyes. Maybe now we could get back to the beach.

A few hours later, we stopped for the night. I pulled off my sweatshirt and rolled it into a ball for a makeshift pillow. "All right, who can make a fire?" Miles asked, dropping a small pile of kindling in the center of our clearing.

Sawyer knelt down to the ground and began rubbing two sticks together. A spark flew into the kindling and soon, we had a nice roaring fire. "There's your fire," he said, rolling his eyes.

Sitting down near the flames, I wrapped my arms around my torso, taking a moment to think. Who would have thought I'd be here with Sawyer, Claire and Miles? I liked being at the Barracks with showers, food and beds. Why was it, once we had something good, it was taken away? Couldn't we ever get ahead? We were fine at the beach, and then the freighter had to come. We were fine at the Barracks and then they blew it all to** hell.**

I shut my eyes, crossing my arms across my chest. It was quiet in the jungle and the fire crackled and popped**. **Aaron's giggling and the sound of the wind in the trees slowly lulled me to sleep.

I woke the next morning to shuffling and a baby crying. "I have a restraining order," I heard Miles say. My eyes opened just in time to see Sawyer push Miles off his log.

"Claire? Claire!" I heard Sawyer yell and I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"What happened? Where's Claire?" I asked, watchingSawyer disappear into the trees, leaving me alone with Miles.

"She got up and left in the middle of the night. No, I didn't go after her."

"Obviously," I retorted, rolling my eyes.I looked towards the trees, wondering if I should go after Sawyer or stay with Miles. I didn't have the best luck when going into the jungle on my own, so I opted to stay, figuring Sawyer would be back soon. Miles and I stayed quiet and he kept poking at what was left of our fire.

He returned a few minutes later, carrying Aaron. "Hey Tinkerbelle, watch Aaron. We're going to look for Claire." Sawyer handed me the baby before walking off back into the trees with Miles.

Aaron started screaming again and I jiggled him, rocking him back and forth. "Shh, don't cry sweetie. I'm sure your mummy just went for a little walk. Don't worry," I said softly, trying to convince both of us.

Where could Claire have gone? Why would she have left Aaron?He cried again and Irummaged around near the fire for a piece of fruit. After picking off a small piece of mango, I held it up to Aaron's lips, letting the juice dribble into his mouth. "There baby. Is that better?" He quieted down and silence filled the clearing once more.

I rocked him back and forth, waiting for Sawyer and Miles to return. We walked the clearing, pacing back and forth. Finally, after nearly three hours, they walked back into the clearing. "No sign of her?"

"No. Come on; let's head down to the beach. Maybe she headed there**.**" I bent down to pick up my sweatshirt and followed Sawyer through the trees. Not for one second didI believe that Claire left Aaron and headed for the beach. She had been such a great mum to him, she would never have left him alone willingly.

There was no talking on this part of the hike, no one said a word. I carried Aaron, Sawyer carried his rifle and Miles stayed in the back of the procession. "Here, I'll carry him," Sawyer said after another hour. "He must be getting heavy."

"Yeah, sure." I handed him the baby and shook out my arms, falling into line behind Miles.

"Whoa, long time no see," Miles said from ahead of us.

I glanced back at Sawyer before heading through the trees. "Who you talking to up there, Genghis?"

I froze when I walked through the trees. Kate and Jack had their guns pointed at us, and when they recognized us, the guns were lowered. "Where's Claire?" Kate asked, looking from Sawyer to Aaron and back again.

"We lost her. She walked off into the jungle in the middle of the night. We looked for her for hours, but she was just gone." Jack bent over and Kate sighed. I knew they were disappointed, upset, angry even. But they couldn't be more worried than I was. Claire didn't know what was in that jungle. Especially with those mercenaries roaming around. "I was hoping she went back to the beach."

"She didn't," Jack said, shaking his head.

I paced the area, finallysitting down across from Miles on an old log. Jack and Sawyer argued, not anything new. I rolled my eyes at the argument, wanting to jump up and scream at them to stop. Arguing isn't going to solve anything**. **"What's with you and getting off the island? You're like a broken record or something…"

"Stop it," Kate interrupted. "What… you fighting each other now?" She took Aaron from Sawyer's arms, rocking him like I had before.

"Look, I put Sayid and Desmond on that chopper. It was my call. It was my responsibility. I'm going after it whether they're on it or not. Head back to the beach."

"Jack, no…" Kate walked off after him and I stood, stretching out my arms and legs. Apparently it was back to the trail again.

"That son-of-a-bitch is stubborn. Wait up; you don't get to die alone. Kalie, go with Kate back to the beach." Sawyer cocked his gun and headed off through the trees, following Jack.

We stood there; in the trees for another minute before Kate started off towards what I assumed was the beach. The trip was short and I soon saw the water and sand we had called home. "Sayid! What are you doing here? Jack thought that you…" I heard Kate call his name, but I didn't actually believe he was there.

When I walked over the sand dune, I saw was standing in the sand and we surrounded him. "I know what Jack thought, that's why I'm going after him." I wanted to hug him and cry, but now was not the time. "How far ahead is he?"

"I… I dunno. I left him about an hour ago. I can track him. Look, you are not going to catch up to them unless I go with you." Sayid looked skeptical and I couldn't say I blamed him. Although, this was a trek into the heart of darkness, right up Kate's alley.

"Let's go," he said and I shook my head.

Sayid turned to me with a sigh. "Go, pack a bag and hurry back. You need to be onthat freighter. Go, Kalie."

"Be careful," I said, quickly hugging his neck. He nodded and Iraced off towards my tent.

We were leaving, finally leaving this bloody island. I should be excited, happy, overjoyed, but I'm not. I was leaving my life behind. The past 100 days changed me, whether it was for the better I had yet to find out, but I was leaving them behind. Wasn'tthis what I wanted from the beginning? Sure, but I never thought it would actually happen. I had come to terms with living on this island.

"Kalie, what are you doing?" Juliet asked from behind me. I was kneeling just outside my tent, folding clothes and stuffing them into my pack. I grabbed my journal from under the mattress and pushed it on top.

"I'm packing a bag with some clothes and my things. Who knows how long it's going to take until we're back on dry land and I don't want to wear the same thing day after day if I can help it." I folded another shirt and stuffed it into my backpack.

There was a long, extended pause. "Yes, but some of those aren't your clothes."

I shook my head and blinked back the tears I knew were coming. "No," I said softly, looking up at them. "Some of them are Boone's."

"He was your boyfriend?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes." I really didn't have a problem with Juliet, not anymore. Yes, she worked as a spy for that bug-eyed idiot, but she also helped us. And she seemed to want off this island as much as we did.

"What happened to him?"

I took a deep breath, "his leg was crushed in a fall. Jack tried to save him but…" I trailed off and glanced towards Juliet.

She nodded and offered what I took as a sympathetic smile. "Well, finish packing. We'll be down by the water."

I didn't notice when she walked away, leaving me to look over the pile of clothes in the tent. The floor was strewn with a conglomeration of my clothes and Boone's. I pulled one of Boone's shirts over my head and wrapped my arms around myself. I missed him, so much. But now I was leaving, leaving and I wouldn't be coming back. His body was here, Shannon's body was here… I would never be able to visit their graves like I could my brother's.

Everyone once in a while, I would think of something that I needed to tell him, but I couldn't.

After picking up the pack, I followed Juliet down the beach. I stood off to the side, watching out over the water. Covering my eyes with my hand, I smiled as theZodiac came closer to the island and ran up on the sand.

Juliet and a few others helped pull it onto the sand and Daniel walked off. "Kalie! Come on!" Juliet called to me and I jogged over, wondering what she wanted.

"What?"

"Get in. You can go on the next run." She gestured to the raft and I stared down at it, thoughts racing through my mind. I could get on, get as far away from this island as I could and be done. All I had to do was climb in and I would be safe.

"I'll wait for the next one. There's one last thing I want to do." I forced a smile and walked off, away from the raft and away from Juliet.

I walked quickly up the sand and over to a small clearing where several makeshift wooden crosses were stuck in the sand. Grass had covered the mounds now, after all it had been at least a month since anyone new had been brought here. Kneeling down next to one of the mounds, I picked at the grass. "Hey," I said softly to the cross. "We're actually getting rescued. Can you believe it?

"I wish you were coming with us. I'm going to meet your mum; I wrote her a letter and I want to hand deliver it to her. Yes, yes you told me she was awful, but I'm still giving it to her." I glanced over my shoulder at the water, keeping an eye out for the raft. "Another guy was interested in me, Adam." I smiled as tears filled my eyes. "He was killed. These mercenaries shot and killed him. Charlie died too and Claire's gone missing.

"Everyone I love dies. My mom, James, you, Charlie, Adam… I can't do this anymore." I wiped the salty tears from my eyes and brushed back a lock of stray hair. "I love you and I'm sorry we're leaving you here. Maybe we'll come back one day."

Standing up, I kissed my fingers and lightly placed them on the top of the cross. "Bye, Boone. Bye, Shannon."

I turned away and walked away from the cemetery, my heart feeling lighter than when I entered. The beach was quiet; everyone was waiting by the water's edge for the raft to return. I walked up to where Juliet was standing and raised my hand to my eyes, blocking out the sun.

The explosion was felt all the way to the beach. I spun in the sand, my eyes wide with fear. I looked out towards the ocean and saw the fireball, the remnants of our only way off this God-forsaken island. "Was that…?" I asked Juliet, already knowing the answer.

She nodded, obviously as speechless as I was. "Oh goodness, Sun… Jin…Desmond…" I trailed off; my eyes wide open as I stared at the black smoke.

I collapsed into the sand, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. My jaw fell open and I stared at the curling smoke, traveling high into the sky. What were we going to do now? Our only hope of rescue… our boat… what was going to happen to us now?

Rather than stay in the sand and feel sorry for myself, I stood, brushing the debris from my jeans. I walked up the beach towards our pantry and collapsed onto a log near Miles and the redhead… Charlotte. "So, the freighter's gone huh?" Miles said, looking up at me over his can of peanuts.

"Yeah," I said softly, looking out towards the water. "It's gone."

I placed my arms on the table, resting my head on top and closing my eyes. This was all just an awful nightmare. I would open my eyes and be at the airport, waiting for my flight to board. Just an awful, terrible nightmare.

A loud hum pierced through the atmosphere and I stood up quickly, looking around the camp. Everyone else had the same idea; we were all looking around. A brilliant white light flashed through the sky. I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed my head as a blinding pain throbbed behind my eyes.

When I opened my eyes again and looked around, everyone was as confused as I was. I blinked, thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me. Our camp was gone.

* * *

**AN: There we are. The final chapter. I can't believe it's over! ****I hope you enjoyed it, and the entire story. Seasons 5 and 6 will be told in a new story, entitled _Lost in Time._ I'll have the first chapter posted tonight, right before the season premiere. Please check it out and let me know what you think.**

**Thank you for reading and for leaving your reviews. **


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